Well at Least I’m a Magic Pirate Now

Sarenith 24

“So if you’re first mate,” Conchobar asked, “then who’ll be captain?”

“Oh, yeah.” Caulky replied, “Plugg, obviously.”

Caulky’s smug smile faltered as her dark eyes flitted from face to face. I forced my features into a neutral mask, but Syl’s alabaster eyes narrowed at the mention of Plugg. Conchobar managed a diplomatic “ah.”

Rosie, dear girl, was substantially less subtle.

“Shit, that asshole?” She complained, “you sure you can’t turn it down? No way anything good will come from having him at the helm.”

“Oh, he’s not that bad.” Caulky assured us, blushing, “he’s a wee bit harsh but he knows his stuff.”

“Besides,” I noted to Rosie, “turning down an opportunity like this is a great way to make sure you don’t get any more. Most employers are annoyed if you turn down a promotion; at best they assume you lack ambition.”

“Right! That.” Caulky agreed with me nervously. “Anyway. Uh. I already told the Captain who I wanted. So. You’ll be coming onto the Man’s Promise to get it squibbed.”

“Thanks for asking first.” Syl said, deadpan. “I feel so seen.”

“Think of it this way, guys.” I suggested, “we are probably getting paid for this, and it’s probably not going to be as dangerous or unpleasant as actively hunting ships. So, what exactly is on the agenda, Caulky? What’s it mean to get a ship squibbed?”

“Oh. Yeah.” She answered, rallying, “Taking the Man’s Promise was technically illegal. They were flying the Master of Gales’ colors, and they were headed to Sargava. The cap’n doesn’t want to pick a fight with the Master or ol’ Bonefist, so we need this ship unrecognizable and in someone else’s hands.”

“Oh” Conchobar squeaked, “so until it’s fixed up, the whole ship has a target on its back?”

“Enough negativity, guys!” I commanded, “we’ll make it work, right Caulky? You’ll be a great first mate.”

Plugg will be a lot easier to slip away from at port, or ambush, or maroon. Sorry Caulky, if he pulls any more shit I’m not taking it lying down. 

••••••••••

For most of the next day the ships remained close to one another as cargo, living and inert, was transferred between the two. I got in my cardio from running back and forth, and strength training from hauling boxes. Owlbear went up a few notches in the crew’s estimation as he moved supplies with ease. With Rosie at his side, patiently directing him on where to go whenever he was confused, he was able to do the work of four men.

I trusted Autopilot to handle the strenuous task of picking things up and putting them down in other places, so I lost myself in my menus. My darkness bubble trick was apparently impressive enough for the quest, so I had a completed mission in my log.

Best to let that one sit for now. If it’s a hand mirror that’s great, but I don’t want to have to explain a huge floor length mirror to Harrigan or Peppery. 

A bit more of a surprise was Taker of a Thousand Ships. I’d been part of the boarding party, so apparently participation was enough for that achievement. The resulting perk was absolutely delightful: The Leadership Sphere.

It was a complex feat, but it had two main benefits. The first was maxing out my Diplomacy skill; it wasn’t a class skill so it was still Autopilot’s weakest area, but came up often enough that I was thrilled. The juicy part, however, was the Followers Package. Essentially, I had an extra 15 slots for “lesser” party members.

If a party member was a partner, followers were more like employees. Fate would nudge them towards staying or meeting up with me, but it was a relatively light touch. They’d be marginally harder to kill, slightly luckier, and had a level one commoner character sheet. If that replaced their normal skills it would be pretty abysmal, but Conchobar could still use his magic so it seemed to be all upside. Of course, he was only a viable pick because he was level one; followers couldn’t be more than half my level, which severely impacted my recruitment pool at level 3. Even Jack was too beefy to recruit at the moment, though Owlbear could be demoted to follower status if I felt so inclined.

I might drop Owlbear down. He’s a good guy but he doesn’t want to fight, and most of the difference between followers and party members is how good they are at fighting. It’s a waste to keep him in the role if he’s not interested in the primary job description. I’ll only swap him out when I’ve lined up a replacement, of course.

My other two missions were to kill Harrigan and save Sosima Aulamaxa, neither of which seemed particularly actionable at the moment. I was increasingly suspicious that the Harrigan mission was a trap, after seeing him tear apart a dozen marines yesterday. I wasn’t ready to go all in with a mirror based assassination, given the likely massive backlash if I did so. Murder Harrigan was a dead quest for the foreseeable future. I dismissed both to free up space.

