Chapter 13: Who are you?
[Target located. Div. Protocol... termination.] The automaton said as it approached Div.
"Hehehehehe" Div giggled to himself, staring at the automaton's head with a wide smile on his face. His body twitched suddenly every few seconds.
[Ready for termination of subject.] The automaton's sword-like arms were poised to pierce Div's skull. But Div did nothing as the blade went straight through his head and emerged on the other side.
The robot looked confused as its enemy remained alive, not only alive but smiling even wider.
"FOR THE GOD EMPEROR!" Div yelled as a gray substance began seeping from his arms, coating them. With it, he bent the blade lodged in his head, snapping it in half.
[Error. Damage detected.] The robot jumped back quickly, examining its damaged arm, now missing half of its blade, which was stuck in Div's head.
With the robot backing off, Div grabbed the remaining piece of the blade in his head and pushed it upward. It sliced through his scalp, but he didn't seem to notice or care. He then smashed the broken pieces together, and the gray substance coated the wound, completely healing it.
[Warning. Warning. Target level: Dangerous. Requesting bac—] Before it could finish, Div, like a wild animal, lunged at the automaton. With a powerful punch to its chest, combined with his 'shock touch' quirk, he blasted the robot through the wall and into the yard.
[Error. Error. Error. System damage. Error—] The automaton was defenseless, its chest and torso completely destroyed.
Div staggered toward the robot like a zombie, nearly collapsing with each step. When he reached it, he bit into its metallic body like an animal, trying to chew on a chunk of metal. Realizing it wasn't edible, he spat it out and began tearing the robot apart. Piece by piece, he dismantled it. When he reached its head, he punched it repeatedly until it was completely unrecognizable.
Once he was done, Div stood up from the wreckage of the automaton, breathing heavily. He wanted to go home and sleep, but his job wasn't finished. From the corner of his eye, he noticed multiple automatons approaching from behind. Adrenaline surged through him once again—he was ready for one more round.
.
.
.
.
Where am I? Looking around, I seem to be in a room full of mirrors. Everywhere I look, there's a mirror. Strange. The mirrors form a hallway. I walk through this endless, twisting corridor, and a question comes to mind... why am I so calm? Is this my mind? I remember seeing that Chaos symbol and just... letting my sanity go. Strange.
"You're the strange one here, buddy." Suddenly, a voice came from behind me. Turning around, I saw a mirror, but it didn't reflect me. Instead, it showed a man I knew too well. A dead man. A coward. A failure. He was grinning at me. I couldn't make out his face, though—I had tried to forget it, forget the failure I had been as a guardsman.
"So I was right. I'm inside my own head." I said, staring at the version of myself in the mirror.
"Oh, our genius finally figured that out! Wow! I'm surprised you still have a brain after seeing the horrors of being a guardsman!" the bastard said, laughing.
"Did you put me here, or...?"
"Or because you let go! And now some dumb animal of a brain is controlling your body. You really are an idiot, you know."
"You're really getting on my nerves."
"Oh, I'm on your nerves? I'm the one who's been stabilizing your mind, genius! You made me do this, and now you're saying I'm the problem?"
"Whatever, just shut up. I need to think." he said a valid point that I don't care about.
"You... you absolute fucking—"
"Am I a psyker now?" When I said that, he looked shocked that I figured it out.
"...Yes. How did you—"
"How did I figure that out? Simple. When I studied at the orphanage library and did some research online, I realized nobody knows where quirks come from. Sure, they alter DNA and have symptoms, but there's no explanation for where they originate. How can you explain a quirk that controls fire? You can't. It's not genetics—it's the soul. And if I'm right, by eating those quirk users, I'm absorbing their powers, meaning I'm absorbing their souls as well. I'm becoming a walking connection to the Warp or something like that... definitely not human anymore. Am I right?"
"Damn, you're still smart, huh? Did you dump all that trauma into that animal, or was it an accident?" he's still graining.
"Accident. A good accident. Now it can subconsciously use psyker abilities that I couldn't before, thanks to how much of a mess I became after my death."
