Chapter 106 - It Started With Pengornises, And It Also Ends With Pengornises (End)
Chapter 106 — It Started With Pengornises, And It Also Ends With Pengornises (End)
Edited by DancingDolphinsYo
After returning to the capital, Lu Zezhi did not spend his days with much content. No matter what the rumours were saying outside, ever since he returned to the Lord Protector’s estate, he almost never saw Guan Shanjin around.
The Lord Protector’s wife came from the same hometown as him, and because of the recommendation from the Lord Protector’s wife in the past, he had been able to become Guan Shanjin’s teacher. Still, years passed, and the two men had been apart. After they came back together, the Lord Protector’s wife never again concealed her dislike towards him.
Before Wu Xingzi appeared, the Lord Protector’s wife doted on her son and so she closed an eye to his existence. Once Wu Xingzi, this old fellow, appeared, the Lord Protector’s wife could no longer even be bothered to continue maintaining a perfunctory courtesy towards him.
Although Lu Zezhi had been so sheltered by Guan Shanjin to the point where he had become useless, his brain not working very well, and his character becoming like a parasite, he was still not a fool. How could he not sense the awkwardness of his own position?
He had originally been waiting, waiting for Guan Shanjin to return to him again. Lu Zezhi did not believe that the feelings of a dozen years could not compare to the one-year affection one had for a newcomer.
Guan Shanjin was attached to him, this was how Lu Zezhi always convinced himself.
However, what was the conclusion of his wait? He was not the slightest bit concerned when Bai Shaochang moved into the Lord Protector’s estate, as he understood that that was part of a scheme, and he even prodded it along.
However, his original intention was not to harm Guan Shanjin at all. After all, the doting and pampering he would be receiving in the next half of his life had everything to do with this man. There was no way for him to return to his hometown to become a teacher there, as that was something Lu Zezhi was completely unwilling to do.
He had only wanted to pull Guan Shanjin back to his side. Although his means were rather underhanded, it was fine as long as he got what he wanted.
As expected, Bai Shaochang caused Guan Shanjin to be locked up in jail, and the Lord Protector’s estate was thrown into a storm. Wu Xingzi had pretty much vanished into thin air as well, and Lu Zezhi wondered if he had fled back to Qingcheng County. Finally, he had managed to clear away all the people hanging around Guan Shanjin. Haiwang was a child who had grown up under his eye, so how could Lu Zezhi not know what sort of character he had? He was cold and heartless, extremely clear about the things he loved and hated, decisive and resolute. Whoever crossed him would receive a thousand-fold revenge in return. Once he decided on hating something, never in this life would he again turn back to it.
Having ran away once, Wu Xingzi had already aroused Guan Shanjin’s hatred towards him. This time round, that older man had even chosen to cling onto someone else, and when the Lord Protector’s estate was facing such danger, he did not appear and do or say anything about it. Could Guan Shanjin still love him, and still dote on him?
As such, Lu Zezhi hid within the Lord Protector’s estate, waiting, feeling completely at ease. Man Yue did not allow him to visit Guan Shanjin in jail, saying that it was the instructions of the General, as that sort of place was filthy and gruesome, and he did not want to contaminate Mr. Lu’s eyes.
Lu Zezhi knew, Haiwang always doted on him.
However, he waited and waited, and months had passed. Snow was falling in the capital, Bai Shaochang had already been kicked out of the Lord Protector’s estate, Guan Shanjin had taken back his original titles, and news of Yan Wenxin’s betrayal had spread throughout the country. Even though he was tucked away in that little yard of his, Lu Zezhi already knew of all these ongoings, and yet, no matter how long he waited, he still did not see that man he had been constantly thinking of.
Today, when Lu Zezhi woke up, the ground was covered in white. It had snowed last night, and a thick layer of snow had gathered in his yard. The furnace was burning, causing the room to be as warm as spring in March. Pulling a robe over himself, he walked to the window, pushing it open and looking outside. The snow on the ground was untouched, looking extremely clean, and there was not a single footstep to be found at all.
He was clearly living in the capital, living in the Lord Protector’s estate, the most powerful ministerial family in Great Xia. Only the Emperor stood above them, and there was pretty much no one who could match them in status. However, Lu Zezhi discovered that it was as though he had been forgotten by everyone, and he was like an island surrounded by emptiness. There was no one concerned about him, no one asking after him…
“Someone, come here!” Lu Zezhi gripped his hands. It was clearly so warm that a layer of sweat had formed on the back of his neck, but there was a chill in his body, even right in his bones.
After a pause, there was no response. He raised his voice, shouting again, “Quick, someone get in here!”
This time, there finally was someone who came running from afar.
It was only right then that Lu Zezhi realised in alarm that he no longer had any so-called personal attendants next to him!
The person coming over was a maidservant, her expression aloof as she panted slightly. It seemed like she had needed to run quite a fair distance before she could hurry over, and in the winter, her temples were beaded with sweat.
The maidservant wiped her sweat away, bowing respectfully. “Mr. Lu, do you have any instructions for me?”
“Ask Haiwang to come see me.” Lu Zezhi could no longer put on his haughty and aloof attitude. Right now, he was very panicky, so much so that he no longer spoke carefully.
The maidservant frowned slightly, but her tone still remained aloof. “Mr. Lu, it’s not that this servant is not passing the message on for you, but that the General is not someone any random person can easily see.”
“Am I just any random person? Go, go call Haiwang here. As they say, being a teacher for a day, they’ll be a father figure for life. What excuses does he have not to see me?” Lu Zezhi had done so much, and waited so long, so how could he tolerate Guan Shanjin distancing himself from him?
