Chapter 51: A Nexus Devil ( Chapter 51:Ow, Jake!" Serafall said in pain.)
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"Please, get him off the stage! Please, somebody have a heart!"
"Fuuuuuck *burp* yo-you guys!" Ron yelled out before a red beam of light came from behind him and struck him, immediately rendering him unconscious.
McGonagall came up on the stage, her face completely red and livid at the absolute shameful display he just put on for everybody. She was going to have him in detention for the rest of his life if she had anything to say about it!
"I apologize for his horrible behavior, and I hope that doesn't reflect on my house as a whole," she gave a slight bow to everyone there, and she levitated Ron behind her and headed out of the ballroom.
Jake, meanwhile, had been having trouble breathing for the past couple of minutes.
"Are you okay there, Jake?" Serafall asked with amused concern.
"Haha, yep, I'm just fine," Jake said, still struggling to breathe. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh my GOD! That was the best, Luna! That was absolutely the best!"
"Ow, Jake!" Serafall said in pain.
"Haha... Sorry." Jake was struggling to breathe; he was laughing so hard as he said to Luna next to him, who was also contagiously giggling in agreement.
Jake and Harry strolled down one of the numerous corridors together, their recent attempt at flying with Harry's broom still fresh in their minds. However, it had not gone according to plan...
-flashback-
"Are you sure this thing won't obliterate my... um, my nuts?" Jake cautiously asked Harry as he stood over the Firebolt positioned between his legs.
Harry scoffed, "Of course not! It's a brand new Firebolt, a top-of-the-line racing broom! It's equipped with a bunch of cushioning charms to make it comfortable. Now, enough stalling. Let's focus on flying."
With a sigh, Jake settled onto the broom, hoping for a smooth ride. However, to his disappointment, it felt more like sitting on coarse carpet than the whatever he expected magical cushioned wood was supposed to feel like.
'Not much of an improvement,' he thought to himself.
"Hey, good work, Jake!" Harry cheered from ten feet below, hovering on the ground. "Now you just need to pick a direction and go."
Jake smirked, realizing it wasn't as terrible as he anticipated. Were his sensitive areas hurting? Yes, a bit. But was it unbearable? Not quite. "Alright!
" Jake said, gripping the broom tightly. "I was going to nickname you 'Ball Breaker', but now I'll call you the 'Nut Puncher.' The broom shook a little bit at the name.
Did it like the name? Jake figured that was a good sign…He was wrong.
Alright, Nut Puncher," Jake playfully addressed the broom. "Let's fly forward." Leaning forward with excitement, he expected an immediate takeoff. However, much to his surprise, nothing happened.
"Huh, what's going on-oooof!" The broom suddenly flipped upside down, forcefully ejecting Jake off its back, causing him to fall ten feet down and land with a thud in the dirt.
*THUD* "OW! Fuck you broom!"
Harry rushed over to Jake in concern. "Are you alright, man? What happened?" Surprisingly, the Firebolt flew back to Harry on its own. Snuggling right up to its owner.
Jake sat up, frustration evident in his voice. "That stupid Nut Puncher threw me off, what the hell, man?"
Harry looked offended, clutching his beloved Firebolt to his chest. "How can you expect it to fly for you if you insult it?" he retorted.
"What!?" Jake exclaimed. "I thought Hermione said only magic carpets were sentient, not brooms too!"
Harry scratched his cheek. "Oh right... well... about that. She doesn't actually know that brooms are also sentient. We figured if we told her, she'd be too afraid to ever fly on one again."
"So, if brooms are sentient too, why are only magic carpets banned?" Jake asked, thoroughly confused. Harry simply shrugged.
"Forget it," Jake said, acknowledging Hermione's wisdom. "Those things should be banned too!" He added, causing Harry to look horrified at the thought. What would he be without his beloved quidditch!?
-flashback end-
"Dumbledore specifically stated that the Second Challenge would require flying on a broom. How do you plan to get around that?" Harry asked.
Jake waved him off, dismissing any concerns. "Don't worry about it. I've already devised a plan in my mind. They only mentioned flying on a broom; they never specified that it had to be magical..."
"Potter!" A gruff voice shouted from the end of the hallway. Professor Moody, with his cane and fake leg, limped toward them. "How are you preparing for the second task, lad?" He inquired, fixing an intense gaze on Harry.
"I'm fine, sir," Harry smirked. "After all, I'm a master on the broom."
Moody glanced at Jake as an afterthought. "And you, lad, how are you faring?"
"I'll be fine," Jake replied confidently, like he hadn't just eaten dirt an hour earlier…
Moody gave them both a curt nod. "If you need any help at all, just come to me. I don't want you hurting or embarrassing yourselves out there," he said, seemingly concerned, before promptly turning and limping away.
With that interaction concluded, Jake bid farewell to Harry and made his way to the janitor's office. After navigating the twisting hallways for a couple of minutes, he finally reached the door and knocked.
"What do you want?" A gruff voice shouted from the other side.
"I wanted to borrow a broom!" Jake shouted back through the door.
The door swung open, revealing the school's custodian, Argus Filch, glaring at Jake. "So, you're the new guy at Hogwarts? Trying to make fun of me just because I can't vanish dust and dirt like the rest of you?"
"Not at all," Jake replied sincerely. "I actually believe being a janitor is an incredibly challenging job.
You have to deal with a lot of things that no one else really thinks about." Jake's words brought a small smile to Filch's face. "I'm seriously just here because I need a room, preferably one that doesn't fly."
Filch snorted, "Ain't none of the brooms in my closet gonna fly. I ain't got no use for 'em since I ain't got no magic."
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