World Boss: Break the Narrative

While this setup probably sounds like a letter to penthouse forum -ask your parents- the only effective way I have found to accurately describe the incredible awkwardness of the situation was to just summarize the situation.

First, I was locked in this place. I was physically trapped. The constant stress that places on people is profound and almost impossible to truly express in words. Next was the fact that I did not fully trust Angelica. Now, I was aware that she seemed to have tried to pull Wilson’s attention away from me. That said, she clearly had a bit of an anger streak. And she could easily kill me. I was trying to be polite about the missed stab with the spear, but it was harder to move past that than you may think. Celeste seemed nice, but I knew next to nothing about her either. All of that translated to wanting to keep a bit of distance between us. So, it was frustrating in more ways than one to be stuffed in a tub with her. The stupid thing was heart-shaped. One of us in each bump, and our legs pressed together.

Now, normally I would just be an adult about this. This was happening for a specific reason. One that did not involve her touching me for mutual fun. So, I would just not read into anything. That said both of us were under the effects of divine sex drugs. So, the simple act of forced footsy that the tub required was triggering a seriously distracting response. Then there was the fact that again we were pressed together. The only possible way for both of us to fit, other than one of us sitting in the other’s lap, was for my left arm over her shoulders and her right arm around my back. Every little twitch of either of us caused some skin-on-skin contact that sent tingles of lightning through me. Also, I was harder than LaPlace Transforms without a reference chart.

Because of this Angelica and I just sat there. Staring directly into the fire. The reason we did this was because it prevented us from looking at each other. There had been a particular we-don’t-talk-about-this moment when I was getting into the tub. The tub grants the smooth glide condition for everyone in the tub. That reduces the effects of friction by 80%. I slipped. Hands went flying. Eyes had to be opened, and of course, we ended up staring into each other’s eyes. I will say this. Angelica is an attractive woman. She was fit and curvy, her face was beautiful, and her eyes were something I could get lost in at the best of times. In that moment seeing her look at me with that same aching, longing she was irresistible.

Warning you are about to violate your pact!

This action will have consequences.

Proceed Yes/No

That killed the mood and gave me a chance for a willpower roll. Which I passed.

“My bad, I am sorry. I should have told you about the smooth glide condition. Also sorry about grabbing your…”

“it’s fine!” I said, needing to pull focus away from her about to say certain words. That would put my mind back on unhelpful tracks.

Thankfully another prompt shifted our focus.

Tub of love activated!

The two people in the tub will receive the fresh clean condition after 2 hours in the tub.

However, shall we pass the time?

Time remaining 1:59:12

Angelica screamed in frustration and clenched her fist. She just started repeating “I’m fine! I’m fine! I’m fine!” on a loop. Although, the way she was saying it through clenched teeth made me suspect that she was in fact not fine.

Looking at the prompt again and seeing Time remaining 1:56:37 was also disheartening.

“Tell me something about yourself,” Angelica said.

“What?” I asked.

“I need to focus on talking. Tell me something about yourself,” Angelica pressed.

“I’m a very private person,” I offered lamely

“We are naked and, in each other’s arms, don’t get shy on me now.”

“You go first. You’re higher level” I shot back. I expected her to balk at this. But we were simply trying to kill time.

“Fair,” Angelica conceded. “I hate hot chocolate.”

“How can you hate hot chocolate?” I demanded.

“It is an excuse to not drink coffee, eat actual candy if you need sugar,” she explained. “Your turn.”

“I don’t hate hot chocolate,” I said after a moment’s thought.

“Bitch move, try again.”

“Fine.” I had to work to get my brain onto a track about what I was and was not willing to share about myself. “I hate hot weather. Winter is inherently easier to deal with. If it weren’t for the fact that you can’t grow food in the snow it would be perfect.”

“I have always preferred fall weather,” Angelica said.

“Bitch move, try again,” I shot back.

“I currently have five pending marriage proposals.” She said.

“Only five?” I asked.

“Shut up.” She said clearly flattered. Her next words were more serious. “They are all political. People don’t really care about me, so much as what I could do for them. It is starting to sour my whole perception on love and marriage all together.”

“I’ve been married. It has some serious ups and downs.” I said without thinking.

“Wait! You were married?” Angelica asked.

Willpower check successful

Emotional state brought back to controlled levels

You are now expert in willpower

“I know I brought it up, but could we talk about something else,” Images of Marnie flashed in my mind. It actually took another two willpower rolls to shut that all down.

“Okay.” Angelica thought for a moment, “What happened to your weapons?”

“I don’t have any. I have just been using my hands to fight.” I admitted.

“Really? I mean everyone talks about monk builds. But I have never heard of anyone actually doing it. Is that how you were able to have epic Scale armor?” Angelica asked.

“The armor was a gift,” I explained.

Angelica thought about this for a long time. “Can I ask you something kind of personal?”

“You’re naked in the tub with me, don’t get shy on me now,” I said. I was guessing this was going to be something about being married.

“How is your health regen so high?” she asked it in a strangely quiet voice. Like you would when you inquire about a sick person’s health in the hospital.

“I have a perk. It vastly increased my health regen.” I explained. Some part of me figured it would be a bad idea to describe the perk in detail.

“Did you get that from your class?” she asked.

“No, I got it from a level up.”

Silence followed for a long moment, “That is so lucky. I am legitimately jealous. I have been training my regen every day for years, and it isn’t even close to what you have.”

“It is the only reason I have been able to survive out here,” I admitted.

