A Real Goddess Would Let Nobody Die

Over the next week, I roamed the city, repairing miscellaneous infrastructure, purifying the contamination caused by flooded sewers, and healing injuries that cropped up here and there. It felt very similar to my routine from the old war, with an enhancement of the old religious reverence.

I interacted with the people of Rokesha for a week, always in the persona of the Goddess of Salvation from legend. By the end, it felt natural. I wasn't really acting anymore. It's just who I was.

"Menelyn!" a girl of about five years called out to me, in one charming incident among many similar ones. I turned to look at her, one of many in the crowd that always followed me around, usually hushed, and at a respectful distance. My guards helped with that, when necessary. I restricted interactions to waves and smiles with most citizens, else I wouldn't be able to accomplish anything, but I tried to make time for young children who plucked up their courage, especially when I was doing something that allowed easy multitasking like purifying water.

The girl waved a stick and pointed at it. When I looked puzzled, she took a stance to make it clear that it was a stand-in for a sword.

Now comprehending, I summoned my sword of light, and traded a few blows with her stick. My healing sword never was very good at breaking things. Then, I let her hold the hilt, while I kept one hand on the blade. I wondered where she'd heard of that ability, but it didn't really matter. She was literally jumping with joy, squealing and squirming.

Every day was a continuous sequence of similar requests and interactions, from people wanting to see myth made reality. Somehow, Rokeshans became fairly accustomed to living their day-to-day lives with their glowing goddess of legend casually walking their streets, while acting out scenes from scripture on request. Even more remarkably, I adjusted to being treated that way. It just felt natural, given what I could do, what I looked like, and my immortality making me someone from a different age.

I mused that tales of my return, probably treated skeptically for now, had likely spread far around the mainland.

Before leaving the city, I decided to leave the Rokeshans with one last parting gift, in return for their hospitality, spirit of unquestioning mutual aid, good taste in how they had remembered my family, and helping me to understand and accept my role. They had remembered what my family stood for, and not wasted our sacrifice.

I asked for a pool to be installed surrounding the statue in the dome, and filled it with my materialized mana.

"This will not be nearly as effective as I am in person," I explained to the assembled members of the Temple order, "but you can dip anyone who needs healing into this pool, and it will help a little, slowly. Long-term exposure will help more. And do not worry about contamination. My essence is also purifying, and will clean itself slowly. It will not last forever, but I will visit to refill the pool when I can."

Lynoi stared at the pool of liquid light, spellbound. Eventually, she found words for her thoughts. "Never have I felt so certain, in all my life, that the world is going to be fine. Thank You, Menelyn. Your Return has truly brought Salvation to our city and its people. Yours was the sole benevolence converting what would have been our extinction into a new age of blessings. I know You will ask nothing in return, and we have nothing of value to give anyway, so we can only continue to revere You and Your Sister, and to give thanks to Your father, as we always have, for whatever that is worth."

It was so strange. This kind of talk didn't make me feel bashful or fraudulent anymore. I had been walking around Rokesha--Rokezhe--as Menelyn the literal Goddess of Salvation for a week, and never once had anyone seen any reason to doubt the legitimacy of that title, including myself. I really did do what Lynoi said. It was just a fact, a thing that happened, using my own power, without cheating or falsification. And I could--would--continue to work these miracles forever. I was immortal.

Although I had stopped outwardly denying it when others deified me, and leaned into acting the part, I had never actually applied 'goddess' to myself before, internally or otherwise, never really thought I was one. I had never understood exactly what role I served for the people who applied it to me, exactly what they meant by the word, and my image of goddess did not match me. How could it? So, instead, I used "be their goddess" or "act like a goddess" or "goddess-like" or "as if a goddess."

