Unwilling Eldritch Horror of Fortune

Xalla could hardly contain her emotions after sending Arbiter Watt back to the testing grounds. He was everything she had ever wanted from an individual; it was like he jumped straight out of one of her favourite cheesy Romance Engrams. She couldn’t believe that someone so perfect could exist outside of fiction.

Even before seeing his Secondary Form, Xalla could sense that the Xollon underneath that pitiful Human suit was stunning, there was no way someone with such a commanding voice could be anything other than that. That low, rumbling frequency that his Boor Membrane was able to produce was otherworldly. But even her imagination couldn’t do the Arbiter’s looks justice.

Xalla replayed the moment he shed that disguise, rewinding that memory over and over again in her cortex. She marveled at how massive the Arbiter was, towering over her, and it was clear by his scar-covered body that he was most certainly a distinguished conqueror and hunter of great ability. Xalla was practically drooling when she first saw that gleaming, crimson maw, and his rows of perfectly serrated teeth.

Yet Xalla would not be flaunting over him quite so hard if the Arbiter was only a hulking warrior. There was enough of those plastered all over the advertisements back home, and she was bored of the stereotypical idiot warrior that most of her race defaulted to. Instead, it was the subtle imperfections that made her adore the man’s appearance. She liked how his left-most frill was ever so slightly smaller than the others, or the lopsided grin he would make when she told him something funny. Xalla liked the small discolorations in the tips of his feelers that gave him a boyish charm, and how gentle he was when she embraced him. It was like the multiverse custom-made a man that suited her individual tastes!

And if his physical perfection wasn’t enough, he was also an official Central Arbiter! Xalla only heard of a handful of Xollon who had managed to make their way to such a high position of power, and the fact that he was able to take such a role despite being so obviously battle-capable showed tremendous restraint. She wondered if he shared her drive to improve the image of the Xollon as a whole, choosing such a difficult career path.

No, Xalla reasoned, he must have the same ideals as she did!

To top off an already impressive resume of qualities, the Lord Arbiter was also an accomplished Alchemist, and more importantly, he was sociable! That was a rare quality for any Xollon, much less one so obviously capable. Most Xollon of his stature would be vain, egotistical pricks, but not the Lord Arbiter. In fact, never once did he boast of the no doubt many conquests that he had.

Which is only right, Xalla thought, as a true conqueror would let his actions speak for themselves.

To put it bluntly, Xalla was enamored. It was like meeting everything that she ever wanted in person. She found someone who checked off all of the boxes she found appealing in a Xollon of the opposite sex, and then some, and he seemed to like, or at least appreciate her!

But she sighed to herself. There was no way that someone like that would not be taken.

However… perhaps there was some hope?

She did find it odd that he didn’t talk about his upbringing at all. Perhaps he had a dark and disjointed past that he didn’t want to share until they got to know each other closer? Was he scorned or exiled from Xolloid as a youth, forced to fend for himself in a Multiverse hostile to their species? Maybe he grew up as an orphan, forced to fend for himself on the streets of the Hive, and he slowly grew stronger until he had the opportunity to work in Central. So many possibilities swam through her cortex, and Xalla let her imagination run wild.

Which could also mean that he didn’t have someone waiting for him back home.

Xalla almost shivered thinking about such a possibility. There were so many unknowns about him, but she loved how deadly and mysterious the new Arbiter was - it was exactly like the plot of her favourite Dramas! Yet the more rational side of her realized that life rarely imitates art. But that’s fine, she could still dream. Plus, Xalla looked forward to the possibility of slowly finding out more about him, hopefully unraveling some tragic past that she could help fix. Ah, if only…

But for now, Xalla did have the perfect excuse to see him again: food!

If there was one thing that she was confident in, it was hunting and pickling, since the two generally go feeler to feeler. Her mother had taught her everything about the latter, while her father had the former, and she was going to do them proud.

However, just before she could act on her intentions, Xalla frowned and a sense of dread washed over her. She quickly opened a rip in the dimension and jumped through to her dorm. Rushing towards the back, she opened the door to her food storage and almost wanted to scream. It seems like her memories didn’t lie.

The room was practically empty! Xalla knew that she was relying on the Cafeteria at work for her meals - one of the perks of being the head of security meant that they had a menu specifically made for Xollons - but she didn’t think that her personal food stocks would get so low. There were a few half-pickled individuals strewn around, but those were the species that she found unappetizing, which is also why they were the only ones that were left. The food was only twitching occasionally now, so not only did they taste bad, but they were also going bad at this point.

Xalla picked up the ones that were going to spoil and tossed their bodies into the compost bin by the side. The Xolloid Acid Crawlers there would make better use of the uneaten food than she could at this point. At least they would turn into a nutrient-rich paste after. She made sure to seal the lid to the bin shut, shutting off the last of the agonized screams coming from the half-picked food.

She went further to the back of her storage, trying to see if there was anything worthy of note. She still had a crate full of Shoggoths, but those were snacks at most, she had almost nothing substantial. The only thing that was presentable aside from the Shoggoths were some tiny gray creatures she had locked up in a food cage. There was about two dozen of them stuffed in the container.

These gray, bipedal organisms were a highly intelligent, psychic race, and had a rather large cranium that took up more than half their body size. Although Xalla found their meat to be rather bland, they made for a remarkably efficient energy drink. If she made a small opening in their large skulls, and slowly nibbled away with her proboscis at the gray matter underneath, the psychic waves of pain and despair emitted would give her a nice jolt of energy. And because these creatures had the tendency to compartmentalize their memories, she could chew on different parts of the creature’s brains for a different taste each time.

She peered into the cage and saw that the creatures were crowded around one of their species. They quickly noticed her arrival and dashed towards the various corners of the cage. Xalla saw that the being they were surrounding was one of their kind that she had half eaten. She must have taken one out and forgotten about it after.

Xalla picked it up and saw that although it was still alive, the wound on its head had started to turn an awful shade of green, and was leaking a viscous fluid.

This one’s no good, Xalla thought, before tossing the still-squirming creature into the compost bin as well. She scanned the rest of her dorm and realized that it wasn’t exactly the cleanest it had been. Her work had made her more busy than ever, especially now that a new round of testing had begun, and her personal hygiene might have taken a turn for the worse. In fact, she took a look at herself and almost died of embarrassment seeing the state she was in.

Her frills were in disarray, some of the tips dulled and damaged, and she noticed that at least 3 of her Primary teeth were dulled. Her main tentacles were arranged in a rush, and they were practically a mess. Even her maw was starting to turn more pink than red.

Worst of all, she let the Arbiter meet her in such a condition! She wanted to scream, how could she let herself go so much? Sure there was no other Xollons around, so the smaller details wouldn’t have mattered, but she should have some basic pride in her self-maintenance! She regretted not taking her sister’s advice to see a dentist regularly now.

Xalla sighed again, not only did she look like a disaster, but she also had none of the food she had promised. She couldn’t exactly have him come over and present the Lord Arbiter with Shoggoths and energy drinks, all while looking like she never bothered with personal grooming!

Xalla had to make a trip back home to restock on food, and visit the dentist… and get her frills done, and maybe get an entire makeover while she was at it. Her pay as the Head of Security certainly made all of those things affordable now, so she had to treat herself right. She was just about to make a request for a short leave of absence when Q beat her to the punch and sent her a message first.

“Xalla,” his voice rang, “come see me at the office, I need your opinion about something.”