When Heroes Die

“One should note that the light at the end of the tunnel comes with strings attached. Rather than accepting them, I chose to remain in the dark.”

– Translation of the Kabbalis Book of Darkness, widely attributed to the young Dead King

I opened my eyes as the early morning light shone through a crack in the shutters. We were staying in a somewhat dingy but otherwise serviceable residence. It wasn’t as nice as where I would have liked to stay, being in a somewhat middle class part of town, but it drew less attention to us. A few days had passed since our arrival, and we had taken our time properly settling in.

We had made some preliminary inroads into finding out what was happening in Caith, but were being cautious in how we went about it. Unlike when we met the Artist the first time, this city was big and there were definitely Eyes of the Empire operating in it. We were being more thorough in this investigation than the last one.

I focused, exerting effort to clean myself and pushed against the world, then floated my grey silk shirt and trousers over and proceeded to change out of my night clothes.

After putting on my glasses, I was ready to face the morning.

A private bath would have been nicer. Not for the purposes of cleaning, just for relaxation. Unfortunately, that would be a bit too high class for what we were pretending to be, and I didn’t feel like taking a public one.

Money wasn’t really a problem for us any more. When you could turn piles of dirt into almost anything you liked, it stopped holding any meaning. That didn’t mean we acted that way, though. We still took on jobs and put on the pretence of needing it. Living as if money has no value would certainly attract attention.

Leaving my room, I descended the narrow stairwell to the second and then the first floor. The other two were already seated at a narrow table. The entire place felt claustrophobic, like those small British matchbox houses I would sometimes see on television.

“Morning girlie,” Max turned my way cheerfully, then gestured to the table.

On the table was a plate containing breakfast. Sitting down on his right, I focused carefully and started mentally slicing up the bacon and eggs. Then I picked up my fork.

“Good morning,” I replied.

“Sooner or later, I expect that you will ruin a plate when you handle your food that way,” Roland commented.

I shrugged.

“I can always make another plate.”

Max guffawed, as if he found it to be a particularly funny joke.

“During the course of today, I shall endeavour to make connections in the criminal underbelly. I would appreciate it if Taylor could make inquiries as to where disappearances have been occurring, and then investigate the local stores to see if they have any texts which may be of use to her. Maxime, would you be amenable with investigating the local cemetery in order to alleviate Taylor’s concerns?” Roland pontificated.

I took a moment to translate what Roland said.

“Now that’s just insulting. I’m not that old. Sending me off to the cemetery already?” Max joked.

“We’re splitting up?” I asked, just to be sure.

“Indeed, although regardless of what interesting diversions you happen upon, all of us should return here before the sun finds its bed,” Roland confirmed.

“I don’t like this,” I denied, “Max and I should at least stick together. It might be a waste of time, but better to be safe than end up regretting it.”

“We were informed that the disappearances only occur after dark, making the best use of our daylight seems like the proper course of action.”

I finished my breakfast, mentally cleaned all of our dinnerware and then floated it away, putting it where it belonged.

“I’m with Taylor here, Roland. We can look at the cemetery together, tonight.”

“I feel like this is a misuse of our time, but if the two of you are in accord then I shall agree to it,” Roland acquiesced.

Reflecting on what he said, I focused more on the details of what he wanted us to do.

“You want the two of us to try to map out the disappearances?” I checked.

“Indeed. If you can, also look into who has disappeared and see if you can find a commonality between them.”

Well, it seemed I was back to old investigative work.

I floated my black boots over from beside the door and proceeded to put them on. I had cleaned them when we arrived, but I doubted they would stay clean for long.

Exiting the building, Roland split off from us. I allowed a cloud of notice-me-not to fall over the two of us, then prepared to head off. Max and I started to head towards the nicer parts of town, where the Watch patrolled in force. My boots clicked against the cobbled path below my feet as we walked between the tall, narrow buildings lining either side of the road.

“Say, girlie…”

“Yes?”

“Did Roland say how he planned to find the people he’s looking for?”

I took a moment to think about it.

In our haste to argue against the part of his plan that involved the two of us doing something reckless, we seemed to have missed that.

“No, he didn’t,” I admitted. “I don’t think going off to meet with them on his own is a good idea, either.”

I knew why he wanted to talk with the city’s criminal element. If the crooks were willing to deal with us at all, then we could start looking into finding a fence we could trust with finding the books we actually wanted. Finding out more about how I arrived in Calernia would probably involve looking into books on how to summon demons and devils. Even if the Black Knight hadn’t put a ban on the selling of magical texts, that would still be outlawed here.

However, the enforcement of the ban was likely laxer in Daoine than in Callow.

