Wannabe Vampire Empress

Book 1 Ch 3: Zombie. Nope.



‘I’d imagine that you have a lot of questions. Since you would have only just arrived on this planet then we’ve got enough time to answer. Right, let’s get to it. You’ve been chosen to participate in a real war. Hard to tell how much an individual can actually achieve on your home planet but here you could eventually change the fate of the world or beyond. Or you could die. Quite a few times before it sticks but still.’

I responded. ‘You might be pre-recorded, but you’ve still been programmed to respond to my questions right.’

[Wannabe Vampire is partially correct. Please finish viewing.]

‘Right, you should have first been imprinted by the system with the impression of the guy who created a blood moon eclipse. Good stuff, right? I can tell you that he did that through his power. I’m sure you can do a lot more than that though. You have my full confidence and I sure hope that we got lucky with your selection. You better not turn out to be another zombie though. Even a bloodletter is a better choice.’

‘Hey!’ I shouted out. ‘What’s wrong with zombies?’

The man on the screen still looked serious with folded arms as he carried on talking as though he hadn’t heard me. Given that I was told by some disembodied voice that he was a pre-recording I doubt that he had, it was just that responses were given per some pretty advanced technology.

[Zombie is the base type. Lack of evolution options.]

‘Nope, any form of the undead has its advantages and disadvantages. Hey red suit screen guy, how are you talking to me anyway?’

‘The blood. It’s all in the blood. Not all technology is mechanical. You might be surprised but to baseline humans who remain non-enhanced, you’re looking at a blank screen. My responses have been selected through a process of hundreds of thousands of candidates. Sorry kid, you’re not some unique snowflake. If you like vampires and the idea of them, that’s the selection criteria. The rest of it depends on luck and genes.’

[Error found in the system. Phenotype not matching the database. Searching solution…]

I began to get annoyed at the man in the red suit on the screen now. Who did he think that he was to kidnap me and bring me to this place? I liked vampires, more than my friends did but sure I enjoyed learning about the myth and knowledge.

‘System, if this guy is meant to be giving me an intro, then why can’t you give me a character sheet?’

[System error found. Apologies, for searching for a solution.]

He mentioned that candidates were selected by an interest in vampires. That would mean that my friends and possibly everyone else who was watching the vampire film were in a similar situation as me.

‘Hey, red man, do you know if my friends arrived with me?’

The red-suited man paused for a moment and the screen flickered for a second.

‘Hi, kiddo. One moment, the system has found an issue in your genes. It’s trying to work it out. And yes, this message has been pre-recorded and altered according to current circumstances. I hope that you’re still inside the cinema listening to me on the screen right now. You do not want to go outside without some form of biological enhancement. Seriously.’

The system voice echoed inside my head again.

[Error. Class Solution found. Partial transformation is possible. Error. Source fault.]

I frowned upon hearing that. If anyone was going to be turned into a vampire it ought to be me, all those powers at my disposal would be a lot of fun.

‘Hey system, can you appear in front of my eyes rather than keep shouting inside my head?’

[Visual option activated.]

The words appeared as a sort of floating text box instead. Huh. I waved my hand at it, and it vanished again. Like a fancy kind of hologram that I once saw in a science museum back when I had been a kid attending a Halloween experience. I and my ghouls loved it.

‘I’m still expecting some sort of answer here. I fell asleep during a film, get woken up and receive footage dumped in my head of someone who can move moons. Yeah, and he looks inhumanely hot doing so. Unless all the blood is rushing to my head right now and not somewhere else.’

‘Sorry about that. A few changes have been made to your genetic structure, or rather whatever makes up your blood. It’s pretty active right now. Your blood I mean. Your new system has now confirmed with me that some sort of error was found but it’s been resolved now. I’m guessing that you have questions though, let me try and run through them with the time that we have left. Firstly, you know that you’ve been chosen and recruited for war. The second is that you’ve just experienced a reality shift. Not explaining it right now, you’ll understand the whole concept soon once you get outside the screening room.’

I just felt a sinking feeling in my stomach. I had watched enough films to know that something bad had gone wrong and this wasn’t going to be a case of a bad nightmare.

I lifted my face and decided to ask the most important question that was on my mind.

‘Are you a vampire?’

The man in the red suit ran a hand through the nonexistent hair on his head before leaning forward in the chair and clasping both hands together.

‘What do you think little Wannabe?’

I clenched my hands together into fists, pulled myself together and stood up looking straight at the bald man with the red suit, tinted sunglasses, and fanged mouth.

‘Shut up. You said that you’d answer my questions, now I don’t need to know if you’re a vampire or someone who likes to play sick jokes on teenagers. But you need to let me know either exactly what’s going on or I’m taking my chances and walking out of those exit doors.’

I felt cold inside and my heart was beating faster but my dad had always told me to try and take charge of my situation before someone else does. If this guy was a vampire, he was still stuck on a screen. The other odd, disembodied voice was far worse than some idiot in a suit pretending to be someone that he’s not.

The man stood up this time and putting one hand behind his back he bowed at me flourishing one hand in front of him.

‘Backbone. Good, you’re not a simple primate after all. You’ll need to find more inner strength to deal with what you’re going to be facing. Now, the answer to your question is both yes and no. I’m a creature of blood technology, a sort of artificial intelligence created from an original vampire template and altered through hundreds of thousands of interactions with candidates such as yourself.’

‘You’re an electronic vampire then.’

‘As you wish. I’m here to provide initial information and give you a rough guide. The system is there for the long run. Think of me as an initial tour guide. I provide the service each time and each interaction allows me to develop a better response. My actions and movements are monitored.’

Fine. I’ll play along with it for now.

