Unwilling Eldritch Horror of Fortune

It wasn’t long after parting ways with Xalla that the first Preview ticket expired, and I transformed back into my old body. On the way back, Noe informed me that I had made a lot of progress on my Soul Passive, and I was honestly pretty close to leveling up the thing by myself for once.

 

Primary Soul Title: Level 4 Xollon Idol

Progress to next level: 4210/5000

Progression requirements: Have 5000 individuals idolize you

 

I guess I had attracted a larger crowd during the date than I thought. But the joy of having made so much progress was stifled by how weak I felt after being in the full Xollon form for so long. It was so constricting having only two arms to move around or having such a limited field of view. I hope that this sensation of unease will go away soon... because I was afraid that I might like being a Xollon.

The feeling of absolute power was great, but I’m pretty sure my actions during the date with Xalla were questionable. Like how I... wait, what did I do with her? I remember visiting the Planes of Torment and going on some exhibits with Xalla in tow, and I even remember our conversations together. But the specifics were somehow missing. I knew that my actions were morally questionable at best, but like waking up from a dream, all the details were missing from my mind.

Was the Xollon form somehow influencing my thoughts even when I'm human? There's no way it would be healthy to go from a human's limited perception to that of a Xollon. That was concerning, but what could I do about it at the moment? Should I limit the use of my Soul Title even at the cost of my continued survival? No, that's not an option at all. With demons and monsters roaming around, I'd be an idiot to limit myself in any way. After all, I can't regret any decisions if I'm dead. I can only hope that I can control any changes before things go wrong.

Still, all those concerns can wait for later, it’s been a full day since everyone else was transferred to the Rest Area, and I should pop my head out and greet some of the people. At the very least I had to establish friendly relationships with the Kim siblings.

“Warning.” Noe’s voice chimed, “Detecting increased levels of mental pollutants in Host Watt due to rapid changes in Physiology. Unit Noe suggests that Host Watt take some time to rest the body and mind before venturing out, otherwise, irreparable changes will occur in the Host.”

I grimaced. I guess I hadn’t had any chance to rest and properly digest my situation so far, but it’s not like I could just take the next few days for some R&R. I had to make sure that the Regressor and his sister were on my side, and I had to do it fast. I already lost an entire day because of that date, and I wasn’t sure if I would have a better chance to warm up to them compared to now.

I didn't have the Regressor's knowledge of the future, so I could only make proactive plans because any screw-up on my end could result in a very bad ending. I needed to get into their good graces if I wanted to avoid whatever extinction event was heading my way.

Then there’s the Central side of things. Q and his gang expected me to act like an Arbiter, and I should make regular reports back, not to mention the added complication that came with the Sponsors. My schedule was fully booked and I couldn’t see how I could fix that. I mean, the end of everything was at stake!

Explain further, Noe. What kind of irreparable damage are we talking about?

"Currently, Host Watt is experiencing minimal levels of contamination, and Unit Noe has assisted Host Watt with containing the majority of the damage, ensuring that Host Watt's mental and physical health does not deviate too much from prior norms. However, if this trend continues, then Host Watt's psyche and body will experience changes that are unknown even to Unit Noe."

But I'm fine right now?

"Affirmative." Noe answered, "Current changes to Host Watt are negligible."

That’s fine then, Noe. I said to the system, I think I can handle some slight mental contamination. Thanks for the heads up though.

“You are most welcome.” It chimed, “But Host Watt should take better care of his health. Unit Noe will continue to alleviate as much of Host Watt’s burdens as possible.”

Not wanting to waste any more time, I stepped out of my private room, and into the Rest Area proper. There’s just no rest for the wicked. Making sure that I was fully human once more, I put away my bag and left my private dorm.

I wasn’t sure what I was expecting when I went out for the first time, but it certainly wasn’t being greeted by 5 gruff-looking men. They all turned at me when they saw me stepping out. In hindsight, I should have expected something like this to happen, since Raffiel all but gave everyone permission to do whatever they wanted, but between my date in Xolloid and my meeting with Rogue and Bob, I never expected that I would be on the receiving end of a mugging.

“Lookie here,” One of them – a smaller man that was trying way too hard to hide a receding hairline – said, “This one managed to hide in their little hole for a whole day.”

The group of men, clearly up to no good, approached me, cutting off my path.

Another one – honestly, their faces were so forgettable I won’t even bother giving them descriptions – added, “Let’s give out newest Aspirant a warm welcome, and let him know the rules of our little retreat.”

This time the leader of the bunch shoved his little goons aside, and practically shoved his face into mine. My Rookie Arbiter eyes saw that this individual was pretty strong, all things considered.

 

David Moore – Level 26 Brawler

 

The other goons had levels in the low twenties.

David grinned at me, trying his best to unnerve me, but the only thing unnerving was his horrible halitosis, “It’s good to see you finally poke your little head out, my friend. Hunger finally get to you?”

Now I was in a bit of a dilemma, not because I was in any way intimidated by David here, but I wasn’t sure what the best course of action would be. I was left with three choices: either fight back, try to run, or just accept the hazing.

With Noe’s help, fighting all five of them wouldn’t be an issue, but I recalled what happened to that poor zombie I met when I attacked with the system’s help. Having David and his friends literally explode would probably not win me any favours with the Regressor or Q, and since I had so little control over how Noe’s Luck abilities manifest, fighting was not an option. It’d feel great in the short term, seeing these idiots beaten up, but the consequences would be awful. An impulse decision, no matter how justified, would never be the correct choice in the long run.

