Unwilling Eldritch Horror of Fortune

Even with all the weird supernatural things that I encountered so far, being teleported somewhere completely new was something else. I took a deep breath and surveyed my surroundings.

I appeared to be in an alleyway, it was dark out, and the heavy downpour obscured my sight. There was a red-bricked wall blocking my path to the south, and the only exit was illuminated by a flickering streetlamp. The musky smell of old garbage was permeating from a large dumpster nearby, and nothing else of note was around me.

Tentatively, I grabbed my spear and took slow steps towards the light. I didn’t make it two steps before I heard footsteps, and a new figure appeared at the end of the alleyway.

I couldn’t make out the individual from where I was standing, but the first thing I noticed was the smell. Even through the rain, the reek of rotten meat and excrement assaulted my nostrils. The thing walked closer, and I could make out the clear signs of advanced decay infecting every portion of the shambling zombie.

Yup, that was definitely a zombie. I thought I wouldn’t be so repulsed or scared, since they were everywhere in popular media, but the sight of one in person was something else. I felt my heart pump faster, and my palms were clammy with sweat. Still, one zombie - the slow kind apparently - shouldn’t be too hard to dispatch.

To be extra cautious though, I activated the Absolute Luck Skill and swung my spear at the zombie. Just then, a strange draft caused me to slip a little, and I extended my arms to try to keep balance. In the corner of my eye I saw my newly regained Luck Charges go down steeply.

The little tumble caused my spear to stab deep into the chest of the zombie, and before I could regain my footing, a huge blast of energy expanded from the tip of my weapon. The shockwave was visibly pushing the rain aside, and just when it was about to reach me, it stopped.

No, it wasn’t just the shockwave that stopped, but it was everything around me. Everything in a small radius around me was frozen in time, even the raindrops were suspended in the air.

"Apologies for interrupting so early in the trial.” Raffiel’s voice said, before a flash of light engulfed the alleyway and his figure suddenly appeared, “I believe that you had said earlier that you wanted to blend in with the rest of the Aspirants…”

He looked visibly uncomfortable.

“And?” I said, keeping my voice chilly. I didn’t know what happened just now, but I sure as hell wouldn’t let him know that.

“It’s just…” he continued, “the humans here would not be able to cause a Core Resonance, and you would cause unnecessary disruptions in the trials if you continued to do so. I realize that demeaning yourself further to fit in with the lowly Humans would be abhorrent, but…”

“But was I not using the strengths and abilities of a normal Human just now?” I interrupted, hoping to keep him off balance, “So why would you say that my actions would disrupt the course of this Trial?”

He was sweating profusely right now, “No, of course the Lord Arbiter-”

“I said to call me Walter while we are here.” I sneered.

“I apologize again!” Raffiel bowed even lower than usual, “I mean to say that Aspirant Walter did not exceed the limits of humans in terms of physical strength and agility, but with the skill you’ve shown… I think it would be easier to show you.”

Raffiel conjured a small screen from his palm, and I saw several other individuals fighting with the zombies. Most of them were doing an admirable job fending off the undead, but there was a few that did better than the rest.

Notably, there were three Aspirants that I recognized. The large dude from earlier was barrelling through a crowd of zombies, crushing a few of them under his gauntlets and tossing aside the rest. The girl was moving faster than I could comprehend, leaving a trail of diced-up bodies in her wake.

However, none of those two could hold a candle to the Regressor. He was dispatching zombies left and right, and his movements seemed like he was dancing. Each strike, each stab, and movement felled an enemy, and I was mesmerized looking at his work.

"Wow…” I subconsciously said, awestruck by how amazing these people are.

Raffiel nodded, “Wow indeed, Walter. The ones I just showed you were the best fighters of this lot, and their abilities are barbaric and utterly worthless. That spear-wielding individual has some potential, but even that is hardly worth noting. I’m not sure how familiar you are with the Human species, but they were utterly useless in combat, as you can see.”

“Yes.” I composed myself, “I have to reassess the abilities of the humans here.”

I noticed that there was another zombie in the vicinity, and it was caught up in the frozen bubble. I walked up to it and realized that it wasn’t so scary now that it couldn’t move. I didn’t need the Absolute Luck Skill for what I was about to do now.

