A Murder Wizards Adventure

I got up early in the morning, I have no idea how Ruuku would act in the, ah, 'morning after' nor did I really want to deal with that, so I just got up with the sun, and have been sitting around a campfire cooking some meat with the other early risers.

Thankfully, since it's so early, conversation is basically non-existent, then the day begins, people rise, eat and get ready to continue looting.

My squad is uncomfortable, and I really wish I picked someone else, because Houki keeps looking smugly at a couple of the others, who in turn pout at me, and I just really wish they wouldn't.

Anyway, this is technically a good thing, since if you care for someone then you're much more likely to ignore any inconsistencies or negative traits, it's part of why some abuse victims don't just go away.

The day is much like the last, someone who's probably actually competent shouts at us all to get back too it, looking supremely annoyed while he did so, not that I can blame him, if he has to command these morons.

We do get back to searching, but again, like last time, no one finds anything.

These guys really underestimated the Uzumaki and their seals.

Hours pass and the day starts to wither away, so with nothing found, our superiors decide to give up and head home.

Which leads to this, five thousand Kiri-nin, staring down five thousand Kumo-nin.

I didn't really think about it because it wasn't mentioned in the source material, like so many things, but there's no way Kumo and Kiri didn't fight after Uzu.

I mean not only have we found nothing, and not wanting to return to 'our' Kage's empty handed our commanders are more than likely to just try and take whatever the other village found.

Plus, if we don't fight, then Kiri and Kumo should have a big advantage over the other three in terms of numbers once the war is over, since they 'aren't participating'.

Which lets me know that this stare down probably won't end peacefully, and knowing our rep, it will probably be us who attack first.

At least, since we're on the coast of an island, we should have the advantage, and water is one of my affinities.

Still, I've only managed to learn the hand seals for a couple of water Jutsu, so I'll have to fight mostly using my swords.

That's not too bad though, since I hardly use elemental jutsu anyway.

Wait, why am I thinking about fighting? can't I just run in the confusion?

Probably not actually, if the Kumo-nin see a Kiri-nin running away, they will assume that we did find something and I'm trying to run it home.

Damn.

Guess I'll fight then, I don't really have experience using dual blades, but how hard could it be? Just pretend they're two large kunai.

Besides, the guy I'm disguised as is at best a chunin, which makes me vastly stronger than him, my whirlpool technique has strengthened my body greatly, so I should be able to fake skill with power.

Though I can't move too fast, or fight too well, I've got to pretend to be a ninja reject that has no hopes of promotion.

Eventually the stand of is broken by the commanders of both sides, five each, approach each other in the middle of our two armies, and while I'd really love to eavesdrop on the conversation, I'm also towards the middle back of the army and can't risk exposure.

Not that it matters, as the conversation is quickly abandoned when the Kiri commanders suddenly attack the Kumo ones, killing two and injuring one.

After a very short pause where we all recognise what just happened, and suddenly everyone is shouting and charging into battle.

I stick with my squad, hoping I don't out myself, unfortunately my squad are stupid, so we end up charging straight into the thick of the fighting head on.

Like two waves, both armies crash into each other, Jutsu flying overhead as sparks spread down the line from the clashing of weapons, me and the others all have our swords drawn, and collide against the Kumo-nin as a part of the first wave, all of us with a smile on our lips.

Hey, just because I'm working doesn't mean I can't find fun where I can.

I clash with a nin who has drawn two kunai to counter my swords, but taking advantage of his arms being occupied, I kick him in the side of the knee, breaking it, and allowing me to swing one blade across his neck, decapitating him, while my other blade defends against another kunai from my right.

Facing the second enraged shinobi I almost miss the lightning infused blade coming from my left side, but if by instinct alone I matrix style dodge under that strike and follow with using the sword in my left hand to remove their arm.

Sliding a leg back for stability, I straighten myself and swing both my swords at once, my left taking the life of the injured shinobi, but my right just slides across his body armour.

Realising my mistake, I go back on the defensive, only for the one in my squad with the massive sword to appear and bisect the man I was facing.