Of course, Plugg is a different story. If I get a mission to kill him I seriously might. It could even count as self defense if you squint hard enough. 

I had 8 missions left for this arc according to the tracker in my quest log, and was currently at 12 exp. The known quests were to save Lady Aulamaxa, save Aaron Ivey, kill Harrigan, and get my own ship. I couldn’t meaningfully work towards any of them in my current position.

From what I’ve seen, at least some of those unknown quests are probably going to be fairly doable but time sensitive. I need 18 total experience to reach level 4, and I’m probably not squeezing 6 exp out of 4 quests. I’m not getting much stronger than I am now until I get some autonomy. It’s time to start planning a mutiny, or at least an escape. Also, time to start coming up with a plausible reason to make a beeline to a ghoul infested island the moment we are free. I’m still not sure if I want to say I have voices in my head telling me where to go and showering me with presents. 

“Avast!” Harrigan barked at me, “Mister M’Dair! Stop daydreaming and get over here!”

Startled from my thoughts, I hastened to obey. Plans for mutiny or not, Harrigan was still the big man on campus.

“Yes sir?” I said as I approached, “did you need something?”

“Peppery says ye aren’t daft, Kroop says ye know your letters an’ numbers, an’ me own eyes tell me you can keep yer head.” He said brusquely, “I think you're officer material. You’ll be quartermaster for the Man’s Promise until it’s sold off.”

I blinked a few times, hoping my sunglasses would help hide my shock.

“Oh. Thank you sir.” I said. “Anything I should know about the position?”

“Check in with Grok,” he ordered, “she’ll set ye straight. Learn fast, we’ve work to do an we can’t do it here. Ye’ve got one day.”

••••••••••

I made my way down to Grok’s quarters for training, and found her sorting through the booty. Bolts of cotton, boxes of spices, iron tools, and more had been “liberated” from the Man’s Promise, and as the quartermaster it was Grok’s job to keep track of it all.

“Congratulations, lad.” Grok said with a distracted air, pausing to scratch a few numbers into her ledger, “I’d love to give you details, but I’m a bit busy at the moment.”

“Too busy to talk?” I asked, “I don’t necessarily need an in depth explanation. Can you just walk me through what you’re doing right now, maybe explain why?”

“I’m cataloging everything that came onto the ship,” she explained as she returned to her task, “tallying up my best guess as to its value, and writing where it’s being kept. The voluntary recruits are allowed their personal belongings, of course, but most of this is held by the captain, at least until payday.”

“Is payday your responsibility too?” I asked.

“Mostly.” She confirmed, “It’s partially my job to find buyers for most of this crap. I know a few good fences in most ports we frequent. Harrigan and I split any excess at the end of the day, but I eat any deficit. It’s better to guess low than to get extravagant.”

The men’s shares are based on the initial estimate. A good salesman could print money if they were even a little bit dishonest. Of course, that would fall apart if the crew realized they were getting screwed. 

Grok wasn’t a very good teacher, but I was able to tease the job description out of her. In addition to being in charge of payroll, acquisitions, and budgeting, the quartermaster kept track of various supplies. The cook handled food, the gunner tracked ammunition, and the mage tracked any important magic items like the engine, but the quartermaster was supposed to double check their work and keep their own separate records. Naturally, some things like the supply of extra rope and sail cloth were entirely the quartermaster’s responsibility.

In the event that it was needed, I could also serve as a ship mage, but it seemed unlikely. The “engine” of the Man’s Promise had been a woman whose specialty had been making the wind blow. I’d seen her gutted by Harrigan during the attack, so it seemed unlikely that she’d be reporting in for work any time soon. We still had perfectly functional sails, and that would be enough to get us to port.

••••••••••

That night, Caulky escorted me to my new room on the Man’s Promise. As an officer, ostensibly in the top five most important people on the ship, I had my own cabin. Plugg had taken the VIP merchant’s quarters for himself, and Caulky had secured the Captain’s cabin, leaving me with a lovely little apartment near the kitchen that had once belonged to the first mate.

