A Time of Tigers - From Peasant to Emperor

She'd never meant to show him such an expression. He was far too clever for his own good. One look at her, and he'd known what she was feeling, and the hurt was evident on his face. He understood, but he didn't understand far enough. He thought it was him that she was afraid of… And she hadn't had the courage nor strength to call out and correct his mistaken assumptions.

When Greeves found her, her eyes were stained by tears. She didn't have the heart to hide it anymore. She'd ruined it all, she knew. After speaking with her mother, she had been determined to try, but trying had made her all the more afraid, and she'd been unable to hide what she was feeling any longer. The fear that she had shown him was far worse than the distance that she had forced between them.

"Well, he reckons he knows a stonemason that would be interested in the job… Hm? Where's the boy gone?" Greeves said, glancing around, oblivious. It didn't take him long to notice the tears that stained her face. "…What's been done, Nila?" He asked her. "Did you two have a fight?"

Nila shook her head furiously.

"Then what's got you crying like a child, eh?" Greeves said, with a surprising amount of gentleness for a man that was capable of such ruthlessness.

"…I've ruined it," Nila said hopelessly.

"Ruined it? You reckon so? Whatever you've said, I doubt that boy will stay pissed about it forever. He loves getting heated, he does. Have you not noticed that about him? He seems almost excited to have a reason to get angry, so he can swing that sword of his for a… reason…" Greeves trailed off, when he realized that he was off the mark.

"So he's not angry, eh?"

Nila shook her head.

"Well, I don't know what you've managed," Greeves said. "The two of you are meant to fight like a cat and dog… That's your way. How have you managed to get yourself all worked up into tears without something like that happening, eh?"

There was no way Nila could explain it to him, she knew. Only her mother had been able to put her finger on the heart of it. It was a thoroughly irrational reaction. No one but her was likely to understand it. And she hated herself for it.

"You'd best be off home," Greeves said. "Come on, little fox. I'll walk you. Then I'll go speak to that Lord of ours, eh? Is there anything that you want me to say to him? Maybe something that you couldn't say face to face?

No point leaving it like this. It's going to make the whole damn village feel awkward."

'…That's an option,' Nila realized. If she couldn't speak to Oliver properly herself, then maybe she could get someone else to speak on her behalf. But as soon as she thought that, she knew it to be a pathetic hope. The whole point of it all was that she couldn't speak to Oliver properly – that was what she wanted to fix.

If she started communicating through other people, then she was only getting further away from the problem.

"…Tell him, I'm not afraid of him," Nila said.

...

…

"She said she's not afraid of you," Greeves said, throwing a pile of letters down on the table in front of Oliver, along with that message from Nila. Whether he'd thought he may as well deliver all his messages all at once, or if he thought it all to be some amusing joke, Oliver could never tell with Greeves. "You got angry with her or something?

I didn't think you were the type to raise a hand to a woman."

"Piss off, Greeves, you know I wouldn't," Oliver said.

"Ah, them's fighting words," Greeves laughed. "It's easier, ain't it? You cast aside the mask of a noble, and you can just tell someone to fuck off. That's back to basics, that is. That's what man is meant to be able to do."

"Piss off," Oliver said again. "You're the last person I want to talk to right now."

"Maybe that means I'm the only person you ought to be talking to then, eh?" Greeves said, throwing himself down in the chair opposite with a sigh. "So, why'd the girl feel the need to declare that he wasn't frightened of you?"

"I wonder," Oliver said.

"She gave you some reason to think that she was?" Greeves said. "Hasn't been too smooth a sailing, has it not? The whole village is excited for you. They're thinking that you'll be getting married in the next month. A noble marrying a peasant – that's a love story that even the travelling merchants passing through are excited to hear. Seems like that's unlikely at the moment though."

"At least we can agree on that," Oliver said.

He rifled absentmindedly through the letters, and frowned when he spied a name that he recognized in Skullic. He could see the indentation of the pen on the envelope, as his name was written. That was a bad habit of Skullic's. He would write with enough force to break pen and paper when he was annoyed. It made Oliver certain that it was unlikely to be praise for any of his achievements on campaign.

"I shouldn't have been so forceful," Oliver said. "That was a mistake."

"Hm? Nah. If you ask me, that was the best thing you've ever done for Nila. Made yourself look like a man, you did," Greeves said. "Obviously, that would have been better if you'd managed not to screw the pooch in the meantime. Just how have you managed to cock it up?

What have you two even been arguing over?"

"We haven't been arguing," Oliver frowned. "We haven't even been talking."

"You were talking well enough today," Greeves said.

"Only when you're there," Oliver said. "When you're not, she's too terrified to even speak to me."

At that, Greeves guffawed. "What is she playing the role of the proper young maiden now? Didn't think she had it in her. She was confident in the embarrassing parts, and now she's gone all shy?"

His laughter confirmed to Oliver that Greeves was indeed the worst person in the world to talk of this with.

"It's not shyness," Oliver said. "She is afraid of me."

"And why would she be afraid of you, eh?" Greeves said.

"Because of what I am," Oliver said.