Accountant Isekai

The next day, my party was getting ready to leave the city. We were just about to leave when Astrid and Johannes approached us.

“Hey, you two. Did the date go well?” I asked.

Astrid blushed and looked down.

“It went great,” she said.

“The date seemed pretty improvised, but it was still really fun. I guess Astrid was really nervous about the whole thing,” Johannes stated.

“I wasn’t nervous!” Astrid’s blush grew.

“It’s fine, Astrid. I think it’s cute when girls are nervous on their first date,” he said.

“Then I was nervous. Yes, I was so nervous that I couldn’t think straight.”

“You can’t think straight, alright,” Joanna sighed. “But I don’t think that’s a bad thing in this case.”

“Well, we’ll be going now. I have to get to the Mr. and Mrs. Barbarian contest,” I said.

“Please wait,” Johannes spoke.

He and Astrid knelt before me.

“My lord,” they talked at the same time. “Please accept us into your service, Saint Gustav.”

Shock covered the faces of my companions.

“Getting people begging to work for you so soon? You should count yourself lucky, Gustav,” Dʰéǵʰom stated.

I thought, “I do, but this is a bit suspicious.”

“This is sudden. Why do you want to serve me?” I asked.

“We want to learn magic,” Astrid explained.

“You did a lot of talking on your date, didn’t you?” I wondered.

“Yes,” she said. “I told Johannes that my goal is to become the world’s greatest sword fighter.”

“I thought that was an awesome goal!” Johannes added.

“Doesn’t that make you rivals?” I questioned.

“I was surprised that he was happy about it too,” Astrid admitted.

“Astrid didn’t have to worry. I was never trying to be the world’s best swordsman,” Johannes stated. “I was just wandering around, killing monsters because I have nothing better to do.”

Dejection crossed his face. A look of guilt formed on Astrid.

“If that’s the case, why were you fighting all those duels?” I asked.

“I got a reputation as a great swordsman and people kept challenging me. My teacher told me that I should think like a tactician and not a fighter, so I never fought fair, and I never lost. That made more people challenge me,” Johannes answered.

Astrid said, “I still feel bad.”

“You don’t have to. I don’t think you suffered less than I did.”

“That doesn’t matter. All this time, I was just thinking of myself. I didn’t think of any of the people I dueled or anyone I met,” she stated.

“So, why do you want to learn magic, Astrid?” I asked.

“It started when I saw you move earlier when you used magic to enhance your body. I could barely keep up with it. And even without body-enhancing magic, nobles don’t age. They have potentially infinite time to get better at sword fighting while we commoners only have a few decades before we grow too old and feeble.”

“And you’re taking the chance that you’ll be able to use magic? It typically runes down bloodlines.”

“There’s a chance that I can use magic. My father was a noble, a duke. I’m his bastard daughter.”

“A duke?” I asked. “What happened to him?”

“He’s dead,” her voice filled with sadness.

Johannes put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” I said.

“It’s not your problem, so don’t worry about it. But there’s a chance that I can practice magic. If I can get you to train me, my abilities could manifest.”

“Okay, so you might be able to use magic,” I stated. “What about you, Johannes?”

“I was born from a corpse in a sacked city, and I never knew who my father was. I never figured out who my mother was either. But I might be descended from someone who could practice magic,” he explained.

“It’s a small chance, but still a chance. And sometimes commoners have magic despite not having the bloodline. Now, tell me: what’s your goal? Why do you want to learn magic?” I said.

“This feels a bit weird to say,” Johannes stated. “I’ve never had anything like a goal before. All I’ve been thinking about is how to get my next meal, how to survive my next duel, how to kill my next monster. But thanks to Astrid, I came up with something I want to do.”

Astrid’s entire body turned red when she heard that.

“I want to invent some new magical weapon, probably a sword of some sort,” Johannes explained.

“He’s going to help me become the world’s greatest swordsman and in return, I’ll help him with his goal,” Astrid added.

“Those two…are so cool!” I thought.

“If only every couple could be like them,” Dʰéǵʰom said.

“I’d be happy to take you two into my service,” I stated. “But we have a big issue: compensation.”

Joanna walked over to me.

“Be careful with what you say. If people found out about your family’s situation, they’d try to take advantage of it,” she whispered.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be careful,” I replied.

“Is there some issue with money?” Astrid asked.

“To put things in simple terms, my parents gave me a limited allowance. I can only spend so much, and I can’t afford to pay the full salary of a retainer.”

“How much would it cost to be trained in magic?” she questioned.

“Is it more than it costs to hire a retainer?” Johannes wondered.

“Most people learn magic from their parents, but some families hire someone to teach their children,” I said. “That costs a lot more than a retainer. But the trainer is always someone far better than I am. But learning from me would still cost more than hiring a retainer. I’d say about 3 times as much.”

“Then we can serve you to pay for our magical education,” Astrid suggested.

“That’d be acceptable, but I’d still need to pay for your food,” I stated.

