A Depressed Kendo Player Possesses a Reckless Aristocrat

Three Years of Loss

And so the carriage took to the road, and after ten days had passed.

I arrived at the Pyler ducal mansion.

Except for the occasional stop at an inn to rest, we’d really kept moving, and because of that, I arrived five days ahead of schedule.

-Thud…

Calm steps meet the ground.

Before me stood the grand front gate of the mansion.

Apparently a prominent family in the Empire, the Pyler family’s mansion boasted a magnificence that was just as exceptional as the Richet family’s.

I stared at it with dry eyes.

‘……It’s been a while.’

Having visited many times since I was little, I didn’t feel particularly astonished.

Just a slight stirring of nostalgia.

Before I embarked down the path of debauchery, I’d frequented this place often.

It was to meet Maharet, who’d send letters every time saying she missed me.

A truly innocent time.

Of course, after the engagement was broken off, I hadn’t set foot here even once, so my memories of this place had stopped three years ago.

‘There was definitely a cherry blossom tree over there…’

It must have been cut down because it didn’t fit the garden’s aesthetic.

That wasn’t the only thing that had changed.

The flower garden, which had been full of forget-me-nots when I last saw it, now swayed with countless winter sweet flowers to greet the season, and.

There were a few new sculptures that I’d never seen before.

Just thought it was only three years.

It seemed that was enough time to make me feel distant from this place.

‘Feels a little strange.’

I smacked my lips with a pointless bitter taste.

The awkwardness I felt now was like a perfect echo of the three lost years.

I clutched at my heart, which was throbbing.

“……I really came.”

Ironically, it was only then that it hit me.

The fact that I was at the Fyler Duchy.

As I stood there, dumbfounded, taking in the surroundings, a voice reached my ears before long.

“Young Master Lichtt.”

A deep voice brushed past my ear, and I turned my head.

The first thing that caught my eye was the dazzling silver hair. Following that, red eyes entered my sight.

A middle-aged man with the same color as Mahaeret.

He was a little on the small side, but.

He was brimming with a presence that was impossible to ignore.

I immediately recognized the man’s identity and bowed respectfully towards his approaching steps.

“I greet the Shield of the Empire.”

One of the three families that protect the Empire.

Sword, Shield, Wing.

Among them, the current head of the Fylers who leads the Shield, Raymond Fyler.

The Duke had come out to greet me.

“It must have been a long journey, was it not uncomfortable?”

“It was fine.”

“To respond to the summons so promptly, I don’t know how to express my gratitude.”

Raymond said, patting me on the shoulder.

His voice seemed devoid of emotion at first glance, but I noticed a faint relief within it.

He wasn’t originally the kind of person who would reveal his emotions so casually.

Had he gotten frail in those three years?

Or was it that he was prioritizing the fact that his daughter was sick for now?

“Let’s get inside. You must be exhausted from the long carriage ride, wouldn’t you say it’s time to shake off the fatigue?”

“Yes, Your Excellency.”

Raymond gestures as if to say ‘follow me.’

I quietly trailed behind the Duke.

Shaking off a slight nostalgia that stirred complex emotions, I exhaled a frosty breath.

*

Meanwhile, a room draped in pitch black.

The windows, drawn shut with curtains to keep out even a sliver of sunlight, were filled with the biting chill of winter.

It was a space devoid of even the slightest light.

In the midst of a backdrop that seemed to have lost all vitality, a girl lay in bed.

“……”

The girl, holding death-like silence in her mouth.

Her silver hair slid down following the faint breaths she took.

Her red eyes were unfocused.

She looked gaunt.

The girl was withering like cherry blossoms in April.

Her vacant gaze followed nothing but empty space.

“My lady.”

Someone calls out to the girl.

It was her personal maid.

The maid cautiously opened the door and entered, then slowly approached the girl.

And then, she quietly delivered the news.

“Just now, Duke Lisicht arrived at the manor.”

The girl shuddered, her shoulders twitching.

A moment ago, her body, as still as a corpse, had moved.

“Really… that person came?”

Her voice held a tremor.

The girl stammered out the question with a heavily hoarse voice.

“Really… Is it really…?”

“It’s true, my lady. So please, gather your strength now. You have to meet the Duke, wouldn’t you?”

The handmaiden seemed to choke back a sob at the pathetic sight.

She wiped the gathering moisture from her eyes and held the girl’s hand tightly.

It was as cold as ice.

The girl’s warmth had long since been frozen by the breath of winter.

“Lord Lisit will be joining dinner in a few hours. You must attend, my lady. The Lord has come to see you, I’m sure.”

“To see me…?”

The girl, as if bewitched, raised her upper body.

The instant she carelessly tried to throw aside the blanket that had been isolating her…

-You’re the worst one here.

The quiet hallucination awakened again.

The single sentence, arriving before she could even react, pierced the girl’s heart like a sharp thorn.

Her breath caught in her throat.

The girl gasped, as if spitting out blood.

Even when she belatedly tried to clear her head, the scenes flickering in her vision only grew clearer.

-I… really can’t do this anymore…

-I want to end it all.

Empty, black eyes stared at the girl.

It was resignation.

The result of the girl’s near-obsessive fixation.

Before her trembling red eyes sat a black-haired boy, his will to live abandoned.

“… What face could I possibly show?”

The girl buried her face in the pillow once more.

“What face could I possibly show him.”

“My lady…”

“Tell my father I won’t be attending the meal.”

The girl abruptly ended the conversation and dismissed the handmaiden from the room.

Again, only silence remained around her.

In a background painted with the color of regret, the girl pulled the blanket over her head.

A chill strangled her.

As if drowning in the frigid winter, Mahaaret lowered her eyelids.