"No, you becoming an dumbass started after the first war you had with Chaos. May I remind you it was both your first and last? You gave up halfway through."
"I was desperate, and I was slowly turning to the other side. Better to give up than to make a deal with a devil."
"True, true. So, what now?"
"I guess I'll stay here... and thanks for keeping me a little sane."
"Oh, now you're thanking me?"
"Be grateful I even thanked you, past me."
"Past me? Wait, who do you think I am?"
"Aren't you a persona of my old self? Here to mock my failures in this life?" he looks at me like I'm retarded.
"No. I'm your subconscious—the part that, as you said, lets the animal use its psyker abilities, like biomancy. I'm also the one keeping you sane. I take back what I said about you being smart; you're still an idiot."
"I... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be an asshole. It's just... when I see my old self, I remember all my failures. The way I died, the fact that I didn't achieve anything, even though I discovered many secrets of the Imperium. It still angers me that I accomplished nothing in that life. That's why I thought you were just a personality here to mess with me, to laugh at my pathetic attempts to make something of myself in this life."
"I accept the apology. I was rude too, so I understand why you thought that. But you didn't need a persona to remind you of your failures—you've been reminding yourself since we started talking."
"I guess so..." I sat down, leaning against a mirror.
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"So, how about telling me our life story? It might make you feel better."
"Why should I, when you are me? What's the point?"
"Don't fool yourself. You know it'll help."
"...I guess you're right."
"So, want to start?"
"Alright. I'll start from the beginning. My name was Ratibor Powl, born on a hive world in the lower parts. My destiny was decided before I even existed: to be another cog in the machine, working in factories until I died and became food. I never knew my parents. My mother died giving birth to me, and my dad died in a factory accident before I was born. I didn't care much. What I cared about was surviving. I lived in an orphanage, brainwashed to be cannon fodder for the Imperium. But I was smart, smarter than the other kids and even the adults. I pretended to be like them, a slave to the machine."
"You ran away before being sent to work, right?"
"Yeah, I ran away to the Underhive. It wasn't easy, but I survived in the anarchy down there. I lived on the streets, killed for food, and even became a cannibal."
"Weren't you horrified when you ate that kid in the orphanage?"
"No. That wasn't me. That was a personality I created. He's brainwashed, a slave while I am not. He doesn't know who he is or why he's so dedicated to them. I let him go because he's perfect for his job: just to kill. No need for morality."
"So, how did you get out of the streets?"
"I joined a cult. I was curious about the world, so I figured why not? Maybe there was more to cults than just being evil. I learned a lot about the Imperium and the 'God Emperor'—or as I prefer to call him, the 'Corpse Emperor.' I also learned about Chaos, and the more I learned, the more I hated it. I despised the Imperium for the shitty world I was born into, but I hated the Warp even more. Gods that only represent one thing? Are they even gods? They're just big demons sitting on their asses, doing nothing but destroying. In my despair, I killed everyone in the cult."
"And you ran away to become a guardsman."
"...Yes. And I died in my first battle. I didn't realize war could be so... horrifying. So I gave up. I let myself be killed, out of desperation and almost out of willingness to join what I hated."
"And with that, you dumped all your trauma into your devoted personality, the one that worships the Emperor, making him go feral like an animal at the sight of a Chaos symbol."
"Yeah, I guess I did."
"..."
"..."
"Feel better?"
"Yeah. A little."
"Good. But I have to ask, why don't you take control back? Why not come out?"
"Because... I hate fighting. So I share control with him. We become one when we're in control."
"But will you ever take full control?"
"Maybe someday... I don't know—" I stopped as I felt myself waking up.
"I guess you have to go, huh?"
"Yeah, it seems that way."
"Don't go feral again. I've already got a lot on my plate, and you coming back here only makes my job harder."
"I'll try. And... thank you." I smiled at him.
"Meh, just helping myself" he replied with a grin.
Before I knew it, everything around me lit up, and I woke up... in my room?