Zafira Moonchild

That night, Big Blue is lighting up the sky, and I decide that it’s time. I sneak away from our campsite when Kathy sleeps. Once I’m far enough, I take little blue in my hands. I hope last week’s silence wasn’t because she learned I’m an infernal. But if it was, so be it.

“Good evening Blue,” I say. “It’s been a while since we talked. Thank you for giving me some space last week. I needed it. Do you have time for me now?” I hold my breath, waiting for a sign. It doesn’t take long, but it still feels like an eternity before I feel her approval. I do my best to hold back tears of joy as a weight on my heart lifts. “Is it true what Kathy said? Am I an infernal? And do all divines hate infernals? Do you hate me now?”

“Silly little witch,” I hear her voice inside my head, “You’re nothing like an infernal in any way that matters.” I cry, as she continues: “You don’t prey on the weak. You’re not driven by insatiable greed. You don’t enjoy causing harm and misery.” She pauses a bit before continuing. “I think the description kind infernal fits you very well. Because for as much as you are like them, the parts where you are different are all that matter. And the very concept of kindness goes against everything infernals are hated for. You might as well be called a not-infernal.”

“Now, for your second question, that’s more complicated. All divines are different, and I won’t speak for them. But I do not hate monsters. They are part of the cycle of life. Long lives are a good thing. It allows souls to accumulate experiences and grow. But I do not value individual lives as you mortals do. Does that answer your question?”

“It does.” I reply, “You see millions come and go. Their lifespans are tiny compared to yours. So it doesn’t feel like a big difference if they live 50 or 100 years. They all die quickly anyway, and you move on. But that doesn’t mean you don’t like them when they are around.”

Little Blue chuckles, “Interesting. Mortals usually feel offended or get angry when reminded of how little they matter in the grand scheme of things.”

I shrug. “A mortal’s life is all I’ve ever known, and I plan to enjoy it to the fullest. No use getting caught up in what I don’t have. Compared to a fruit-fly, I’m an ancient being with unimaginable powers.” I feel her approval and thank her for answering my questions. My eyes feel heavy now that anxiety is not keeping me awake anymore. So I say goodbye and return to the camp.

During the week we spend traveling to Elkhorn, Kathy shows she has taken my advice to heart. And works on being less condescending. Bringing her down to the level of a snobbish noble. Which matches perfectly with how she plans to present herself. I do my best to compliment her and validate her efforts. And while she ignores my comments, I feel she appreciates them. Thank divinity for my sharpened intuition and empathy. I never would have figured that out in my old world. She also makes good progress in listening to the world around her. Her experience with it is both a boon and a plague. She learns how to interpret the signs fast. But keeping quiet is an impossible challenge. Luckily, the spirits don’t notice her when she talks to them. I hope she learns enough humility before they do. But that is out of my hands. Because we have arrived at the village of Elkhorn, and it is time for our roads to part.

I want to drop off our goods quickly at a trader and rush to see my parents. However, Kathy insists we do it properly. And make sure we get the best price. When I see the fire in her eyes, I decide to give in and propose she handles it, as I’m not good at bartering. She perks up and immediatly takes the lead. When I remind her not to threaten the merchants, she doesn’t give her usual snarky reply, but smiles instead: “It’s normal for nobles to push around merchants.”.

“You have a point,” I say, “but I would rather not be associated with that in my hometown. So can we pretend I’m only helping you carry your things? And you give me half of the money afterwards”. Kathy looks confused, but agrees to my request. She doesn’t understand why anyone would dislike being associated with a noble house. And I don’t have the energy and patience to explain it to her right now.

Despite my worries, Kathy is quite proficient at getting money from the merchant’s pockets. She visits them all before deciding where to sell. And she gets much more than I had thought possible in the end. I feel bad for the poor merchant. He looks like he took an enormous loss. But Kathy laughs when I tell her afterwards. “They always do,” she tells me, “that’s how you know you’ve made a good deal. If it would be a poor deal for them, they wouldn’t buy it. Your bleeding heart will make you miss out on a lot of wealth.”

I wave her comment away, and we say our goodbyes. My time with Kathy was interesting, to say the least. But I’m glad to part ways at last and return to my family. Explaining my disappearance in every shop got boring quickly. As heartwarming as their joy to see me alive was. The comments on my choice of clothing were not. I considered buying clothes Carnelia would have worn before returning home. However, even though I have her memories, I’m not Carnelia. And while I don’t plan to advertise that, I don’t intend to hide it completely either. My parents deserve to know the truth. But everyone else, including my little brother, doesn’t need to know the full story. The shopkeepers got a brief version for now. “A lot of things happened after I got lost in the woods. I met this noble lady along the way, and we made our way back here together.” When they pressed me for more information, I told them I wanted to go home first, after I made good on my promise to escort the noble.

Now, that time has come. I can see our farm, but stop for a minute. And take the time to settle my emotions. It’s been more than a month since I arrived in this world. Carnelia’s parents have heard no news from her for even longer. My stomach hurts and my shoulders stiffen. I’m tempted to turn around and walk away. Will they accept what their daughter has become, or would they be happier thinking she died? Instead of losing her soul. To hide the truth from Timothy, I will start with the lie I prepared for everyone else in town. But when he’s asleep … Yeah, I’m not looking forward to that conversation. I ball my fists and prepare myself for the worst. Being turned away from my home and chased out of the village. While hoping for the best, being accepted as an addition to their family.