Universe Falls (Gravity Falls x Steven Universe)

Summary:

As Steven discovers the power to grow sentient watermelons, Gideon gets his hands on a size-chaning flashlight, plotting to use it to bring the Mystery Kids, Stan, and the Crystal Gems down to size.

In the dense silence of a dimly lit room, small hands flipped through the weathered pages of a book filled cover to cover with secrets. Gideon fervently, furiously scanned the many mysterious entries contained in journal #2, on the hunt for one thing and one thing alone: 

Revenge.

"Zombie attack? Never works, they don't take orders. Blood rain? Ew, that'd mess up my suit. Demon caterpillars? Drat!" Frustrated, he slammed the journal shut. "There must be a perfect way to exact my vengeance on the Pines family and those darn Crystal Gems! It's not enough to harm 'em. I need to take somethin' from them. Something that'll do the Pines in… Something that'll destroy the Crystal Gems! Something that'll give me ultimate power…"

He pondered the problem for a moment. Whatever he was going to do, it had to be huge , sweeping to outdo take each and every one of his many foes. To get back at them for humiliating him. And most of all, to make sure none of them would ever stand in his way ever again. 

And as he stole a glance at the popsicle stick model he'd made of the Mystery Shack, Gideon came up with a way to do exactly that. 

"Of course!" he grinned as he held up the scale model of what he hoped would soon belong to him. "It's perfect …"

Business was slow at the Mystery Shack, which left the Pines with little to do other than sit around the T.V., catching up on the latest reruns of Ducktective . The boring calm of the morning was soon broken, however, when the doorbell suddenly rang. 

"Whelp, looks like it's showtime," Stan stretched as he got up from his recliner. He put on his usual charming grin as he headed over to greet what he thought was just another prospective customer. "Welcome to a world of mystery!" 

"Stan Pines?" the suited man at the door asked. 

"The tax collector! You found me!" Stan gasped, alarmed. Without warning, he threw a smoke bomb down as a distraction before rushing back into the den. Dipper and Mabel watched, confused, as Stan frantically ripped a portrait off the wall to retrieve the large stash of cash hidden away behind it. "They'll never catch me–or my money–alive! I won't allow it!" 

"Mr. Pines," the businessman entered the den, cutting Stan's escape attempt off. "I'm from the Winninghouse Coupon Savers contest and YOU are our biiiiiiig winner!"

In an instant, Stan's panic was replaced with a huge smile, especially when the massive check for ten million dollars was brought in alongside a shower of confetti and balloons. "At last! My one and only dream, which was to possess money, has come true!"

"We're rich!" Dipper grinned, just as excited. "I'm gonna buy a butler!"

"I'm gonna buy a talking horse!" Mabel eagerly added. 

"Just sign here for the money," the businessman handed a clipboard over to Stan.

"You bet!" The very second he finished signing, however, none other than Gideon Gleeful jumped through the giant check, more than ready to get the jump on his enemies.

"Ha! Stanford, you fool! You just signed the Mystery Shack over to lil ol' me!" Gideon reveled in the frightened shock over the twins' faces as he broke into a celebratory jig. Stan, however, was nowhere near as concerned. 

"Uh, you might wanna take another look there," he nodded back down at the clipboard. 

Confused, Gideon looked at where Stan had "signed", reading it aloud. "The shack is hereby signed over to… suck a lemon, little man ?!"

Over Stan's heavy laughter and Dipper and Mabel's relieved sighs, Gideon let out a furious shout as he tore the contract to shreds. "How dare you! I am not a threat to be taken lightly!" He paused, briefly, to reach up for the businessman's aid. "C'mere, hon, I need your arms." The man lifted him up to Stan's level as he issued another vicious threat. One that Stan didn't take seriously in the slightest. "I'll get you Stanford Pines! I'll get you all!"

Gideon fixed the entire family with a hateful glare as he let the businessman carry him out. Once outside, he bitterly dismissed his cronies before he began heading home to plot his next scheme, stewing in unbridled anger all the while. 

"Those fools won't be laughing when I finally do steal that shack away from 'em," he muttered to himself. His already simmering fury only burned even hotter when he spotted the group heading down the path just ahead of him. A group he despised every bit as much as the Pines. "Speakin' of fools…"

Gideon was practically shaking with rage as he watched Steven and the Crystal Gems walk back from town. The bright smiles on each of their faces soon faded when they noticed who was standing just a bit further on the path ahead. "Oh, um, hi, Gideon," Steven greeted him with an awkward wave. "H-how have you been since-"

"Since you stole both Mabel and my Levitation Charm from me?" Gideon finished, fixing him with a cold glare.

