Unlimited Isekai and Other Unfortunate Magic

Dave found himself being quickly led through the orange-tinted, evening streets of Shandria.

Terri's arm remained firmly linked with his, as if she was worried he might vanish if she let go. Her Kitlix ended up sitting on his head, radiating warmth that helped him focus his scattering thoughts. The green-antlered healer's determined stride left little room for argument, and Dave couldn't help but feel flashes of gratitude and embarrassment at her insistence on helping him out.

Collaris had been right, there were good people in Shandria. He just didn’t think about them on the account of his brain melting from Vexirium and making him ridiculously paranoid.

As they walked, Terri glanced sideways at him. "So, Dave," she began, "Is everyone from Earth as prone to trouble as you seem to be?"

"I might be a special case. Most people on Earth don't end up in magical cities fighting void monsters and shadow princesses. Then again, the Dragon God-Emperor summoned millions of people from Earth to his domain… I just got lucky enough to be swept up from there by a very smelly wyvern and taken across the mountains.”

"Shadow princesses? Wyvern flight from another domain?" Terri's eyebrows shot up. "That really sounds like something out of one of Dumpich's tales."

"Trust me, I wish it was," Dave sighed. "It's been... a pretty messed up week.”

“Uh-huh, try me,” Terri smiled.

“Right,” Dave said. “Imagine a group of magical beings who think they're the rightful ruler of Shandria, all fighting each other while trying to manipulate everyone around them. It's like a soap opera, but with more shadow blades and attempted murder."

"Attempted murder?"

“Yeah,” Dave rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, "I've had a few close calls. Then… There was this one time I got collared by a singer who wanted me to be her personal assassin. That was... not great. You were there.”

“Stellaris?”

“Uh-huh,” he nodded.

“Why’d you let her collar you to begin with?” Terri pried. “Why didn’t you say anything? We could have helped you.”

Dave gave her a look.

“What?” She asked. “We’re not brawlers, but a Healer can absolutely dish out a lot of damage.”

“Really?” Dave asked.

“Green magic can kick ass too,” Terri huffed. “Leon carries powdered poisons in his pockets that can take out a pretty high level enemy. Personally, I can paralyze a pretty burly strongman with my lovely Tori.”

Terri’s Kitlix bobbled atop of Dave’s head when her name was mentioned.

“So why didn’t you ask us for help?” Terri demanded. “Why'd you pretend that you were dating? I knew that something was off about that damned elf!”

“Stellaris threatened me into compliance via a Quest,” Dave sighed.

“A Quest?” Terri blinked. “I’m pretty sure that only…”

“Only High Lords and Guilds give Quests?” Dave said. “Apparently, she could do that too. To be honest, I’m not entirely sure I should be telling you all this stuff. If you know too much, they could come after you too.”

“I ain’t scared of no shadow people,” Terri shot back with slightly less confidence than she showed.

“Oh?”

“Okay fine, I’m slightly concerned about assassins and whatnot,” she whispered. “But really… This is Shandria. If I didn’t have Tori…”

Dave looked at the Healer.

“When I came to study here and just bought Tori from the breeder… I had a few close calls,” she said with a shudder. “Thought that I would be fine shopping in the rougher parts of town to save money. Nope. Bad idea. Barely made it out with my dignity intact. Haven't trusted strangers since.”

“Seems like you trust me,” Dave said.

“On the account that Tori can knock your ass out faster than you can blink,” the girl said. “Plus, it’s like you’re… radiating trust. I feel safe with you. Is that weird?”

“Radiating trust?” Dave asked, considering that he had [46.3952] soul shards sitting in Charisma. Unlike Remicra, Terri didn't seem to be bothered by his Charisma.

“Yeah. Sort of like some of the Highborns do. But, you can’t be a Highborn, right? You’re Level Six and you’ve got no alignment whatsoever. Besides, ain’t never seen a Highborn wear cheap ass basic gray robes. They're ostentatious buggers.”

“Does everyone trust this number?” Dave waved his bracelet.

“I trust what Tori tells me about you,” Terri said.

“Oh? And what does Tori tell you?” He wondered.

“Tori tells me that you’re completely harmless and badly hurt.”

Dave couldn't help but sputter-chuckle at the irony of Terri's words. If only she knew about the maelstrom of souls swirling within him.

