NOVEL WEB Chapter 1.22
“The tree to the top of the world”
It was a common cliché in folktales, so much so that it was safe to assume it wasn’t real, just the label of human imagination.
Yet there it was, in front of Nene’s eyes, on the horizon, piercing a grey cloud bank in the autumn sky. Nene, lying on the grass, observed it tormented by the mystery of the existence of such an absurd thing. The Emissary had assured her it was unrelated to the Evil One, so what was it? It was hard to believe it was God who had desired such a monstrosity. The thought of getting closer alone was enough to make her regret her choices. In ancient folktales and legends, it was common for witches to revere bizarre elements of nature. She imagined them gathered around that immense tree, living a life of perdition, performing blasphemous rites and sacrifices to the Evil One. The raiders wandering the forest she had heard about were not her main concern...
«Crazy, uh?»
Nila was sitting next to her, in the clearing at the foot of the hill, near the stream. Nene usually went there to do laundry, but that afternoon she and Nila had arranged to meet there without a specific purpose.
«When we first came here, I thought I had awakened in a sort of... nightmare, created by the Evil One to torment me», she confessed. «Every time I see that tree, I think it still might be the case»
«I admit it’s s-scary given how tall it is, but it’s also fascinating, don’t you think?»
«I don't know... You know, one of my sisters at the monastery loves stories about witches and monsters. I think it reminds me of one of those»
«Really? You gathered by candlelight, and she scared you with horror stories?»
«Basically»
Nila giggled. Nene couldn't get what was funny about it: in the past, Liaria had caused her countless sleepless nights. She had no idea why she had allowed it over and over in the first place.
«Ada told me mom's stories. S-since we've been here, well... I f-feel like I'm closer to her»
«What do you mean?»
«She was not born in the Principality. When I hear people around here talking about fairies and such, it reminds me of her. Her stories»
«Sounds… nice, but sad»
«Yeah. Say, Nene: how were things b-back at the monastery?»
«I don't know, nothing special, I think. We trained, we had teachers, we had classes… we all lived together in the same dormitory. Only Inquisitors who have completed their first assignment get to live in the Citadel»
«No, I meant… Your... your family?»
«I have no family. Most cadets don’t»
«F-forgive me. I’m sorry…»
«No need to. I had many brothers and sisters at the monastery»
«Like the one who tells scary stories?»
«Yes. Can you believe I met the Saint? Her name is Elora»
«Oh, y-you're a big shot, then», she teased her.
«You mock me, but once I dreamed of being part of her escort»
«Instead you will be m-mine and my sister's»
Nila smiled again. She was getting closer and closer. Was she trying to communicate something? The exchange they had that morning in the mayor's office came back to her mind, together with the doubt of having deluded herself about their relationship. At the end of the day, Nila was considerate of everyone, and Nene feared she had gotten the wrong idea.
«At your service», she said.
«Stop it», Nila laughed. «S-sometimes you talk funny»
«Is it... bad?»
Nila searched in the bag she had brought with her. She retrieved a canvas purse, took out a biscuit and handed it to her.
«I wish... I-I wish you were more relaxed when you're with me»
«I am relaxed», she lied.
Her voice came out a little higher pitched than usual, betraying her feelings. She sat up, grabbed the cookie and tried to pretend nothing had happened. Nila, however, sat next to her, making no sign of giving her a break.
«W-what are your plans here in Kumhar? Do you have any?»
The question caught her off guard. She lived with Oto and the Emissary, she had a job, what else did she need? She had only recently become an adult, had left the monastery a few weeks beforehand, and had never thought about it too deeply. She turned to Nila. Her face was way too close. She felt uncomfortable, inadequate to talk about plans for the future with an older woman.
«I... would like it if... we could continue to meet, like now», she stuttered.
«Oh…»
Nila didn't say anything else. Nene stared back at the ground, afraid she had ruined everything. She was flooded with so many emotions, so many different thoughts, that she wasn't even able to understand them. Had she messed up? She desperately wanted to look at Nila to try to understand it, but she couldn’t muster the courage. It was a disaster.
«I-I'd like it too»
Nila closed the last gap between them. They were shoulder to shoulder. Nene took a quick glance at her and figured that she wasn't the only one feeling out of her element. She wasn't sure what was happening, but she tried not to panic or let her imagination run too wild. She had read too many novels. Her mind began to picture things she would have been ashamed to even talk about.