"I think you mean the Levitation Charm you stole from us," Pearl corrected. "We may not know how you got your hands on such a powerful treasure, but rest assured, you'll never see it again."

"As if I even need that silly ol' thing!" Gideon hotly shot back. "As soon as I get my hands on another one of your precious artifacts, it'll be all over for the four of ya, I swear it!" 

"You're much too young to swear," Garnet said. 

"Ha! Nice one, G!" Amethyst chuckled as she flashed a smirk Gideon's way. "Look, dude, we get that you think you're all 'cool' or whatever for giving us a little trouble like, one time, but without that levitation thingy, you're, uh… you know… a loser."

"Amethyst, that's not nice," Steven shook his head. He managed a small, yet sincere smile as he turned back to Gideon, kindly extending a hand out to him. "Gideon, I know you don't really like us all that much, but I feel kind of bad about everything that happened a few weeks ago. I'm sorry that we had to stop your evil plans. But… maybe we could put all that behind us and start over, as friends?"

Gideon scoffed, scarcely able to believe what he was hearing. He swiftly slapped Steven's hand away, appalled and angrier than ever before. "Friends? Friends ?! You think I'd ever be friends with the no-account scoundrel who stole my sweet Mabel away from me?!"

"But I didn't-"

"Listen here and listen well, Steven Universe!" Gideon continued darkly, ominously. "I'll make you pay! I'll make all four of you pay! Ya'll will deeply regret ever mocking Gideon Gleeful, ya hear?! I'll destroy you and those bothersome Pines alike! I'll ruin everything you hold dear! I'll-"

"Alright, that's enough," Garnet cut him off by abruptly picking him up. Despite his struggling and ongoing threats, she all but ignored him as she set him back down on the path past them so her team could continue on their way. 

 "Yeesh," Amethyst laughed as Gideon continued shouting after them. "That kid's a mess . He was so mad I thought his poofy hair was gonna explode!"

"Honestly, I can't remember the last time I've heard someone throw out so many hollow threats at us," Pearl said, smirking. 

"It was annoying," Garnet said flatly. 

"So… you guys don't think he was being serious?" Steven frowned, concerned. 

 "Seriously, Steven?" Amethyst scoffed. "What's Gideon gonna do? Sing one of his goofy little songs at us until we surrender? …You know what, that actually would be torture. Too bad he's too dumb to think of it!" 

She broke down laughing again, with Pearl chuckling along as Garnet grinned, amused. Steven, however, didn't join them. Instead, he spared a worried glance back in Gideon's direction, unable to shake the worried remorse weighing on his shoulders. True, Gideon had tried to destroy them all in the past. But that didn't mean he didn't deserve a second chance; as far as Steven was concerned, everyone did. So why then was Gideon so adamant against taking that second chance? Why wouldn't he even consider meeting them halfway for the sake of peace? 

How could someone hold onto their hatred to the point that it hurt them far more than it hurt anyone else?

Despite Gideon's earlier intrusion, the Mystery Shack quickly fell back into a lazy, customerless kind of calm. As frustrated as Stan was by the lack of business, he still allowed Greg and Steven to stop by to keep the twins entertained as he worked on his newest attraction. And, according to Greg, he'd come with a surprise. 

"You kids will love this," he grinned as he swung the doors of his van wide open. "Ta da! Watermelons for everyone!" 

Steven, Dipper, and Mabel shared an excited cheer over such a delicious summertime treat. Even Stan stopped short as he passed by, carrying a mirror under his arm. "Wow, Greg," he said, impressed. "That's a nice haul you've got there. What, did ya smuggle them out of Mexico or something?" 

"Um… no," Greg shook his head. "I just bought them from a roadside fruit stand."

"Eh, in that case, I'll pass," Stan turned his nose up. "Watermelons aren't as good unless they're brought over the border illegally. It's a proven fact."

"Proven… how, exactly?" Dipper asked, exchanging a confused glance with Steven and Mabel. 

"Er, ok, then…" Greg frowned as Stan headed back inside. "More for the rest of us, I guess. Eat up, everyone!"

"All right, dudes!" Soos ran over, ditching the gutter he'd been cleaning out in favor of something much more enticing. "Watermelon party!" He grabbed one of the watermelons, easily cracking it open for the kids to share. And, once everyone had a slice to snack on, it wasn't long before an unofficial seed-spitting contest was underway. 

