NOVEL WEB Chapter 21: Fluffy Tail
Over the past few hours it was hard for Hannah to not notice that Rayne kept glancing at her tail. Especially when they were walking side by side through the market and the lady kept trying to subtly glance down at the tail. Hannah’s tail had been hidden under her old uniform since after the first night, so she understood why it would be interesting to Rayne. Humans were always so interested in the features they didn’t share with kin. If there were questions about her tail, Hannah wanted Rayne to feel like she could ask. She had done so about her ears. It was possible Rayne wouldn’t wish to do so in public. Maybe she would ask when they made it back to the carriage.
It was well past lunchtime now that they had left the bookstore and Rayne was getting a little hungry. Taking Hannah into stores to buy her things was considered a little eccentric but wasn’t unheard of. What was unheard of was taking a beastkin into a restaurant to have a meal with them. Rayne was already shocking the noble world with her purchase of Hannah and she wasn’t going to keep pushing that into the ‘extreme’. So what were they to do about food? They could of course wait till they got home, but if they did that they might as well wait until dinner. There was street food, but Rayne had never ‘lowered’ herself to that in the past. What else was there to do?
“Are you hungry at all?” Rayne asked Hannah. As she looked down at her fox she couldn’t help but glance at the tail. It was so big and fluffy. What would it feel like to run her hand through the fur?
Hannah was, in fact, hungry, but she was so used to the feeling that it was easy to ignore now. She now realized that her own feelings of hunger most likely meant that Rayne was also feeling them. Now she felt bad that she had ignored such feelings and probably had made her mistress ignore her own hunger. “I am, a little,” she admitted.
There weren’t many food vendors in the immediate vicinity, but she saw some up ahead. “Why don’t we stop and get some food from a vendor before we head back to the carriage?” It was strange that Rayne now felt that slightly exciting feeling of anxiety and intrigue that she often got from new trade ventures. This was going to be a fun experience.
It never felt right to deny her mistress, and if Rayne was hungry then it was worth it to accept. Still, Rayne asking her and giving the ability to accept or deny something was such a simple freedom but it felt so good. “We can do that, Mistress.”
It wasn’t long before Rayne found a vendor that smelt good. It smelt of pastry and spiced meat and that eagerness to try something new grew inside of her. The food was cheaper to purchase than Rayne was used to, but that wasn’t enough to deter her. The vendor was a little surprised that she also bought food for Hannah but didn’t appear against it. In fact, they just looked happy to have two new customers. The food itself looked like a sausage wrapped in a puff pastry. It was surprisingly good. Better than she had thought and she loved how much Hannah must have been enjoying it too with the wag her tail was wagging.
“Do you like it?” Rayne already knew the answer, but she just wanted to hear Hannah say it.
Taking another bite of the savory pastry Hannah nodded. “It’s flavored like a Zitean sausage.”
“Have you had a lot of Zitean food?” Rayne had definitely had some in the past, but not enough to be able to identify a specific food.
“There was a man in our village that was originally born in Ziteas. He used to make a whole bunch of food for everyone whenever there was a celebration. I always loved the spices he used for meat.”
“There were people living in the freelands who weren’t born there?”
Hannah gave another nod. “There are, but he was the only foreigner in our village. The only human too.”
That was something Rayne hadn’t expected. “He was human?”
“He was.”
“Was there a reason he moved to your village?” The only human in an entire village of beastkin, what must that be like? That made her wonder what it must be like for Hannah to be the only beastkin amongst all human residents of the estate. Did Hannah feel lonely?
“To be with his hu—” Hannah cut herself off. She was getting far too lax around Rayne and almost spoke without thinking. She couldn’t say that he lived there to be with his husband, because even though Ziteas had viewed kin as people, they weren’t accepting of same gender relationships. The couple would often talk about how they had to hide their relationship for a full year before they disappeared in the night and made their way to Everlial.
Rayne studied Hannah after she had cut herself off. Her vixen suddenly looked anxious and her tail hung limply. Why had Hannah cut herself off? Was it something bad? Something she didn’t want to admit to a human? “To be with his what?” Rayne asked. When Hannah didn’t reply again she added. “You can tell me Hannah. You don’t need to hide anything.”
Hannah wanted to believe that. Wanted to believe that she could be fully open, but the beatings of the past had shut that door. The idea occurred to her that maybe she could be open about the reason she felt she couldn’t be open. Maybe that would satisfy Rayne. “I… Humans would normally beat me for talking about it.”
That gave the lady pause. What could be so offensive that even just talking about another person could result in a beating? The bigger question was if Hannah was still scared of being beaten for talking about it. “You don’t need to be afraid of such things anymore, Hannah. I would never let that happen to you again.” Words wouldn’t solve a fear that had been ingrained over years, but Rayne was hopeful it would be a good start. Still she couldn’t help but wonder why a human went to the freelands. An idea came to her and it made Rayne both hopeful but also sad. “Was…” Her voice got quiet. Quiet enough that she was sure only Hannah would be able to hear. “Was he in love with a beastkin?”