The maidservant did not expect that Lu Zezhi would say something like this, and she raised her head in astonishment, casting him a side-eye. “Alright, this servant will pass on the message to the steward on your behalf.”
“There’s no need to go through the steward. Is there a need for the steward to pass the message on if I want to see Haiwang? Just go and get him here!” Previously, when in Bastion City, any of the servants around him would be able to pass a message directly to Guan Shanjin. Who could stop them? Lu Zezhi completely did not believe that things now were different from before. Haiwang had personally taken him away from the wedding hall, so, how could he not like him?
The maidservant did not waste any more time talking. She too was an experienced individual. There was no point talking to this sort of person who had lost favour, and still was unwilling to face reality. She would just do what she had to do. There was no need to waste any effort persuading or explaining things, and this would prevent her from attracting any trouble to herself.
Seeing the maidservant leave with his instructions, Lu Zezhi still was unable to feel at ease. He wrung his hands, vaguely understanding that the other person was not actually going to see Guan Shanjin, and she was still going to pass his message on to the steward. It was still unknown if he would be able to see Guan Shanjin today.
However, what else could he do?
Lu Zezhi closed the window wearily. He sat down by the table for a long time, his emotions abnormally in chaos, and he did not pay a single bit of attention to anything else. It was only when his back ached from sitting too long, did he then jerk back to reality, gazing out of the window in despair. At that moment, he gritted his teeth. Wearing the same clothes he had worn when he reunited with Guan Shanjin during the lantern festival in the past, he dressed himself up appropriately. Not pulling a jacket on, just like that, he walked out in thin layers, leaving his footprints in the snow.
The snow very quickly melted and seeped into his shoes and socks. Within a few steps, Lu Zezhi was so cold that his face was ashen, his lips slightly blue. His thin figure was like a ghost in the snow, the hazy winter sun casting gold light upon him.
This time, no one dared to slight him. As a matter of fact, there were two guards standing right outside his yard, and upon hearing the sounds coming from within, they turned to look. His appearance gave them a shock, so much so that their expressions changed, and they hurried forward, wanting to persuade Lu Zezhi to return indoors.
“I want to see Haiwang. If I don’t see him, I’m not going back.” Lu Zezhi was so cold that his limbs were stiff, but he still stubbornly stood in the snow, his words slow yet clear. He knew that he could not look back now, because if he did not see Guan Shanjin today, he would be trapped in this yard for the rest of his life.
“Uhh… Mr. Lu, I’ll immediately send a message to the General on your behalf. But it’s really too cold outside, you should head back indoors and wait,” the guard persuaded gently. He turned around and gestured at his partner, and it seemed like they were going to call Haiwang over.
Still, right now, Lu Zezhi’s mind had never been this clear. He would not be so easily coaxed. The matters of the Guan family’s army had always been reported first to Man Yue, and Man Yue would then decide if there was a need to report it to Guan Shanjin. As for a small matter like this, Man Yue would definitely be an obstruction to it.
Lu Zezhi was extremely aware of how Man Yue disliked him. If he were to actually go back to his room to wait, he would no longer have a second chance again. After all, Man Yue had all sorts of methods to allow him to live in comfort here, but along with that, he would no longer be able to take a step out of this yard.
“If I don’t see Haiwang, I’m not going back.” Even if Lu Zezhi already found it painful to breathe, he refused to give in.
With no choice, the guards hailed a servant to bring some hot water bottles here, as well as to convey Lu Zezhi’s insistence to Man Yue.
It seemed like for once, this Mr. Lu was standing his ground.
When he received the message, Man Yue was very annoyed. This Mr. Lu, why was he not just living his life quietly? Periodically causing such issues, what exactly did he want? Was he not reflecting on what he had done at all? However, no matter how annoyed he was, he could not let the man become frozen. As such, Man Yue could only brace himself and go look for Guan Shanjin.
As expected, Guan Shanjin had almost completely forgotten that there was such a person in his residence. If not for Wu Xingzi being right next to him, having heard the message as well, then it was hard to say if Guan Shanjin’s heart would have softened.
Finally, Lu Zezhi had managed to get a long-awaited visit from Guan Shanjin. At the same time, he saw another person he had never even thought about.
Guan Shanjin did not come alone. Dressed in a dark-coloured fox fur robe, he looked even more majestic than usual, and very handsome. Although Lu Zezhi was holding onto a hot water bottle, he had long been frozen stiff. He was unable to free himself from the support of the guards to go up and welcome the man, and that was also the reason why it took him some time before he noticed the man next to Guan Shanjin.
“Y-you… Why are you…” Lu Zezhi’s teeth chattered. From his blood exuded a chill that was even colder than snow.
Next to Guan Shanjin, was Wu Xingzi.
Lu Zezhi naturally had long forgotten the name of this person, but he could never forget that ordinary face, that flat nose, those small eyes and thick lips, with a friendly yet cringing appearance. He was wrapped up in a robe of pure silver fox fur, looking very comically cumbersome. In the snow, he stumbled about as though he would fall at any moment. However, Guan Shanjin was very patient, gently and considerately walking with him slowly, supporting him with his arms around him. The affection and delight in Guan Shanjin’s eyes could not be concealed at all, and it was as though by just looking at the person in front of him, Guan Shanjin could have the entire world in his hands.
No matter how foolish Lu Zezhi was, he knew what was going on. The person Guan Shanjin had been accompanying during this period of time was that old fellow in front of him!
