Unwritten Desires

Eleanor 

Jake stared into my eyes, his fingers grazing my cheeks while I scoured through my brain for ways to avoid whatever was about to happen just now. 

Luckily I thought of one. 

"Wait Micheal knows about us…" I asked moving away. 

"No no no." 

"You told him?" I raised my brows, faking disbelief and disappointment. "How could you?" 

"Thea, I didn't. He just found out." 

"He just found out." I repeated his words with a bored expression. "So why hasn't Sofia found out?" 

"Thea…" he reached for me but I pulled away again. Good, now I had a reason to. And to top it all off, the moment was already ruined so there was no way anything could happen between us now. 

I suppressed my smile. 

And somehow, yet again, I had found a way to avoid Jake.

Hurray for me. 

"It wasn't my fault, you know how Micheal is. Nothing gets past him." He dropped his phone beside him. 

"You don't have an excuse." I folded my arms. "Sofia is literally as nosy as Micheal is, and she still doesn't know. Just admit that you slipped up." 

"Ok fine. I did." He let out an exasperated sigh. 

He was getting pissed. 

Good. 

If I somehow found a way to stop him from touching me then I might as well end the whole thing and that wouldn't be possible if I didn't piss him off. 

I would probably deal with the consequences later but right now…I needed to get him to break up with me or if possible do it myself. 

"But won't you even give me credit for the fact that I went along with your silly request without even questioning you?" 

My nose crinkled. "What are you talking about?" 

"I'm talking about the fact that you don't want our relationship to be public. Are you ashamed of me or is it something else?" His eyes darkened as he held my gaze. 

My lips after slightly, and for a second, I debated whether to say what I was thinking or not. But when I thought about the possible outcomes, I gave a nonchalant shrug and muttered. "Who knows? Maybe I am." 

I watched as Jake's jaw clenched and he let out a short, humorless laugh. "Nah, you don't mean that." His voice sounded low and steady, but there was an edge to it. 

"If you were really ashamed of me, it would be obvious and you wouldn't want to be seen around me at all. You wouldn't even want to sit next me or have lunch with me. You wouldn't even let Sofia hang around me either. And you'd actually keep our meet-ups hidden, not just our relationship." 

Shit. He got me. 

How was I going to respond to that now? He had me surrounded. 

Jake exhaled sharply, moving closer as he slowly placed his arm on the bed frame, trapping me against the wall. "So tell me the truth." His voice dropped to a whisper, his breath grazing my skin and I felt it again. 

The same throbbing sensation between my legs that had been haunting me every night. Yes, I remember back then when I still used to be a teenager, I used to get horny often and I always kept daydreaming of how I was going to be fucked by my boyfriend and ended up touching myself but ever since I got reincarnated in this body, the urges were becoming way too much. 

I kept wondering if it was because I had outgrown this stage of my life and now I was forced to relive it or simply because I hadn't had sex or been with a man in a long time. Whatever it was, I needed it to stop because I couldn't keep fingering myself to sleep every night. 

I had looked through Thea's room to see if she had any sex toys that I could use but apparently she was as innocent as a lamb. 

Okay maybe not that innocent since she had a boyfriend but yeah…she definitely had high morals and principles. 

"Come on, Thea." Jake said, when I hadn't said anything for the past few seconds, pulling me out of my thoughts. He tilted his head, his eyes searching my face for something. Anything. "You know you can tell me." 

I forced myself to stay still and ignored the throbbing feeling in my leg by pressing them together. My heartbeat quickened…not in anticipation, but in frustration. 

I didn't want to keep doing this. 

No matter how I looked at it, this was completely wrong and I didn't want it. 

So I did what I always did. 

I found a way out. 

Pushing his hand off the bed frame, I rushed out of the bed, taking more and more steps until I was far away enough and I could breathe properly again. "I'm not hiding anything from you, Jake." I said, my voice sounding cool and even though my thoughts were all over the place. 

"I just want you to go away." I turned to face him. 

His expression darkened as he stared at me with a confused look. "Go away? What do you mean by that?" 

"I mean what it means Jake." I snapped, my patience wearing thin. "I don't want to do this anymore. Just leave." 

"What?" Jake squinted his eyes, getting up from my bed. He was about walking towards me when I put my hand up. 

"Just leave." I repeated, backing away and silence stretched between us as we stared at each other. Jake's lips pressed into a tight line, and for a moment, I thought he was going to argue or keep pushing. 

But then, something in his eyes shifted. 

And without another word, he grabbed his phone from the bed, his movements slowed and almost robotic. Then he picked up his cross bag and turned on his heel and walked out. 

And it wasn't until he closed the door behind him that I finally let out a long, heavy breath. 

Finally….

I had finally gotten rid of Jake. 

I was certain my actions would have consequences because according to the book, I was supposed to be dead by now and not only that, I had ended things with Jake. 

The guy who was supposed to be Thea's love interest. But then again…if I died that day, Jake would have still moved on from me right? 

I mean, it took a while in the novel but he eventually did right? 

I guess now all I had to do was find out what happened to the real Thea and if she's really dead and deal with the other consequences that come my way. 

Piece of cake.