Well at Least I’m a Magic Pirate Now

Saraneth 20, Sunday

Water drummed on the deck around noon, pouring down upon the men and seeping through their clothing layer by layer. The men lucky or wealthy enough to have oilcloth coats were bundled up as much as possible, holding off the worst of the wet chill their less fortunate companions faced. Despite all that, Kroop laughed when I noted the hard rain.

“You really haven’t been at sea before, have you?” He chortled. “This is the Shackles, lad. The only reason the Free Captains set up shop was that the weather killed half the people who tried to sail here. This is just a drizzle.”

I convinced Patch, a gnomish veteran chosen to replace Scourge as Bosun, to let everyone come inside for their water break. I figured that a few minutes out of the rain would be worth more than the drink where morale was concerned, and she was relatively sociable compared to her predecessor.

“Jack,” I called the lanky man over while he drank, "do you have a minute?”

He finished taking a long pull from the glass bottle, then met my eyes. “Alright.” He grumbled, “What do you need?”

“I’m looking into finding someone to resurrect Sandara.” I said. “Given that you’re on the short list of people she’d be focused on in combat, I’m hoping you’ll be willing to help out.”

“Doesn’t the captain have that covered?” He asked, “Seriously, if someone is powerful enough to bring back the dead and doesn’t want to be found, they might just kill you.”

“Five gold if you help look anyway?” I countered, “I’m not planning on threatening him, just pointing the captain his way.”

It wouldn’t be my intent, but would getting Harrigan killed might count for that one mission? I’d consider that a decent consolation prize. Then I kill Plugg and Scourge in the confusion, and hopefully I can move on with my life and my party. It’d suck giving up on Sandara, but if I don’t at least admit this might fail it’ll hurt that much more. 

“I’m getting a surprise day of leave.” He scoffed , “Five gold ain’t worth it. Not even close.”

“Alright.” I said, “No hard feelings. Anyone else up for a scavenger hunt?”

The group supplied a motley collection of excuses, most promising to keep an eye out and ask around, but none committing to any kind of coordinated action. They were sympathetic, they hoped I’d succeed, but that didn’t translate to action.

••••••••••

Jack was not the first to turn down my bribe, nor would he be the last. Most of the crew didn’t want to burn a day off chasing a dream, and half of the people that Sandara hung out with were on orders to seek out new talent. They told me they’d help if they could, but they would be too busy kidnapping drunk people.

That’s the most legitimate excuse anyone has given me. I need to get off this fucking ship. 

After asking most of the forty people on the crew, I had my party, my lunch group, five of Sandara’s friends, and a dwarf named Narwhal Tate, who needed to pay off a gambling debt. Twelve people, myself included. I couldn’t afford to pass up any potential backers, so I grudgingly considered Cog’s terms during dinner prep. Kroop was making a slightly larger meal for the crew that day; the ship’s stores would be replenished on Scourge’s dime in Goatshead. I sautéed the onions and didn’t worry about the big picture. I was becoming accustomed to my role as an extension of Kroop’s will; it was a comfortable and easy part to play. (Profession: Chef 16+4=20 success!)

_Why am I so upset? Sure, I like her, but I only met her a couple weeks ago. We weren’t even particularly close friends yet, even if we were headed that way. Is it because I lost my healer? Am I that shallow? Maybe because her death blindsided me? The sight of her bleeding out still ambushes me if I let my mind wander; that might be it. Sounds kinda weak though. I honestly don’t think I’d care half this much if Jack died. Fuck, is it because I wanted to get her in bed? That’s even worse than the healer thing. _

I turned my heart over in my head, seriously trying to pick apart the knot of emotions. I didn’t find him particularly endearing just then, but the gym rat might have been on to something. I felt a little better after I untangled my feelings. I approached him during dinner, an act which he tolerated gracefully.

“I have my answer.” I told him. “Why I’m so pissed about this.”

“Oh?” He said levelly, taking a bite of his stew. “Why’s that?”