“H-haiwang…” Lu Zezhi almost could not speak. He felt a wave of dizziness coming over him, and a panic that he had never once felt before.
“Laoshi, why aren’t you waiting inside?” Only then did Guan Shanjin deign to direct a glance at Lu Zezhi, before immediately turning back to Wu Xingzi. Gently, he asked, “You’re getting cold, right? Shall I carry you for a part of the walk?”
As Lu Zezhi’s courtyard had been deliberately ignored, no one remembered to sweep away the snow in the yard. As a southerner, Wu Xingzi must have great difficulty making his way through the snow, and how could Guan Shanjin bear that?
“No no no, it’s only a few more steps, I can do it.” With a blush, Wu Xingzi hurriedly waved his hands, refusing the offer. There were outsiders watching them, and he was not a child. How could he let people carry him?
“Your shoes and socks are all wet already, you’ll be frozen sick.” Guan Shanjin frowned unhappily. Without another word, and amidst Wu Xingzi’s cries of alarm, he lifted the older man up in a bridal carry.
“It’s only a few steps, and carrying you is no trouble… By the way, did you lose weight again? Why do you feel lighter?” Guan Shanjin weighed the man in his arms.
Wu Xingzi stiffened from embarrassment, reasoning with him softly, “How could I lose weight? These days, whether it’s you, or Mint and Osmanthus, you’ve all been feeding me non-stop. I didn’t go anywhere in these wintery days as well, and I’ve even gained some flesh around my waist.”
“Why didn’t I feel that at all?” Guan Shanjin lowered his head, nuzzling Wu Xingzi’s nose with his. In his eyes, Wu Xingzi was very thin, and no matter how he tried, he was unable to fatten him up. How could he not hurry up and nourish him in the capital? Later on, when they returned to Bastion City, he was going to become thinner again.
“You haven’t felt that area yet…” Only after answering honestly did Wu Xingzi realise in alarm what he had just said. He quickly covered his mouth, and in his embarrassment, he dared not look in the direction of Lu Zezhi.
Ai! There were still outsiders around them!
With red eyes, Lu Zezhi could only watch the two people behaving affectionately, unable to do anything about it.
Guan Shanjin seemed to have just recalled that there was someone waiting for his attention, and he finally looked back at Lu Zezhi again. “Laoshi must be very chilled. Lao Hu, why aren’t you quickly helping Mr. Lu back to his room?”
Having received this command, the guard dared not move slowly at all. Half-tugging and half-carrying, he dragged Lu Zezhi back indoors. Seeing how this man was looking at the General foolishly, he could not help but sigh, and persuaded him softly, “Mr. Lu, if it’s not meant to be, don’t force it. The General will protect your dignity.”
“Who allowed you to speak?!” Lu Zezhi completely could not accept what he was hearing at all. Feebly, he pushed the guard away.
With Lu Zezhi’s reaction, the guard could not be bothered to speak anymore. He too had seen how the General had doted on Lu Zezhi in the past, and how this Mr. Lu had put on airs. Not only did he leave the General hanging, he even tried to play up to the Yue family. Unfortunately, he was too greedy. A man like the General, how could he be played with and left hanging like that? Lu Zezhi completely deserved to be left with nothing in the end, and it was likely that even his last bits of dignity could no longer be protected.
Very quickly, Guan Shanjin went indoors, carrying Wu Xingzi. He could not care at all that his shoes, socks, and even the legs of his pants were all soaking wet, and after he carefully placed Wu Xingzi on a chair, he channeled his inner qi through his palms and warmed up Wu Xingzi’s slightly frozen face. Only when the old fellow’s face was reddened with heat, did he then instruct the guards to get people to send over new pairs of shoes and socks, as well as clearing up the piles of snow in the yard.
Having given his instructions, Guan Shanjin sat down next to Wu Xingzi, almost plastered to him. He smiled, looking at Lu Zezhi as he asked, “Laoshi, looking for your student today, do you have any instructions for me?”
“Haiwang…” Lu Zezhi’s wet, thin clothes clung to him. With his delicate, ethereal beauty, although his lips were currently purple from cold, looking very pitiful, along with the banked grievances and anticipation in his eyes, if it was a year ago, Guan Shanjin’s heart would definitely ache.
Still, the past was over, and Lu Zezhi was unable to even garner the slightest trace of sympathy.
Guan Shanjin sighed, “Laoshi, your clothes are all wet already. In such cold weather, why are you treating yourself so harshly? Why don’t you change your clothes before we chat?”
Hearing that, Lu Zezhi gritted his teeth. Stubbornly, he did not reply, nor did he move.
It was very warm in the room. Wu Xingzi had already removed his fox fur robe, and saw that the snow on Lu Zezhi’s hair had already melted, dripping down. The man looked both miserable and weak. Wu Xingzi opened his mouth, wanting to persuade him. However, upon thinking it was likely that Lu Zezhi did not like him, he could only close his mouth awkwardly. Instead, he tugged on Guan Shanjin’s sleeve, wanting him to persuade him instead.
Unexpectedly, Guan Shanjin actually pretended to not know anything. He had always been a heartless and cold person, and other than the few people he kept in his heart, he did not have much sincerity towards anyone else. He only felt a great sense of disgust towards this act Lu Zezhi was putting up, so how could he be in the mood to persuade him gently?
Lu Zezhi was much clearer than Wu Xingzi about Guan Shanjin’s coldness. He stared in disbelief at the man who had once doted on him, who had been infatuated with him. Desperately, in that pair of aloof, and even mocking eyes, he tried to search for a trace of that affection that had been shown to him in the past.