Again, after a long moment, Angelica spoke. “I have 700 hit points.” Her tone implied like this was a huge revelation. She also sounded vaguely embarrassed like a rich person does when they say they don’t have money to tip.

“Wow,” I said, legitimately impressed. If she was roughly level 30 that would mean she was getting just over 23 hit points a level. That put things like how much power I got a level into perspective.

“Please don’t make a big deal out of this?” Angelica pleaded.

“For what it is worth I have 120 hit points.” I offered. It felt like the right thing to do.

I could see gears turning in her head. Part of me felt bad. While everything I said was true, it all pointed to an incorrect solution.

“That would put you at high level in the Rare Scale range,” she said tentatively.

“And you are epic then?” I asked.

“Heroic,” she admitted. After a beat, she added, “please don’t be weird about it.”

“I won’t if you won’t,” I said. This was probably a lot more important than I appreciated, but I was living minute to minute right now with the boon of Adora, and spitefully opposing Wilson’s effort to control me like a toy meant I couldn’t focus on the big picture.

“Deal, besides If I am going to make anything weird it is going to the sleeping arrangements. I can guarantee that the bed is going to require two people to get the Well Rested condition.” She said pointing.

“Let's focus on unsexy things. What was the least sexy thing you were involved in?” I asked.

“Escaping the Technacost.” She said without hesitation. “The last leg of it was through the sewers. I waded through so much filth, I ended up with the tainted condition. When I hit the ocean, sharks swam away from me, the stink was so bad. It took five clerics and a petition ritual to cleanse that condition. What about you?”

“My grandmother’s funeral,” I said. “I was one of the pallbearers. When we went to carry her to the grave, someone slipped and we dropped her. The coffin opened. She fell out. We had to put her back. In the chaos, I was pushed into the grave.”

“Okay you win,” Angelica said.

The rest of the bath, all things considered, was kind of nice. Angelica and I just sort of talked about nothing and slowly ran down the clock. Getting hit with the Fresh Clean condition was…odd. In the space of an instant, every part of me was free of dirt, grim, or irritants of any kind. None of that bothered me, but the sudden absence was noticeable and pleasant.

I was the first to get out of the tub and discovered a rather troubling issue. The smooth glide condition literally caused all my clothes other than the boxers and cape to fall off. How a shirt could fall off me when I had my head through the collar and my arms through the sleeves was a mystery, but the results are hard to argue with.

Angelica had it worse. Since none of her gear was epic level.

“How about this? I wear the boxers, and you wear the cape.” I offered.

“Counter offer, I take the boxers, you take the cape. That way I can lock my inventory, and will have a piece of epic gear covering my ass. That should protect us for the night.”

“I am not sure I am comfortable just having… it hang free. The odds of it… touching things goes down if I keep… it contained.”

Angelica thought about that but shook her head, “Our best bet is me, with the boxers, you with the cape. Then you are going to be the little spoon. I will keep my hands above the waistline. The best we can do about… it, is to not address it.”

That made sense to me. I offered her the boxers and made my way to the bed. Angelica climbed in behind me. The lights dimmed. The room was just dark enough that it felt intimate but still bright enough that you could see… well everything.

I had thought the bed was large, but the stupid heart shape meant we had to either press together and share half of it, one of us hang over the side, or sleep in a sort of crisscross pattern. Since the second option would prevent us from being able to get the well-rested condition, and the third was basically a sex position we went with option 1.

Having Angelica’s arms around me, and feeling her warm wine scented breath on my neck, caused something in my guts to clench, and my heart to patter. I just stared at the prompt

Bed of canoodling activating

Romantic glow condition activated

If two or more people lay atop this bed for 8 hours continuously, they will receive the well-rested condition. Sleep not required. 😉

Would you like to sleep Yes/No

For whatever reason. I just couldn’t bring myself to hit the yes. I knew it was sad. I knew Angelica and I had no emotional connection and the physical contact was just a necessity. But if I didn’t think, and just let the sensation of being held happen, I could pretend I was with my wife. We had gone to a cabin like this once. We did it before…

Willpower roll Successful.

Unwanted memory suppressed.

Note successive checks will become increasingly difficult.

A faint glow of Celeste’s eyes lit the room. Very quietly she said, “I know you are not asleep. We need to talk.”

“I wasn’t doing anything,” I said reflexively. Of course, that made me sound guilty as hell.

“Relax,” Celeste said. She gave me a small reassuring squeeze. “Let me start by saying Angelica is currently asleep. So, this conversation is just between you and me. Okay?”

“Okay,” I said. Absolutely not knowing where this was going.

“You’re a titan spawn, aren’t you?” she asked.

I thought about lying. I thought about running. Then I thought I wasn’t who I was before. I was Doug now. I was going to try and do things differently. “Yeah, is that a problem?”

Celeste was quiet for a long time, “I don’t think so. No titan spawn has aligned with the host, but I am not going to give you the elevator pitch tonight. That said, I am guessing you are barely level two, and you are able to grind through the goblin wastes. In another few levels, you could become something completely beyond my power to deal with. That is why I am going to say, please be kind.”

“That’s it?” I asked.

“Should there be more?”

“You’re not going to threaten me, to not hurt people, or give me some big speech about responsibility, or tell me God has a plan?” I all but demanded.

“Nope,” Celeste said. She nestled her head on my shoulder, “we should get some sleep.”

“What kind of angel are you?” I almost shouted.

“One that is done the best she can. I am not perfect. If my mistake is showing kindness rather than contempt to a newborn, then so be it.”

When I realized I had nothing else to say I hit yes on the sleep prompt. So much for doing things differently.