A Second Chance at Martyrdom

20 Tarsakh

I awoke in a bed, in a world not my own. A body not my own, not broken from years of conflict.

Why?

The question keeps bouncing around in my head, mixing with memories not my own. Of a little girl with a loving family, did I take her away from them? Another sin on the pile, but what did I do to earn it this time?

And why do I feel compelled to write in this journal?

I can’t help but feel bad, Tayvra’s family seemed so happy to see me well at breakfast. A simple affair that was hearty, some sort of beans mixed with bacon. I don’t know if we’re poor, I haven’t left our house, but looking outside it seems the world I’m in is far more primitive compared to Bet, horse-drawn carts going down the streets hint to it being at least a century or more in difference.

I managed to excuse myself without much question from my mother, but Pelsot asked me to not be long so as to go out to play with me. Do I want to? I have feelings like I should, but are those mine or Tayvra’s? Should I deny her after what I’ve seemingly done to her?

Tayvra’s memories didn’t prepare me for what I saw out in the streets. Creatures that aren’t human, but not case 53s. Too many, too coherent. Apparently there really are dwarves and elves and intelligent lizards.

Does that mean that wizards aren’t capes? I’ll have to figure that out if I meet one, but maybe…

Could I learn magic?

22 Tarsakh

I’m writing again. Jespa asked me about why I hadn’t been writing in it the last day, and it aroused suspicion from my parents.

What would happen if they knew I wasn’t their daughter? I can’t afford the risk, I don’t want to take my chances on the street as a five-year-old urchin. It’ll be hard enough to figure out what happened to me as is.

Are there capes in this world? Does Cauldron know about it?

What would it mean if they didn’t? I still feel my bugs to some extent so my passenger must still be around. The connection is faint though, worse than when I still went to Winslow even.

Answers will require research, Tayvra was looking into things before but couldn’t get far without money, so I’ll have to find some way to make it. I’ll also need to figure out how to hide my way of making it. A five-year-old having money in this world is still strange, despite the magic.

For now though…

I think I’ll just enjoy having a family again.

24 Tarsakh

I may have underestimated how hard this would be. My body is tiny and tired. Does everyone else just have a better pain tolerance than me, or is it just how familiar I used to be with being in shape? I know I’m a small child now (maybe five or six? It’s hard to tell and it isn’t like I can just ask), but it seems like Tayvra wasn’t all that in shape before I showed up anyway.

Another thing to try and improve on I suppose, though it’s hardly like I can go for runs on my own like this.

Waterdeep is safer than Brockton Bay was in a lot of ways, but a random five-year-old running around for the sake of it sounds like a good way to get snatched up.

At least assuming everyone isn’t blowing the lizardfolk thing out of proportion. Pelsot keeps talking about it and our parents don’t correct him, but if they were so dangerous they wouldn’t be allowed into the city by the guards, would they? They aren’t that incompetent, even if I think I might have seen a bribe or two already while we were out playing the last few days.

I also learned the names of my new parents. It hadn’t come up organically since we mostly only see them at home and we haven’t had company over. Apparently, Tayvra’s mother is named Virla, and her father is Tulgor. I don’t know how to feel about them honestly, they seem like fine folk, even if Father is busy with his job as a fisherman much of the day. Is it right for me to call them my parents though? I don’t know if I can yet, even if I have no idea if my dad is still alive. Just another regret from before I suppose, I was too cowardly to ask.

25 Tarsakh

I’m not sure why, but my powers are woefully weaker than before. I’m not sure the exact cause why, but it’s just one more mystery added to the pile. I can still sense them, somewhat, but it’s weaker than when I went to Winslow. I can’t command them as well either, one command at a time. No more multitasking, or at least nearly as much. I can still sort of form a swarm though, the command is still broadcasted, but the difference is palpable.

The spiders around here are also different, no Black Widows, or anything else I really recognize. If I want to attempt weaving silk cloth again I’ll have to do some durability testing.

I’m not sure how much I want to invest in it either, at least for personal use at the moment. I’m still stuck as a small child with a lot of growing up to do for many years, so if I were to make something it’d have to be flowy with a lot of room to fill in. Maybe I could sell them to others? That’ll be hard to actually do without blowing up any anonymity I could have, and who would take me that seriously either?

28 Tarsakh

Apparently Waterdeep outsources the schooling of its population to the local temples, primarily one belonging to a “god of knowledge”. I’m not sure what to think about them, it’s obvious that they exist in some form, their clerics are certainly real enough with their magic. They aren’t parahumans either, and there’s too many of them to be power-granting Trumps or something.

So then… The gods are real? It’s not like we were religious when I was growing up, Mom was staunchly atheist. What would she think of this world?

Well in this case there’s very physical evidence of their existence. There’s also a lot of them from what I learned in the lesson. Tayvra didn’t actually have a good grasp on more than maybe a dozen, but there might be over a hundred to study.