"Check this out, kids," Greg grinned before taking a big bite. He spit two seeds out as he reclined back in his chair, letting them squarely land on his closed eyelids. "Heh? Heh? Betcha can't top that."

"I bet I can!" Steven exclaimed. He took aim at the empty soda can sitting on the far edge of the porch before knocking it clean off its perch with a single seed. "Ha! Beat that!"

"Whoa! Nice one, Steven," Dipper said, grinning.

"That was impressive, my son," Greg sent Steven a cryptic look. "But the name of the game ain't distance nor accuracy."

"It ain't?"

"No, Steven. This challenge is all about who can spit seeds the coolest ."

"Oh! Oh! I wanna try!" Mabel volunteered. After taking in a deep breath, she launched a seed straight up into the air, grinning widely as it landed right on top of her intended target: Dipper's hat.

"Hey! Mabel!" he protested, already reaching to get the seed off.

"Pretty good, hambone," Soos said as he finished munching on his slice. "But I think I can do you one better." Standing up from his seat, he sat his empty watermelon rind down behind him before bending over. The others all watched as he spit three seeds out in a row, all of which slid up through the rind and flung over his head to land squarely back in his hand. "Beat that , dudes."

Amazed, everyone applauded Soos' show of skill and luck. Even so, Steven was ready to try again. "That was cool… but was it this cool?!" He rushed to take in several quite bites of watermelon in, before taking on a daring sort of stance. "Hurricane… spit… spiiiin!" he shouted, his mouth full of seeds. They all went flying as he spun around, landing on everything in sight, including Stan as he stepped out onto the porch. "Ha! My hurricane spin is unbeatable!" Steven's triumphant grin quickly faded, however, when he spotted the annoyed look Stan was sending his way. "Oh… um… Sorry, Mr. Pines!"

"Honestly, I should have expected to come outside to find something like this going on," he deadpanned, wiping seeds off of his face and suit. "Greg, what have I told you about letting your kid spit seeds all over my porch?"

"I… Mr. Pines, you never told me anything about that."

"Well, write this down for future reference: I don't like it," Stan said as he picked the last of the seeds off his shoulder. 

"Heh, I'll keep that in mind," Greg let out a bashful chuckle. 

"And if you're done playing around out here, could you maybe get in here and help me haul these mirrors around like you said you would?"

"Oh, right!" Greg got up from his chair to head for the door. "Guess this will be a throwback to when I used to work here, huh, Mr. Pines?"

"Sure," Stan stoically shrugged. "Soos, clean this mess up for me, would ya?"

"You got it, Mr. Pines," Soos saluted his boss as the pair went inside. "Yo, Mabel? Can you pass me that dustpan on that shelf up there?"

"I got it," Dipper volunteered instead, already closer to it. 

"Thanks, but Mabel's taller," Soos nodded up to the high shelf.

"What?" Dipper asked, taken aback. "No, she's not. We're the same height. We always have been."

"Mm… I don't think so…" Steven shook his head as he looked between the twins.

"You might wanna check again, dude," Soos agreed. He pulled out his tape measurer as Dipper and Mabel stood back to back so he could properly check. Steven stood apace from them so he could confirm as the twins were measured, taking care to be as accurate as possible before he announced his conclusion. 

"It's true! Mabel's taller by exactly one millimeter!"

"What?!" Dipper exclaimed, surprised. 

"Whoa, don't you see what's happening, Dipper?" Mabel asked with a growing grin. "This millimeter is just the beginning. I'm evolving into the superior sibling! Bigger! Stronger!"

"Like some sort of alpha-twin!" Soos added.

"Yeah! Alpha-twin! Alpha-twin!" Mabel cheered.

"Come on, guys," Dipper rolled his eyes. "Nobody even uses millimeters. It only makes you taller than me in Canada."

"Wait, that's how that works?" Steven asked, confused.

"You know, Dipper, I've always wanted a little brother," Mabel teasingly smirked. "Who knew I already had one?! Ha!"

"Cut it out, Mabel," Dipper scowled, annoyed. "It's not that big a deal."

"No, I guess it's not… It must be a little deal instead!" Mabel let out a laugh despite her brother's growing frustration. 

"Aw, don't feel bad, Dipper," Steven placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Heck, I'm even shorter than both of you guys, but only by a tiny bit."

"Ha! Tiny! Another short joke!" Mabel cut in. "Nice one, Steven!"

"I overheard the sound of mockery," Stan poked his head out of the door. "Where is it? Show me the object of ridicule!"