"What's so funny?" Terri asked.

"Oh, nothing," Dave replied. "Just thinking about how 'harmless' I've been lately. You know, accidentally flying on wyverns, accidentally conquering dungeons, accidentally defeating absurdly overpowered assassins, narrowly escaping princess enslavement."

Terri raised an eyebrow. "Those do sound pretty darn outlandish. Hrm. What's the craziest yet realistic thing that's happened to you since you arrived in Shandria?

“Trying to explain to a dragon blacksmith why I stole her stained glass window because I think it's my best friend from another world."

Terri stopped in her tracks. "You... what?"

"Yeah, not my finest moment," Dave admitted, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "In my defense, I was suffering from pretty bad… what do you call it, ummm, Vexirium at the time. And the window really does look like my friend."

“Your friend?”

“Saint Saria,” Dave said.

"I... I don't even know where to begin with that," Terri said, her steps faltering for a second.

“What?” Dave asked.

“Come on, stop pulling my hoof,” she said, expression returning to neutral. “How could Saint Saria be your friend? She died, like, two centuries ago when Xandria fell!”

“You know about her?” Dave asked, frowning at Terri’s words.

“Of course I know about her!” Terri stamped her leg into the pavement. “She is, like, the most well known healer from the end of the Lumir dynasty era. Before the whole Divine Shadow takeover. Did Dumpich put you up to this? Because I’m already, uhm… curious about you. You don’t need to pretend you’re best friends with a Saint that inspired me to apply to Healers Hall… just to impress me.”

“No,” Dave said. “I really know her. We were best friends back on Earth. She, like me, was summoned to Arx after she died.”

Terri let go of Dave’s elbow, squinting at him with an irate glare.

"Okay, mister 'best friends with a Saint of Healers'," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "If you really knew Saint Saria, tell me something about her that isn't in the history books."

Dave exhaled, caught off guard by the sudden interrogation. He racked his brain, trying to think of something that would convince Terri. Arriving at nothing, he decided to simply talk about Lari. "Well, uh... she had a cute singing voice. We went to Karaoke often with our other friends. Remember that song Stellaris sang at the pub? Lari used to sing it to me before her whole Saint thing on Arx."

Terri's eyebrows shot up. "Karaoke?"

"It's an Earth thing," Dave explained. "You sing along to popular songs in front of people, usually badly and after a few drinks."

"Uh-huh," Terri said, clearly not convinced. "And Saint Saria enjoyed getting drunk and singing terribly?"

"When you put it like that..." Dave sighed. "It does sound silly. But Lari was just a normal person before she came here. A paramedic. That's like... a Healer who rides around in metal carriages helping people who are hurt or sick. It was how she saved me when I almost died.”

Terri's expression softened slightly, curiosity winning out over disbelief. "A healer in a metal carriage?”

“She helped people in a world without magic,” Dave revealed.

“Without magic…” Terri muttered.

"You know," she began as they reached Healers Hall and went in through a white-wood side door which Terri opened by shoving her hand into an alcove with a Kitlix inside, "Saint Saria is famous not just for her healing abilities, but for the ideas she introduced to Xandria. Many of them weren't actually magical in terms of healing."

"What kind of ideas?"

“She emphasized the importance of cleanliness in healing. She insisted that healers wash their hands thoroughly before treating patients, which wasn't common practice back then. She also introduced the concept of quarantine for infectious diseases."

Dave's eyes widened. "What else?"

"She advocated for better nutrition as a preventative measure against illness," Terri continued. "She encouraged people to eat a variety of fruits and vegetables. And she was a strong proponent of exercise for maintaining health. She also sketched out how viruses and bacteria looked in her journals and described how each damaged or even helped the body. Lots of stuff like that. I own… one of her journals.”

“Those all sound like things Lari would have known from her work on Earth,” Dave agreed.

The pair ascended up the white stairwell to the Kitlix Chapel.

“Wait,” Terri froze.

“What?” Dave asked.

“What’s your full name? Like your full Earth-birth name?”

“David Horovits Walter,” Dave said.

“By her Shadow,” Terri choked, her face pale.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

“T-the f-first p-page of her journal,” the elkgirl stammered. “It… it said… ‘Dedicated to David Horovits Walter. Wherever you are, I wish that we would meet again in Xandria.’”