‘You told me that I shouldn’t go outside of this place, give me a good reason not to walk through the doors.’

This time I didn’t receive an immediate response.

[Partial transformation in progress. Class Choices will be accessible soon.]

‘There you go, that’s your reason. Until you either get some sort of upgrade or receive an

actual class you do not want to go outside. Please, think of this room as a safe starter zone.

It’s a bit lacking I admit but you’re not in any real danger yet.’

Staring at the man on the screen I narrowed my eyes.

‘Really. Are my friends in any danger?’

‘That would entirely depend on their suitability. If they possess key genetic markers and the right blood then yes and no. Circumstances being what they are, they either have the chance to be where you are right now just in an entirely different location talking to another version of me.’

I tried my best to put a stern-looking face on. ‘You didn’t give me a clear answer.’

‘I extrapolate data from hundreds of thousands of candidates and give automated crafted responses in return for the circumstances. I don’t have to give you a clear answer if it’s the right one. If your friends were watching media content like you which was thrown out there in your reality, then yes there is a chance they’re in danger. Eventually. Worst case situation for you, they could end up working for the other side.’

I did not like the sound of that. My friends ended up with some red-suited artificial vampire construct chatting away and giving vague threats about how dangerous it would be once I left.

‘Who is the other side then?’

‘The opposition. Vampires and other related creatures aren’t exactly the most popular in all of existence. You can call them enemies of the blood. Humans as a general example don’t tolerate the existence of vampires. Sound familiar to you? You do not want to go toe to toe with a Seraphim. They’re pure death machines.’

I gave my harshest attempt at a stare of doom at the screen. It failed to judge from the look on the face of the man in the red suit, he didn’t look annoyed though given that he had probably dealt with the same situation a thousand times before.

‘I’m willing to leave my seat right now before I have any transformation in progress or class levels and take my chances unless you give me a clear answer.’

It wasn’t clear how a screen character could make a sighing sound so loud in a near-empty cinema screening room, but he could. His sound quality was brilliant, it felt like he was sitting right next to me.

‘Kid, just choose a class when the system asks. It’ll work out a lot better for everyone that way. Otherwise, you’re just throwing away any future potential down the drain. It’d be a waste of good blood.’

‘The system did choice did give me a character class though. Or at least it mentioned it as soon as I woke up here.’

‘Great, that’s great news. Even a starting class of Ghoul will give you a sufficient boost of power to escape if necessary. Not really what you want to be aiming for but it’s a decent start. So what did the system mention then kid?’

‘Alright, for one. Stop calling me a kid, I don’t like it. The second thing is that it said that it detected a zombie phenotype for me.’

Suddenly pure, unfiltered silence hit the cinema screening room as the man in red on the screen froze. I looked at the screen and kicked my legs on the chair in front for a bit before stretching out and looking at the empty room. A random thought came into my mind about how the projector room should still be there so there could still be a chance that this whole thing was an elaborate joke at my expense.

Nope. Blank space.

The only visible light in the cinema came from the main screen. Looking back at the frozen screen I began to sit up and put my hands on the chair to stand up before the man in red unfroze and his body began a small shaking movement. I wasn’t sure if an electronic person on a screen needed help, blood technology or otherwise but it felt pretty uncomfortable watching a being that was talking a short time ago going through some issues.

I saw that the strength of the shaking increased until he reached up with both hands and covered his mouth, legs kicking the floor hard as his body rocked hard into his chair.

Laughing. He was trying to stop laughing out loud, or his best attempt at that anyway.

‘Are you laughing at me? I’m out of here, it’s been great, but I have my limits as well you know.

The red-dressed man with the pointy incisors looked at me and immediately became serious once again. Arms flew down so fast on the sides of the chair that I could hear the crunch on the wooden frame as he sat down and gave me a stern-looking look.

‘Out of all the probabilities that the system should have offered you that particular choice is a pretty inaccessible one. Evolutionary wise it’s a dead end. A walking dead human with wings? A joke.’

‘A zombie with wings?’

‘Hey, let’s put the z word behind us and call them kinetically charged deceased instead. It’s usually that vampires control shuffling hordes of cannon fodder rather than the other way around. Still, it’s a start. Not a helpful one I’ll grant as you’ll have to make more effort than usual with your appearance, as with all the classes there are certain benefits though.’

‘Kinetically charged deceased….yeah, I’ll still with the z word thanks. Why can’t you give me a class list?’

‘That would be telling and super not useful for you right now kid. Oops, my mistake.’

He raised one hand to his lips looking thoughtful and mock apologetic.

‘No, it would be helpful. You’re a guide, so give me some help.’

The light coming from the screen flickered for a moment.

‘Oh. The time just keeps rolling on, doesn’t it? The system will sort your classes, just give it time. Not something that you have plenty of right now despite appearances. This safe zone is being closed in on by the opposition. One moment ki-. Sorry, young lady.’

And with that, he stood up from the chair, straightened out his red suit and vanished from the screen completely leaving a projected screen with a single chair on it.

‘Hello?’

I was left by myself in an empty cinema waiting for a choice. Should I take my chances with the freaky system and get out of the empty screen room without taking any further advice from Mr Bald's red suit or wait and listen to him? After a certain point, I’d need to act though. If my friends were out there, like, actually in the same situation as me we needed to meet up to help each other out. It was Trev that I was most concerned about, he wasn’t a tough guy. Not in the physical sense but in the mental sense, he just lacked the aggression and drive that a guy his size ought to have.

The screen flashed again and the red-suited man appeared.

‘Young lady. You need to get the blood hells out of this room right now. They’ve found this location and will be here in a few minutes, first let me give you a little gift to show my condolences for the failure of your blood quality.’

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