Villain Hiring: Help! Author Wants Me Dead

"I mean... it could?"

Lucas, standing with his arms crossed, let out a small snort.

The other heirs of the Romero house—about a dozen of them, just stared at me. Blankly.

No blinking.

No expressions.

Just a room full of judgmental brats staring like I was some kind of caveman.

"Wait... is this guy really that monstrous cousin we've all been hearing about?" one of them muttered under his breath.

Another heir, a short guy with a long face, frowned. "I thought he'd be... I don't know, more intimidating?"

"Yeah-" another cousin sis of mine with tied-up blonde hair whispered, "but he's scared of a helmet."

Meanwhile, the 16-year-old Pixie? Oh, she was laughing her ass off.

"Hahahaha! Noah, you should see your face right now!" she crackled, holding her stomach. "Oh no! A scary little machine! What if it bites?! Kekeke!"

I shot her a glare, my face heating up. "Shut up."

"But seriously," Pixie wheezed between her laughs, "you are so old-fashioned! Have you ever even used a VR Pod before?"

"No," I muttered softly.

Gasps. Actual gasps filled the room.

"No way..."

"Wait, does he not know how to use a smartwatch either?"

"He probably still uses paper money!"

"Bro, does he even know what the internet is??"

I could feel a vein pop in my forehead.

"Wow," Damien joined in the fun. "I knew you were behind on technology, but damn, even I—an old-ass system knows how this stuff works." The non-existent system said, gloating at me.

I turned to Venus, who looked like he was seriously considering whether or not I was actually his grandson. "Noah," he said slowly, like he was explaining things to a toddler, "you do know what an AI is, right?"

I hesitated. "...I think so?"

More gasps.

Pixie was now rolling on the floor, kicking her legs in the air.

Venus looked like he aged another decade. He let out the biggest sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. "By the gods, we should have sent you to school..."

I crossed my arms. "Not my fault! I was living in a town where the most advanced thing I had was my almost broken cd misic player! Blame you for making me live in a dump!"

Lucas and the other heirs still looked at me like I was a rare species of idiot.

"Wait, so..." one of them whispered, "does that mean... he's never played a VR game before?"

Silence.

Everyone turned to me again.

I clenched my fists. "Alright, that's it! Give me the damn helmet!"

Grumbling, I finally put the weird thing on my head and lay back down inside the VR Pod, a little scared when I realised that Venus was closing the lid of the pod on my face, shutting me inside this weird-looking thing.

The next moment, I felt my consciousness drifting as everything around me blacked out. I heard a strange chime inside my head as a strange blue light slowly started covering my field of vision.

Right then, my sense of touch came back to me as I found my surroundings getting more and more vivid and clear.

[WELCOME TO THE ROMERO'S PRIVATE TRAINING ROOM.]

A smooth robotic voice followed as I found the floating blue screen popping right before my eyes.

[SCAN COMPLETE]

User: Noah D. Romero

Title: The legitimate heir to the Romero Throne.

I blinked. "Uh...what?"

Looking around me, I realised that the place was just a shining blue room that seemed too huge for my taste.

The place was totally empty and even the floor I was standing on seemed to be made of blue coloured building blocks.

"Weird." I thought.

I was just about to roam around the place and explore more when another figure materialised right behind, scaring the shit out of me.

It was Venus.

This bastard, I swear to god.

'Now, now Noah…Calm down. You shouldn't curse people smarter than you—'

An almost kind smile appeared on my face as I whispered into Damien's ears.

'Call me dumb once again, and let's see how I listen to you, you fatherles—'

"Noah!! Thank god you're here." Venus said, almost too strangely but before he could continue with his joke, my glare shut the old man up.

Looking at him, I realised that although we looked exactly the same in the place but our bodies were not actually here.

Dozens of more figures started appearing, their bodies a blur of blue light before their figures took shape.

'It was indeed not as scary as I imagined it, huh?' I thought, trying to keep a straight face as I read my status again and again.

User: Noah D. Romero

Title: The legimitate heir to the Romero Throne.

***

'The legitimate heir to the throne, huh?' I smiled lightly, must be one of Venus' shenanigans.

Just as everyone had appeared, the old man clapped his hands, calling everyone to come closer. I could even see Seraphina, Uncle Felix's daughter walking from afar.

She had grown her deep, blue hair almost to her back and with all the tattoos and the revealing outfit, anyone would think of the girl as bold.

Except the fact…that she was totally not.

The girl was the type of girl who'd squek reading dark fantasy novels and shy even having the most simple conversations with anyone.

Thanks to the fact that it was all family around here, atleast she wasn't trying to consciously hide around the place.

Grandpa closed to my figure as he smirked at me, "Like what you saw in your status screen?" He asked, expecting a surprised reaction.

All he got instead was my lips pressing into a thin line. I tilted my head up to give him an uninterested look.

And NO, I am not short…okay?

I was almost 5 feet 11 inches now, it's just that this oldie can't seem to stop growing taller.

Ever since Grandma had aged backwards, this man had only been doing things to appear more and more younger.

Heh*

'He'll always be an old coot to me—'

Venus grabbed my shoulders all of a sudden, making me stand right in front of the crowd which had gathered as he let out a small smile.

It's your chance to shine now, brat.

***