“Do you think we will need to rescue him?”

I hoped not. Whatever Roland ended up doing, please let it not cause us trouble.

“Possibly. I should have been the one to make the connections as well,” I added.

“No,” Max denied. “It fits his purpose.”

I wasn’t sure if negotiating with thieves did fit the Role of the Rogue Sorcerer, but I could possibly see the connection.

“It might, but I have more experience,” I argued.

Conversation petered out as we arrived at a thoroughfare that was busy even at these early hours of the morning. Stalls were set up all around it, and there was both horse and foot traffic making its way through. To our left, the west gate that we had entered through could be seen in the distance.

Scanning the crowd, I spotted one of the members of the Watch. It was a woman clad in hardened leather armour with an open helmet. Her eyes roamed over the crowd, with the careful examination of a predator in search of acceptable prey.

Just the kind of person I was looking for.

“Her,” I pointed her out to Max, then slowly began reducing the potency of the effect I had around us.

“What makes you think that dicking with the Watch is a good idea, girlie?”

“I’m not going to cause trouble, just ask her what places to stay away from.”

If anyone had a grasp on where to avoid, it would be the Watch. As far as I understood it, they were like elite soldiers. It surprised me that they seemed to be filling the role of the city’s police, but I wasn’t about to turn down a chance at narrowing down our suspect. I suspected they were only acting in that capacity right now due to the disappearances, it seemed like a task they wouldn’t be doing otherwise.

I didn’t want to ask about the problem directly, in case that attracted attention. Instead, I would ask about which parts of the city were considered unsafe.

I approached the woman. “Excuse me-”

“Is something the matter? Murder, Rape, Kidnapping, Assault?” She snapped out.

“No, but-”

“Then piss off uraind,” she interjected. “I have a job to do, and you’re interrupting.”

I didn’t know what that meant, but it sounded insulting.

“I just want to-”

“Kid, whatever you want, fuck off and ask someone else. You look like trouble on two legs, and I want nothing to do with it.”

Well.

It seemed that avenue of investigation was cut off.

Max guffawed loudly from beside me, “I told you that was a shit idea, girlie.”

We tried a couple more of the members of the Watch, but they were all equally dismissive of us. From what I started to gather, it was more because of our background than anything else. When the Deoraithe approached them, they seemed positively charming in comparison.

With the first idea shot down, we spent some time asking the locals on the street for the lay of the land. Max suggested we asked around at the local taverns to build a better picture, but that would have to wait until the evening. They didn’t see much traffic at this time in the morning.

The little we did learn through happenstance started to paint a more disturbing picture. All the people who disappeared were girls who were younger than twenty. They didn’t share any other traits between them that I noticed. We marked down the reported last sightings as we went on the map we had acquired but… They had been abducted from all over the city, even the richer sections. Maybe I had been wrong about it being a necromancer, and it was slavers after all.

That also made little sense, surely they would pick people who wouldn’t be missed? I was puzzled.

After a brief stop for lunch, we moved on to my primary goal. Seeing if any of the local stores sold any books that could help me. It was unlikely, but it was best to look first before dismissing the option entirely.

We started from the western side of the city. Arriving at Azimuth’s emporium again, I could feel the walls of the city pressing right against me. I rang the bell. At first, there was no response. After the second ring, I heard shuffling from inside.

“You lot, again?” the gregarious man called out as he opened the door, “didn’t find all you needed yesterday. Fine, come in, come in.”

It’s like he's trying to drive away customers.

“We’re here to browse the books,” I said.

“The children’s stories are that way,” he pointed a shrivelled finger to a shelf on the far right.

“What?” I was confused.

“It’s obvious that’s what you’re after. Kid on the way, and you want something to keep them occupied.”

For a moment, I just gaped like a fish. I wasn’t even fat! I was still as thin as a stick, just like I had been the day I arrived here. How did he reach that conclusion?

“The father is that friend of yours who isn’t here with you, obviously. Now go on, get browsing.”

“Girlie, when were you going to tell me that the two of you were boning,” Max cackled.

“Roland and I are not in a relationship!” I stated, somewhat indignantly.

I didn’t even like him that way. He was a good friend, but there was no physical or romantic attraction. Despite all the time we spent on the road, he was effeminate, and I liked men who had some muscle to them.

Somewhat annoyed, I started browsing the stacks. It quickly became clear that I wouldn’t be struck by providence the way that Roland had been. Eventually we did end up buying some children’s stories on the Fae, but only because they might actually be useful to me if I ever ran into them again. Stories were weapons against them, and I wasn’t sure if my open invitation to the Summer Court was real or not.