Unfortunately, he was fated to fail. Guan Shanjin clearly had no patience to deal with him, and said, “If laoshi has nothing to say, then I would first make my move. As people say, a teacher for a day, a father for life. The Lord Protector’s estate is still able to provide for laoshi for the rest of your life. You don’t have to stand on courtesy; just continue to stay here properly. Once spring begins, I will return to my duties in Bastion City. If you find it awkward to remain in the Lord Protector’s estate, during these days, just choose a place, and I’ll purchase a property for you. You can be assured that you will have no lack of any necessities for the rest of your life.”
Hearing this, Lu Zezhi felt as though his brain had exploded, and he started trembling unconsciously.
He had not expected that having waited for half a year, this would be the conclusion! Guan Shanjin was drawing a clear line between the two of them! How could he let this happen?!
“Haiwang! Did you forget? Who was it, who snatched me away at the Yue family’s wedding hall? Who was it, who bound me to his side for so many years? Who was it, who promised to spend the rest of our lives together?” Shaking, Lu Zezhi stood up. With reddened eyes, he walked, step by step, towards Guan Shanjin.
“It was I who snatched you from the Yue family’s wedding hall, and it was also I who bound you to my side for so many years, I was the one who did it all.” Guan Shanjin laughed, the allure in his eyes enough to charm the soul out of people, but there was also a sharpness in them that left one terrified. “So it turns out that laoshi remembers it.”
How could he forget all this? Lu Zezhi understood that his capability was mediocre, and even if he tried his best, he could only be a private tutor in some county. Originally, he could have whiled his own days quietly and peacefully, as before he had experienced such a luxurious and extravagant lifestyle, he too was a man contented with his lot in life.
However, why did life have to let him experience such sweetness? And why did Guan Shanjin have to entangle himself with his life? He was unable to leave! Whether it was Guan Shanjin’s gentleness, or the riches and power the Lord Protector’s estate could give him, he could not let any one of them go! If they wanted him to return to being a private tutor, they might as well… might as well…
“Are you blaming me?” Lu Zezhi choked out.
“What am I blaming you for?” Guan Shanjin could no longer bother to maintain a perfunctory respect for this ex-teacher of his. He knew that Lu Zezhi could not bear to let go of the riches he once enjoyed, but he did not expect that this man could be so misguided.
“Because I refuse to give…” Lu Zezhi turned away, averting his eyes, revealing a long and slender neck. It was as though he was green bamboo that could not withstand the storm, but still continued standing up straight proudly with great effort. One could not help but want to embrace him, to help shelter him from the wind and rain.
“Oh? Is this what you think?” Guan Shanjin smiled. Looking at the man in front of him who was still acting, other than feeling loathing, Guan Shanjin was also disgusted.
In the past, he did not mind favouring and doting on Lu Zezhi, despite knowing that what Lu Zezhi hankered after was the luxurious and extravagant lifestyle. Lu Zezhi could not be said to have completely no affection for him, but at the end of the day, his feelings could not be compared to his greed. And right now, although the older man clearly knew that he had already been exposed, he still wanted to continue playing his act of unworldliness, trying in vain to regain his care. As the Great Southern Garrison General, Guan Shanjin felt that he was being treated like a fool.
“Haiwang, it’s not that I’m not willing to accept you. It’s just that a relationship between men is still not viewed positively in society. I’m the only descendant left in the Lu family, and I cannot let my bloodline die off. This would be forgetting my own origins, and a great disrespect to my ancestors!”
“What a coincidence, I’m the only descendant of the Guan family too.” Guan Shanjin clapped his hands in laughter, but no amusement was seen in his eyes, glancing at the helpless and sorrowful-looking Lu Zezhi with loathing.
Lu Zezhi did not expect that Guan Shanjin would rebut him so impolitely. He lifted his head in a panic, looking at Guan Shanjin, and he trembled all over with the scorching gaze in those sharp, alluring eyes.
“Haiwang… You truly… do not miss our past affections anymore?” Lu Zezhi asked, feeling sad and anxious. This image did not make Guan Shanjin’s heart ache, but a swell of sympathy did rise up within Wu Xingzi.
“Mr. Lu, Haiwang…”
Who would have thought that when Wu Xingzi had just opened his mouth, Lu Zezhi would shoot him a harsh glare. Striding forward, the man aimed a slap right at his face.
Lu Zezhi had clearly used all his strength in that one slap, the power in it causing Wu Xingzi to fall from his chair. His cheek swelling, Wu Xingzi was entirely stunned. Guan Shanjin did not expect that Lu Zezhi would actually dare behave violently to someone right under his eyes, and Lu Zezhi actually succeeded in doing so. He had no time to react, and he didn’t even have time to reach out and steady Wu Xingzi. His face darkened instantly, his expression so savage as though he was a warrior of hell, wanting nothing more but to strip off the man of his flesh and bones. Reaching out, Guan Shanjin grabbed hold of Lu Zezhi’s throat, hurling him down to the ground.
Lu Zezhi’s entire body was trembling. He had yet to regain his vigour, as that slap had used up nearly all his energy, and Guan Shanjin had thrown him to the ground without holding back. His vision turned black, and he nearly fainted. However, he grasped onto his last shred of dignity, and managed to force himself to remain conscious. Still, he was so giddy that he could not climb back up, and he could only watch as Guan Shanjin helped up Wu Xingzi who had yet to recover from the blow. Treating him like a treasure, Guan Shanjin dared not even touch the handprint on his cheek.
