Vale… Is Not a Vampire?

I was looking down because I did not want to subject Shae to the look in my eyes. Keeping my face passive might have been more natural for me than emoting, but the same could not be said about my gaze. Even emotionless, passive, unbreathing, my father could tell what I was thinking simply from the look in my eyes. I did not want to risk the small chance that Shae could do the same.

Deserves it!

Treating me like a little kid…

Knows I’m one of the monsters.

Shouldn’t be this reckless.

Yes, I decided that I did want to risk it. She was allowed to know that this pissed me off. She needed to be made aware that I would not tolerate this. I wanted her to learn that you did not mess with a monster, no matter how nice they might seem. So I glowered at the hand she held out towards me, patiently waiting for the other glove. Snarling I threw it at her. She snatched it out of the air before it could hit her face.

“Yeah, totally cute.” Shae tsked, tucked my gloves in the back of her trousers, and then held the knife out for me again. When I reached for it she cupped my hands in hers, intertwined our fingers, and brought her face close. “Still not scared of you.”

It was a mask, this offhand remark of her. I had seen through it. She could not lie to the master-liar. There had been a momentary widening in her eyes when I had snarled, accompanied by an acceleration of her heartbeat. Fear, present in everything from her posture down to her scent. Even the words she spoke and the way she reached for my hands were just a way to mask her fright. I wanted to kick myself. It didn’t matter how good it felt. Scaring the one person in this town that wasn’t afraid of me wasn’t a smart move.

Shae gave my hands a last little shake, then let go and pointed at the worktop. “Now get to work.”

She really doesn’t get it, does she?

She’s so lucky she didn’t cut herself on my claws.

I glared up at her one last time, then got up on the tips of my toes to reach for the first vegetable. They were beets. Shae had confirmed it for me. They felt a bit squishy for beets though. Maybe that was just me. I barely knew what a beet looked like.

With an awkward hold on the knife, I made my first incision. It truly was pathetic. I knew three different ways to skin an animal but had to be told how to cut vegetables. While both involved a knife, somehow none of the skills translated. Vegetables didn’t have legs or spines.

Sooo… they won’t really care if these are cut a little weird, right?

No. No, they wouldn’t. By the end of the second beet, I’d sort of gotten the hang of things. A little. Only a little. By the time I was halfway through the third beet the scratching and clucking of chickens coming in through the window was beginning to annoy me. I took that as a hopeful sign. I was getting good enough at this to have attention to spare on annoyance.

Actually, on both my annoyance and on the dissonant mix of emotions mingled in between Shae’s wildflower taste. It made me think back to Shae’s actions, how she’d provoked me. While her being scared of me was an issue, it wasn’t the heart of the matter.

It’s…

I’m not human…

People that…

I do not like where this train of thought is going

“So...” Shae hesitated, interrupting my dark thoughts. “When you healed Meg, did you use magic?”

“Yeh.” I nodded, eager for a change of subject.

“Daddy claims monsters can’t use healing magic,” she speculated, still eagerly working away at the chicken.

“Um…” I stared at her back, unsure of how to respond to that, but with a great deal of caution. Maybe this line of questioning meant she was at least somewhat aware of how dangerous I could be. After the gloves, I doubted it though. Which meant she was going somewhere else with this. The dark juxtapositions now present in her scent made me suspect she might not be certain herself where she wanted to take this.

“Will you use magic to heal Uncle Tare as well?” Shae inquired hastily, as if sensing my hesitation.

“Maybe. I will need to assess his injuries first,” I latched on to the safer topic.

“Can I watch?” the girl pleaded, turned towards me now.

Eh? What?

“No!” I shut her down with a hasty shout. Maybe it was a little too abrupt and loud, but I really did not need people watching while I was healing people. I didn’t even know the extent of the man’s injuries. She was only eleven and wasn’t supposed to get this excited over watching horribly mutilated monster attack victims.

“Why not?” she begged.

“It is not something you should be watching.” I sighed.

“I’m not a kid,” she insisted. “I can help,” she twirled a finger on the tabletop, glanced down, then looked at me through lidded eyes. I wondered if she was finally going to get to the topic she’d been dancing around for so long. Eventually, she exhaled in a highly exaggerated fashion. “Daddy called you a vampire...”

She sort of left that dangle in the air and I sucked in a harsh breath, afraid that if I didn’t breathe as loud as I was doing now that I’d forget to keep pretending to breathe entirely. My claws cut deep into the beet I was holding, all the way to the wood below.

I should have run!

Why didn’t I run?

I have to run!

“... I mean, you’re not right? Vampires are evil and you healed people so you can’t be a vampire,” Shae blurted out in a single breath, perhaps sensing the sudden tension in the air.

“I’m not a vampire,” I answered just as fast, almost talking over her. Far too fast for a natural answer.

Why? Just one day. One moment of carelessness. A second of letting down my guard. A single act of kindheartedness. Just once that I didn’t walk away.

This is why I avoid people, why I keep up this whole charade.

It was no longer a possibility now, but a fact. Her father knew. I had to leave, right now. I should never have returned here. If they had called for a hunter or alerted the Inquisition then I was dead. It didn’t matter what I’d just promised.

Uncle Tare can go die in a ditch for all I care.

They all can!

Palming the mutilated beet I turned to leave. Shae was pressed up against the counter, as far away from me as she could, eyes wide.

What did I just do?

What did I say?

What kind of crazed look must I have on my face that makes her react like this?

Is it because she just considered I might really be a vampire?

“I’m leaving.” I rushed past her. I didn’t care anymore. Grabbing my cloak I headed for the door. Shae still had my gloves. That didn’t bother me, I always carried spares.

“Vale! Wait! I’m sorry...” Shae pleaded behind me.

I turned towards the girl standing in the kitchen. “I wasn’t here, right. No one came by here. Someone else. I don’t care. Just not me,” I begged her. I so hoped she’d listen. Either way, I’d have to ride through the night. Several nights, at the least. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come here.”

I really was sorry. If the Inquisition came for me it wouldn’t just be my life that was at risk. I ... cared for someone. I cared for her and I had to run.

I rushed out the door. Sunlight assaulted me, and I struggled to retain my footing through the sudden shift from the protected indoor environment to the harsh outdoors.

“Shae! Did you take care of the pig, as I asked you?” A voice from somewhere off to the left. Less than fifty paces. Around the corner. Crisp. Nervous. Not-quite-yeast. Her dad. My heart sank. I was dead.