Unwritten Desires

Eleanor

"So when you take the determinant of A minus lambda I, you get…" My voice trailed off as I wrote some numbers down, circling it with my pen.

Jake didn't respond. 

The hum of the library's overhead light buzzed faintly in the background and I could hear the soft chatter of the other people in the library, but the silence between Jake and I was louder. 

He was watching me, I could feel it. 

I swallowed, finally daring to glance up. His eyes weren't on the equation. They were on me but the second our eyes met, he hastily dropped his gaze to the book. 

"You're not paying attention," I murmured, tapping my pen against the open book. 

"I am paying attention." He said, sounding almost mad. 

"Mhmm." I gave him a knowing look as I sat up, leaning back in my seat with my arms crossed. "Okay then, what was the last thing I said?" I raised a brow. 

He then stared at me for a few seconds before sighing and shifting his gaze to the book. "You said, when you take the determinant of A minus lambda I, you get a quadratic equation." He explained, slowly taking the pen from my hands. "Factor it, and you'll see that X equals… five and two." He said, gesturing towards the book with the pen in his hand before turning to me with a smug look. 

"So…you knew it this whole time?" 

"Nah." He dropped the pen on the table. "I was just paying attention." He drawled, his tone heavy with sarcasm. 

"Haha. Very funny." I huffed with an eye roll, somewhat relieved that some of the tension had dissipated. 

"So I guess we're done here?" I asked, flipping through the textbook absentmindedly, barely registering the words on the page. 

"I suppose." Jake spoke in a light tone as he got up. "I guess now we can go to the arcade."

"What?" My brows furrowed and it wasn't until gasps echoed through the hall that I realized I was raising my voice. "What are you talking about?" I dropped my voice to a small whisper as I followed after him. 

"Neon nexus?" He finally spoke when we both left the library. "The place we normally go to cool off our brains and chill after studying?" He cocked a brow. 

"Right." I flashed him a weird smile as I struggled with the books in my hands. 

"Are you sure you don't need a checkup?" He questioned, taking the books from me. "You're seriously scaring me right now." He said slowly, slipping the books into my bag. 

"You're forgetting a lot of things that you aren't supposed to be forgetting. I mean…do you even remember what happened the last two times we were at the arcade together?" He asked, looking almost terrified as he zipped my bag from behind me. 

Gosh, how did I even get myself into situations like this? 

"Of course I remember." I said in a soft voice as we walked side by side. I obviously had no idea what he was talking about but from the glint in his eyes and the way he was looking at me, I could tell it had something to do with Jake and Thea's relationship. 

Which meant if I found a way to convince him without actually saying it then… 

"I mean…how could I forget?" My eyes flickered to the side as I tucked a loose strand behind my ear for dramatic effect. 

Hurray, ten points for me. Who knows? Maybe I should consider going into acting if I ever find time after this. 

The arcade wasn't that far away from the town library, if I was going to be frank, it was just a ten minute walk away. By the time we got to the arcade, I turned to Jake as I noticed he hadn't said anything this whole time, only to find him staring at me. 

I wanted to ask him what was wrong but I felt like I already knew the answer and I didn't want to hear it, so I stayed quiet, my gaze never leaving his. 

"But…but if you didn't forget…" he paused, bringing back the topic as his gaze flickered over my face. His voice was quieter now, but there was something raw beneath it. Something that made my chest tighten. "…then why are you acting strange, Thea? Why are you suddenly avoiding me and finding excuses to run off with Sofia?" He moved closer, reducing the distance between us and my throat bobbed with a hard swallow. 

What on earth could he be talking about? Did he and Thea kiss? 

No. 

I'm certain if they kissed or almost kissed, things would have been different. 

Way different. 

A thought dropped in my head and I caught my breath just in time, stifling the gasp that had almost escaped my lips.

No…did they? 

But I don't remember reading anything about that in the novel…but then again, this was Sofia's story and not Thea so it would be perfectly normal if this wasn't written in the book. 

"I'm not avoiding you, Jake." I said, trying my best not to move back and confirm his doubts. We were on the sidewalk for crying out loud. People were staring, why didn't he care about that? 

"You pulled away from me earlier, and you always make up silly excuses whenever we're together." He moved even closer, trapping me against the wall as I was on the inner side of the walkway. 

So I guess my suspicions were right. Jake and Thea did confess their feelings to each other but then…why didn't Sofia know about this? 

Wasn't she her best friend? 

And if they were together now, why didn't they text or call? 

Were they hiding their relationship from everyone? But why? 

And if they were eventually hiding their relationship, why wasn't Jake worried about someone else seeing him right now? 

My head was spinning with questions but Jake didn't even give me time to think. 

"Tell me did I do something wrong?" 

"Jake, I…" 

"Can you two take your stupid love nonsense and get out of the way?" A voice interrupted right before Jake crashed into me. 

The sudden force knocked the air out of my lungs as my back collided with the wall and for a second, all I could process was the solid weight of him pinning me there. 

"Morons." I heard a low mumble from behind Jake and I didn't need anyone to tell me to know it was the same person who had pushed him. 

But why did his voice sound a bit familiar though?