This was the first time Wu Xingzi had been beaten so seriously. He reached up, wanting to touch his face. However, the moment he touched that burning handprint, he jolted in pain. It was no wonder that there was once a magistrate who liked to punish people by slapping them. Other than the embarrassment, it was also painful. It was a lot more painful than hitting any other parts of the body.
He was a little dizzy, and there was a buzzing in his ears. Everything he could see was a little blurry, and Wu Xingzi had yet to realise that the one who hit him was Lu Zezhi.
Guan Shanjin deftly helped him up from the ground, looking even more pained than Wu Xingzi. The younger man lightly covered the swelling with his palm, clearly at a loss for what to do.
“I-I’m fine…” Wu Xingzi had only opened his mouth, but he hissed in pain as his face was pulled with the action of talking. The pain spread to his shoulder, and his eyes teared up.
“Don’t speak anymore, how could this not hurt?” Guan Shanjin’s heart ached. At the same time, he was furious. Wrapping his arms tightly around Wu Xingzi, he carefully avoided putting any pressure on the injury. In his heart, he wanted nothing more than to make mincemeat out of Lu Zezhi, and he was even more angry with himself for being too negligent. He had forgotten that even a trapped rabbit with nowhere to go would bite. Lu Zezhi dared not behave so wantonly towards him, but he did dare to vent his anger on Wu Xingzi.
“Lu Zezhi, at first, on behalf of you having accompanied me for a few years, I wanted to leave you with your dignity, and assure you with having all your needs fulfilled for the rest of your life. However, this is how you repay me, hmm?” Guan Shanjin carefully settled Wu Xingzi back into his chair to rest. He did not look at Lu Zezhi at all, his voice so soft and gentle as though he was speaking words of affection, but it made one quake in terror instead.
The skin around Lu Zezhi’s throat was now red and swollen, as though a rope had been tied around it. It could be seen that Guan Shanjin did have murderous intent towards him just now, and it was likely that because he was afraid of scaring Wu Xingzi, he had pulled back a little. Right now, every bone in Lu Zezhi’s body ached, and his throat was so swollen that he had difficulty breathing. The croaking and wheezing of his every breath was like a pair of broken bellows. If not for supporting himself against the table, he would not be able to stand at all.
Despite the current situation, Lu Zezhi was still unwilling to give up. He also was unwilling to believe it. With an expression full of grievance, he stared at Guan Shanjin, his tears slipping down his ashen face, pattering onto the ground.
They had been together for over a decade! The best years of his life were spent next to Guan Shanjin. How could Guan Shanjin just decide to discard him away like this?!
“How could you be this heartless? I’ve never let you down in any case, and during your hardest times, it was I who was next to you! It was I, who helped you leave behind that cannibalistic northwest region! It was I, who helped you live like a person! And this is how you repay me?!” Lu Zezhi ignored the pain in his throat, finally giving up on his usual act of loftiness and unworldliness. Pointing at Guan Shanjin, he howled miserably.
How could he not cry? How he wished to give Wu Xingzi a few more slaps! Just look at how the old fellow was behaving right now! Flinching and looking so pitiful, he was like a stray, unwanted chicken, hiding under the eaves from the rain. What did he have to let Guan Shanjin like him? This old fellow even hooked up with other men!
“You didn’t let me down?” Guan Shanjin raised a brow. He burst out in laughter, as though having heard the world’s greatest joke. The laughter left Lu Zezhi in a panic. Biting his lip, he braced himself, but he could not conceal his shivering.
“Mr. Lu, my good teacher. Tell me again, did you really never let me down?” Guan Shanjin’s laughter came to a sudden stop, and he asked the question gently.
Lu Zezhi hunched over unconsciously. He was feeling guilty. He knew that Guan Shanjin was extremely angry. The younger man was only waiting for him to give a wrong answer, and he would deal with him. However… Lu Zezhi clenched his jaw. That matter had been done flawlessly, Guan Shanjin definitely knew nothing about that.
As such, he shook his head, choking out, “The only time it could be said that I’ve let you down, it was when I was going to marry the third young miss of the Yue family. However, you know as well, that the person in my heart was you, and I only wanted to marry Miss Yue to have a child. You can be wilful, and decide not to continue your family line, but I can’t! Up to this day, you’re still refusing to understand my troubles? Haiwang, can you blame me for not being able to trust the deep affection you speak about?”
This emotional, bitter and helpless narration was truly moving to the heart. However, a faint smile curled around Guan Shanjin’s lips, and he still could not be bothered to even look in the direction of Lu Zezhi.
The handprint on Wu Xingzi’s cheek was severely swollen. A thin layer of ointment had just been applied on it, something that Guan Shanjin, who had spent most of his time in the army, habitually carried on him in case of external injuries. The ointment carried a refreshing scent to it, and it was perfect for soothing the swelling and pain. Wu Xingzi’s mental state too recovered by a fair bit.
Cupping the old fellow’s face, Guan Shanjin examined it carefully. There was a tiny laceration at the corner of his lips, and Guan Shanjin applied the ointment there as well. Thankfully, Wu Xingzi did not bite his tongue or his cheek, causing further injury. Only then did Guan Shanjin exhale in relief, pressing a few light kisses on Wu Xingzi’s lips in consolation. Lu Zezhi was so angry that his stomach hurt, and he wanted to rush up and tear the two people apart.
“Haiwang!”
