Vicious Darling

[34]

Chris bit his lip at those words.

Since coming to the Spring Continent, Chris had been constantly anxious about Yuri’s incomprehensible actions.

There were aspects that seemed too complex to be simply due to Rosenhauser or the newly emerged terrorist group, Thorns Order.

He had been agonizing over various speculations on his own, and now Yuri was going to explain the reason?

“I… I’ll listen patiently…”

He couldn’t bring himself to ask outright, his lips merely quivering.

Yuri looked at Chris as if he had expected this reaction.

His foot pressed down firmly.

As if asking if Chris could endure even this.

“Ugh…”

He wanted to cry, to collapse and crumble right there.

Either way, he just wanted to cling to Yuri and beg to escape the current situation.

After observing Chris’s face for a long time as he struggled to breathe without moving, Yuri spoke.

“Where should I start?”

He lowered his eyes and moved his lips.

“I acted alone because I had something to experiment with.”

“Ex…periment?”

Chris, his face flushed, mumbled the word.

“Yes. An experiment.”

Yuri affirmed.

“An experiment to see if I could function alone as an individual named ‘me’.”

Confusion clouded Chris’s eyes.

He couldn’t readily understand.

Chris had never seen anyone as independent as Yuri in his life. So why did he need to confirm this?

“Both I and Baekyah have been relying heavily on you as an individual.”

Yuri continued.

“Because you were the strongest sword I could wield. A weapon with a handle that would never stab me.”

Chris nodded.

He had given that handle to Yuri. He could swing it as much as he wanted.

“It was convenient and powerful. I think I carelessly assumed it would be that way forever.”

Yuri muttered with his eyes lowered.

“But now it’s different. Because you might disappear without a word to me again someday.”

The man saying this was smiling.

It certainly didn’t look like he was in a good mood, but it was clearly a smile.

‘No, is it self-mockery?’

“Ugh… hnngh…”

Anguish boiled in Chris’s throat.

He wanted to say no, that he would never leave again, but his body wouldn’t cooperate.

Under Yuri’s gaze looking down at him, he felt shame as if he were stripped naked.

No, perhaps being completely naked would be less embarrassing than facing that accusing gaze.

“To see how much I could do alone, I jumped into the field myself, coordinated situations, and acted. It was more manageable than I thought.”

“Of course… you’re… Yuri…”

Chris laughed while panting.

He didn’t understand why Yuri was stating such an obvious thing.

“And today, I confirmed it for certain.”

“Ha… ahh…”

Yuri’s fingers dug into Chris’s hair, gripping his head and forcibly fixing his gaze that kept sinking to the floor.

“You make me weak,” Yuri said with an expressionless face.

If it weren’t for the falling steel beam accident today, he might not have realized it at all.

No, he would have pretended not to know.

Even for Yuri, it wasn’t easy to admit his own weakness.

The Yuri of the past was actually stronger than the current Yuri who had become the boss of Baekyah.

The young Yuri who worked desperately, moving between bars and back alleys, leaving his waiting dog tied up at home.

Back then, he smashed a beer mug on the head of a customer who taunted him. When he was kidnapped by an Esper who guessed he was a Guide, he waited until the last moment and slit the Esper’s throat with a hidden glass shard. Even when his ankle was crushed by damned human traffickers, he seized an opportunity and escaped through a ventilation duct.

He remembered the cold that stung his cheeks and the resentment he felt as he limped away that night.

If he went back to that time, could he live as fiercely again?

‘No way.’

It was a time when all he had was his body, with an extra mouth to feed. But perhaps that’s why he could live that way.

Now it’s different.

In the face of misfortune, disaster, and death that befall Yuri, if he waits, Chris will always come.

As Chris’s world expanded and broadened, his dog demonstrated abilities Yuri couldn’t even imagine.

When his Esper reached out to save his Guide, the sea parted and the earth split.

Even today, everyone says Yuri was lucky. That it was divine intervention.

But Yuri knew all too well that this god was human.

“I… I didn’t intend to…”

Something like a tear rolled down Chris’s right cheek.

It was just a single drop.

The one thing Chris realized upon meeting his Guide was this:

The day would never come when he could completely possess Yuri.

Chris didn’t dare to think he was worthy of coveting him. Yet unable to leave, he circled around him, clinging desperately. Even when Yuri pushed him away, he stubbornly persisted.

If he couldn’t have Yuri, he wanted to become a part of him.

Not wanting to covet his perfection, he lingered on the fringes for a lifetime. Like a sunflower waiting for the sun to turn its gaze. He wished for nothing.

‘Just that you would continue to shine, as you have until now.’