"I'm taller than Dipper!" Mabel proudly proclaimed.

"By one millimeter," Dipper quickly, defensively added. 

"Hey, hey! Don't get short with your sister!" Stan joked, unable to contain his laughter.

"Now Grunkle Stan, I hope you don't think little of him," Mabel remarked just as playfully.

"Ha! Yeah! And… and, uh… he's short!"

Stan and Mabel broke down laughing, not noticing Dipper cross his arms and glare away from them. Soos and Steven exchanged a frown when they saw this, neither of them finding too much to laugh about in all of this. 

"Come on, you guys, that's mean and you know it," Steven admonished.

"Yeah, maybe you dudes should lay off a teeny bit," Soos agreed sympathetically.

"Ha! Teeny! Now Soos is on it!" Stan exclaimed, slapping his knee.

"N-no, I didn't mean that," Soos quickly shook his head. 

Even so, by now, Dipper had heard more than enough. He didn't bother saying so much as a single word as he stormed off, refusing to let himself be humiliated any longer than he already had. Steven briefly attempted to follow, before stopping short when he heard Stan and Mabel still laughing behind him. 

"Don't you guys think you were being a little—I mean, sort of hard on Dipper?" he asked. "So what if he's a little shorter than you, Mabel? That's not worth making him feel so bad about it, is it?"

"Steven, you wouldn't get it," Mabel sighed. "Dipper always has the advantage over me in everything. Brains, grades, basically every board game that exists… But now I've finally found something I'm beating him in! And it feels great!"

"Yeah but… don't you think you went a bit too far with it?" Steven asked, frowning.

"Maybe…" Mabel rubbed her arm. Still, it didn't take her long to bounce back from it as she shot Stan a knowing smirk. "But Dipper will forget about it. He's got a… 3, 2, 1…"

"SHORT-TERM MEMORY!" They jeered together, all but ignoring the disapproving looks Soos and Steven sent their way. Even from the far side of the shack, Dipper could still hear them, still making fun of him for something he knew he couldn't change. 

Or maybe… he could . 

His train of thought, however new it might have been, was soon broken however. A sharp crash caught him off guard, one that came just shy of a watermelon splatting to the ground only a few feet away, only narrowly missing him. As startling as that was, it didn't take long for Dipper to spot the culprit behind it. 

"Um… Amethyst, what are you doing?" Dipper asked as he watched her finish tying the end of her whip around a watermelon.

Amethyst flashed a wry smirk his way as she backed away from the prize she'd snagged from the back of Greg's van when no one was looking. "Just trying something out," she said with a daring smirk. Without warning, she cracked her whip, letting the watermelon fly high into the air. Amethyst followed that up with a high, spinning leap as she met the watermelon in the air before brutally kicking it skyward. She landed, grinning as the fruit disappeared somewhere into the distant atmosphere above. "Cool…"

"What was the point of that?" Dipper asked, searching the sky for the missing watermelon. 

"I made a bet with Pearl a while back that I could turn anything into a weapon," Amethyst explained. "Guess I can check watermelons off as a yes. It's kinda crazy though; those things have pretty good reach."

"Speaking of reach…" Dipper began. He knew he would have likely been better off asking Garnet or Pearl, but he'd take what he could get, he supposed. "I was just randomly wondering if there was any, oh, I don't know, magical Gem thing that could make someone… taller?"

"What, you mean like this?" Amethyst shapeshifted her legs to raise herself two feet higher into the air. 

"Well, yeah," Dipper said, frowning. "But I can't really do… that."

"Pfft, what do you wanna be tall for anyway?" Amethyst scoffed as she returned to her original height. "Tall people are boring , like Pearl. Everyone knows that the shorty squad is where it's at!"

"Apparently it's not," Dipper crossed his arms. "Especially since being only a millimeter too short makes you a total laughing stock."

"A millimeter? That's what you're being such a sad sack about?" Amethyst laughed. "Then clearly you've got other things to worry about than being too short."

"Can you just tell me how I can get taller?" Dipper asked, exasperated.

"Fine, if it'll get you to stop whining," Amethyst rolled her eyes. "But you can't tell Pearl or Garnet that I let you know about this. They'll think I'm being 'irresponsible' or whatever." 

She smirked as she slid an arm over his shoulder, lowering her voice against any prying ears. "So listen up. Way deep in the woods there's a whole bunch of these crystal things. According to Pearl, they're leftovers from some giant magical Gem weapon that was broken super long ago. But anyway, these things can make stuff grow or shrink whenever the light hits them. Pretty cool, huh?"

