WHAT REMAINS OF ME

Hinata's POV

I remembered that when I was younger, I used to envision love as something pure and magical. I would look at my parents' relationship with dreamy eyes, wishing that someday, somehow, I could also experience that kind of love. It was kind, patient, supportive, and a lot more. 

I used to sing hymns of love with a hopeful heart, trying to woo the universe to let me have my knight in shining armor. A prince charming who will sweep me off my feet. Someone who could give me the whole castle and not just a portion of it. I was a fairytale fanatic, I knew. But hey! I was young and I was naive. It's funny how the universe can uproot me from that fantasy land and put me right back in reality. 

I stared at the girl in the mirror. My heart was enveloped with a sudden burst of pain as I could no longer recognize her. Her eyes were red and swollen, framed by damp lashes that clung together like broken threads. Her nose was pink, and her lips slightly trembled from trying to hold back another sob. Her shoulders drooped, heavy with the weight of emotion, and though the tears had stopped, the sadness still lingered in her gaze like a shadow that refused to leave. She was exhausted. She was me. 

"Is this what love should look like?" I asked myself, trying to decipher my previous perspective of it and the one I was facing right now. 

It shouldn't hurt this much. 'Cause if it's hurting me, then I guess it's the wrong kind of love. I shouldn't be experiencing this because I am loved dearly by my parents, friends, and people whom I hold dearly in my heart. Except the one person I want to be with, Zeke. 

I wiped my cheek as another batch of tears fell. I was a dumb person. I used to pride myself on those academic achievements- medals, certificates, recognition. A lot of people would say that I am the most intelligent person in the room, but why am I being stupid in this love department? Is this a curse that I needed to bear in exchange for the knowledge I was born with?

I slapped my face and smiled when I felt the sting of pain. I must be crazy for being a sucker for pain, but I knew that I needed this one. I needed a good slap to wake up from this absurdity. I am more than this. I am Hinata Marie Salvacion-Smith. And I would no longer tolerate disrespect from anyone, not even from my husband. 

A new surge of empowerment quickened my heart pulse. I felt more alive than ever. 

I immediately took charge of myself. I took a quick shower, put on a nice sunny dress, and applied some makeup on my face. Once I was satisfied with my look, I put my sunglasses on and called the one person I knew could put up with what I'm about to do. It only took one ring when the person on the other end answered my call. I smiled. This one never disappoints. 

"Hey! Are you up for something nice today?"