«Nene… may I kiss you?»
Her efforts were to no avail. Her thoughts erupted into a plethora of romantic and dirty scenarios. Part of her called for a retreat, suggesting that that wasn't the time, that they weren't ready. Another rejoiced euphorically, celebrating the realisation of a long-lost desire of theirs. She flushed. She felt burning hot, especially her face. She gathered all her bravery but her throat felt sore. Had she tried to speak, a horrible sound would have come out.
She nodded.
Nila stuck her lips to her cheek for a moment. The feeling of warmth reminded her of the only kiss she had ever received, from sister Elora, when playing pretend. Elora usually played the Princess and made her play the Hunter. The moment went away in an instant, full of the meanings of an entire life. It was easy... She had always thought it to be so much more complex. She felt foolish, but above all, relieved: Nila was interested in her too. She dropped her head between her shoulders and smiled.
«You good?»
«Yes», she replied, gloating. «Yes, I am»
«You're blushing hard», Nila teased her again.
«I… It never occurred to me. I don't know what to say»
«Tell me if you l-liked it or not»
Nila was enjoying teasing her, making fun of her clumsiness and inexperience. However, it didn't feel malicious, more like a way of playing together. She smiled again.
«I did», she confessed. «Thank you»
«Oh, thank goodness! I-I almost thought I got the wrong idea...»
«You too?»
They locked eyes. The situation had become so embarrassing it was funny. Nila pushed her away and stood up.
«You're a-awful at this, Nene»
«Uh... sorry?»
Nila laughed. What had happened between them not long before seemed so distant. Nene finally understood her feelings about it all: she wanted to leave behind the unpleasant events of the past. She wanted to make things better, to be happy.
«What now?», she asked.
«I'm going home. I-I have to help my sister mend her stupid socks, remember?»
Unlike her, Nila seemed to be at ease again. Nene was giving too much weight to what was but a small gesture, but she couldn't help it. She felt disappointed by Nila’s mundane response.
«Of course, you promised... Can I come to your place tomorrow?»
«Whenever you want. B-but maybe it's better if I come to yours. Ada is… a-annoying sometimes»
They went up the hill to Jiriel's house. After agreeing to meet again the following day, Nila set off towards the village. It was dusk already, and wandering the hill at night was quite dangerous. Nene felt melancholy and alone watching her go.
«’sup? Did something happen?»
Jiriel greeted Nene with her usual turbulence and read her like a book. It was to be expected from an Emissary capable of seeing mortal souls.
«Nothing important», she lied.
«Suuuure. Come on, tell me!»
The Emissary's innocent curiosity annoyed her. She didn't feel like talking about how she felt. She suspected the angel wouldn't be able to understand, such was the difference between a mortal and a divine being.
«I would rather not, my Lady»
«Oh… whatever», she said disappointed. «So? Are you ready to meet Kora?»
Oto came down from his room at that moment. He waved hello to her and started the fire.
«There are complications: we don't know the path. We were advised not to go near the ruins. Also there’s been some skirmishes in the forest»
«Told ya. The mayor sped up wall-building out of fear of war»
«Which war?», Oto asked.
«I don't know, maybe it’s just nomads. Elders say that nomadic shepherds used to come from the east to pillage and claim pastures. Maybe it's happening again»
«Well, basically we don't know how to get there, nor the dangers we might encounter»
«Where are you going?», the boy asked.
«To the giant tree, northeast»
«I can accompany you»
«No!» Jiriel yelled.
Her reaction left them both astonished. The boy approached the Emissary, suspicious.
«Why not?»
«Because… it's dangerous, I don't want you to go to a dangerous place»
«I can't go, but Nene can?»
«But... it's just... she knows how to defend herself! Nene, you tell him! Help me out!»
«Oto, I appreciate your offer, but I think…»
«Do you need a guide? I can do it», he insisted. «Jiriel, if you're so worried, then come with us»
The Emissary looked at them, inscrutable. For an instant, her usual excessive facial expressions disappeared, as she projected the impassive majesty one would expect from an angel.
Then the unthinkable happened.
Massive tears dripped from Jiriel's eyes. Her face wasn't being marked by them, the water disappeared in an instant, but her sobs couldn't lie: she was crying.
«You're mean, Oto…»
He crossed his arms, unwilling to give up. Jiriel walked to him beseechingly, leaving Nene astonished. Before her eyes, the Emissary of God was helpless in front of a simple child, for reasons she didn't even understand.