We exchange a nod, and then focus back on the battle, using the momentary reprieve I coat my swords with water chakra, it may not be as sharp as wind, but it works like a saw and that's enough for body armour.

I jump back into the battle to the defence of some Kiri-nin who was being assaulted by multiple Kumo-nin, immediately I am surrounded, I might have gone past the line. Damn.

Ducking under a sword I spin with a leg out, only managing to trip one, as the others jumped or stepped back, before I can finish the one on the ground, I have to raise both my swords to defend from my back and left side.

Not wanting to miss the opportunity to lower their numbers, I stomp down on the head of the downed shinobi, and with a burst of chakra, his head pops like a grape.

This pisses off the people attacking me even more, but that's fine, that makes them predictable.

A kunai nearly takes my eye, as I move my head just enough to dodge it, all the while deflecting two people, one with each sword, as occupied as I am, another shinobi approaches from behind to finish me, but I donkey kick him before his kunai can hit its mark.

I also just realised that I need to be even more defensive, because while my henge will hold under blunt trauma, any deep cuts will dispel it.

That in mind, I stop going for kills, it's not like it matters anyway with how many there are, instead I play defensive, I see a few of my squad fall, but I don't care, it takes most of my focus to hold off three chunin at once, whilst holding back and trying to avoid any serious cuts.

The next hour or so followed much of the same rhythm, I focus on dodging and blocking, only attacking if I know I won't take damage from doing so, eventually a retreat is called by Kumo, understandably, since the sea by the coast has been coming to life to kill as many of them as possible.

We are ordered to hunt them down, but I only do so with half-hearted effort, until they are all on the sea, and it's mostly just the Hoshigaki chasing them now.

I pretend to be a lot more tired than I am, thankfully I only faced the chunin forces, so keeping uninjured was only mildly difficult, unfortunately I had to use one of my squad mates as a shield for a lightning jutsu, so sad.

Of the seven of us, only two are left, me included. The other guy doesn't seem too put out by the loss so I don't bother to pretend I care.

The most difficult part of this whole thing was probably keeping my river technique at chunin levels, and decreasing it manually through the battle to match what would be expected.

To anyone sensing me, my chakra should look no different to any exhausted chunin, of course, I can only pass a cursory examination of a sensor.

While yes, I can hide from sensors, but if one of them was face to face focusing on me, they would eventually figure it out.

Anyway, we gather the dead, from both sides, rest up for a couple of hours, then as it's starting to get dark, we're ordered to head home, I suppose we will make camp on the other coast, so we don't have to be sleeping around the stench of battle and death.

The travel across the sea isn't too long, though it felt like forever.

While I said I was only pretending to be exhausted, that was kind of a lie, I haven't slept in like thirty something hours, and even if they weren't a challenging fight, my stamina is still ass and I was fighting for an hour.

I suppose the adrenaline from the fight made me think I wasn't tired, but now I feel dead on my feet.

Which sucks even more, because I can't exactly get some sleep and escape in the morning, not only is it much harder to leave unnoticed during the day, but Kiri is close enough that it won't take too long to get there, oh yeah, and it's also an island.

The whole point of waiting this long is so that i can escape on the mainland, where there is cover to run and hide with.

Man, I want a nap.

We reach the shore and start setting up camp, I'm too tired to care much about my acting, I'm just sort of betting that being as tired as I am, no one will think anything of it.

Camp made, I'm getting myself ready to leave, I actually have a tent this time, since I set it up, when my last teammate approaches me, and in a really roundabout not quite asking kinda way, basically asks if he can sleep with me, along with some pejoratives while he was at it. So vulgar.

I really don't want to risk everything right now, so I just agree, and when the time comes for night night, I just stab him in the throat with a kunai and leave him on the bed roll. I don't bother inspecting the look of betrayal on his face, I'm far too tired to enjoy any sadism right now.

I wait a bit for the sound of the camp to die down, before slowly going full stealth.

I don't know how competent the sensors here are, but when I killed the guy, don't remember his name, I increased my own visible chakra as his dispersed, and I slowly went full stealth, because a chakra signature suddenly disappearing is probably for more noticeable.