“Laoshi, there’s no hurry, I won’t forget about you.” Guan Shanjin gave him an indifferent glance, before caressing Wu Xingzi all over again. Finally satisfied, he moved the older man to a chair further away from Lu Zezhi, and stood between the two men. It seemed like he planned on properly dealing with this situation right now. “Lao Hu, get someone to bring in some tea and snacks.”
“Yes, General.”
The guards could hear very clearly the commotion within the building, but without the instructions of the General, they dared not take the initiative to enter, and could only stand on guard outside the doors, waiting. Lao Hu was deft, and he quickly brought in the tea and snacks. Without looking at anything, he placed the items down and ran out.
Tsk tsk tsk, it seems like Mr. Lu would be facing great misfortune this time! The General looks furious! Should I inform Vice General Man? Before Lao Hu closed the doors, he secretly surveyed the situation indoors and came to a decision. He should quickly inform Man Yue about the situation, so as to prevent things from being hard to deal with later.
Ignoring what Lao Hu was worried about, there was a bizarre atmosphere within the walls.
Upon seeing the tea and snacks, Wu Xingzi’s eyes immediately brightened. He had been utterly shocked just now from the slap, and he did need something sweet to recover. Although his face still hurt, it could not stop him from picking up a piece of jujube cake and nibbling at it with his front teeth.
Guan Shanjin too picked up a teacup and drank from it, wetting his throat.
“Laoshi, everything in the past had been things I was willing to do. Who is in debt to whom, let’s just go along with the passage of time, and let everything be bygones. You yourself are aware, that in the affections you held for me those years, how much of it was to take advantage of me, and to play up to power. I can only blame myself for being blind.” Guan Shanjin completely did not plan on leaving Lu Zezhi with any of his dignity. In the matters of their relationship, their accounts were both unclear, and it was difficult to properly settle their debts.
Lu Zezhi opened his mouth, wanting to explain. However, Guan Shanjin could not be bothered to listen, decisively raising his hand and stopping him from speaking. His phoenix eyes stared icily at the person in front of him. “However, after returning to the capital, what you’ve done, are you not aware of it?”
Hearing that, Lu Zezhi jerked violently. His eyes widened in disbelief, his gaze that was directed at Guan Shanjin was as though he had seen a ghost. His lips trembled and he gurgled indistinctly. The injury around his throat was too severe. He had only just shouted a few sentences, but right now, he was unable to say a word.
“I’ve been thinking, how was Bai Shaochang able to know the location of the secret study, as well as how to enter? He had only just moved into the estate, so how could I let him into the study? Say, during those years in Bastion City, have you entered my study before?” Guan Shanjin picked up his cup, skimming away the tea scum on the surface, before sipping from it self-assuredly. As for Lu Zezhi, he shuddered like a leaf in the wind, stumbling a couple of steps back. With a stagger, he nearly fell over.
He was unable to make a sound, and he could only shake his head. At first, it was a slow shake of disbelief, then he shook his head harder and faster, so much so that his hair was in disarray, and his face so pale as though he was dead.
“Don’t shake anymore. Even if you were to shake your head off your neck, the things you’ve done would not vanish into the air.” Guan Shanjin’s face was full of loathing, and he tapped his long fingers against the table as he continued, “I’ve never let you into my study in Bastion City, so how could I have left such a big loophole in the capital, and allow you to squirrel through? Lu Zezhi, if what you want is riches and luxury, I can give it to you. On behalf of our relationship for over a decade, the Lord Protector’s estate can afford to support a useless person. But why did you have to betray me, and help Yan Wenxin secretly harm the Lord Protector’s estate?”
This was actually a test. Guan Shanjin wanted to know exactly how far Lu Zezhi, in his selfishness, would go, and so he deliberately worked with his mother to let Bai Shaochang agitate Lu Zezhi. What Guan Shanjin wanted was to see that when his position was threatened, would Lu Zezhi actually betray him.
What happened next only made one terribly disappointed. Lu Zezhi actually took Yan Wenxin’s bait, and revealed the location of the secret study.
Tears rolled prettily down Lu Zezhi’s face. He opened his mouth, wanting to explain, wanting to tell Guan Shanjin that he was only afraid that he would have lost to Bai Shaochang. He was afraid that Guan Shanjin would not want him anymore, and he did not have any intention of harming the Lord Protector’s estate at all! He only did not want to leave Guan Shanjin!
However, Lu Zezhi could not say anything at all. After trying very hard, he finally managed to sound out a hoarse “Haiwang…”
Looking at his pitiful appearance, Guan Shanjin’s heart seemed to soften a little. He sighed, standing up to support him. Lu Zezhi was like a drowning man grabbing at a piece of floating wood, gripping his arms tightly and refusing to let go.
“Laoshi, I know that you only wanted to frame Bai Shaochang, and cause him to get kicked out of the Lord Protector’s estate, so that only you will be left by my side,” Guan Shanjin said gently. Pityingly, he reached out and tucked Lu Zezhi’s loose hair back. His actions were no different from the past, like a thick glass of honeyed water, it was able to make one willing to drown in it, unwilling to leave.
Lu Zezhi nodded, hoarsely calling out Haiwang’s name repeatedly.
“Lu Zezhi, I knew you weren’t smart, but I never knew that you were so stupid.”
It was clearly still a tone of affection, but the words were icy and poisonous. Lu Zezhi instantly froze.
Guan Shanjin did not wait for him to recover, moving to shove him to the ground. Smiling, he said, “You used the safety of the Lord Protector’s estate to exchange for your future, but in the end wasn’t it all for naught? As a weapon, not only are you useful, you’re even not troublesome at all. It’s no wonder Yan Wenxin was willing to use you! If the Lord Protector’s estate were to have fallen, what would you use to continue your luxurious and indolent life, hmm?”