The first mate’s personal possessions had been gathered, examined, and marked for sale, so my new quarters were largely bare. The room was about the size of a walk-in closet, and the only furniture was a bolted down wooden chest and a thick sleeping mat. It wasn’t the kitchen, but I could probably invite a few girls over to play cards.

“It looks good.” I said, “did our crew move over already?“

“Sandara and the rest?” She clarified, “I think so. There’s a lot of space in the hold without cargo, so they seem to be spreading out more.”

“Great, I’ll go check on them.” I said, “Congratulations on your promotion, by the way.”

“Thanks for giving me tha’ chance!” She replied cheerily, “I’ll pay ye back, don’t ye worry.”

Caulky and I parted ways. I wanted to speak frankly with my dinner companions, away from anyone likely to have excessive loyalty to Harrigan. Sandara had mentioned that there were certain times and places where mutiny was forbidden, which meant that it was implicitly endorsed in the right context. If I played my cards right and made my move when we were in sight of land, I was fairly confident that I could stay in Sandara’s good graces. I was substantially less certain about a certain former cabin girl.

I didn’t have much mechanical sway with Caulky, and she’d been in the fleet for years. She seemed like the loyal sort, was already making excuses for Plugg, and I didn’t want to lean too hard on fate to pull me through any conflict. To top it off, she was an unholy terror in combat. If she sided with Plugg against me, she could shred my party. Even if she stayed out of it, I’d be one man down.

I noted that Syl, Conchobar, Owlbear, and Rosie were sitting together in a corner. The skeleton crew consisted of twenty people plus officers. I noted that Cog was present, but he was the only other pressganged individual. The rest were experienced sailors, already on the ship before I arrived, and Rowe. I suspected that Plugg had chosen his crew based on who he believed would be most loyal to him, which meant as many people as possible who had chosen to be on this ship. Harrigan would have his hands full controlling a crew of Rahadoumi sailors and half trained conscripts, but he had more experience controlling an unruly crew. (Sense Motive roll 17+1=18) 

Hopefully Plugg isn’t planning anything. I assume he is, and will try to plan appropriately, but I really hope I don’t need to fight Plugg, Scourge, and more than a dozen sailors all at once. 

Cog moved to intercept me on my way to the small huddle. He wore a scowl on his face, which I sincerely hoped was not directed at me.

“Emrys. I need to talk to you.” He said bluntly.

“Sure,” I answered, “what about?”

“Two things, really.” He said, “can you get me off of this ship? There’s no money in ferrying goods.” I hope you believe that’s why, since it’s true, plausible, and less incriminating than my real reason. (Opposed Sense Motive 13+1=14)

Plausible indeed. Jack dipped out as quickly as possible, and I didn’t feel like fighting to keep him back. He’s a professional, but I’m not particularly attached to him. Doesn’t seem like Cog’s speed though. 

“Ah yes, good ol’ profit motivated Cog,” I noted, unimpressed, “I’ll ask, but I don’t think I actually have much authority here. What else?”

“I heard you might want to be a captain.” He began, “if you want that, you’d need a sponsor. I think I know someone who might be interested in hiring someone like you, assuming Harrigan left a bad taste in your mouth.”

“I’m listening.” I answered, “how do you know someone like that?”

“They worked with my mom.” He explained with a shrug. “If you go to the House of Stolen Kisses in Quent and tell them I sent you, they might be willing to give you an interview.”

The House of Stolen Kisses is the largest temple of Callistria in the Shackles. If this man’s mother worked there, she is likely to be a servant or a prostitute. If she personally knows people capable of serving as sponsors to us, she is likely in the priesthood. The Church of Callistria would be a potent ally, but would expect substantially more loyalty than we are showing Harrigan at this time. As the goddess of vengeance, a double cross would be punished severely as a matter of faith. (Knowledge Religion 20+2=22 critical success)

“I’ll keep it in mind.” I answered neutrally, “I intend to shop around a bit but I’m glad that you thought of me. Actually, would you like to join me and my friends for a chat? You seem a bit distant, and if I can’t get you out of this trip we’ll all be together for quite a while.”

If I do drop Owlbear, I’ll need to replace him with another front liner. Cog might qualify. If not him, maybe Rowe? It’s that, or see what I can pull off with summoning. 

“I hope you aren’t trying to drag me into something stupid.” Cog grumbled.

“Don’t worry about it.” I assured him, “even if it’s stupid, I intend to at least make sure it’s well thought out.”