Chapter 25: Desk
Hannah’s eyes wandered over the shelves filled with books. There were so many books in this library, and she was going to have to go through each and every one.
“This is the ledger,” Mr. Williams said, guiding Hannah over to a massive book sitting on a podium. Tome might have been a better word for the book. “You will find a recording of every book in this library within. Though there will most likely be some books that are missing due to our previous librarian. I trust you can figure out the organization yourself?”
Hannah nodded. “I can, Mr. Williams.” The collection of books she had once owned wasn’t big enough to need a ledger and she hadn’t ever actually worked at a library. Still, she was certain that she would be able to figure it out. She was good at organization. Hopefully the previous librarian’s way of organizing wasn’t annoying to her, otherwise she might feel it would be best to start from scratch. “Does the ledger include a record of the books in the rest of the estate. I’ve seen bookshelves in a number of other rooms.”
“An astute question.” The butler looked pleased with Hannah. It made the fox feel good. “It does, but they are marked down in a different section of the ledger than the main library. I would recommend starting with the library first before moving onto other rooms as some of the rooms you might need permission to enter.”
That made sense. She thought about her mistress’s sitting room and how that was considered a private area for the lady. Thoughts of the room brought up memories of the night before. Hannah could still feel the lady’s touch on her ears before her mind flashed to what she had done after her time with the lady. Heat was rising to Hannah’s face and she did her best to push it away. This wasn’t a good time to think and worry about the events of last night. “Is there any section you would recommend starting with?” she asked, hoping continuing to talk about her job would shove other thoughts aside.
Mr. Williams nodded before beckoning Hannah to follow. He led them over to one of the corners of the lower level. There was a small selection of shelves that were locked behind metal grate doors. Like the rest of the house, this door was also ornately designed and looked more like a fashion piece than an actual door to keep books locked up. Hannah had no doubt that the door was strong and sturdy though.
“These are the more rare and valuable books in the collection. As you can see,” he said with his face showing hints of anger, “there are a few empty spots littered among the shelves.” He turned away from the shelves that made him angry and looked down at Hannah. “These books are not freely available to the staff, as the rest of the books are. One has to get permission from one of the family before they can take one, and there are only a few who have the key.” Mr. Williams reached into his pocket and then pulled out a key and held it in his hand. His eyes left the key and locked on Hannah. Taking a deep breath, Stewart handed the key to Hannah.
Hannah took the smallish key from the butler. This felt like a big deal, and something that should be taken with a good deal of decorum. There needed to be a seriousness to how Hannah dealt with this, but she just couldn’t help but only feel glee. Thanks to her tail actually being out of her uniform there wasn’t as much of a swishing fabric as it wag now. It still made a little noise, though, and in the quiet room it did feel as if it was loud. Doing her best to keep a serious expression and not a big goofy smile, Hannah took the offered key.
“I’m trusting you with this. I will admit there is a level of comfort I do feel given your… residency status here. I can trust that you aren’t going to run off with the books.”
The fox shook her head. She could never imagine stealing another person’s books. “I would never do that to Mistress. Or anyone, for that matter.” To be honest, stealing another person's book was a serious crime to Hannah.
“Good.” He gave a curt nod. “There are inkwells, pens, and paper here if you should need it,” he said as he motioned to a large and ornate desk. He paused in thought. “I suppose this will be your desk now.”
Memories came flooding back to Hannah. Memories of her old desk at the schoolhouse. The last time she had seen her desk, it was a complete mess. An organized mess but a mess nonetheless. All her students had turned in their final work for the year and she was about half way through grading it all. She could still remember all of their names and the topics they had written about. It was such a joy to read through and she was so looking forward to finishing all of them. Hannah would never get to finish them…
“Hannah?”
Hannah jumped a little bit at the call of her name. The classroom and her cluttered desk were gone, replaced by the Hayward’s library and the ornate desk. Mr. Williams was looking at her with concern. “I-I’m sorry.” Heat was rising in her face as she looked away.
“Are you alright?”
It was a few seconds before Hannah nodded. Thankfully she was able to keep any tears in unlike the last time she had a flashback. “Yes. I was just…” She looked at the desk. Her old desk wasn’t nearly as nice as this desk was, but it had still meant so much to her. “I was remembering my old desk.” Finally she looked away from the desk and back at the butler. He looked a little uncomfortable and clearly didn’t know what to say. “Is there anything else?” She wasn’t going to leave him there feeling uncomfortable.