«Please don't go», she begged while sobbing. «If... if something happens to you, what will I do?»
«Nothing bad will happen. I’ll be with Nene. I'm tired of this, of you refusing to leave town. I feel trapped with you!»
The angel knelt at his feet, trembling. Oto patted her head like a parent would.
«I can't go! I would, but… Oto! Oto!»
Jiriel buried her face against the boy's chest, who continued to caress her.
«Nene is also part of the family, I don't want to let her go alone»
Nene was left stunned. She was pleased to know she was so important to him, but what shocked her most was the sudden change in her Lady’s behaviour. The Emissary kept whimpering for a couple of minutes while the boy consoled her. Finally, she got back to her feet. Her light was dim, the colour patterns on her wings were moving very slowly and her bronze eyes became dull, brown like earth.
«Nene, I'm counting on you. You keep an eye on him»
«Yes, my Lady»
«Two eyes! Don't take unnecessary risks. Always watch over him, don't lose sight of him!»
Oto chuckled, unlike Nene, who felt enormous pressure on her. Everyone seemed to consider her as the one responsible for that expedition’s safety, when the only one who had a vague idea of what they were about to face was Oto himself. However, having him by her side made her feel better. She could trust his judgement. Sometimes he appeared naive, but he was not a fool at all, he was used to moving in the forest and knew how to get food.
«Tomorrow I will go to Sonhir and squeeze out every soldier and thing he can give you», Jiriel said. «Wanna a bigger sword? My armour? Great idea! Oto, you should wear it»
«My Lady, I am grateful, but I believe carrying too much would only slow us down. What do you think?»
«When I was little, adults always took me to that part of the forest and said the same thing. There's a hunter's camp there, in case we need shelter»
Jiriel spent the rest of the afternoon trying to convince Oto to stay, alternating with temporary bursts of practical apprehension. Nene had never seen her so active, she was usually lazy and relaxed, but she spent the day checking Oto's boots, piling warnings on him, choosing which blanket was the warmest for him... After several hours of enduring, Oto slipped into his room claiming that he wanted to go to sleep as soon as dinner was over. Jiriel tried to hold him back by offering him more food, but he refused and ran upstairs. Nene thus found herself alone with the Emissary, sitting at the table.
«Nene, help me!» she blasted.
«My Lady, what's going on?!»
She looked around, scrutinised the angel, but nothing seemed out of place. Jiriel started screaming all of a sudden for no reason, what was wrong with her?
«You’re human too, so explain! What am I missing? Why does Oto want to leave? Why doesn't he stay?»
«I... I think he has explained already. He wants to help me»
«Uhmf»
The Emissary grimaced and turned her back. Sometimes she behaved like an actor on stage, unaware of how ridiculous her exaggerated behaviour looked.
«It was you who suggested this quest in the first»
«Yes, but I didn't want Oto to come with you! Ugh… I'll be alone…»
«My Lady, why can't you accompany us?»
«Because... if I leave, Lemon will feel lonely»
Her pathetic excuse was so insane that for a second Nene forgot who was in front of her, and looked at her with disdain, feeling like punching her. Jiriel played with her fork, realising she had been caught red-handed.
«I can't. That’s it. I'm sorry», she explained.
«I don’t understand. Still, Oto, he…»
Hearing his name, Jiriel regained some of her brightness. She seemed to expect Nene to have a solution, but the truth was different: she was just trying to find words of comfort, for that angel who was acting more and more like a possessive brat.
«What?»
«Oto is not leaving forever. He is very fond of you, but... he also has other interests. There are things he wants to know, places he wants to see»
«I could tell him about all the places and things in this world! Almost…»
«My Lady, I thought you would understand human curiosity better than anyone»
«Yeah», she sighed. «I know. And believe me… I understand but… I'm worried. He is so innocent! People always try to take advantage of him, like that filthy seamstress who gifts him stuff just because he’s oh-so-cute!»
«I think you're underestimating him. I’m no expert, but... You know, they say that a parent at a certain point in their life must leave their children to fend for themselves. Let them leave the nest and take flight, so they say»
«I'm not his parent!», Jiriel protested. «Not even a bird! I wanna keep him with me!»
«Now you're throwing a tantrum again»
«Oto hates me!!!»
With that last cry, the Emissary ran to the small door that led to the basement, entered at full speed and slammed it vigorously.