“Because I had a beautiful, strong, fun woman who was ready to back me up and she fucking died.” I griped. “I had plans, and almost all of them included her. Some of them might have been dumb, some of them probably wouldn’t have panned out, and I’ll admit a lot of them boiled down to her being pretty and useful. I liked what I saw of her personality, but I don’t know if I’d have even talked to her if she wasn’t a hot girl with magic. Happy now?”

“I dunno.” Cog asked, “should I be?”

“Fuck if I know. I don’t know what you want.” I shot back. “I can tell you this much: I’m not going to apologize about it. I was invested because she seemed like the kind of person who’d be into it, you know? Instead, right as I was starting to get a feel for this new life one of the potential pillars for it got swept out from under me.”

I was venting my frustration by this point, and it honestly felt good. I’d been wrapped up in the part I was playing since I got here. I didn’t reveal the more esoteric parts of my situation to Cogward, but I didn’t hide any of my feelings. At that moment, I didn’t care if he liked me. I hoped he would help, but I didn’t know what his standards were. Maybe I could have had autopilot spin him a tale of heartbreak and woe, but I just didn’t have it in me to sit through that.

“So, what if she comes back and decides that one death is enough?” Cog asked, “done with the ocean, done with anything that would align the two of you?”

“Talk her into staying if I could, get over it if I couldn’t,” I answered automatically, “I’m an adult. I’d be kinda pissed, yeah, but what am I going to do, force her to be my personal cleric? She’d gut me if I tried to stop her from doing what she wants. It just wouldn’t be viable even if I wanted to be an asshole.”

“Alright,” Cog nodded. “I’m in. I think I might know a few locals. I’ll talk to them and see if I can get any leads.”

“Seriously?” I asked, excited. “That’s great!”

“Yeah. I’m a saint. Are we done here?” He dismissed me. “Remember that bit about being an adult, if things don’t go your way.”

••••••••••

I inhaled my blob of fish paste before scurrying upstairs. I was eager to touch base with my lunch group to figure out how to approach our investigation, and I wanted to invite my last party member along. Caulky usually stayed aloof from the crew, but I didn’t want a purely professional relationship with her. You can’t force it, but everyone knows that teams work together best if they know each other well. Plus, if she made friends with any of my other party members, she’d be more likely to stick with us. I wasn’t willing to rely entirely on Never Split the Party for HR.

I was planning on keeping Caulky around for the long haul. Looking over her character sheet, she had another Cohort class. In this case pirate, which seemed like the kind of thing I wanted on my team if I was planning on establishing my own startup. In terms of noncombat skills, her profession: (sailor) skill was better than Sandara’s, on par with my bluff skill. Since that single skill somehow managed to cover everything from coiling rope properly to charting a course through perilous waters, keeping her around would pay dividends. She could also swim, steal, sneak, pick locks, and generally cover the thief role as well as I could. It would be really nice to have a brawler with me if I ever found myself sneaking into somewhere unfriendly.

She was a fairly strong melee combatant, as she’d demonstrated before Sandara’s death. If she could catch someone off guard she did extra damage with her sword, and any successful hit would cause a damage over time effect that would persist until treated. Basic first aid could do the job, but damage is damage.

Her biggest weakness was piss poor charisma; from what I’d seen so far, she got flustered when I suggested she was trying to sleep with me. I assume she was trying to intimidate me when she pinned me to the wall, but if so she royally missed her target. Even knowing from her character sheet that she could probably 1v1 more than half the crew, she just didn’t feel scary.

That’s not to say I felt comfortable knocking on her bedroom door, just that I was more nervous about Harrigan than her. She was still busy playing the part of a waitress for the officers when I arrived, pouring drinks and cleaning the table, so she couldn’t spare much time to chat.

“Sorry to interrupt.” I said quickly, “We are working out our plan to search Goatshead, and we’d really like your input.” (+1 sway with “Caulky” Tarroon)

Huh. Starved for recognition, or just a huge fan of strategic meetings?

“Fine. I’ll be down later.” She shooed me out of her room, “Just don’t get drunk while I finish here.”

Back in the crew’s berth, I met with my dozen fellows. They were milling about and shooting the shit. A lot of the chatter seemed loosely related to Sandara or our generation, but it was unfocused speculation and rabbit holes. We needed to coordinate.