“Right,” he said before looking around. “As librarian it will also be your responsibility to keep other staff accountable while in the library and on books they have checked out. While I understand this may make a number of them feel uncomfortable on this one matter, you do have seniority. If there are problems, come to me and I will handle it.”
Hannah nodded. It was going to be a strange feeling to be above a human in some regard, but she did like the idea. She wasn’t going to let it go to her head though. “Does that include asking people to leave if need be?”
“You do have permission to ask members of staff to leave. That also brings up a good point. You haven’t worked with noble society before coming here have you?”
“No, Mr. Williams.”
He nodded and started walking back to the center of the library. “During the upcoming season the Hayward estate will host a number of gatherings for high society. Nobility of lesser and higher birth will all be likely to come to such events. Some of the house will be open to the guests, depending on the mood of the family, this may or may not include the library. Typically it is not closed to the guests, but given recent events with the past librarian we will see how the Haywards wish to go moving forward.”
“So I can expect to have some visitors if I am not to help serve at such events?”
“Exactly.” Mr. Williams took a deep breath before letting it out in a sigh. “We are not meant to openly talk about such things, but it can be common for nobility to… misbehave. Especially younger members of society.” He paused before turning back to look at Hannah. “I will be frank, Hannah, for I feel with your life experience I need not hide much. When we host such gatherings, whether the library is open or closed to the guests, some might sneak in here to… Well, have sex. It has happened before.”
That both came as a surprise and not a surprise to Hannah. For herself, she couldn’t really imagine doing such an act in a potentially publicly available room, but she couldn’t deny there might be some thrill behind such actions. That thrill might not even be a part of it as she was sure alcohol would be offered at the events, at least ones later in the day. “What would be the most appropriate thing for me to do in such a situation?”
“I would say try and make sure they know of your presence and leave before they can get that far. Granted as with some of the staff, they may not be receptive to a beastkin telling them to leave. I would also hope that a true member of nobility will not get physical in their displeasure with you, but…”
It was easy for the fox to understand what he was saying. A few days ago the idea would have still upset Hannah, but she would have braved it. Now, though, that possibility made her feel fear. She didn’t want to be punished again. All she really wanted was to feel Rayne’s gentle touch.
Mr. Williams paused and appeared to be deep in thought. “I know Lady Hayward will wish that your safety takes priority over asking someone to leave the library, as with any other member of staff. I trust that you can decide what will be the best option to take for yourself.”
Hannah nodded. “I will do my best.”
“Good. Right,” he looked around the room, “I believe that is everything for now. If there are any other questions feel free to ask me. I’d rather you ask even a simple question instead of assuming something.”
“I will be sure to come and ask you.” She looked around the room and tried to take all of it in. This was her life now, and hopefully would be the rest of her life. Hannah could live with being a librarian until the day she died. Plus she also got to teach for those who wanted to learn. “I do have a question.” Mr. Williams waited patiently. “I understand that the family would have the right to bring food and drink in here if they wish, but would I or other members of staff?” The one downside of working in the library was that she wouldn’t be with Neila as often. First thing in the morning Hannah had been working with Neila and they decided to try and time their breaks to be at the same time. Hannah wanted to know if they might be able to take one in here.
“I will leave that up to your best judgment. Any mess that is made will be up to you to clean.” That was acceptable. She wasn’t planning on really letting people eat and drink here much, but having a pot of tea with her while she worked sounded like a dream come true. “If that is all, I will leave you to it.”
Soon enough, Hannah was alone in the library. Would it be strange to call it her library? She knew it wasn’t really hers but as the caretaker it was hers in some regard. She took a deep breath and loved how much the room smelled of books. This was going to be good. First things first, Hannah went over to the ledger and picked it up off the podium. It looked heavy but Hannah found it was far heavier than she expected.
After a little waddling struggle over to her desk Hannah set the tome down with a loud thud. “Alright, let's get started.” Turning around, she walked over to the gated shelves and pulled out her key. It was a strange and enjoyable feeling to be trusted with such a thing, especially after only being here for around a week. What would be the best way to keep the key on her? She felt that just keeping it in her pocket was asking for trouble. Maybe she could ask for some string and make a necklace for it.