Once my chakra is fully hidden, I eat two ration bars and drink some water and take a moment to just breathe.

Ok, I got this.

Slowly I leave the tent, and keeping to the shadows, make my way to the temporary earth walls, one more deep breath, and I'm over the walls, running as fast as I can without chakra.

Only the wall guard evidently saw me, because I hear shouts behind me, I don't look back, I just shunshin a large distance then start pumping chakra into my legs, it's slower but more chakra efficient than shunshin is.

I can practically 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 them catching up to me.

Damnit, they obviously don't care about conserving chakra.

But fine, my chakra stamina is probably better than my physical stamina right now anyway.

So with heavy eyelids and burning legs, I shunshin.

And shunshin.

Shunshin.

Shunshin.

𝘚𝘩𝘶𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘯, 𝘚𝘩𝘶𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘯, 𝘚𝘩𝘶𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘯.

My legs are on fire and my core hurts, my chakra is probably around one fifth and the enemy is still on my back, I managed to gain some distance, but I'm running out of steam here.

And I doubt they will fall for a clone.

Fuck I need to learn shadow clone, how did I forget about shadow clone?

This isn't the time to lament, but if I survive then I am definitely learning shadow clones first thing.

My opponents are nearly on me, and I can't keep running.

Fuck.

I guess there's nothing for it then. I have to make a stand.

But we are in Hi no Kuni's borders now, and there's no reason I shouldn't give myself every advantage I can, that thought in mind I mould my chakra, and launch a flare straight up into the night sky, the jutsu can't do any real damage, but it is cheap chakra wise, and very bright.

We we're all required to learn it, I'm glad that's the case.

I only hope someone makes it here before I die.

Gathering my ninja wire in my hands I prepare a little surprise.

Finding a nice spot, thick with trees, (I want to survive and buy time, a clearing would suck for that) I stop and turn around, almost falling of the branch from the sudden movement, in fact I probably would have if I hadn't already stuck my soles to the branch.

My chasers show themselves almost immediately, they don't stop to talk, guess they're ANBU then, and just rush straight for me, thankfully that results in the lead shinobi losing half of his head, my ninja wire cutting clean through his nose and removing most of his brain from the rest of his body.

The others pause and eye my small form, henge long dispelled, and the clearing looking for more traps.

There aren't any, but I'm still just buying time, so I make sure to show a smug, mocking posture, show strength where you are weak and all that.

Sadly, it only bought me a few moments before they finished scanning and realised the ruse and continued their charge of my esteemed self.

Fun fact, despite its awesomeness, the kawarimi jutsu is not very chakra intensive, neither is the henge, that's part of why they're taught at the academy.

And since I know I won't win a fight, and I'm just hoping for reinforcements to arrive, that means that before they even get close to me, I have already henged into a leaf and used kawarimi on one too.

The next however long is spent with me roleplaying nature and swapping with other leaves, unfortunately at least one of them is a good sensor, so it never takes them long to find me and after the first few swaps they've started using Jutsu, even fire jutsu despite being Kiri-nin.

But that's fine, it's just a bigger flare for my reinforcements.

Sadly, for me, despite their cheap chakra costs, I have to swap almost every half second, and am rapidly running out.

Right as I'm about to start complaining about the unfairness of life, Horse unexpectedly shows up, and punches a Kiri-ANBU so hard in the face that the guys' skull 𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥.

Following horse, the rest of his squad, as well as Mantis, Hound and another ANBU I don't recognise all show up.

I watch with relief as they proceed to murder the five ANBU that chased me for so long.

𝘢𝘩 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘵, 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘴𝘢𝘧𝘦𝘵𝘺.

Dispelling my henge, the world fades to black before I can give so much as a greeting.

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A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!

Safety! at last! time to go home! who is the mysterious ANBU?!? surely not someone plot relevant, right?!?!

anyway. I finally beat slay the spire with the silent, now i just need to do it with the defect and the monk bitch whatsherface.

When I post this in the morning If i remember im going to make a chapter comment on this line fyi.

https://ko-fi.com/bored_works