Holding the shaft of the spear with all my might, I swung it baseball bat style right at the zombie’s head. My swing struck home, and with an audible pop, the thing’s head exploded into a shower of gore. The flecks of brain and skull fragments froze just inches away from my face, and taking a step back, I smiled in triumph. That stat booster thing I drank earlier did wonders to my physique!

Raffiel looked at me in wonder as well, and I felt a little bit more pride. I guess even he underestimated my abilities before!

“Amazing!” he said, voice almost radiating awe, “I have never seen such an ineffective, useless, and unskilled attack in all my 600 000 years of existence!”

My face almost scrunched up immediately.

“You were somehow able to use the most ineffectual muscles in the body to make that swing! Why, if I didn’t see that earlier strike, I would have honestly thought that you have never picked up a weapon before, much less a spear!”

“It takes a lot of practice to do so.” I said, barely keeping the bitterness out of my voice.

“Practice?” Raffiel questioned, clearly not getting the sarcasm.

“Yes. Practice.” I replied sarcastically, “I had to spend eons mastering such a form.”

Crap! I accidentally allowed my anger to get the better of me and said some pretty useless things. I was about to correct myself but saw that Raffael was lost in thought, staring at me with an unfocused gaze.

Raffiel paused for a few more seconds before proceeding to laugh. All semblance of the once majestic angel was lost, and he was muttering something inaudible to himself.

Shit, did my disguise fail finally?

“Of course!” He shouted, and I prepared for the worst, “I was wondering why I couldn’t improve! I was too focused on form, on technique, that I was limiting myself. Yes, to become a true master is to forgo the constraints of technique and revert to the state of a true beginner!”

Ok… what just happened?

Raffiel took out a dark sword from somewhere, and with a laugh, he swung it towards the sky. The swing looked sloppy like he was doing so casually, but the huge torrent of energy erupted from the sword splitting the sky in two painted a different picture. Before it could do any more damage to the environment, the energy seemed to disappear in midair, and a familiar figure stood floating in the sky above.

Q hovered down and was giving Raffiel the most toxic look I’ve seen him use. He quickly gave me a polite nod, before turning his attention back onto the faux Angel.

“What are you doing Malazel! I sent you here to ensure that the Arbiter’s trial goes without issue, and the first thing you do is try to destroy my facility?”

“I’m sorry, sir!” He replied, finally realizing what he’s done for the first time, “The Lord Arbiter - I mean Aspirant Walter - was kind enough to correct my limited understanding of the art of battle, and I was able to make a significant advancement in my own ability thanks to his guidance.”

Q looked at me quizzically, and I nodded in response.

“Yes,” I said, putting my sage voice back on, “I noticed that the Archdemon Malazel had some potential, and I was able to point out the flaw holding him back. It would be too much to credit me with anything other than giving out a small pointer.”

“You do yourself too little credit!” Raffiel said, “I have been unable to pass the barrier of becoming a Grandmaster for over 10 000 years, and I was only able to do so thanks to your guidance. Please, allow me to pledge myself to you!”

Uh, yeah, I have no idea what kind of mental gymnastics Raffiel was undergoing to come to that conclusion, but I had no idea what it meant for someone to pledge themselves to me, nor did I want to find out.

I shook my head slowly, unsure how to properly reject the demon’s proposal. Thankfully, Q was able to do that for me.

“You really think someone of the Arbiter’s calibre would want a pledge from someone like you?” the admin said, half shouting, “The Arbiter has seen trillions of individuals like you, and you dare to insinuate that you are better than the ones he has rejected before?”

Raffiel visibly blanched and started to profusely apologize to me for overstepping his boundaries. Still having no idea what was going on, I just put on my best face of indifference and allowed the other two to come up with their own conclusions. Still, I wanted to leave a good impression on the fake Angel, if only to make my days in the trial easier.

“Although I cannot accept a pledge from you at this moment,” I started, “I might reconsider if you can show me that you deserve such an honour. I see potential in you, so do not squander this opportunity.”

Raffiel’s eyes started to burn from his conviction just then, “I will never do so! Please allow me to show you my potential in the future!”

Q shook his head, “Thank you, Lord Arbiter, for your continued help in my Site.”

He turned his focus back onto Raffiel, “And do your best in supporting the Arbiter in his experiments. I will not tolerate another transgression like this one again.”

With that, the both of them bid their farewells, and they disappeared. Time seemed to resume, and I was once again alone in the rain.