It couldn’t be too harmful to admit that, so she nodded.
“Was that accepted?” Just because someone was openly living in a certain way it didn't mean people were happy about it. She so desperately wanted it to be accepted.
“Why wouldn’t it be?”
Hannah looked up at Rayne with such big eyes. Rayne could obviously see that Hannah was truly questioning why such a thing wouldn’t be accepted. Last night Rayne had felt that fluttering in her stomach at being held onto by Hannah and now she was feeling it again at the fact that Hannah didn’t question the validity of a relationship between human and beastkin. It gave her hope and now the only question was whether a relationship between two women would be as valid. Rayne shook those thoughts away however. Like Eda had said this time was for Hannah to heal not to form a relationship. “Were they happy together?”
“Very.” They had been one of if not the happiest couple in the village. Their love for each other was so clear and drove nearly all of their actions. They were the kind of couple people strive to be. Hannah missed them. She missed everyone from back home. She hadn’t seen anyone from her village in years now.
There was an urge inside Rayne to ask what happened to them when the slavers came, but she already knew the answer wouldn’t be good. They couldn’t have taken the human as a slave, so what would they have done with him? Left him there, or made sure he couldn’t come after to save his wife? Thankfully, before that urge grew too great, the pair of them had found themselves back at the carriage. “Here we are,” Rayne said before finishing her last bit of sausage filled pastry. “Shall we?” The coachman saw them and rushed to open the door.
Hannah nodded, not really sure what else there was for them to do that would make Hannah say no. It had already been a bit of a long day, but it was far from over. That meant she would have some time to herself when they got back. Some time she could spend reading before eating dinner and going to see Rayne in her sitting room. She liked the idea of that.
Rayne wanted to have Hannah step in first, but that wasn’t the appropriate thing to do, so she climbed in. She was happy to find that, inside, the clothes and shoes had all been placed on the front seat. That meant the only room there was for Hannah to sit down would be next to her. Quickly she placed herself down and waited for her fox.
Hannah saw all the items they had bought on one side and the space open next to her mistress. It was surprising how easy of a decision it was to just casually sit down next to the lady. There was a spark of joy as Hannah sat down and didn’t have to do an awkward shuffle so that she wouldn’t sit on her tail. She was free to move it and without thinking placed her tail between the two women.
Earlier in the day, Rayne had felt like Hannah was teasing her with her tail, but this was worse. The fox’s tail was actually between them now and was even pressing up against her leg. It took so much willpower to keep her hands in her lap. It was as if her tail was begging to be touched by Rayne.
There hadn’t been much thought put into which side Hannah put her tail on. It just ended up in the middle naturally and maybe that wasn’t the best decision. Or maybe it was. Humans were still hard to read, but Hannah never got any bad feelings from the way Rayne kept glancing at her tail all day. She had already let Rayne play with her ears so the tail wasn’t considered that bad. There wasn’t much stigma culturally around it. Some kinds of kin didn’t like it while others loved it and Hannah generally leaned into liking it. The real problem was, how would she bring it up? Mistress clearly wasn’t going to ask, and just the thought of saying that out loud made Hannah’s face turn red.
The carriage lurched a little bit as it started pulling away and it made the tail between them jostle a little bit. This was almost torture to Rayne. It was like how she felt about Hannah’s ears that first night, only now she had the greater awareness not to push such physical intimacy on the fox. Over the past few days Rayne had neglected to do research on beastkin and their culture, not that there was much of that available here. Maybe she should have been looking for that at the bookstore. Maybe she would have found something that told her if touching someone’s tail was extremely intimate or not. Suddenly, the tail by Rayne’s side lifted up and moved itself into her lap. In surprise Rayne looked over to Hannah, sure this was a mistake, an accident by a bump of the carriage, but found Hannah looking down, her face red.
Maybe that wasn’t the smartest way to go about it. Hannah often found words easier to understand than someone's actions, so why had she decided to just plop her tail down in her mistress’s lap? Rayne wouldn’t understand why she did it. Wouldn’t understand that it had been obvious throughout the day that Rayne kept looking at her tail. Even with all that, Hannah couldn’t bring herself to say anything.
The lady had been too obvious today, she realized. All day she had been sneaking glances at Hannah’s tail, and to those passing in the street they might have just seen it as a glance. To Hannah, though, it must have been obvious that Rayne kept looking. It was her tail, after all. Rayne internally berated herself for being so clearly infatuated with her fox’s tail. Hannah had seen all of this and still decided to put her tail in Rayne’s lap, so did that mean she was giving Rayne permission? Was this something that Hannah wanted herself, or something she felt like she had to do because it was clearly what Rayne wanted?