“I’m telling you, we need to check if Besmara’s Wink is in port. With a name like that, Dancing Darla has to be devout.”

“I heard half the island had a bounty on their head from the council; you think we should drag Marco along just so he doesn’t piss someone off and get killed?”

“You think we’ll be done in time for me to visit a tailor?”

“Quiet.” I commanded, forceful enough to draw attention without shouting. “We are here to discuss Sandara’s potential resurrection. I’ve invited Ms. Tarroon along to help us avoid overlap with the Captain’s standard methods. Toppin, lend me your slate.” (Intimidate 20+9=29, critical success) (+1 sway with Samms Toppin, Rosie Cusswell, Syl Lonegan, Conchobar Shortstone, Crimson Cogward, Giffer Tibbs, Tilly Brackett, Aretta Bansion)

Uh. Apparently taking charge gets people to respect you. Who knew?

I continued as I began, laying out our objectives (avoiding unnecessary danger, finding someone who could resurrect Sandara, and finding some viable alternative if possible), and soliciting advice on how to proceed. I mostly served as a moderator, keeping the team from running out into the reeds.

“Cog says he is going to talk to some friends.” I shut down one complaint, "If he wants to go alone, I say we let him. Not everyone is doing this for coin; if his plan is just to slip away from the crew he wouldn’t need some elaborate story. He’d just fuck off.”

“Think of it this way,” Cog said, deadpan. “None of you were planning on talking to my friends anyway. If I’m lying, I’m just wasting all of our time, and anything else you say about me is also just wasting all our time.”

Besmara’s Wink was a flagship for one of the three pirate lords of Goatshead. She was known to keep multiple servants of the Pirate Queen on staff, and with any luck Dancing Darla or one of her pet clerics would have a soft spot for a young priestess cut down before her time. We had half a dozen plans kicking around by the time Caulky arrived and shot three down. Not because they were bad ideas, but because Harrigan already had them covered. She earned her keep just by saving us from wasted effort.

“Hey, Caulky.” I said as the group started to break up, “Syl and I were going to chat in the kitchen for a while, maybe play cards.”

“I should probably get to bed.” She yawned. “We want to be rested for everything tomorrow, right?”

“I’ve got a spell that’ll help with that,” I caught her eye and silently used my Charm ability. “It lets us go without sleep for a while; it’s really nice to get a few hours without anything urgent to do.” (Bluff 15+19=34 vs Sense Motive 7+1=8) 

She let out a sigh, tension leaving her face. “You know what, that does sound like a fine way to spend the night.”

The two girls followed me to the kitchen, where I cast Keep Watch on each of them before exercising. I checked in with Owlbear for a few minutes, but I was more focused on establishing rapport with Caulky. I didn’t have any particularly exciting plans for the evening, just card games with a new friend and my not-girlfriend.

Under the effects of my charm she saw me as her best friend, and if I didn’t do anything to cause dissonance she wouldn’t think anything of it. Even after the spell wore off, she was relaxed enough to share a radiant smile and an easy laugh. Her expressive eyes gave away every thought in her head if she wasn’t actively bluffing. I wasn’t complaining; half the time when I looked her way she was ogling either me or Syl.

Yep. Definitely keeping her around. I just need to get her to relax around us without using magic and we are golden. 

I checked my mission log around midnight, and was unsurprised to find a mission specifically in Goatshead.

Make a large purchase of at least 1000 gp while in Goatshead. 

Reward: Medallion of the Open Book

No, the surprise was another completed mission: the big ally making mission. Without thinking about it I’d enlisted Cog and Conchobar, which secured the Craft Magical Arms and Armor feat for myself.

Hell yeah. I’m a real magic man now. Marketable and shit. 

The other two missions were nothing I’d be doing in the next 24 hours. A reminder that Sosima Aulamaxa was on Bonewrack Isle, and a suggestion that I go into business for myself.

Become the owner of your own ship

Reward: Diverse Talent 

I was going to be busy that day. Even the big spender mission would be taking a back seat. If there was anyone to find in Goatshead, I intended to find them.