The two of us moved from store to store, but no progress was made. Empty-handed, we headed back to our current place of residence and arrived a few hours past noon. Roland was not back yet, so I took some time to continue detailing my past life in my journal.

“Had any success?” I asked as Roland came in. He was grinning, his cheeks flush with success.

“Through a fortuitous encounter, I was able to make inroads with the local Thieves' Guild-”

It’s always a fortuitous encounter.

“Wait,” I interjected, “they actually call themselves the Thieves' Guild.”

“That’s right, girlie.”

“Is there an Assassin’s Guild too?” my pitch of voice rose as I spoke.

“Indeed, but the activities of the Assassin’s Guild are not pertinent to this discussion.” His lips curled up in distaste when saying their name. “The Thieves were willing to entertain my inquiries for a substantial sum,” he looked my way meaningfully, “but were only able to provide the barest of scraps on the disappearances.”

Just go with it, Taylor, it’s Calernia. It makes sense that there is a Thieves’ and Assassin’s Guild. Just think of them as a gang. The fact that they call themselves that is completely normal here.

It surprised me after learning that there was an Evil Empire with genuine Legions of Terror that I could still be surprised. I would have thought after I found out that one of their tyrants had tried to steal Callow’s weather of all things that nothing would be able to make me blink any more, but clearly I was wrong.

“What books did you ask them about?”

“I raised the subject of acquiring magical tomes, not limited to a single subject,” Roland explained.

That…was bolder than I would have liked, but at least he didn’t ask them for books on diabolism.

“Seems risky just asking them right out. Some of them are probably Praesi spies. Why didn’t you try feeling them out with something safer first?”

“I’m with Taylor here,” Max nodded along as he spoke.

“It is quite possible that you are correct,” Roland agreed. “However, I deemed the risk to be acceptable.”

I…wasn’t happy with him making a call about our safety without asking us first.

“And how did you decide that?” I challenged.

“Whilst the nature of our request is almost certain to raise eyebrows, it is highly unlikely we will be seen as heroes, merely ambitious wizards,” he explained.

While I could sort of see his logic, I didn’t think that made us any safer. It was still attracting unnecessary attention.

“This is not okay. You made a decision without asking the rest of us that impacts all of our safety.”

“Taylor was right, this wasn’t your call.”

Roland looked upset at being criticized.

“I was making an effort on the behal-”

“We know,” I cut him off, “and I really appreciate the intent. But maybe ask our opinions before making big decisions?”

Roland nodded stiffly.

“We’re a group, we should decide things together. That means we talk to each other about them first. Making choices like this on your own without talking about it with us is how problems start. I know that you’re the leader of our group, Roland, but this affects all of us.” I paused my speech, taking time to gather my thoughts. Max was nodding his agreement.

Then, out of the corner of my eyes, I noticed that the sun was setting. I could see its dying rays shining through the still open door. Properly talking over the issues I had with this would take a while.

We wouldn’t be able to investigate the graveyard if we did that.

I didn’t like putting the conversation off, but people’s lives were potentially at stake.

“We’ll come back to this later, it’s important. For now, tell us what you learned about the disappearances.”

“I can state with a high degree of certainty that none of the graveyard’s staff are part of a necromantic cabal. The graveyard is allegedly run by an elderly lady, not long past seventy summers, who has called Caith her home for the entire duration of her life,” Roland expounded.

“I think we should check her out regardless,” Max added.

“Anything else?”

“A corpse was discovered in one of the downtrodden locales within the bounds of Caith,” his lips pressed into a distasteful frown. “It was exsanguinated.”

“Great,” I muttered, “now I have no idea what it is.”

“What’s that, girlie? Admitting your first guess may be off?”

The book had made me believe it was a necromancer. The choices of targets had opened the possibility of human trafficking, and now the corpse made it look like a vampire. All that was left now was for a painting to show up, and I would bet on the Artist.

“Never mind,” I muttered, “let’s go take a look.”

I put in place the strongest perception field I could manage without straining myself, and we made our way out. It didn’t take long for us to arrive at the graveyard, where Max and I started poking around. I felt a little guilty snooping through somebody else’s possessions like this, but we were doing it for a good cause.

Roland was distracting the lady who ran the place in the meanwhile. Once she had let us in, I had removed ourselves from her perception entirely. At this point, I thought this was a waste. Roland was right, it was unlikely she was the culprit.

Still, I wouldn’t drop my guard.

Hours later, we started making our way back to our residence empty-handed. We had thoroughly checked the place, but had nothing to show for it.

That was when we heard a shrill scream coming from somewhere to our right.