No words were shared as the pair sat there still for a few seconds. Eventually Hannah decided it was time to say something, but before she could get any words out she felt Rayne’s hands on her tail. Felt them gently feel how soft and fluffy it was. The lady’s hands gently stroked down the tail feeling the soft fur. She clearly liked how soft the white tip was. Hannah’s eyes finally glanced up from her own lap and looked at Rayne. There was that smile again. The one she had seen in the tailor’s. Seeing it again made Hannah feel all warm and fuzzy. She was sure if Rayne had a tail of her own it would have been wagging up a storm. The feeling and knowledge of how happy Rayne clearly was also caused Hannah’s own tail to wag a little bit, but she did her best to force it to stop so that it wouldn’t fly out of her mistress’s lap.
Hannah’s tail fur was soft. Softer than Rayne had expected it to be, but not as soft as the fur on the inside of her ears. The white fur at the tip was a close second to the ears, though. Rayne stroked all the way down the tail, enjoying both the physical feeling as well as the gentle intimacy Rayne felt from Hannah allowing her to do this. It didn’t feel as deeply intimate as playing with her ears, but felt more casually intimate. Something one would do casually about their day with no fear of it anyone saw. Granted Rayne didn’t feel like doing this in front of people would be a good idea, but that didn’t stop her from wanting to do just that.
Hannah having her tail petted did feel good. It was calming and less sensorily intense than having her ears played with. The best way to describe the experience was gentle. Even Rayne’s demeanor was gentle, and Hannah really liked seeing her like that. Hannah just leaned back in her seat and focused on the feeling of Rayne stroking her tail and not the movement of the carriage. It worked surprisingly well as the entire trip Hannah never once felt nauseous. Maybe this is what they had to do to keep Hannah feeling comfortable while in a carriage.
All too soon, the carriage pulled to a stop and it was time for Rayne to stop stroking Hannah’s tail. It made her a little upset, but there wasn’t really much that could be done about it. Maybe she could convince Hannah to sit in the sitting room with her for the rest of the day. She liked the idea of that but she also felt like it was asking too much. Hannah deserved to have her own time off and decide what she wanted to do for herself. Rayne could always put out the offer, but she supposed she was still going to see Hannah in a few hours to play with her ears.
Rayne was first out of the carriage and Hannah was behind her. The fox almost tripped because she had grabbed hold of all the clothes, shoes, and books.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Rayne said. “I should have helped.” The lady was so used to having the staff take care of such a thing, and for some reason she hadn’t put it together that Hannah was also staff. There was also something to be said that all of the things were Hannah’s anyway.
“It’s alright, Mistress,” Hannah said, getting a better hold of everything. She was more than used to carrying heavier and more encumbering things.
“Are you sure?” Hannah nodded her response to Rayne and the lady struggled to decide whether to still help her or not. “Will you be able to make it all the way back to your room?”
“I will, Mistress.”
The pair of them finally made their way into the house and started to go their separate ways. “I’ll see you later tonight, Hannah,” Rayne said as a gentle confirmation that their nightly visit was still on.
“Yes, Mistress,” Hannah replied before they both finally went their separate ways. It wasn’t a long walk to her room and she didn’t pass anyone along the way. She neatly put away the old uniform and new shoes and was left with the two books. She quickly unwrapped her new book and gently touched the cover. This was her own book. She owned a book again. She hugged the book to her chest and felt tears start to grow in her eyes. She was crying so much in recent days, but it felt good to get it all out. To get out all these pent up feelings.
After half an hour of crying off and on, Hannah exited her room holding the other wrapped book in hand. She didn’t know if Mr. Williams was back yet but she was going to look for him regardless. Of course the first place to look was his office, and even before Hannah could get to the door she could hear him working inside. Hannah knocked on the door.
“Come in,” Mr. Williams called. Hannah opened the door to find the butler still in his going out outfit but working hard at some paperwork. He looked up at her with only a little bit of surprise in his eyes. “Yes, Hannah?”
All of a sudden Hannah felt a little nervous. She took a step deeper into the room while she spoke. “Mistress took me out today, and while we were out she took me to a bookstore. She told me I could pick a book for myself.” Mr. Williams raised an eyebrow at her, not seeing where this was going. “I picked this because I wanted to give it to you.” She handed over the wrapped book to him. If he had been confused before he was even more so now. “She still bought me another book for myself, as well.” She felt like she needed to admit that.
Mr. Williams took the book from her cautiously and started opening the wrapping. When he did so enough to see the title he stopped. “This is…” His eyes went wide.
“General Griffiths' account,” Hannah said. “I know you have been looking for it for a long time.”
He finished pulling the wrapping off then ran his hand over the cover, similar to what Hannah had done to her own book. Then he quickly opened the book and looked over the first page. “It’s even in Celian. Where did you find this?”
“Enchanting words bookstore in Riverside Market.”
“I went there only two weeks ago and they didn’t have this then,” he said in wonder.
“Then I was really lucky to find it now.”
“I…” He looked at the book for a few seconds. “Thank you, Hannah,” Stewart said, looking up from the book for the first time. “Thank you.”
