Worst Stories Ever

Eight: Becoming a Magical Girl?!



Milly threw the Führer bag into the backseat, sitting on the side door. Sweat was dripping down her face, her stress being obvious.

She pulled out her rocket launcher as Jimmithey sat in the other back seat. Jack ran up, panting as he reached the side door.

“M-milly! Who the fuck is gonna drive now!?” Jimmithey yelled as he noticed the driver seat was empty. She finished setting up her rocket and looked at Jack.

“Jack, you have to drive the car. NOW!” Milly screamed as she threw the key at him. He was flabbergasted, nearly fumbling the key in his hands.

“D-dude, I-I c-can barely d-drive… I don’t even got my fuckin’ drivers license! Why can’t I sit in the back and u-uh J-Jimmithey uses the rocket launcher!” Jack said as he began shaking his hands. Milly was prepared to scream at him, but she stopped when she saw the hospital suddenly explode!

“FUCKING DRIVE JACK!!!” Both Milly and Jimmithey cried out as rubble began to fly at the car. Jack jumped straight into the driver seat, turning on the car and blasting off as fast as he could.

The Colonel spotted this, standing on top of a piece of rubble. This only pissed him off, causing him to stomp on the ground.

“Oooooh! You bitch ass motherfucking fucks! YOU CAN’T leave the Colonel out of the damn party!” The Colonel screamed as he prepared to change his costume. 

He suddenly ripped off his shirt, causing a light to flash from his chest. Dark brown hair began to grow from his chest. His hands became claws and his teeth became fangs. 

“FURRY FÜHRER SUIT!” The Colonel shouted as he became a massive beast.

He was 50 feet tall, with a massive cock that broke the concrete beneath itself when it slammed down. His eyes were blood red and he was pissed, beginning to chase after the three.

“FUCK!! WHERE ARE WE GOING!!!” Jack cried out as he pushed on the accelerator, slamming the car into bushes and tree branches. 

“We’re going to the magical girl mansion! We need their help now, for their powers give off pure, anti degenerate energy. Perfect for fighting the King Cuck!” Milly yelled at Jack, putting the directions on her phone.

But as she said this, Jimmithey’s eyebrow raised.

“Uh Milly! About the magical girls, well, they’re kinda gone. There’s only one left. Her name is Myusel and she’s out of this city. Forever. They can’t help us!” Jimmithey said in response, remembering what happened almost half a year ago.

This caused Milly to slam her fist into the cup holder, breaking it. She then turned to look at Jimmithey, incredibly pissed off.

“YOU COULD’VE TOLD ME THAT! Shit!!! But! But… either way, that mansion must have SOMETHING WE CAN USE!” Milly screamed straight at Jimmithey. He covered his ears, pushing himself away from her.

“Calm the fuck down! Either way, those girls were as degenerate as the King Cuck. They wouldn’t have helped for shit!” Jimmithey said as the car began to go faster.

They then heard loud stomping and shaking from behind themselves, Jack soon screaming at the top of his lungs when he looked at the side mirror.

“GUYS! GUYS LOOK FUCKING BEHIND US!! WHAT THE FUCK IS THATTT!” Jack screamed as he pushed the accelerator down even more, going at almost 95 MPH.

Milly and Jimmithey both turned, seeing a massive furry monster running towards them!

“I-Is that the Führer?! But he’s right here! Did the Colonel just fucking copy the Furry Führer?!?” Jimmithey shouted as he looked out the window, seeing the beastly Colonel smash through the forest!

“Seems so! And all of the other generals are just as strong and as unfair as the Colonel! Go even fucking faster Jack!” Milly screamed as she put her head back inside of the vehicle.

Jack did this, but noticed that the dashboard had a light going off. 

“S-shit M-Milly! The gas is almost fucking out! We won’t make it!” Jack yelled, continuing to push as hard as he could on the peddle.

Milly nodded, grabbing her stuff and the Führer bag. She wrapped it along herself and grabbed Jimmithey and Jack by their collars.

“M-milly!?!” Both Jimmithey and Jack yelled as they saw her suddenly kick the door open. They were going at 130 MPH, making it so jumping out of the car would instantly kill them! 

“I’m going run the rest of the way there, with you two on my back. Hang on tight!” Milly screamed as she jumped out of the car, pulling both Jimmithey and Jack out with her!

“FUCKKKK!!!” They both screamed as Milly ran into the forest at superhuman speed!

They slammed and got hit by different tree branches, but still held onto Milly’s small shoulders! 

They heard a massive explosion go off behind themselves. Jimmithey assumed it was their car, but he had no idea if it had crashed or if the Colonel had gotten to it.

After a few minutes, Milly stopped in a massive open field. Jimmithey and Jack fell onto the ground, laying on their backs as they caught their breaths. 

“*KOFF-KOFF* Holy shit…. I t-think I ate a-a fucking bird back there…” Jimmithey coughed out as he began to stand back up. Jack, being a chubby guy, still needed some more time to rest. 

Jimmithey then noticed where he was, seeing the massive crater and field of dirt around themselves. In front was a half destroyed mansion on top of a mountain.

It was the Magical Girl Manor, the same place where Jimmithey was held as a slave. It wasn’t a place of good memories, so he was absolutely not happy to be back.