Lu Zezhi’s mouth fell open, but he could not make a sound. It was only right then did he finally connect the dots, and he understood what a stupid decision he had made.
“Lu Zezhi, you best look out for yourself. Man Yue will arrange a place for you, and in the future, don’t appear in front of me again.” Guan Shanjin took out a handkerchief and wiped his hands, as though he had touched something dirty. In disgust, he threw the used handkerchief into a burner nearby, letting it burn into ashes.
Blankly, Lu Zezhi continued sitting on the ground. Lifelessly, he watched as Guan Shanjin carried Wu Xingzi, pushing the door open and leaving…
“Haiwang—!!!”
※※※※
Lu Zezhi left with no fanfare. He did not have another chance to see Guan Shanjin, and everything was arranged by Man Yue. Man Yue also did not treat him harshly, giving him a sum of money and buying a property and some fertile land for him back in his hometown. Even if he did not teach again, he would be able to continue living off the rent from the fertile land.
Instead, it was Wu Xingzi who happened to see Lu Zezhi depart. That day, Guan Shanjin had been summoned to the palace by the Emperor, and Wu Xingzi wanted to sneak out to buy some freshly made plum cakes. Just like this, they bumped into each other coincidentally.
Lu Zezhi was no longer dressed in pure white clothes that were untouched. He wore a coat that was either grey or cream in colour, his face pale, and his cheeks sunken. He did not have his previous ethereal, unworldly appearance anymore, and there were tiny wrinkles at the corners of his eyes. They were not obvious, but still visible, and he looked so haggard that it made it difficult for one to look at him directly.
He too saw Wu Xingzi, his eyes falling straight on the place where he had slapped Wu Xingzi a few days ago. With a twisted expression, the corners of his lips curled up. There was resentment in his eyes, that also looked like jealousy, as well as a thick layer of regret and resistance to his current situation.
Behind Lu Zezhi was a pair of servants, one male and one female. Not too far away was an ox cart, and the servants were urging him to quickly get on. Otherwise, if they were to depart too late, they would not be able to reach the village by evening time. This winter was too torturous to be staying out late.
Wu Xingzi opened his mouth, wanting to ask after Lu Zezhi. He was aware of how much the other party resented him, but he personally did not feel much distaste for Lu Zezhi. No matter what, in the past, it was Lu Zezhi who had helped Guan Shanjin come out from the gloom left behind by the battles in the northwest region.
However, Lu Zezhi turned away, quickly getting up the cart. After greeting Wu Xingzi, the servants hurriedly drove the cart away.
Wu Xingzi watched the cart depart, and it was a long time before he came back to himself.
“Master?” Mint tugged at his sleeve, asking softly, “Master, Qiao Shixuan’s plum cakes are already out of the oven. If you don’t go now, you won’t be able to buy any. Shall we leave?”
“Ah… Yes, yes, we’re going. Ai…” Only then did Wu Xingzi come back to himself, like waking up from a dream. He looked at Mint, smiling, “Mint, say, am I too soft-hearted? I wonder what Mr. Lu’s life will be like in the future.”
“It doesn’t matter what his life will be like in the future, as it all has nothing to do with Master anymore.” Mint was not as soft-hearted as Wu Xingzi. In her eyes, Lu Zezhi was only reaping what he had sown himself. In the past, the General had doted on him so much, and yet the man had squandered all the affection away, just like that. He completely deserved to get such an ending.
“Oh…” Although Wu Xingzi was soft-hearted, he was not someone who was illogical. After a few more sighs, he regained his spirits, hurrying excitedly towards Qiao Shixuan with Mint in tow, afraid that if he was just a little late, he would not be able to get any plum cakes.
Just like this, winter went by sweetly and peacefully. Taking advantage of his free time now, Guan Shanjin intertwined himself with Wu Xingzi the whole day. Sometimes, after waking up and having breakfast, Guan Shanjin would nestle in the warm, toasty study with Wu Xingzi in his arms. He had a book in his hand, and Wu Xingzi had one too. On the tables next to them were tea and snacks. Each one would read their own book and have their own snacks, as they passed their time idly away.
Because of Guan Shanjin’s free time, the three meals they had everyday were all prepared by him. No matter how he looked at Wu Xingzi’s figure, he was unsatisfied. He worked hard, providing nourishment, supplement, and all sorts of food, fattening up the old fellow by two sizes. Wu Xingzi’s cheeks finally rounded, and when tucked in Guan Shanjin’s arms, he was soft and plump to touch. Only then, was Guan Shanjin satisfied.
The Lord Protector and his wife could not be bothered about this son who was like a slave to his spouse. The genes of the Guan family were undeniable. No matter how frivolous and unrestrained they were before settling down, once they had their heart set upon one person, they wanted nothing more than to tie themselves to the other person’s waist, and follow them wherever they went.
Wu Xingzi spent his days comfortably, only one thing worrying him. There were a few times when he wanted to have a heart to heart conversation with Guan Shanjin, but whenever there was an opportunity to do so, he would flinch away. As he dragged on, the New Year came. This year, he was unable to return home to make offerings to his ancestors, but Guan Shanjin had already arranged for everything. He had sent people to Qingcheng County to make the offerings on Wu Xingzi’s behalf, and once spring began, they would head south and make their offerings again properly. At the same time, they would report their intentions to become life partners with each other.