Despite the unnecessary drama, Nene felt warm inside. It was pleasant to see how her Lady, however eccentric and annoying, was fond of Oto. She collected the dishes in the bucket, turned off the fireplace and curled up in an armchair. The skies were still covered in clouds, and the night was very dark. She should have tried to sleep but couldn’t help thinking. not so much about the upcoming dangers, but about the complex and unusual emotions she had felt that day. From the moment she had said goodbye to Nila, she had felt inexplicably alone. Instinct told her to go upstairs to Oto. It wouldn't have been nice to disturb him, but she felt restless. She hoped he could forgive her. She groped her way in the almost complete darkness. The nightgown restricted her movement a little, being borrowed and oversized. She found the ladder and climbed it on all fours up to Oto's door. A faint light filtered from under the doorframe. She knocked.
«Jiriel?»
«It’s Nene»
«Come in»
She entered, finding Oto sitting on the bed, also in his nightgown, with a candle on the bedside table. He was observing a golden metallic object and looked tired.
«Sorry, but… I can't sleep. Can we talk for a moment?»
«You can sit here if you want»
She sat down next to the boy. She looked at the trinket he was holding: a gold medallion, very old and tarnished. The chain ring was broken and quite worn. It reminded her of those medallions that were given to priests who distinguish themselves for their service to the Church.
«What is it?», she asked.
«It was Grandpa’s. You know… I wanted Jiriel to come with us. But she said no, and now I'm scared»
«You still have time to think again. I'll get by anyway»
«No, I was serious. I wanna help you. You’re my sis’»
The straight face with which Oto said the most absurd things astonished her once again. She was grateful that the dim light partially hid their faces, or Oto would have seen her face turning red.
«Do you know why the Emissary refuses to accompany us?»
«No. It’s always been like this. She never wanted to tell me why. At first, I thought it was an excuse. You know she's like, super lazy. I thought she couldn’t be bothered to walk too far»
«Isn’t that the case? What do you think?»
«I don't know. Jiriel knows many things and keeps many secrets»
They remained silent for a few moments. The candlelight flickered because of the drafts. Nene got up and checked that the window was closed tightly.
«I was wondering... well... May I sleep here tonight?»
«Okay»
«Oh... Thank you. I'll go get a mat downstairs»
«Huh? Forget it, we fit in both»
Oto crawled into his bed, shrank to one side and stared at her. Nene stood still. Did he expect her to sleep side by side with him?! At the monastery she, Elora and Liaria had repeatedly tried to sleep together under a single blanket, but each time they had been caught out and punished. In the Principality, it was considered poor behaviour, which is why nomads, often forced to share the same tent, were the object of slander. On the other hand, she was not in the Principality anymore, and Oto had told her several times that he considered her part of his family.
She gathered her courage and climbed onto the bed. Oto gave up space as she dug into the covers. It was warm down there, but for some reason, she still felt uncomfortable, and she remained stiff as a log.
«Put out the candle, please», the boy asked.
She obliged and darkness fell. Oto rolled over in bed, giving his back to her. She stared into the darkness, wondering what she was doing. She had come to him because she was feeling restless, but she had only succeeded in making things worse.
«Oto, are you asleep?»
«No. I can't if you speak»
«Sorry! Sorry! It’s just… you know… we… where I’m from people don't…»
«Wanna talk about something?»
She bit her lip. Her agitation was so obvious that it was noticeable even in the dark. She took a breath.
«Today Nila and I went to the stream. We chatted and ate biscuits»
Oto turned to her. Nene instinctively did the same, lying on her side. Even though they could hardly see each other at all, it was still easier to talk face-to-face.
«Nila is the blonde girl, right?»
«Yes, exactly. And… and then… I was looking at the view and…»
«And?»
Nene almost caught fire. Memories made her sweat, to the point that she was about to give up on telling him. Yet she was trying so hard to talk to Oto... She had to go through.
«She... kissed me»
«Oh, wow!», Oto exclaimed, suddenly raising his voice. «Cool!»
«Yes! I mean, no! Actually, yes... But... now I feel sad»
«How come? Don't you like her?»
«I do! A lot, you see… I miss her, I think»
Oto reached over her shoulder. He pulled her close, so close she could feel the heat of his body, his breath in her hair. She stiffened again.
«I think you're in love», he told her.
«I don't want to think about it...»
«That's a good thing, no?»
«I guess...»