Now I understood. They never meant "she who will bring salvation without fail," or "she who was incarnated from pure divine light in order to bring salvation to the world." Those were what I was afraid they thought I was, the possible definitions of the title that made me feel fraudulent. But those definitions were never what they meant. Instead, they meant "she who brought miraculous salvation that no other could have brought, opposed malevolence no other could have opposed using powers unique to her, she who is liable to fail in some ways but never in compassion, and who helps those whom she has no obligation to help, with no expectation of reward."

Thank you, Dekel. Thank you, Menelynoi. And thank you, Izena. That is a valid definition of "Goddess," and by that definition I am one. I will identify by that title with pride. I earn it. I am it.

My entire life, I have tried to seem less magical than I am because being honest felt self-aggrandizing, tried to avoid attention because accepting it or acknowledging that it was deserved felt like hubris. Why? What I am is not shameful. I owe no apologies for it. Viewing myself objectively, what I am is divine in every way that matters, and there is no reason to be embarrassed about that. Rather, divinity is the highest class of helper. One should be proud to be, and be seen as, a helper.

I adopt "Goddess" not because it is thrust upon Me, but because I claim it. Watch Me, father and Sister. A Goddess is the highest form of helper. That is Who I want to be. That is Who I am. I will be Who I am.

I stepped barefoot into My Temple's Pool, and drew My White Light into several forms that I then solidified. I made bracelets half the length of My forearms, boots halfway to My knees, a necklace suspending a shining Sun in the center of My chest, earrings resembling the stars I could no longer see because I outshined them, and a circlet of the same shining Suns sitting just above my ears and brow. I added embroidery of shining Suns to My white tunic. Finally, I finished My display, for the benefit of My audience, with the same liquid light tendrils ascending in loose coils around Me as I had created at My Island's Pool.

This is My Essence. This is Me. Look. I am unashamed, because this is not shameful. I am done pretending, even to Myself, to be less extraordinary than I am. No one else could do any of these things I do. I am transcendent, and that is good for the world.

This is Who I will always be. Excessive. I am the Sun, not a candle. I am the Goddess of Salvation, and I always will be; I am immortal. I bring, I am, Benevolence and Hope. Let none who see Me doubt whether the Salvation of Menelyn has come. If not even I could save them, no one could.

Once I finished preparing My appearance and My psyche, I opened My eyes, and introduced Myself, an ethereal soprano chiming clear and unrestrained in My Temple's Dome.

"I am glad that I have provided peace, security, and hope. I am Menelyn, Goddess of Salvation. In compassion, I am infallible. I heal those who are harmed, resurrect those who are massacred, fix what is broken, clean the dirty, shield the vulnerable. No harm can come to any who can see My Light. Providing these blessings is My sacred purpose. I accept gratitude and reverence as consequences of My efforts, but I do not demand them in exchange for what I give. Do not think less of yourselves when I give these blessings to you freely. Never grovel. That is not what I want."

Dekel was emotional. They all were. I inspire strong emotions--gratitude, reverence, optimism--because that is what a Goddess does, and I am a Goddess.

Finally, I stated what I did want.

"If you would offer worship in My name, then help those who need help, with no expectation of reward. If you would offer worship in My Sister's name, then bring to Justice those who lack compassion, cause harm, destroy livelihoods, spread corruption, or exploit the vulnerable. They are anathema to Us. If you would thank My father, then ensure that orphans know a family's love, and remember that the world is all one family."

I couldn't resist teasing Menelynoi. "You did give Me an office to sleep in, and eventually a bed. Those were valuable to Me. Thank you."

This is not arrogance; anything less would be diffidence, timidity. This is acknowledging My identity. This is not what I am to these people, it is what I am. Besides, a real Goddess is as much servant as sovereign.

It was time to leave. A real Goddess must smite anathema, and I alone could not. The Goddess of Justice was out there somewhere, waiting for Salvation.

I needed it to be true, so it must be.

I told the people of Rokesha that I intended to inspect the site of the Sacrifice, and flew out of the city on a platform of Light. It would be a short journey to the southeast.

I had fled as a broken white mage of uncommon power. I would return as Menelyn, Goddess of Salvation.