“You won’t have to. I have plenty of money from my monster hunting,” Johannes assured me.

“I have some money too. We’ll also take extra jobs since we’ll just be guarding you as your retainers,” Astrid said.

“You can take extra jobs if you want to,” I told them. “But make sure you have enough time for studying. You have years of magical training to catch up to, so you have a lot of work to get to.”

“Then you’ll take us into your service?”

“Yes. I’m not a knight yet, so if they have magical talent, do you mind knighting them, Joanna?” I asked.

“I’d be happy to,” my wet nurse answered.

“Alright. You two are my bodyguards.”

“We are unworthy of this position,” Astrid stated.

“If you’re unworthy, then I won’t hire you,” I said.

“No, wait, I…”

“I was just joking. You’re hired,” I told her.

“Thank you, Saint Gustav. We’ll do our best,” Johannes smiled.

“I’m sure you will. Now, we’re taking a carriage to the Mr. and Mrs. Barbarian contest. You two can read, right?”

“We can,” Astrid said. “Why are you asking this?”

I reached into my luggage and pulled out a 350-page book.

“This is my old textbook from when I was a kid. I keep it around in case I need a refresher. You can start out by reading the first 15 pages of this book. Aside from learning magic, this book is great for helping you fall asleep.”

“By the gods, what have we gotten ourselves into?” Astrid sighed.

“A lot of training, that’s what. You have years of magical training to catch up to. You’ll do nothing but learn magic for the rest of the week, maybe the next month.”

“I’ve trained this hard before. I can take it,” she said.

“And I literally have nothing better to do aside from dating Astrid,” Johannes stated.

“Good. Now, you’re in my service, and your main job is to be my bodyguards,” I explained. “But I might have you do other things too. For example, I might have you do something like wear a jester suit, cover your body with olive oil and butter, and bring in a plate of oysters to stop a fight.”

“Would that work?” Johannes asked.

“That’s your first thought?” Astrid questioned.

“Yes.”

` “Okay, just wanted to make sure. It probably wouldn’t work for everyone, but I really like oysters.”

“Holy fuck, they’re just as insane as you,” Dʰéǵʰom groaned.

I thought, “I’m not insane. I’m perfectly normal.”

“The only normal people in our party are Joanna, me, and Dr. Minos. No, wait, for a minotaur, he’s pretty weird. Most minotaurs don’t go on to get their Ph.D.s.”

“Do you object to me traveling with them?”

“Not at all. People would probably think it’s weird if a saint was traveling around with just three people,” Dʰéǵʰom said.

“That sounds fine,” I replied. “I could always use more bodyguards, and people would probably find it weird that a saint’s traveling around with just three people.”

“Saint Gustav,” Astrid spoke up. “I wonder. Did you come to this town in the first place knowing we were here? Did you manipulate our date with magic to make us your bodyguards? Was all this according to your plan?”

“No, it’s a massive coincidence,” I said.

“Oh. I was about to compliment you on how good your plan was, but I guess not.”

“Can I change my answer?”

Astrid stated, “If it pleases you, Saint Gustav.”

I replied, “Then I’m changing it. This was all part of my master plan, even the parts that I couldn’t possibly have predicted or planned out.”

Joanna started laughing.

“Of course, Saint Gustav,” Astrid said.

“Why aren’t you laughing?” I asked.

“We’d never laugh at you, Saint Gustav,” Johannes assured me.

I questioned, “Even if I told a joke, like just now.”

Astrid forced a laugh, “Hahahahahaha! That was a great joke! Hilarious!”

“This won’t do at all,” I said. “It’s going to be really hard training you if you’re afraid of me.”

“We’re not afraid of you,” Johannes stated. “We’re just trying to be respectful.”

“Don’t contradict him! He’s a noble and he talks to a god!” Astrid’s voice came through and I heard her putting her hands over his mouth.

“You’re the daughter of a duke. You have noble blood. Gods, under Greenrivers’ law, the bastard child of a noble is a noble. What the fuck did your father do to make you this afraid of nobles? None of the other commoners I met were this afraid of me,” I replied.

Most of them were respectful, but Astrid was going way too far.

“It wasn’t my father, and I’m not from Greenrivers. I’m from Motteburh. My mother was from Greenrivers, but she was captured in an illegal slave raid and sold to a Motteburh noble. My father freed her, she fell in love with him, and she was poisoned by his enemies just after I was born. My father named me after her.”

Rage piled up through me like an accountant piling papers.

“Must…resist…urge…to…guillotine…Motteburh…nobles…until…I…have…more…power…” I thought.

“Settle down, Gustav,” Dʰéǵʰom said. “I’m sure you’ll overthrow the Motteburh nobles eventually. In the meantime, I have a few things to say to the patron god of Motteburh.”

“Astrid, Johannes, we can work on you not being afraid of me. Right now, we have to get going. The Mr. and Mrs. Barbarian contest is coming up!” I said.