*

Having changed into comfortable clothes in the guest room,

I immediately headed to meet Raymond.

The timing was also approaching dinner, so we decided to have the evening meal together.

“Welcome.”

“Welcome, Prince Lisette.”

Stepping into the dining room, I was greeted by the Duke and Duchess.

I bowed lightly in acknowledgement.

While taking my seat, I quickly scanned the table, but there was no one else besides the ducal couple.

‘Maharet… isn’t she coming?’

I’d wanted to talk as soon as possible.

I mulled over my somber thoughts.

As I held onto that fleeting regret, a voice suddenly jolted me from my thoughts.

“Let’s begin the feast. It’s not much, but eat your fill.”

“Yes, Your Grace.”

Of course, the statement that there wasn’t much was a lie.

The wide table was filled with food.

It was far too much for just three people.

Even the menus were all things that matched my preferences.

As if the chef remembered my taste, even the seasoning felt perfect.

‘……Why do I keep thinking about the past?’

What am I going to do if I’m already faltering like this?

I forced a self-deprecating smile inwardly, patting my weak self on the back.

“By the way, Prince Lisette,”

“Yes, Your Grace.”

“I heard you achieved impressive results at the academy this semester. It seems like you’ve finally come to your senses a little bit……”

The feast continued like that.

It was ordinary.

There weren’t any particularly serious topics discussed.

As if they were watching my mood, the ducal couple was careful not to touch upon any sensitive subjects for me.

I didn’t push to dig deeper, either.

I just pieced together the situation through the bits of information that trickled in.

‘So, to recap the details so far…’

Fortunately, Maharet was improving.

At first, she’d be nauseous just being near food, couldn’t sleep until dawn, and acted as if she’d become a shell.

But it seemed like she was getting better.

She was eating, little by little, and managing to sleep, too.

When I first received the letter, I worried that Maharet might already be broken beyond repair.

Hearing that she was showing improvement was a relief.

Even if our conversation doesn’t go well.

Even if, in the end, we end up cutting ties.

It wasn’t like I wanted Maharet to fall that far into the abyss.

‘……For now, it’s late, so would it be better to visit her as soon as the sun rises tomorrow?’

Maharet didn’t show up to the dinner banquet because she was ill.

But I’m not an idiot.

I could tell she’d made an excuse because she didn’t want to face me.

She’s probably burdened by guilt.

When I hung myself.

Maharet was one of the kids who witnessed that horrific scene up close.

A bitter laugh escaped me.

In the end, I could only get lost in random thoughts until the banquet was over.

.

.

.

The glorious sun fell beyond the horizon.

Time passed, and it was dawn, with not even a trace of its reddish afterglow left.

It was a night with a cold winter wind.

I stood on the large terrace on the second floor of the duke’s residence, gazing up at the sky.

A quiet chill brushed my cheek.

Breathing in the wavering scent of the season, I remained still for a while.

“……That feeling of fatigue washing away.”

This was a newfound pleasure these days.

Basking in the night air.

Though Rachel hated it, saying I’d catch a cold in this chilly weather.

Even so, I loved this time.

When I’m counting stars in the pre-dawn hours like this.

Somewhere among the fragments that graze my eyes, I felt like my mother’s star might be nestled too.

I sought you in the dark night sky.

That’s why I loved this time.

“……”

Lost in a bit of reminiscence, patiently waiting,

“For a young man to be indulging in such contemplation already… how pitiful.”

A deep, resonant voice reached my ears.

Turning my head, I saw Raymon walking towards me.

He slowly came closer and stood beside me.

“I didn’t know Your Excellency also favored this terrace.”

“I simply came to check on you, as you weren’t in your room. You… You haven’t changed even after three years.”

“How could affection possibly change in just three years?”

This terrace’s scenery was a place where much affection remained.

Since childhood, it was a spot where Maharet and I had woven so many memories together.

It felt like our own secret hideout.

Now, it’s a faded memory, but,

it’s a space where a tender longing can’t help but reside in a corner of my heart.

“Many parts of the mansion have changed… but this terrace, it hasn’t.”

“Of course not. That child wished it to remain so.”

That child he spoke of, it must surely be Maharet.

Why did she want this place to remain unchanged?

I didn’t ask the reason.

I simply returned my gaze to the familiar scenery.

“Heard there was a big falling out this time… That Steiner fellow sent a letter.”

“You heard.”

“That he nearly took his own life.”

“……Yes.”

“Was it really because of that child?”

“I cannot say it wasn’t.”

To be precise, several factors collided at a bad time.

Maharet was definitely one of them.

“I see…”

Raymond let out a complicated murmur at the firm answer.

He seemed lost in thought for a moment, then shook his head not long after.

“This is something for you and that child to sort out… I won’t meddle with my words.”

“I appreciate your consideration.”

“Honestly… I already heard the news, but it’s still hard to adjust to seeing you back to your old, sharp self.”

“I understand.”

Even our family’s servants still find me difficult to deal with.

There’s no way you, an outsider, would be any different.

I shrugged, meaning I didn’t mind, and leaned my arms on the terrace railing.

A short, quiet dawn followed.

Once again, it was Raymond who broke the silence.

“Lord Lisicht.”

“Yes, Your Grace.”

“Do you resent me?”

“How could you say such a thing.”

“You and Maharet…things could have been better, perhaps.”

The Duke stared at me with his characteristic blank expression.

“If it weren’t for me, maybe neither of you would have been hurt.”

“Your Grace…”

I clenched my fist tight.

My mouth felt bitter.

Raymon was taking all the blame for what happened back then, but no matter what anyone said, it was my sin.

“Maharet… we gave that child, such a terrible wound.”

This was an old story.

To be exact, it was a story about the ‘deal’ Raymon and I made three years ago.