A Murder Wizards Adventure

As a sociopath, I don't really feel most things, anger, sadness, envy, hatred, love, even frustration really. People seem to have a misunderstanding about sociopaths, that we feel nothing at all, but that's stupid. If we felt 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨, then we would do 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨.

For example, when you're just standing around, that takes effort, not enough to even notice, but you have to tense your muscles to stand, now, the reason you don't just collapse in a boneless heap? because you 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 to not feel the pain of falling on the ground.

If I felt truly 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨, then I wouldn't have those same compunctions, to feel 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 is to be no different from someone who has experienced Brain Death.

Besides, the human brain isn't built to feel nothing, and so when you do feel nothing, your brain tries to grab onto whatever emotion is closest, because it wants to feel.

Picture a ball, and inside this ball is all of your feelings, emotions and desires, now as a sociopath, this ball is empty, but it isn't supposed to be empty, so the ball reaches out, where the emotions are, dancing around, just outside the border of the ball, and it grabs the closest thing it can, so that it's not so empty anymore.

All of this tends to lead to sociopaths being very singular, with only one desire or emotion, more or less. A lot of the time the desire is something like 'to be a good son/daughter' or 'to be successful'.

Cases like these, would be called a functioning sociopath, then there are the unfortunate cases, where that ball grabbed anger or cruelty first, and so they exist only desiring to cause suffering or to impotently rage, these are not functioning sociopaths.

I exist somewhere in the middle, I didn't get lucky and have a desire grabbed up by my brain, so I've never really felt much purpose in life, instead, I was one of the ones that were stuck with a singular emotion, luckily it was a rather sedate one.

Amusement.

That's all I'm really, 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘭𝘺 capable of feeling.

Honestly, it's a pretty nice life, I never feel 𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘻𝘪𝘯𝘨, but always at least feel 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥.

Now despite what i just said, we 𝘥𝘰 sometimes feel things other than whatever our brain touched first, but those are rarely true feelings, more like if the emotions brushed along the edges of this metaphorical ball, close enough to be felt, but too distant to be 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘰𝘥.

Now, you might be wondering why I'm being all philosophical.

Well, that is of course, because of the scene before me, a scene of death and despair, men and women alike openly weeping, yet even as they weep, they don't stop moving, don't stop working.

See, some time has passed.

In fact, more than a year. I'm eight now, a few weeks ago.

The past year and a bit has been a lot of the same, 'this front needs support' 'go help that battalion' etcetera, etcetera, a whole lot of fighting and a whole lot of killing.

I don't have any new techniques, never really having the time to learn them, but I am 𝘷𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘺 superior to how I was before, in a straight fight I'd have a decent chance against the average Jonin, in a dirty fight I'd probably win, and I rarely fight fair.

The only thing new is my Fuinjutsu, not that I'm a master by any means, but I can at least make my own explosive tags now, so I make sure me and my squad are always well supplied with them.

All of this however, is unimportant in the face of where I am right now.

Uzushiogakure.

Yesterday, a messenger came, saying Uzu has been attacked, and asking for reinforcements.

Purely by coincidence and surely nothing more, it was on the same day that Iwa and Suna both decided to launch an offensive, of course, only against Konoha, and not each other.

This led to our Shinobi being unable to help, but Konoha doesn't give up on her allies so easily, which is why 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘦 𝘈𝘕𝘉𝘜 with a speed designation of four or higher was ordered to get to Uzu as fast as possible and help. [See A/N for an explanation on ANBU designation]

Which made me rather glad that I was by Horse when the order was given, because we both have the appropriate designation, mine being four and his five, but he is also massive so he could carry me for the first leg of the journey so I can actually make it.

My endurance designation is only a two after all.

Still, when we actually made it, meeting up with a lot of other ANBU on the way, the fighting was already on pause, Uzu had lost the initial defence, and had retreated into the centre of their village. And it 𝘸𝘢𝘴 actually a village, unlike Konoha which is more of a city.

The total population before our arrival was probably only around 14 thousand. Now though, as we stand in the centre of the village, trying to plan what to do as our enemies of Kumo and Kiri, who were totally not planning on joining the war, prepared a final assault. The population is maybe 400 total.

So, suffice to say, the atmosphere is not very festive, which makes me stand out a little, since I'm literally incapable of caring. It might seem callous but baby I was born this way, it's not something I can change, and I'm at least polite enough to pretend I care.

Right now, I'm standing beside a big table with a map of Uzu on it, as some higher ranked ANBU and the leaders of Uzu argue about what to do, the patirach of the Uzumaki wants us all to just run away, and the ANBU with the most authority here, who happens to be Wolf, is trying and failing to explain to him that doing so would be mass suicide.

Everyone else around the table is arguing about a strategy where we don't all die. I'm also looking at the table, trying to figure something out, I don't particularly want to die anymore, this world and ninja stuff is just way too fun.

I thought about trying for a false surrender or something, before remembering that they are here to wipe the Uzumaki out, so that wouldn't work.

Obviously, we can't fight, there are about 10 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘥 enemy ninja, half Kumo and half Kiri.

I just had an amazing idea. Maybe.

Deciding it's better than the useless 'talks' happening right now, I ignore authority, more worried about the current situation than any punishment for insubordination, and I interrupt the bickering Uzumaki and Wolf.

"wolf-danchou."

Argument interrupted, both of the men who outrank me so much it's not even funny turn to look at me simultaneously.

"what is it, butterfly."

...Oh yeah, I got a proper face after one years' service, but playing on my being a kid and having pink hair they decided to call me butterfly. I would have been a little vexed but it 𝘪𝘴 pretty funny.

"i have a plan, but it's kind of a stupid plan."

