A Time of Tigers - From Peasant to Emperor

"And what are you? A killer? A soldier? A hero?" Greeves said. "How do you think she sees you?"

"I don't know," Oliver said. "But she knows I'm not right… That I'm reckless. And I'm strong enough to be dangerous when I'm reckless. Perhaps she realizes that getting too close with a person like that is unwise."

"If you ask me, I'd say that's what the girl likes about you," Greeves said. "Damn it all, talking about this rubbish with you makes me want for a drink… A proper drink, I mean. Are you going to make me turn to the bottle again just to deal with your little problems of romance? It makes me sick, it does."

"Greeves…" Oliver growled.

"See, there's that anger in you," Greeves said. "That makes me shiver. To tell you the truth, I'm scared of you when you get like that. But why wouldn't I be? You've killed men far stronger than me. Even if you know something to be unlikely to do you any damage, it's still worth respecting."

"You don't act afraid," Oliver said.

"Because I'm used to you. I know you're not the type of person to go around bullying the weak. You wouldn't even get a kick out of it with me," Greeves said. "You'd just cut my head off if I ever stepped too far out of line, and you'd call it justice. Frightening thing that is – to be able to kill someone and be sure of your reasons for killing them. Madness, some might call it.

But somehow we can still all be sure that you're a far better man than me."

A serving girl peered through the door as they spoke, about to ask if there was anything she could fetch them, but Greeves quickly waved her away. "Best to keep your distance from this room for a while," he told her. "This isn't the sort of thing that I want to be getting leaked beyond these four walls."

She soon enough disappeared when he sent her away.

"This is a load of rubbish," Greeves yawned. "Do you really reckon Nila is that frightened of you that it would be a problem? Ain't you spent years together?"

"You don't know. You didn't see the look on her face," Oliver said.

Greeves shrugged. "Maybe I don't know. But since it's come to this, I'll throw the little fox under the wheels of the wagon – since she's making me clean up her messes. It ain't like she felt forced to court you. To be honest, I think her effort was most spent in not agreeing to marry you straight away. But from the looks of things, it was a good thing she did.

The two of you, for being good at what you're good at, you're pissin' pathetic at everything else."

"The girl speaks about you, even now that you're back, as if you're blooming Arthur Pendragon reborn," Greeves said. "She sees you as if you're covered in gold and silver every morning from head to toe. Obviously, I know enough about you to know that you're far from that. You're good with a sword, but that's about it.

You're as ruined as all slaves are likely to be – and somehow now they're calling you a noble. You're about thirty seconds away from losing your mind to insanity."

Oliver shook his head at the accuracy of that statement. "Thirty seconds seems a long time. You're overestimating me."

Greeves laughed loudly at that. "See, a properly good man can't make jokes like that, I don't think. They're too good at heart. You're a good lad, but you're tarnished. I wouldn't be able to stand you if you weren't. I know Nila knows you've got your flaws, but it seems to be the flaws that she likes better than anything else.

So this talk of her being afraid of you, it's rubbish."

"I wish I could believe that," Oliver said.

"Believe it or don't believe it, whatever you think you know, yer wrong, cos you're missing an answer here. I can state one thing, because it's obvious to me, and you don't seem to be taking it into account. That little troublemaker, she loves you, boy," Greeves said. "Sickeningly so. I envy you for it.

If a girl like Nila had loved me half as much as she loves you at your age, perhaps I wouldn't have turned out quite so crooked… But I suppose Loriel offered me much the same, far more than I deserve."

For something so sappy to come out of Greeves' mouth of all people, it left Oliver at a loss for words. Greeves said it so casually, as if it wasn't the most embarrassing topic that they had ever discussed together, and he said it with such certainty too.

"How can you be so sure?" Oliver asked.

"Hah! Who the hell do you think I am?" Greeves said. "I ran a whore house, boy. I've seen how someone acts when they're in love. Mainly in the hearts of men, though. It was a good thing to learn, 'cos love can make you a good deal of coin, if you know how to exploit it.

And aye, we made use of that in our customers."

"That doesn't seem likely to be true…" Oliver said.

"Well, you can doubt it all you want, but your world would make more sense if you counted on it. I don't know what's going on between the two of you, but at the very least, Nila got what she wanted for some time. I feel sick saying 'love' so much, but that's what the girl's feeling," Greeves said. "But you on the other hand…"

"Me what?" Oliver said.

"You're like me, you don't have the first clue what that looks like in yourself, even if you understand it in others," Greeves said. "I didn't understand when it mattered, and about the only woman in the world that I could match up with died before we could sort things out. You don't want to be making the same mistakes as me. How do you feel about Nila?"