At least I can still read, though I have to be careful about it. The script is different from English but weirdly most of the words translate pretty similarly. That can’t be a coincidence. Cauldron couldn’t have been here, Contessa would have pulled resources from here for Gold Morning if that was the case. They’re clearly too useful not to.

Can people from here access other worlds then?

6 Mirtul

Today was the beginning of “The Plowing and the Running”. It’s some sort of festival meant to celebrate the start of spring, mostly featuring people competing in various races against each other, and is some sort of competition between the wards of the city. The winner of the ward bracket goes on to compete with the champions of the other wards.

Pelsot seemed really excited when Tulgor took us to watch the Dock Ward’s races. He was chatting about how he wanted to train to represent us once he grew up. Honestly, it wasn’t that great of a time beyond the novelty of watching real horse and chariot races, mostly due to the location. The Docks Ward is pretty cramped already, so rather than a proper racing area it ended up taking place outside the city gate, and ran along the outer wall of the city.

So naturally, you got to see the racers for only a single portion of the distance. I’d complain more about the incompetency of whoever was planning this route, but I have to assume that it was easier to just do this instead of trying to figure out how to clock off the winding streets of the docks.

The vendor food was good at least, they had these small meat pies that had some fruit mixed in. It reminded me of a pineapple ham, but in a convenient handheld shape. Jespa took turns trying out a bite from all our different pies but seemed to dislike mine. I guess she doesn’t have a sweet tooth.

17 Mirtul

I met Orsik again, or should I say that I met him for the first time? Either way, his findings were inconclusive but possibly promising. Apparently he found some random texts that featured a few of the characters quite accurately, the problem being that it was only a few of them mixed in with other scripts. It didn’t exactly provide a lot of hope for a shared connection, but he thinks that it has importance.

I neglected to comment on my own recent developments, how could I possibly explain what happened to Tayvra? What would happen to me? I was conflicted, but I hardly had another option, not even my her family knew.

He did give me a look though, but I wasn’t sure how much to read into it.

On a more interesting note though, Orsik is the first dwarf I’ve had a chance to really interact with. Sure, I’d seen a few around here and there on the streets, but from what I could tell it seemed most of them congregated in the northern half of the city rather than down here.

It seemed like there was a bit of economic racial segregation to the city, the Docks were mostly halflings, tieflings, orcs, and humans. Races like elves and dwarves seemed to be more wealthy if they were permanent residents of the city, so they mostly stuck to places like the Trades Ward, North Ward, or the Castle Ward.

I took the opportunity while we were studying at the Font of Knowledge to ask him a variety of questions, mostly about theology. I think he found it enjoyable for a child to take an interest in the topic, given how enthusiastic he was about lecturing on it. A lot of it flew over my head though, mostly because he knew more about the dwarven divine pantheon, and made a lot of references to various names and places that were hard to keep straight.

24 Mirtul

The last week has been fascinating, though I think Pelsot has gotten annoyed with me. I spent most of it studying at the Font, rather than out playing with him and the local kids in the nearby streets and lots.

I’ll have to try and make more time for him, if only because of how suspicious Virla and Turgor were. Apparently Tayvra wasn’t typically all that studious.

It was productive though, thanks to a combination of Orsik and the local priests actually acting like decent teachers. I’ve learned a lot more about the local gods and which are important for what reasons. How real all the legends are though is hard to say, the topics can date back tens of thousands of years allegedly, and most of them come from the priesthood of said divines. That isn’t helped by some contradictory information too, or at least it seemed one-sided.

The world was made by Selune and Shar, but then the personification of it, named Chauntea, asked for light and life to be given to the world. Shar and Selune warred over it, with the battle also creating the first goddess of magic, Mystryl.

Apparently gods die, mostly to other gods, though mortals would also often be causes for it.

That’s what happened to Mystryl, when one of the most powerful wizards in history attempted to absorb her to ascend to godhood and control all magic. He was overwhelmed though, and the goddess was reborn as Mystra. The event also caused the destruction of the ancient Netherese Empire, which was advanced enough to mostly live in floating cities that crashed during the event.

It seemed like parts of it were certainly true from what I could research. Sharran and Selunite priests are constantly at a subtle war with each other, with the Sharrans typically being banned from most civilized lands for their typically violent nihilistic philosophy. Over a century ago, there was a massive holy war that broke out in Waterdeep leading to them being ousted from the cityiir ouster.

Some other elements however seemed a bit more suspect. Was Karsus a real person, or was he meant to be a story to dissuade mortals of the risks of hubris and questioning the authority of the gods?

That, and also how much was left out of what was basically the mainstream public school education system? It wouldn’t be hard to selectively edit and hide away any stories of misdeeds of the “good” gods.

I wish Lisa was here, she’d probably be able to make better guesses about this stuff than I can with a few weeks of asking simple questions and listening to a few sermons.