"That is cool!" Dipper smiled, amazed. "In fact, it almost sounds too good to be true… This isn't just you trying to prank me, is it?" 

"Dude, if I wanted to prank you I would have told you that you can grow just by standing in the sun like a plant," Amethyst deadpanned. "But now that you mention it, if you do get one of those crystals, I'd love to borrow it sometimes. I could pull some totally awesome pranks with that!"

"I'll… keep that in mind…" Dipper said as he prepared to head off into the woods. "Thanks for the tip, Amethyst!"

"Sure thing, dude!" She smiled, satisfied, as she watched him go, not even noticing as the watermelon finally landed (and splattered) on the ground behind her. "Yeah, there's no way this could turn out badly."

Amethyst's "directions", if they could even be called that, weren't much to go off of, but fortunately, Dipper found he didn't have to. The journal also made mention of these "size changing crystals", complete with a map on where in the woods they could be found. And, after about only an hour or two of searching the forest, Dipper found the exact spot it was pointing him to. 

Sure enough, countless colorful crystals were clustered throughout the secluded clearing, ranging in size from the massive to the miniscule. The flora and fauna in the area also seemed to follow that trend, if the bizarrely tiny herd of deer gathered under an unnaturally oversized mushroom were any indication. 

That alone would have been proof enough for Dipper that these crystals were the real deal, but he soon got enough more. A passing butterfly happened to fly through a ray of light cast by one of the larger crystals, instantly growing to the size of a large bird. Just as quickly, it was shrunk back down to normal upon fluttering through another one of the crystals' rays. Even more evidence that this peculiar Gem tech, whatever it might have once been used for, was every bit as magical as all the rest. 

With that in mind, Dipper made sure to take caution as he chipped one of the smaller crystals off of the much larger mass. Wanting some sort of control over its potentially risky power, he pulled a flashlight out of his backpack and attached the crystal in such a way that its beam would hit it directly. He put this new tool to the test, first using it to shrink a nearby pinecone to the size of a seed before flipping the crystal over to scale it up until it stood even taller than the surrounding trees. 

"O-okay, that might be a bit too big," Dipper frowned, nervously backing away from the towering pinecone."Still, this is perfect!" He quickly perked back up into a smile as he looked down at the incredible, powerful tool at his disposal. "Alpha-twin, here I come."

Of all of the reasons the Gems could have expected for Steven to call them down to the Mystery Shack, this hadn't been one of them. 

Within the span of only a few hours, the shack's yard had become a full-on watermelon patch. The fully-grown fruit spanned in almost every direction, and while that would have been a baffling sight on its own, the exact shape each of the watermelons had grown in was somehow even stranger. 

Steven was the first to truly notice it as he lifted one of the fruits up to get a better look. "Holy watermelon!" he gasped, holding it up so the Gems, Mabel, and Soos could all see. "Is this… Can it be…? They're me ! They're all me!"

"Whoa, let me see!" Mabel hurried over. She looked between Steven and his watermelon double, shocked to find just how alarmingly identical they actually were. "Wow! You're right! Look at these guys—they're so adorable!"

"Looks like you have a twin now too, dude," Soos said to Steven. "Only you have like… a ton of them. And they're all watermelons."

"I know!" Steven grinned even brighter as the Gems approached. "You guys, look! The watermelons all look like me! They must have grown from all the seeds I spit out earlier. Isn't it neat?"

"Hm…" Garnet took the watermelon from Steven to inspect it properly. "This is really impressive."

"I suppose…" Pearl apprehensively agreed. "Your mother did have the power to grow sentient plant life in a short amount of time to act as her defenders…"

"But Rose's plants moved and stuff," Amethyst picked up a smaller watermelon. "These guys don't do anything."

"Amethyst, be careful!" Steven cautioned as he took the tiny melon. It was only about half the size of all of the rest, the runt of the patch, by all accounts. "Aw… This one's just a baby! So precious…"

"You should call him Baby Melon!" Mabel suggested.

"Dude, that name is super clever! How'd you come up with it?" Soos asked, awestruck. 

By now, Dipper had returned from his trip into the woods, only to stop short upon spotting all of the oddly-shaped melons. As confused as he was, he was grateful for the distraction; it allowed him to tuck the size-changing light away into his backpack before Mabel could spot it. "Uh… what's going on?" he asked, carefully stepping in the spaces between the watermelons. 

