NOVEL WEB Chapter 98 - Smile
Smile
“Meg, are you okay?”
I nodded, burrowed under the covers, in response to Gil-san’s words. Because if I spoke, my voice would tremble.
“…Call me if you need anything.”
After a moment of silence, Gil-san said this and left the room. He must have known that something was wrong. That it wasn’t a physical illness.
I apologized in my heart. The room was silent.
“Uuu… Aaaaaahhhh!!”
But I buried my face in the pillow and cried loudly, making sure not to let my voice escape the room.
Dad’s alive.
I saw Dad.
But what about me? I’m not Megu. Why? Why won’t things go my way?
If only I could just tell him that I’m Megu. It would make things so much easier. But he’d be confused too. He’d want to know what happened to Megu’s body. What if he rejected me, said that I wasn’t Megu?
These thoughts kept going round and round in my head, and I didn’t know what to do anymore, so I just I cried and cried.
And when I finally came to, I was asleep, having cried myself out.
『Did you hear? About Hasegawa…』
Was that… one of my coworkers…? It felt nostalgic.
『Yeah. Acute heart failure, apparently. It’s obviously a death from overwork.』
—Eh? What are you… talking about…?
『This company… they really do think of people as disposable pawns. This incident made it clear.』
『That’s right… I knew it was a black company, but I’d convinced myself that it was probably the same everywhere.』
『I’d even started to think that this was normal. Before I knew it.』
『It’s scary how you get numb to it all. Working yourself to exhaustion every day, you lose the ability to even think… 』
『Yeah… I’m going to see a doctor.』
What are you talking about? What do you mean…?
『She’d been absent without leave for a couple of days, so I thought she’d finally snapped… but maybe we didn’t even notice.』
『While she was asleep, huh? So young… I regret not being more aware of her situation.』
『She handled everything so efficiently, I thought she could handle anything, I relied on her too much. I should have known it was too much work. She always accepted so readily… we took advantage of her kindness.』
No… No, that, I…!
『We can’t let her death be in vain. We have to do something.』
『That’s right. To stop this from happening to anyone else.』
I, died…?
“…!”
I sat up abruptly. My heart was pounding.
“A dream… no, but I think…”
This was something that actually happened. I was certain.
I died. From overwork.
What had I done, after Dad disappeared? I’d pushed myself, lived recklessly. And because of that, I died.
It made it even harder to tell him. That I was Megu. What was I supposed to say, after dying for such a stupid reason?
“Hyu… ah… ah…”
Suddenly, I couldn’t breathe properly. Huh? How do you breathe? I’d never had to think about it before, but now I didn’t know how.
“Uu… ah…”
My breaths grew ragged. My mind was going blank. This is bad. I desperately called out to Fuu-chan.
『You called, Master? …Wait, Master!?』
It’s no use. I’d called out to it, but I was in too much pain to give it any instructions. I couldn’t even tell if my blurry vision was from the tears or because I was losing consciousness.
『W-Wait, Master! I’ll go get Nephry-san! 』
But Fuu-chan seemed to understand from my condition and acted accordingly. As expected of the Wind Spirit, communication only took a few seconds. Someone was rushing to my room.
“Meg!!”
Ah, it was Schlie-san. It’d been a while since I’d heard his voice.
“Gil! Get Ludo immediately!”
“I’ve already called for him!”
Ah, I made everyone worry again. I’m such a mess. I’m sorry, Meg. For putting such a strain on your body.
But I’m sorry. I’d been so shocked, I couldn’t believe that I was dead.
It hurts. It hurts. Not only was I unable to breathe, my heart was in pain.
I could sense the room becoming chaotic. I could hear Schlie-san, Gil-san, and Dr. Ludo, who’d arrived a little later. It felt like there were a few others in the room too, but I couldn’t tell. I was being carried, and they were putting something over my mouth? But the pain wouldn’t subside.
—Someone, please help me.
I’d never been able to tell anyone those words. But now, I kept screaming them in my heart.
I wasn’t sure how much time had passed. It felt like a long time, but maybe that was just because I’d been in so much pain. Maybe it had only been a few minutes.
“There, there. Meg, it’s okay. We’re all here.”
It seemed like Dr. Ludo was cradling me. I was still in my room. Judging from how he was sitting cross-legged on the floor, I must have collapsed. I was vaguely thinking about such things, feeling drowsy.
“She’s calmed down…”
“Is Meg okay?”
Gil-san and Schlie-san’s voices, filled with relief. I was exhausted, so I closed my eyes, just listening to their voices.
“Maybe something triggered her memories. It could be a past memory, or something else, we don’t know. Hyperventilation can be really scary, but she’s fine.”
“I’m glad… There are many possible causes. It could be connected to what I was investigating.”
“About the High Elves, you mean?”
“Yes. I plan to tell everyone about it tonight, along with the Don.”
Tonight? Was it about me? If so, I wanted to hear it too. But would my heart be able to handle it? …No. Compared to the fact that I was already dead, everything else was trivial. No matter what I heard, I wouldn’t let it shake me.
Because I’d made up my mind. I was going to protect Meg, this body.
“…Um, I, I also want to heaw…”
“Meg…”
Everyone frowned, their eyebrows furrowing. Fufu, it’s strange, right? What am I even saying, in this state? I could tell they were worried. And I’d also be worried if I was in their shoes. But the reason they weren’t refusing outright was because they knew.
That this was about me. That even if I was a child, it was wrong to keep me in the dark, because I was the one involved.
“I’ll be fine, tonight. I’ll sleep pwoperly now.”
I’d just woken up from my nap, and I’d been sleeping all day, but if I wanted to attend that important discussion tonight, it was best to sleep some more. And I was tired after that hyperventilation episode.
“…Understood. I’ll tell the Don and everyone. But you have to keep your promise and rest properly, and one more thing.”
Schlie-san paused, came closer, knelt down, looked into my eyes, and smiled.
“Tell me what happened with the Spirit Magic, while I was gone.”
Ah, that’s right. I had to tell him about Homura-kun and about Shou-chan, currently at Nemo, on its first mission. I was grateful that he’d changed the subject.
He smiled kindly and stroked my head. His scent, that feeling of security, made my cheeks finally relax.
“I’m glad you’re finally smiling again. It’s okay, Meg. No matter what it is, we’re on your side.”
I didn’t know what kind of information he’d found at the Elven Village, but his words reassured me. It’ll be okay.
It was a smile that made me feel like maybe it would be okay to reveal my true self.