The idea of a necklace brought Hannah’s mind to the collar that was wrapped around her neck. She reached up and touched the carved leather. With how soft the fur lining was, she completely forgot that she was wearing it. It was fair to say that she had gotten so used to the old one that she forgot she was wearing it, but this one felt different. She wasn’t so used to the scratchiness that she forgot about it, this was soft and light around her neck. It felt nice in a way. That brought up strange feelings Hannah didn’t want to address right now.
There was a new thought that crossed Hannah’s mind. She was the librarian of the estate. That was her job. She wasn’t a maid anymore. Granted, when she wasn’t doing a full inventory and had lots of work to do she might start helping to clean again, but maybe not. Maybe teaching would take up the rest of her time. Maybe her mistress would find other things for her to do that weren’t as menial. Hannah looked down at her maid uniform and thought of the other clothes Rayne was getting her. Would it be alright with her if she didn’t dress like a maid since she wasn’t one? That was a stupid thought. It was a uniform for a reason. She was still a member of this staff. She wasn’t above a uniform. With a sigh, Hannah put those thoughts aside and unlocked the gate. It was time to get to work.
Work was slow to begin with. Very slow, as Hannah still familiarized herself with everything. She was getting the hang of it though, and soon she had lost herself in the work. It was fun in a strange way. Not as fun work as teaching, but she was getting to handle books and that was a joy.
“Hannah.”
Hannah recognized the voice before she even looked up to find Rayne standing in the doorway. Memories of last night flashed through the vixen’s. Both the physical touch of the lady’s hand on her ears and the imaginary ones Hannah had imagined last night in her bedroom. “Mistress,” Hannah said as she felt heat rise into her face. Of course she attempted to stop the blush by sheer force of will, but it wasn’t going to work. It was going to take time to not react this way whenever she saw Rayne now.
The lady stayed in the doorway, feeling an anxiousness she wasn’t used to. It didn’t help that she could see Hannah’s face turning red. Thankfully she was able to hold off on blushing herself at least for now. She wasn’t able to keep the memories of last night at bay though. Those were replaying through her mind as she looked at her fox. The sound Hannah had made at her touch was the most prominent memory. “I hope I am not interrupting you.” Finally she took steps deeper into the library.
“No, Mistress.” Hannah stepped away from her desk as her eyes cast downward. Looking at Rayne was only making her blush worse.
Having Hannah not look at her made Rayne feel even worse about the situation that happened last night. They had already spoken and apologized about it and Rayne didn’t want to bring it up as Hannah clearly didn’t want to, but she couldn’t stop herself. “I wanted to apologize again for last night.”
“You don’t need to apologize, Mistress. As I said, it is a natural thing that can happen.” It really was, and this by far wasn’t the first time it had accidentally happened between two people.
Rayne opened her mouth but couldn’t find the words. That was pretty rare for her and she didn’t like it. Deciding that dropping the subject was the best option Rayne looked over at the main desk stacked with a good number of books. “Is everything going well?”
Hannah nodded. “The organization is a little different than what I was used to back in Everlial, but I am getting the hang of it. I’m enjoying the work.”
“I am glad.” Rayne smiled, feeling happy that Hannah was enjoying herself. Making Hannah the librarian was maybe the best decision Rayne could have made. Though it did bring up the issue Rayne wanted to address. “There is actually something I need to bring up about your first day. Did Mr. Williams talk to you about Kaden’s lessons later today?”
“No, Mistress.”
That was a little bit of a surprise, though maybe Stewart just didn’t see it as something important to share with Hannah. Though she didn’t approve, Rayne had to admit that Kaden’s views were rather normal and Stewart probably didn’t feel the same unease of him and Hannah being in the same room. “After lunch Kaden has his second to last lessons. The Haywards have always taken their lessons in the library and today won’t be an exception to that.”
A tightness grew in Hannah’s chest. Over the years Hannah had most certainly come across people who didn’t like her. People that were all humans that had power over her just like Kaden did. For some reason she felt more worried about him than she did any others. Maybe it was because of how personally angry she had clearly made him. Maybe it was because of the words Rayne had shared with her on Hannah’s second night here. Hannah didn’t know, but she didn’t like feeling scared.