«Keeping things inside is though»
She snuggled into Oto’s hug. She curled her legs and listened to the sound of their breath to lull herself. Before long, she began to feel light-headed and drowsy.
«Oto?»
«Uh?»
«I'm... happy to... have a...»
She hated herself for how much she was stumbling over her words. Unfortunately, talking about feelings was not her strong point. Quite the opposite, she had often been taught to keep them under control, to protect herself and others from the Evil One.
«I'm happy to have a brother like you», she finally managed to say.
The boy held her a little tighter. She couldn't tell for sure since they were in the dark, but Nene was sure he was smiling.
«I’m the elder», he replied.
«You little...!»
She patted him on the chest. She listened to the rhythm of their breath until it became slower and deeper, and everything began to fade away.
The following day brought bad news: Jiriel's visit to the mayor had not achieved results, except for making him mad. Nene, Adanara and Nila went to his office to find out what resources they had at their disposal, and, predictably, there weren't many. Sonhir had asked the guard captain to gather volunteers to accompany them, but not a single person answered the call. Driving a wagon through the forest was impossible, so they could bring only what they could carry on their shoulders. Fortunately, the mayor had managed to spare them some useful tools for the journey, an axe, blankets, supplies...
As they left the manor, Nene noticed that Adanara had remained strangely silent the entire time. She thought she was angry about what had happened with Nila the day before, but why would her sister have told her about it? Nila seemed to share her intuition, as she approached the witch with a worried look.
«Ada? Is something missing?»
«No», she replied, annoyed.
«The mayor did the best he could. I'm sure everything will be fine. We also have Oto with us»
«Yeah, that’s cute... Look, what if it's all bullshit? What if the angel has made everything up? You know her. She's crazy, she’s complete nuts»
«The Emissary of God does not lie», Nene explained.
«Really? Really?! How can’t you notice? Has the Archangel of your Church never lied? How do you explain everything that’s going on right now?!»
«Ada, that's enough...»
«No, Nila, it's time she wakes up! Do you really think it's all that simple? That your “Lady” is as perfect and innocent as you believe?»
«The Emissary is... Yesterday she was worried about Oto and... she said to be careful. She cares about me and Oto. She would never let us go if she didn't think it was worth it»
Her eyes turned teary. Adanara's speech confused her. She felt like punching her, to silence her from spitting more nonsense about the Emissary. However, although she would have never admitted it, what bothered her more than anything was the doubt that the witch might be right. Jiriel was no stranger to weird behaviours, bizarre revelations and secrets. Even Oto was kept in the dark.
«Ada, I'm s-scared too, but I want you to be well even more»
«I'm not afraid! Also, I'm fine! I don't want us to get killed for nothing!»
Nene's vision blurred. In an instant, she was at the witch’s throat. Despite the height difference, she grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her down. Adanara’s terrified face confirmed her doubts: that woman was a coward. If anyone needed a wake-up call, it was her.
«Did you hear what the Emissary said? Did you see what happened when you were imprisoned? You could become dangerous to others, you could give in to the Evil One again, you could die! Do you want your sister to be alone? Do you want your father to have killed himself for nothing?»
Adanara stared at her for a moment in silence. Her eyes filled with tears. At the same time, she was showing her teeth. She let out a furious growl, wriggled out of her grasp, and ran away.
«Ada! Ada!», her sister called in vain.
Nila turned to her, heartbroken. Nene wasn't proud of having lost her composure like that. Had she made things worse?
«I'm sorry, I shouldn’t have said that», she apologised.
«Nene, I know my sister can be difficult sometimes, and that she started it and provoked you...»
The girl's expression changed. She frowned, approached her menacingly, all semblance of her usual kindness gone.
«Never talk about my father like that again», she commanded.
Nene looked down. She had gone too far and was aware of it. She had never meant to hurt their feelings, yet she had.
«Forgive me. I didn't mean to»
Nila smiled. She caressed her cheek. She went back to her usual self in an instant.
«I forgive you. L-leave it to me. I'll convince her, she's just scared»
«We all are»
«Yeah. Y-you and Oto come to us tomorrow early in the morning. We'll wait for you there. Is that okay?»
«Yes. See you tomorrow»
Nene looked towards their destination. The monstrous tree was visible over the rooftops of the city. Until a few weeks before she would never have dared to even think about going there. Was she on the verge of a great discovery, a revelation that would restore order to her shattered worldview, or were they simply chasing a legend?