But now, Yuri was telling Chris that his desperate efforts had been completely in vain.

Yuri silently observed the sorrow Chris had painfully expressed.

Until it finally flowed down to the tip of his chin and formed a droplet.

“I know.”

If he hadn’t let his guard down until the very last moment, he might have been able to avoid it without Chris’s intervention.

But Yuri didn’t even make such an assumption, instead sitting there waiting.

“I know well.”

Nevertheless, Yuri wanted to confirm.

How close his dog was waiting.

Whether he would rush in and save him when his life was in danger, as he always had.

“But because of you, I’ve started to think irrationally.”

Logically, Yuri should have avoided it.

The order he gave to Chris was to wait with the Barrel Society’s locksmith.

Even if he had guessed that Chris might disobey his instructions, Yuri shouldn’t have just stared blankly as the steel beam was about to pierce him; he should have avoided it.

Because he needs to survive even if there comes a moment when the Esper no longer exists in his life.

If people knew Yuri was thinking like this, they would laugh.

‘Where would an Esper go, abandoning their Guide?’

But Chris had done it.

By disappearing without a trace, not even knowing if he was alive or dead. Wearing Rosenhauser’s leash, he crawled to Yuri and rolled over, exposing his belly.

The anger that still stirred in his mind at that pathetic sight was vivid.

He would probably never forget the heat of that moment.

He thought he was a tamed dog, always lying flat before him. How naive that assumption had been.

Can a wolf become a dog just by living in the same house as humans?

Can it become a dog if you herd sheep with it, remove its claws, and file down its teeth?

The answer was ‘no’.

Wolves, predators, needed to be tamed in a different way.

“Listen carefully,” Yuri slowly parted his lips.

“In the past, I would never have admitted to being weak.”

But he doesn’t want to go back.

Back then, he had no room to breathe.

There was no reason to look back on the trajectory of his life. When he was desperate to survive, was there any need to consider all the causes and effects of his actions?

For his past self, admitting weakness was nothing short of a sin.

Because when fate pushed him, the one who wanted to give up the most was Yuri himself.

“So don’t forget, Chris.”

Yuri’s hands reached out, grabbing Chris’s collar and pulling him close.

“If something like today happens again, I will always be waiting for you.”

He growled.

“I’ll wait for salvation, doing nothing, with my hands idle.”

This was the first declaration of defeat Yuri had ever uttered.

‘You’ve broken me like this.’

He rolled those words on his tongue.

It felt more bitter than coffee brewed with over-roasted beans.

‘So you should know too.’

After all, it was Chris who made him admit this.

Yuri pulled Chris’s face closer.

“Ah, aah…”

Chris, panting with indescribable emotion, barely managed to close his eyes.

Hot breath covered his lips. And it stole Chris’s breath away.

Surprisingly, that wasn’t all.

Yuri’s hands holding Chris were trembling slightly.

Like a boy having his first kiss.

The kiss, mixed with greed and desperation, smelled of rain. Perhaps also of wet earth.

Before he could be gripped by astonishment, the skilled kiss erased Chris’s delusions and overlaid them with ecstasy.

His body stirred, still not grounded.

Wanting to lay Yuri down on that cheap bed and mount him right away.

His body heated up with vulgar expectations and erotic imaginings.

Yuri slowly parted his lips from the whimpering Chris. Just when Chris thought he was about to pull away, Yuri’s thumb slowly traced Chris’s lips.

As if drawing the shape he knew over the illusion Chris had put on for disguise.

“Yuri…”

Chris, his eyes reddened, panted.

He felt like he was losing his mind. But Yuri firmly pressed his shoulders and pushed him away.

“You’re not thinking of doing it here, are you?”

Chris pressed his lips shut.

He didn’t want to spend time with Yuri in a container that wasn’t even soundproof. Besides, who knows when others might barge in.

Like all Espers, Chris’s possessiveness and desire for exclusivity were almost at the level of madness. He just desperately suppressed it so it wouldn’t show.

“Don’t think about satisfying yourself alone when we get back… wait. We’ll be leaving here soon.”

At that command, Chris nodded slowly, his lips pressed tight with dissatisfaction.

He was too sweet on what he had just shared with Yuri to express dissatisfaction.

“Investigate this.”

Yuri took out the medicine he had collected while talking with Larry in the morning and threw it to Chris.

Chris caught it lightly, checked the white pills in the plastic bag, and asked,

“…What is this?”

“A panacea.”

It was laughable even as he said it.

But according to Larry’s words, it was almost at that level.

“There’s no way such a thing exists…”

Chris’s lips quivered in astonishment.

“That’s what we’re going to find out,” Yuri said, grinning and showing his teeth.