"a stupid plan is better than what anybody else here has."

Even the Uzumaki is looking at me with some hope, that maybe there is some hair brained scheme that can save what is left of his people.

"Indeed, what is this plan of yours?"

So, with the attentive ears of everyone around me, I explain my plan, ask questions about what people can do, and explain how it could work, and why I think it could work, then the next half hour is spent with people who have much more experience planning things than me, refine my very basic plan, and continuing with what we do after the main bit that I came up with.

Then it was all about preparation.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The city of Uzu is silent as a grave, a fitting idiom, considering the mass grave the city has become.

The forces of Kiri and Kumo advance on two fronts, near each other, but not close enough they interfere with their temporary allies.

Ten thousand men cautiously moving forward, weary of any traps, and waiting for the inevitable final stand of the Uzumaki.

Only, it isn't the Uzumaki that they face, Instead, as they approach the centre of the city, every sensor present shivers simultaneously in disgust, quickly alarming and warning their allies that something was coming.

The giant army gets into their stances, preparing weapons and Jutsu and whatever defences they can manage, expecting to see what's left of the Uzumaki, throwing whatever trump cards they have at them.

Unfortunately, they are met with something far, 𝘧𝘢𝘳 worse.

The battlefield stills to an unplanned silence, as if the world itself recognising the catastrophe they are about to be borne witness to.

Then, with a roar, vile and 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘳𝘺, loud enough the closer Shinobi had to hold their ears in pain, a truly 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘴𝘶𝘴 being 𝘵𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 over the encroaching army.

Red, 𝘣𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘧𝘶𝘭 skin churning with pure 𝘱𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳.

Eyes containing such 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘥 no man could possibly hold.

Before them stood no army, no last stand of a dying clan.

No.

What stood before them was a monster.

A being of pure malice and power.

What stood before them, was the 𝘒𝘺𝘶𝘶𝘣𝘪.

And as if to mock their fear, the Kyuubi 𝘳𝘰𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘥.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

[Flashback to earlier]

"Indeed, what is this plan of yours?"

Looking at the Uzumaki, and realising everyone is paying attention to me, I raise my voice slightly, not enough to be loud, but enough to project.

"well, it's actually quite simple, distraction."

Everyone seems to have the wind taken out of their sails at my simple answer, and the patriarch doesn't even seem to have the energy to be upset.

"If only it were that simple, young ANBU-san, but I will not ask my people to die as bait, and even if I did, it would not work."

Before he can dismiss me to go back to arguing with Wolf, I speak again, projecting my voice still.

"with respect, Uzumaki-sama, but i think you're thinking too small, say, what do you know about psychology?"

The Uzumaki's attention is grabbed, but he looks really taken of balance by the abrupt change in conversation, but he's desperate enough to go along with it, while Wolf just watches silently.

"Enough to get by, but I'm no specialist, why?"

"well, what happens when a large group is met with a formidable opponent, one which they know they cannot defeat, no matter how hard they try?"

Not giving him a chance to respond, and with the attention of everyone on me, I continue talking.

"they give up, try to run away, they lose hope, and a group without hope can accomplish nothing."

The Uzumaki around get angry at what was basically me telling them they've given up and ridiculing them for it, but I keep talking before any of them get to say anything.

"so tell me, Uzumaki-sama, what is an infallible opponent, that anyone would give up upon facing? so sure of their deaths that they don't even try to fight, so caught up in their primal instinct that they can't help but flee?"

The small clearing is silent for a moment, everyone wondering where I was going with this, but I wanted to be dramatic, so I stayed silent, waiting for someone to rise to the bait.

Eventually some Uzumaki to the side couldn't take it and spoke up.

"What? What are you talking about?"

Thank you, kind stranger.

"why, of course, i am talking about nothing but the greatly lauded Biju."

"What do those chakra monsters have to do with anything?!?"

Is this guy a paid actor? Asking all the right questions.

"obviously, everybody knows that the greatest of the biju is the nine-tails, and tell me, who is the nine-tails sealed inside of?"

My rhetoric question is thankfully answered by the same guy, seriously I should give this guy a medal.

"What does Mito-sama have to do with this? She's not here, she's in Konoha."

"indeed, indeed, she is, however, she is an uzumaki, is she not?

I get a series of nods before continuing.

"and as an uzumaki, she would want to protect her people, would she not?

More nods, along with some confusion, and some people looking around, apparently thinking Mito was here.

"most importantly, the enemy does not know that mito-sama is not here, they will assume as much, but it wouldn't be too hard to believe she came to defend her homeland, would it?"

Now they just look confused mostly, though I think I can see realisation dawning on some people's faces, as they come to understand what I'm planning exactly.

Quietly, almost reverently the Uzumaki patriarch whispers,

"What exactly, is your plan?"

Turning with a smile no one can see.

"we make our own kyuubi, out of genjutsu and seals, when the enemy sees it, they will be able to rationalise it's presence, 'of course mito-sama would come to the defence of her people' they will think, then they will panic. they wont be able to help it. it 𝘪𝘴 the kyuubi after all, then we use that as a distraction and run. simple right?"

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A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!

So! time skip!, I really want to be an adult, but there is a bit i want to get done in the second war, so im going to be time skipping to the important parts.

For the ANBU, since they dont really have a hierarchy, instead i have it so ANBU will assign people with 'traits' so to speak. then when a mission comes up, it will have rankings for what will be needed, and they will pick ANBU with the appropriate 'trait' to assign the mission.

Speed ranks are 0-5, 4 is above average and 5 is minato 3 is jonin and any less is too weak to matter

there are other traits but it can be literally anything so i wont go into detail here.

https://ko-fi.com/bored_works