The sun had set, and it was clouded over, the only light guiding us was from a spell which Max was maintaining. The glow it gave out was dull and did little to light the way forward, but it was enough that I didn’t feel the need to make a light of my own.

“That way,” I pointed, then started to run, shrouded in a veil of secrecy.

The footfalls of the others followed behind me. Sprinting down the alley, I came to an intersection. Taking a guess, I went left. There were a few winding turns before I came to a dead end. The three of us retraced our steps, then took the other path.

Soon it became clear that the source of the scream was gone.

“Girlie, can you do something to see around us?” Max asked, “Praesi sorcerers can scry, but we don’t know how it works.”

Frowning, I thought it over. When I still thought of what I was doing as replicating powers, I had tried many thinker powers and none of them had worked. Eventually I had given up the effort as futile. I hadn’t experimented with sensing the world around me, though. I had seen enough that I didn’t want to see for one lifetime, to not want to invade everyone’s privacy a second time around.

The failed attempts at other thinker powers had at worst given me a headache, so I saw no harm in making the attempt.

“I don’t know. Give me a moment, I’ll try.”

I focused on the impression of seeing everything. Memories of the fight with Scion were still burned into my mind, and I doubted they would ever go away. It wasn’t scrying, but it was the closest comparison I could think of. So long as I was able to see a person struggling against an assailant, I would have a lead for us to go on.

To my surprise, instead of finding no purchase, my will struck against a barrier. That meant it was something I could do. If there had been no sense of resistance at all, I would have known that the attempt was futile. I pushed. There was a force pressing against me, it was strong, stronger than with anything else I had attempted. It didn’t matter. Even though I hadn’t been under the effect of the power for long, the memories were still vivid. I kept struggling.

My attempt went through.

Suddenly, I could see the world around me inside my sphere of influence in perfect clarity. Then, before I could take note of what I saw, my vision rippled outwards.

Distantly, I felt my body fall to its knees. My mind seemed to drift out of it, floating somewhere else.

The others were shaking my shoulders urgently, undisguised concern wracked their faces.

At that point, I realized that I was looking beyond the boundaries of creation. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise. Clairvoyant had not been limited to looking into a single world, so why would my attempt to mimic him be?

There were more dimensions than I could count beside me. Some, I assumed, were hells and filled with all manner of atrocities. They were not what I focused on.

I should have been more cautious.

It hadn’t occurred to me that I should have been more afraid of success than failure.

Hovering around in a place that was not a place, there was a faceless, implacable sea of figures looming over my shoulders. Their mere presence was overwhelming, so unfathomably suffocating that I felt like I was buried under a mountain.

While they may have been much smaller than the multitude of earths I had once observed, their substance had a depth to it which was not comparable at all.

My body was rapidly growing fatigued from the effort of maintaining the effect, but I couldn’t shut it off. There was too much information bombarding me at once, to the point where I felt like I was floating away from who I was. Without a passanger to help me interpret it all, I was simply drowning in data.

Too...much...

The beings didn’t seem to be aware of me watching them, and their attention seemed to be focused elsewhere, but that didn’t take away the naked fear that their appearance alone evoked.

Angels, they have to be.

Merely observing them, I could feel a wave of compassion wash over me. It was a sensation so rich that it was almost nauseating. The sense came to me that these…entities would almost never move themselves to hurt anyone, despite being capable of crushing most opponents instantly.

It felt like the purest expression of a mother’s love.

It was idealistic in a way that I couldn’t possibly understand. There was nobody, no matter how awful, that these beings wouldn’t offer compassion to. From the smallest insect to the greatest tyrant, all were deserving of their attention. It was a silent promise that they would always be there for anyone who approached. Either as a shoulder to cry on or an ear that would listen. Right then, I knew just from a glance that they wouldn’t turn away from me, and it scared me how much I desired that.

… Simply being noticed by an Angel would probably kill me, and despite knowing that, I was still so very tempted to reach out to them.

I clung desperately to my sanity, trying not to give in to the call. The idea that compassion could be addictive had never occurred to me. The sheer craving that the figures evoked was all the evidence I required to prove to myself that it could be. It sent shivers down my body’s spine.

It was as if the choir was singing a symphony telling Creation that “this is the way the world should be.”

I had never before felt so utterly terrified in response to an impression that was so nice.

The feather-light touch of an empathic aura weighing more than a galaxy continued to engulf me as my body scrunched itself up into a ball and wept at the unfairness of it all. I was like a moth sitting next to a candle, knowing that to have the light I would need to let myself go up in flames.

Moments later, as the strain on my body reached its limit, I felt myself black out.