“I know we have talked about my brother and I want to reiterate that what I said still stands. I don’t want you following his orders or being with him in the same room alone. However, this is your library now, and though you can not decide whether or not he can come in, you have free reign to leave if you desire. Eda can find something for you to do until the lesson is over.”
Rayne had said this was Hannah’s library, and that strangely made Hannah feel strong. This was her space. It was her library and she had a say over how she acted with it and those who entered it. The fox thought for a second, debating on how she wanted to act now with this newfound strength. “Will the teacher be in here as well? I won’t be alone with him?”
“You shouldn’t be.” Rayne shook her head. “Mr. Greenwood should be here the whole time. He should even be in here before and after the lesson. Unless Kaden wants to remain here.” That wasn’t a pleasant thought, and maybe Rayne should have talked to Kaden about this. She couldn’t rightfully tell her brother he could never come in the library again, but she could say something about staying away from Hannah when they were both in here. Now she regretted coming here first, because she would have rather dealt with Kaden first then have the reprieve of seeing Hannah. Regardless, she was going to say something to Kaden at lunch. “Like I said, you have free reign to leave if you do not feel comfortable. Any upset that Mr. Williams might feel is something I can handle.”
It was rare for Hannah to ever feel strong and she didn’t want to lose that feeling. She wasn’t going to be alone with Kaden and even if the teacher did leave she could leave as well. “I will be sure to leave if I am left alone with him.”
Relief washed through the lady. It wasn’t a permanent solution for dealing with Kaden when around Hannah, but it at least made her feel good for now. Hopefully, with time, things would change, and Kaden could prove himself worthy and trustworthy of being in Hannah’s presence. “Good. I—”
“Hannah, I brought you so—” Neila cut herself as she stopped in the doorway holding a tray of food and tea. “My lady,” she said with a curtsy.
“I see it’s your lunch time.” Rayne gave a nod to Neila. If it was the staff’s lunch time then her own was soon to follow. Which also meant more meetings for her after.
Hannah looked at the clock before nodding. She had already been working for a little over three hours and she hadn’t even realized it. It was already past time for the staff's lunch. Lunch for them wasn’t really a full sit down meal like breakfast and dinner was. It was more of Ms. Vera getting some food out and everyone could come grab some when they got the chance. “I didn’t realize it was lunch time already.”
“Well then I will leave you to it. Can’t have my fox going hungry.” The lady’s eyes glanced back at Hannah and found the fox blushing. It suddenly occurred to Rayne that she hadn’t called Hannah her fox to her face since the second night together. That combined with Hannah’s red face and the lingering memories of last night made that statement feel… Rayne wasn’t sure what the feeling was, but it was making a heat rise in her face and something else rose as well.
Why did Rayne calling Hannah hers make the vixen feel so warm? Not just that fuzz warm off feeling secure but a warmth that grew in her belly as memories of last night ran through her head. She could still feel the touch of Rayne both from reality and the fantasy she had. Looking down, not feeling like she could meet Rayne’s eyes, Hannah gave a gentle nod. What was she supposed to say to that? Even if she knew what to say, would she even be able to say it?
“I will see you later tonight,” Rayne said, doing her best not to sound awkward. This awkwardness felt like it was going to persist between the two of them for a while to come. Hopefully a normal night without incident of moans would help settle the awkwardness. Though Rayne knew she wouldn’t complain if she could hear Hannah moan again. She needed to get away before these thoughts lead to any problems. With one more nod, Rayne made for the door, giving a little smile to the maid as she walked past.
There was a slight sense of relief that came as Rayne left, but Hannah didn’t like that. Not that she wanted the warmth growing in her to keep getting worse. Well some part of her did want that. A larger part of her than Hannah wanted to admit.
“Is it alright for me to bring this in?” Neila asked, still standing in the doorway. Hannah nodded and the maid quickly walked in. “I had a feeling you would lose track of time in here, so I brought some food here for us. I hope that’s okay.”
“Thank you, Neila.” Life had truly become like a dream for Hannah. She was getting to have tea in her own library.
“We won’t have to deal with the mean looks from Anna here.” The smile she gave Hannah was a little infectious.
“No, but we will have to clean up after ourselves.”
Neila sighed. “Well you win some, you lose some.”