“Guys, let’s hurry up. The Colonel will catch up in a few minutes!” Milly said as she pulled Jack up, still holding the Führer bag and her massive rocket launcher. 

“Milly, what can we even find in this place? These girls were freaks. They probably only kept weird sex toys around here.” Jimmithey asked as they began running, using his Schizo powers to run faster.

Milly held Jack up as they ran, responding when they reached the base of the mountain.

“Even then, if you’re right about their true nature or whatever, they have to have the machine that creates magical girls…” Milly said as they began walking up the mountain. She let go of Jack, allowing him to walk up himself.

“Creates magical girls? But we need a virgin girl to do that, right? At least that’s what I’ve heard from the books and shit. Are you going to become one, Milly?” Jimmithey asked, seeing that they were almost at the front entrance.

It was now covered by foliage and surrounded by overgrown grass. Jimmithey had no idea how Myusel could have bought something like this.

“No, I’m not becoming one. Are you serious Jimmithey? I’ve obviously already lost my virginity. And no, we don’t need a girl to do it. Thing is, you’ve also lost your virginity with that green haired guy. So, that leaves only one final candidate.” Milly answered as she reached the front door, kicking it open.

Both Milly and Jimmithey turned to look at Jack, who was panting and holding himself up with his knees.

“W-what..? W-why are you all looking at me… Y-you guys… C-come on!” Jack yelled as he tried walking forward, then falling onto his knees from exhaustion.

“Jack. Do it. You’re our only option.” Milly said sternly, standing in the middle of the door frame.

Both Jack and Jimmithey were shocked, but Jimmithey understood that they really had no choice. The Colonel was coming. Jack, on the other hand, was pissed.

“No! Fuck no! Fuck you! I’m not turning into a fucking magical girl dude! No way! I don’t care!” Jack screamed, waving his hands around. Milly walked up closer to Jack, staring down at him menacingly. 

“Jack. The fate of the world is in our hands right now. If we don’t kill the Colonel right here and now, we’ll have no chance of beating the King Cuck. And in order to do that, we need you to become a magical girl. Please. If you don’t do this, you won’t be able to see your family again. You won’t be able to watch your anime ever again. Please Jack.” Milly said earnestly, holding his shoulders. 

Jack was still trembling, scared for himself. But, he realized Jimmithey had felt the same way as him earlier. Yet he was able to stand up and fight against freaks like the Furry Führer. So he nodded at her, clenching his fists.

“Shit… Fine. I’ll do it.” Jack said, looking at Milly’s eyes. She nodded, proud of him.

Jimmithey was also impressed to see Jack being so brave. He was usually lazy and a bit of a coward, and a chronic masterbater. So this was surprising for him.

They then entered the half destroyed abandoned mansion, seeing dirt and grime covering all over the fancy furniture. Milly walked around, destroying and searching for any device that could help them.

Milly then broke down a door and saw a massive lab room, devices strung all about. In the middle of it was a massive device, which had a small bed in the middle and long tubes surrounding it.

“This is it! The Magical Girl Transmogrifier Machine! Come on everyone!” Milly yelled, causing Jack and Jimmithey to run back to her.

When they got to her, they saw Milly messing around with the machinery, causing lights to turn on and steam to come out.

“U-uh Milly? I know you said a magical girl, but that means I just get the powers and the costume, right? I-I can handle that, even if it's a bit embarrassing.” Jack asked as he began to slowly walk to the large machine, looking at it in fear.

“Bro it’s called a magical GIRL for a reason. Jack, you’re gonna become a girl.” Jimmithey said as he held Jack by the shoulder, looking at him sadly.

“WHAT?! THAT IS NOT APART OF THE DEAL! I-I DON’T WANNA LOSE MY DICK! FUCK!” Jack cried out, walking backwards. Milly turned at him and punched a nearby table, causing it to break.

“Jack! You can’t back down! Remember everything I just told you earlier! The machine is on, so we just need YOU to get in!” Milly screamed, getting even more pissed off at Jack.

“Jimmithey! Please convince her that we can’t do this! I don’t give a damn! I don’t wanna lose my dickkk!!!” Jack cried out, grabbing his friend’s chest.

Jimmithey was about to respond, but they heard a massive feral roar coming from in front of them. 

ROAAAARR!!!

“Jack! The Colonel is coming for us right now! We have to do this, right FUCKING NOW!” Milly cried out, opening up the hatch to the machine. 

Jack began to breathe in and out, calming down. He then looked down at his crotch, remembering all of the fond memories he had with his privates. He then looked up, walking straight towards the machine. There was a small bed, which he got up on and laid down upon.

“You’re doing good Jack! Lay down on your stomach and face forward!” Milly yelled as the hatch began closing, leaving Jack in the cylinder.

A light came on, shining on his face. Suddenly, a device came down that ripped his piss pants apart!

“W-what the fuck!” Jack yelled as he turned around, seeing that a large magical dildo was hanging behind himself. 

“M-MILLY! I-IS THAT GOING INTO MY ASS?! SHIT!!!” Jack yelled as he tried moving, noticing that he was clamped down onto the bed! The massive dildo began moving closer to his ass, energy dripping off of it.

“FUCK!!!”


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