A Murder Wizards Adventure

When Asuma-sensei said we would be doing joint training today I felt about the same as I have always felt about most things really.

It's all such a drag.

You know the problem with being as smart as I am?

Because the more intelligent you are, the easier it is to see how nothing matters and we have no purpose.

That's not to say life can not have no meaning, simply that life does not have meanings simply by being. We have to give it meaning.

Which is why most things are just a drag. They are pointless and I don't really care about them, but they also help give life meaning.

And frankly, an annoying life in which we can at least pretend we have purpose is more pleasant to live than one in which you acknowledge and accept that we are bereft of true purpose.

However, when Asuma-sensei said that we would be doing the training with team Hanari?

Then I became interested.

How could I not be?

Hanari, the youngest S-class produced from our village, rival of Itachi Uchiha and daughter of the Bloody Wraith Hanabira and the Sannin Tsunade, wielder of the Legendary kekkei genkai of the First Hokage himself, Wood release.

She has a truly impressive resume and pretty much everyone knows that the moment she decides she wants to be Hokage that she will be.

Hell, the only reason she hasn't been basically forced into being Hokage is because she is one of three S-class Ninja in the village and one of the other two is her mother, so no one can really force her to do anything.

So of course I would be interested in seeing her, not to mention her team.

Not to say that I don't already know her team.

Kiba Inuzuka, Hinata Hyuuga and Shino Aburame.

I remember them all from the academy, but it's not like I was close with any of them.

Then again, I am very intelligent. Not bragging, it's just a fact. I can already beat the old man in shogi after all.

The team is pretty basic psychologically, all things considered.

Shino is the easiest and the hardest. Reserved and quiet, he likes to keep to himself so much that he constantly wears clothes that cover half his face paired with sunglasses.

He is easy because he is simple, but at the same time it means I don't know anything personal about him, as is typical for people who don't show much emotion.

The other two are much easier, being terrible at hiding their emotions.

Hinata is shy and nervous and has a generally terrible amount of self confidence, not to mention she seems to be rather smitten with Naruto of all people.

Not that I have anything against the guy, he's pretty easy to get along with, but he is a little dumb, and definitely not the kind of person you would expect to be able to attract girls, at least not in the way he attracts Hinata.

I'm sure plenty of girls would fall for his simple genuineness. Especially if they aren't stupid enough to believe he is the avatar of the Kyuubi or something.

Like, really? The concept of Jinchurriki isn't exactly a foreign one, hell, the wife of the founder of this village, Mito Uzumaki herself, much beloved by the village, was famous for being the Jinchurriki of the Kyuubi.

Yet people can actually be stupid enough to call Naruto a monster for that exact reason? Do they even realise that they are indirectly calling Mito Uzumaki a monster?

I'm pretty sure that it's some plot by the Hokage or some other high up person to manipulate Naruto somehow.

Which is part of why I made sure to always be nice to him. Partly because it's simply the right thing to do and partly because if he ever goes into a murder rage, he will be more likely to spare me.

Anyway, she is clearly in love with him but too shy to do anything about it, blushing far more than is necessary whenever he is brought up, and he is too dense to realise that she might even like him, too busy chasing an abusive relationship with Sakura.

Sometimes the way the two of them act freaks me out a little. It's like they are performing for an audience with how over the top they get sometimes, but only sometimes, like a camera is on them or something.

Then there's Kiba. He is like all Inuzuka in that they tend to have animalistic mindsets. I don't say that to be insulting either, it's simply true and they will all agree if you ask them.

So Kiba cares about 'social hierarchies', even if he is terrible at climbing them himself and he gets incredibly defensive if someone insults him, taking it as a direct challenge.

Oh, and he's also in love with Hinata who has never shown even the slightest interest in anyone who isn't Naruto.

Which goes to explain why Kiba and Naruto seem to fight so much.

I wonder if that attitude will last?

Everyone knows that Hanari has a soft spot for Naruto, same as Sasuke.

There are plenty of rumours as to why, but since it's not like they actually interact much, so it's clearly not some deep personal connection, the most accepted idea is that she knows them as friends or family of her own friends or family.

Another reason this is the accepted theory is because everyone knows how Hanari and Itachi were best friends and rivals before he killed his clan and went missing-nin, so she probably only looks out for Sasuke every now and then because of Itachi.

The evidence in it's favour is why I also believe this theory, in fact, the only reason I say it's a theory is because she hasn't confirmed it herself.

Not that she is reticent, it's just that no one has asked.

The only real question is how does she know Naruto?

I mean, I know the answer, since I am smart, as I said, but the general question is 'who were Naruto's parents?', since he is an orphan the assumption is that Hanari knew his parents somehow.

Personally, I really don't understand how everyone hasn't figured out that his dad was the Fourth.