Unfortunately, flight was also not an option, as I was fenced in on all sides. The only thing I could do was just allow them to extort me. I’ve seen situations like this a million times before all the craziness happened, there’s always going to be some bigger thugs that will prey on the weak, and at most they’ll steal some money. I wouldn’t be the first time I was robbed, or doing the robbing now that I thought about it, so I’ll just go with the flow. I was just about to allow such a thing to happen when David punched me full in the face.

HP: 247/254

Did he seriously just strike me?

“Speak up!” David said, spittle splattering everywhere, “I don’t like having to wait for some pretty boy to talk back to me.”

I stared wide-eyed at what just happened. I knew that I hadn’t turned on the Absolute Luck skill, so it wasn’t so much the punch landing that shocked me, but the fact that someone, some absolute nobody, had the audacity to attack me. I had survived encounters with monsters who could rip this universe apart and come out unscathed, and this was the person who got a hit in on me first? I was, for the first time since this whole fucking thing started, pissed off.

Another fist landed on me, this time rattling my skull. I relished the pain, even smiling as the next few blows landed.

HP: 231/254

“I said speak up!” He shouted, “Don’t you know it’s rude to just stand there mute?”

I was a goddamn Lord Arbiter, fake one or no, and I’ll show David here why he shouldn’t mess with me.

But not now.

“I’m sorry sir!” I said, falling on my knees, “I didn’t mean to stay silent! Please, don’t hit me again!”

I had almost allowed my anger to control me, but I clenched my teeth and buried my rage.

Just bear with it for now, and I'll get my payback soon.

David grinned, “So your tongue’s finally loosened up. But you have to apologize honestly for that mistake, right?”

“Of course!” I said again, bowing to him over and over again, “Please, just tell me what you want.”

“Well, since you managed to somehow survive the first Trial, you should have gotten some money, right?”

“It’s- it’s all yours!”

“Good! It’s always good to see a generous soul, there’s just so many nice things that I wanted to buy in the store.” David said, smile still plastered over his face, “I like talking to smart people, so give me 600 gold and I’ll pretend that nothing happened. Aren’t I so nice?”

“But, but sir,” I pleaded, “I don’t have that much. I barely managed to survive as is!”

He punched me again, this time in the stomach, “And did I mention that I hate talking with poor people?”

“Please, sir!”

He gave a fake shrug and said, “Well, I can be reasonable. Just hand me everything you have. Tell the system to transfer all your money over to me.”

Noe, I thought, send David here 467 gold. It’ll help pay for his funeral later.

“Acknowledged.”

David’s eyes scrolled over some message I couldn’t see, and he nodded to me.

“Not terrible, friend,” He continued, patting me on the back, “And I don’t have to tell you what would happen if I find out that you had more money on you, right?”

“No sir!” I groveled, “Never!”

“Notification. Congratulations, Host Watt, for gaining a new Title.” Noe interrupted.

Hey, I guess something good did come out of this situation! The universe might not be out to get me after all.

“The Trash Matrix has given the Host the Secondary Title of “Groveling Master”, does Host Watt wish to view the information of this title?”

Never-the-fuck-mind! The goddamn Trash Matrix just loves to hit me when I’m down.

No, I do not wish to view that shit title now, Noe. Can you delete that thing?

“Negative, Host Watt.” It continued, “Titles can not be deleted.”

Then show me later!

“Acknowledged." It chimed, "Equipping Title now.”

The second that weird title was put on, I saw a noticeable change in David and his goons. They looked almost euphoric when they saw me on the ground groveling for my life. They started to chuckle like idiots and were thoroughly amused at my display of cowardice.

“Good! Good! That’s the proper form for addressing the Great David the Destroyer! It seems like someone finally understands my greatness!” He laughed and gave me one final shove before gesturing for his goons to leave me alone, “Now that wasn’t so bad, if you’re alive by the end of the next trial, you can potentially join my gang and worship the ground I stand!”

"Yes sir!" I answered, "I shall do whatever you want, oh Great David the Destroyer!"

He laughed jovially again, "That's more like it! Yes, everyone should sing their praises to me! I deserve it!"

"Indeed, oh masterful David!"

"Alright lads, I think we need to inform the rest of this cohort the importance of my status! And you!" He pointed to me again, "Go around this facility and sing my praises. If you do a good job, I might even allow you to be the head of my future slave army!"

He turned back and kicked me one last time, “I’ll be seeing you again later! Remember to do your job properly!”

David's personality took a strange turn after getting that title. Out of curiosity, I had to check out the title the Trash Matrix gave me.

 

Secondary Title: Groveling Master (F rank)

Description: Your ability to cower before everyone else has reached the level of a sublime art form. Your lowly existence serves only to elevate the status of your betters. Congratulations on finding a useful purpose for your useless life!

Class Passive: Individuals who perceive you groveling, begging for your life, or otherwise behaving miserably, will cause those individuals to have an extremely elevated sense of pride and self-worth.

Class Active: N/A

 

Yup, it’s as crap as I thought, but at least this one had some niche uses. I gritted my teeth and put the stats page away.

I was still on my knees and only got up when David and his gang were out of sight. I wiped the blood off my lips and slowly made my way back to my dorm. I’ve had it with being on the back foot for this entire time. I have spent way too much time ensuring that I could survive in this hellhole to allow myself to be bullied by some goddamn random humans. I wasn’t stupid enough to fight back against David out in the open, but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t retaliate.

I grinned, tasting a little iron in my mouth; I was about to have David experience the fruits of my labour.

I made sure the door was closed and secure, and in my calmest voice, I called out.

“Malazel.” I said, “Come here now.”