The New Year celebrations in the capital were especially lively. On the last day of the year, nearing midnight, brilliant, colourful fireworks filled half the sky. It was a glorious display of fireworks and lanterns, and painted on the lanterns were images of a hundred children in spring, spring calligraphy, auspicious greetings, a hundred butterflies amongst flowers, and many others, dazzling people’s eyes. Wu Xingzi’s head tilted further and further back, his mouth hanging open for a long time, unable to shut it. He even nearly stumbled and fell, but thankfully, Guan Shanjin reacted quickly, wrapping an arm around him. Fortunately, both of them were seated on the ground, half-lying with their heads tilted back, admiring the fireworks filling the sky.
“Haiwang, I’ve never seen such pretty fireworks before,” Wu Xingzi sighed.
The fireworks display lasted for an hour, and the smell of gunpowder hung vaguely in the air. At midnight, sounds of firecrackers being lit filled the streets, deafening and yet bringing delight to everyone. Outside the doors of the Lord Protector’s estate were two rows of firecrackers as well, and they too were lit up. However, Guan Shanjin and Wu Xingzi did not walk outside to take a look. Instead, the two of them hugged each other, sitting in their yard as they looked up at the sky that was now again dark. It took some time, before the stars slowly regained their light.
“Do you like it?” Guan Shanjin leaned down, pecking a kiss on the top of Wu Xingzi’s head, then covered the two of them firmly with a big cloak. From afar, they looked just like one person.
“I do.” Wu Xingzi nodded. Reluctantly, he pulled his gaze away, shrinking into Guan Shanjin’s arms and nuzzling into him. “This is the second year we’re together.”
“Yes…” Guan Shanjin recalled their first New Year, and could not help but chuckle softly. At that time, Wu Xingzi and he had not laid their hearts bare to each other, and he even had yet to realise that he had long developed feelings for Wu Xingzi. Why else would he be so jealous then, to tear up the pengornis drawings?
Hugging the yawning, drowsy Wu Xingzi, he swayed him a little, coaxing gently, “I have something good for you. Would you like to see it?”
“For me?” Wu Xingzi nuzzled his cheek against Guan Shanjin’s chest, curiosity in his eyes.
Guan Shanjin had never been stingy with his presents, but he also would not seek credit deliberately. After all, to Guan Shanjin, it was no effort for him to gift such presents, so there was nothing much to say about it.
“You’ll definitely like it.” Guan Shanjin pursed his lips. Although he was smiling, Wu Xingzi could see that there was some moroseness in his eyes. As such, he was even more curious, and his drowsiness had vanished in an instant.
Lifting the older man up in his arms, Guan Shanjin stood up, and carried Wu Xingzi back to their rooms. He first tucked a hot water bottle into his hands to warm him up, then instructed him to sit properly on the chair, and not run around. Only then did he go to another room and rummage around. When he came out, he was carrying a red lacquered wood box. This box was very exquisite, the red lacquer shiny and smooth. Gold threads were inlaid on the sides of the box, creating patterns of the four noble ones — the plum blossom, the orchid, the bamboo and the chrysanthemum. The images were not big, but they were fine and delicate, comparable to the painting of the plum blossoms where the tree was covered with tiny blossoms, and yet even the hearts of each blossom could be seen clearly. It was as though real flowers had been shrunken and pressed directly onto the sides of the box.
The box was very pretty, but after exclaiming over it, Wu Xingzi could not help but be puzzled. This sort of item was not something Guan Shanjin would deliberately mention to seek credit.
“What I want to give you is not the box, but the things inside it.” Could Guan Shanjin not notice the confusion in the old fellow’s eyes? He laughed indulgently, pinching Wu Xingzi’s fleshy nose. Only then did he open the box, pressing it into Wu Xingzi’s hands.
Within, was a pile of papers.
Wu Xingzi again looked at Guan Shanjin, bewildered. On top of the pile, something about drawings seemed to be written there. Hesitating for a moment, he finally reached into the box and took out the pile of papers.
“This is…” Wu Xingzi gasped, his eyes filling with tears. Feeling both moved and grateful, he looked towards Guan Shanjin. “Haiwang, these are all… pengornis drawings?”
“Yes. There’s a total of 360 pieces, and I’ve selected them all from everywhere throughout Great Xia.” Guan Shanjin was both pleased yet morose. Seeing that Wu Xingzi was so touched that he was crying, he hurriedly stood up, wiping away his tears. “Why are you crying? Do you like them?”
“I do, I like them very much…” Wu Xingzi bobbed his head continuously. Afraid that his tears would stain the pengornis drawings, he quickly placed the three hundred and sixty drawings back into the box, and closed the lid. “Ai, Haiwang… Haiwang…”
Since a while ago, he no longer held that great of an interest in pengornis drawings anymore, and he could not even remember the last time he had looked through the treasured rattan case of his. However, he had never thought that Guan Shanjin would still remember this little embarrassing interest of his.
His chest feeling so full of emotions, Wu Xingzi could not say a word. He had always been clumsy in speech, and so he could only softly call out Guan Shanjin’s name again and again. Other than the man in front of him, there was nothing else in his mind.
“I know that you like to look at these, so, in the future, we can look at them together.” Guan Shanjin cupped Wu Xingzi’s face with his hands. Kissing him, he pulled the older man into an embrace. “We’ll be together like this, year after year, hmm?”
“Yes.” Wu Xingzi nodded firmly, making the promise. His heart was already full, and it had been a long time since he needed these pengornis drawings… However, he still was a little partial to them.
The sounds of the firecrackers outside had ceased. All they could hear now was the breathing and the heartbeat of the person standing in front of them, forever and always…