Vampire Cultivation System in a Hidden World of Monsters

"So, battle derby?" I said.

"Yeah," Mira said. "Thanks for shielding me with your body. How did he miss you that many times though?"

She tried to walk around me to look at me back, but I turned so she couldn't see the holes in the back of my clothes.

"What are you hiding? Are you hit, Dylan? We need to get you to a hospital!" Mira said.

I gave up. There was no way for me to hide that I was shot and didn't get hurt. If I went to the hospital there would be even more questions waiting for me there.

"I'm fine," I said.

"Then let me see your back," Mira said through gritted teeth.

"I'm fine!" I said again.

"Let." She grabbed my balls. "Me." She squeezed them lightly. "See." She squeezed them harder. "Your." She squeezed them even harder. "Back." Surprised I hadn't gone down yet, she squeezed them with all the mechanical might her cybernetic hand could muster.
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It was at this point my balls finally sent a message to my brain. The message was, "Ow." I immediately collapsed to the ground. Ok. Apparently I'm not invincible. I can still be hurt. Good to know.

"Let go and I'll let you," I said in a raspy breath.

"That's better," she said. She pulled her hand off my junk. "Man, why do you have such huge genitals?"

"I don't know. Ask my mom," I said.

"Why would I ask your mom? That's gross," she said.

"It sounded better in my head," I said. I rolled over onto my stomach so she could see my back, and so I didn't have to get up. I was still in a lot of pain. I had directed Vi to the injury site to heal it and it did, but the nerves were still sending ouchie signals to my brain.

"Oh. You were hit a lot," she said as she lifted up the back of my shirt and jacket and inspected my back. She peeled the bullets off my skin. "Why did the bullets flatten like this? Do you have some sort of cyberware on your back?" She pressed against my back with her hands feeling my skin and muscles. "No, this is your real skin. I'd be able to tell if you had any cyberware on you."

Mira pulled my shirt and jacket back down and sat down on the side walk next to me. "Ok, man. What's the deal? You some kind of superhuman or something?"

"Something like that," I said as I turned over onto my back so I could look at her from the ground. "I'm a vampire. I have superhuman strength, speed, and durability."

"A vampire? That's what you're going with? I was thinking you were part of some government experiment secret agent program or something," she said. "Look if you don't want to tell me that's fine."

"No. I'm serious. I'm a vampire. Watch." I opened my mouth, and lengthened and shortened my canine teeth in front of her.

"Huh. Ok. So you're a vampire. How do you know about my family history? How do you know about Dylan Calabrese?" She said.

"Because I am Dylan Calabrese," I said.

"What, so you're a time traveling vampire now?" She said.

"No, but technically I wouldn't need to time travel. I could've just waited a hundred to two hundred years until today because I'm a vampire. I'm immortal. I didn't do that though," I said.

"Ok, so if you didn't time travel and you didn't wait two hundred years or whatever, how did you get to the future?" She said.

"That's the thing. This isn't the future. It just looks like it is. From your point of view," I said.

"If this isn't the future then what is it?" She said.

"You know that movie about how the main character was stuck in a computer program his whole life? It's kind of like that, but not exactly," I said.

"What is it exactly, then?" She said.

"This is a video game simulation. You're an artificially intelligent NPC in a video game. There! You happy now?" I said.

"No! It isn't real! Get away from me!" She unnecessarily pushed me away from her with her hands. She could've just got up and walked away. I was laying on the ground.

That's what she did after she pushed me. She got up and ran away.

"Huh. I probably should've expected that," I said to myself.

[She stole your wallet]

'I had a wallet?'

[In this video game simulation level, yes, you had a wallet]

'Oh. Then I'm pretty sure I know where she's going. Do I still have access to my pocket dimension wallet? She didn't just take all my money did she?'

[No. She has a credit card that has access to your wallet money though]

"Oh, shit! I better get after her then," I said. I tried to get up but I fell over. After a minute, I finally got up, but by that time she was long gone.

"I wonder where that battle derby place is," I said.

A large shadow momentarily blocked out the sun. I looked up. It was a blimp. It had a screen on it that said, "Try your luck at the battle derby!" It had a lit up arrow pointing in the direction of a large colosseum style building that I was surprised I hadn't noticed earlier.

"I see," I said. I began running to the colosseum. With my enhanced speed I made it there pretty quickly. There was no sign of Mira though.

I went up to a ticket booth outside the colosseum and said, "I'd like to sign up for the battle derby?"

A really bored looking lady was filing her nails behind the counter. Without looking up she grabbed a bunch of different pieces of paper, stapled them together and slid them under the window.

"You're going to fill out all those forms and then hand it back to me," she said, still looking at her nails.

"Ok," I said. I looked over the forms and began to sign each spot one by one without reading the fine print. I know you're supposed to read the fine print, but what good would that do me?

I had to sign up to get Mira back. What good would knowing how many ways this company could screw me be?