Literally every day we all see his face carved into a mountain, and Naruto is almost a perfect replica of the Fourth, only missing the side bangs.

There is also the fact that Naruto just so happened to be born the same day that the Fourth died.

But anyway, none of that is really important as we are about to meet the group in question.

And what an entrance they make.

We were waiting for them in an open clearing in training ground 4 when we started to hear shouting and screaming.

Not a minute later and we bare witness to the three Genin of team Hanari running for their lives from some freakish, spikey wooden monstrosity that is chasing after them with spikes of wood constantly piercing towards the Genin.

Spikes that are then used as legs to pull the monstrosity forward.

In no time they are in front of us and the wooden ball of spikey tentacle death finally stops terrorising the world with it's presence and falls apart into a few trees that seamlessly blend in with the surroundings as if they had grown there in the first place.

After which, out walks Hanari herself pink hair like Sakura which makes sense since they're cousins, only her hair is much longer in a pony tail that goes down to her lower back.

She has a pair of close toed boots and stockings that lead up to a short skirt. Above which she wears a pink crop top that shows off her well defined stomach as well as the tattoo of a butterfly that she has to the left of her abs.

Over all of this is a long black, cotton jacket, it probably has a proper name but eh, it's worn open over her shirt so it's a jacket.

She also has a mask strapped to her belt that looks like what ANBU wear, but I'm pretty sure she isn't in ANBU.

There's something else as well, I'm not sure what it is but I am feeling strangely attracted to her.

Not idolisation nor anything romantic, just this weird sort of attraction. I think it might be sexual in nature but I am also thirteen and I understand that I am experiencing new things.

Just because I am the one going through it doesn't mean I don't know about puberty, and the old man made sure to give me a proper talk about what to expect so I don't do anything stupid or regrettable.

So I push those thoughts away and ignore the way my eyes keep getting drawn to her as I do my best to focus on the situation at hand, or the clouds if that fails.

"Hello!~ Team Asuma! I am Hanari and these are my lovely little Genin, Hinata Hyuuga, Kiba Inuzuka and Shino Aburame! It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

What a drag, it seems she's really the energetic and cheerful type, how annoying.

Asuma-sensei saves us the trouble by introducing us himself.

"It's nice to finally meet your brats Hanari-san, as you know, these are my brats, Shikamaru Nara, Choji Akimichi and Ino Yamanaka. So, what did you have in mind?"

This is something I also want to know, mainly to know if it's going to be a drag or not, which by her grin I get the feeling it will be.

"Well a spar of course! Nothing like a friendly fistfight to get to know someone!" Hanari exclaims, somehow sounding even more cheerful.

Though, I am curious. Every Hokage has had students that have become legends in their own right, the Second Hokage taught Hiruzen, who taught the Sannin, one of which taught the Fourth, who himself taught Kakashi of the Sharingan who is now teaching the 'last Uchiha'.

Point is, that since Hanari is basically recognised as the next Hokage, when she finally accepts the job at least, then if the pattern follows her team should end up something impressive, or at least one of them should.

My bet is on Hinata, if only because she has the unfair advantage of the Byakugan.

The next few hours sucked for me, as it turns out that team Hanari was exactly in line with my expectations, which is to say they kicked our asses. Repeatedly.

"Real sorry about all that, Sensei's training is torturous and it sucks, but damn if it doesn't produce results right?" Kiba says to me as he helps me up, having just kicked me down.

I think a rib may be broken because I don't think standing up is supposed to hurt this much.

"Oh shit, you good? Don't worry, Sensei is a great medic, she'll fix you up no prob. Hell, it's only a broken rib or two so it probably won't even take a few seconds." He continues after seeing my wince.

But seriously, what kind of training does she put them through that he is so used to the idea of fixing broken bones from a training exercise?

"You find yourself needing bones to be repaired often?" I say, going for a joke.

Unfortunately it doesn't land and instead Kiba starts to stare off into nothing with a far off look on his face, even going so far as to shiver lightly.

Yeah.. I ain't touching that.

I just stay silent for the rest of the short walk back to the clearing which now sports Asuma in a comfy looking chair of wood with the rest of my fellow victims of training sprawled out in front of him.

Meanwhile, to his side is Hanari, who has made a giant wooden throne that must be at least several buildings tall and far too elaborate for the amount of time since I last saw the clearing.

She notices me staring and smirks as she speaks up, drawing the attention of those who lay on the ground.

"Finally back huh? Do you like the view? I'd say I'm flattered but frankly I'm not into little boys, maybe when your older eh? Now come over here you two so I can fix you up."

Kiba doesn't even flinch at his Sensei's teasing words so I guess this is just what she's like.

*Sigh*

What a drag.

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A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!

hehe have you ever heard of this thing called 'genetic attraction'? If not, google it :)

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