"Dipper, check it out!" Steven excitedly exclaimed. "I grew a whole bunch of watermelons that look just like me!"

"…Uh, good job?" Dipper gave him an awkward smile and a thumbs up. He narrowly held back a wince when he looked down to find that the watermelons really did look just like Steven, almost unnervingly so. 

"Oh come on, Dipper, you should be more excited about this," Mabel smirked as she carried Baby Melon over and sat it down beside her brother. "We finally found something shorter than you!"

As much as Dipper didn't appreciate his sister's teasing, he didn't let it get under his skin. Not this time, not when he knew there was something sitting in his backpack that would change everything. "Keep laughing it up, Mabel," he said, carefully maneuvering around the watermelons to head inside. "Who knows? I might just gain a millimeter or two someday soon."

"Ha! That'll be the day!" Mabel called out after him. As Dipper headed in, Stan headed out with Greg not too far behind him. Only for both of them to stop dead in their tracks as soon as they saw exactly what awaited them in the yard. 

"What the heck happened out here?!" Stan only barely managed to not crush any of the watermelons as he walked through them. "Which one of you yahoos planted a watermelon field out here without asking me, or at least paying me, first?"

"Um… that was me, Mr. Pines," Steven guiltily raised his hand. "All the seeds I spit out earlier sorta grew into… this. But you gotta admit: they are all pretty handsome, aren't they?"

"Just charming," Stan deadpanned, scowling as he turned to his handiman. "Soos, I thought I told you to clean up all the seeds."

"Oh, yeah… Sorry, Mr. Pines!" Soos rubbed the back of his neck. "I kinda got distracted when you and Mabel were making fun of Dipper earlier."

"Ugh… This is really weird…" Greg frowned as he accidentally stepped on one of the watermelons, bothered by its close resemblance to his son. "What are we gonna do with all of them?"

Steven gasped, a sudden idea striking him as he stole another glance over at Baby Melon. "We could give them away! I'm sure everyone would love to have their very own Watermelon Steven!"

"Hey, hey, hey!" Stan quickly, sharply cut in. "Why on earth would we just give these puppies away?"

"Well, do you have a better idea in mind?" Pearl asked.

 "'Course I do! I'm—I mean, we're gonna sell them! Right here at the Mystery Shack!" Stan grinned as placed a hand on Steven's shoulder. "They'll be our newest hot seller. For the low price of five—no ten—no twenty dollars a pop, anyone can take home their own Human-Shaped Watermelon of Mystery!"

"Oh, that is a better idea!" Steven exclaimed, stars in his eyes.

"Glad you like it, kid, 'cause you're gonna be the one out here selling 'em," Stan crossed his arms. "Everyone around here generally 'trusts' you, so I figure you'll make it an easy sell. Plus, it's just good branding when you sell something that looks just like you. How else do you think I'm able to push so many Mr. Mystery bobbleheads in the gift shop? Folks can't get enough of this handsome face!"

"Huh, and here I thought people bought those things 'cause they were so freaky looking," Amethyst snickered, especially when Stan fixed her with an annoyed glare. 

"Don't worry, Mr. Pines! I won't let you down!" Steven saluted. "By the time I'm done, everyone in Gravity Falls will have a Watermelon Steven to love and cherish! And eat, I guess, if they really wanted to."

"Now hold on just a minute, Steven," Pearl spoke up, frowning. "Are you sure this is such a good idea? These are magical watermelons after all; just selling them to the regular people of Gravity Falls doesn't sound like a very good-"

"Excuse me? Did these watermelons spring up in your yard?" Stan asked, raising an eyebrow.

"W-well, no… but-"

"Then I don't think you have any say over what happens to 'em," Stan smirked as he began to lead Steven off so they could set up a table and start selling. "Now come on, kid. I—I mean, we have a fortune to make!"

"There." Steven smiled as he finished positioning all of the watermelons around the table Stan was lending him. "That's a mighty fine looking table, right, Baby Melon?"

Of course, Baby Melon stayed as still and silent as ever from his spot on the edge of the table. Still, Steven fondly patted his head as he took a seat and officially opened for business. In lieu of any actual customers, however, his first visitor turned out to be Mabel instead. 

"Hiya, Steven!" she cheerfully greeted as she skipped up to the table. "How's it going? Sold any of these little cuties yet?"

"Not yet," Steven shook his head. "Would you like to be my first customer, Mabel? I'm sure Mr. Pines will let me give you some kind of dis-"

"No discounts!" Stan shouted from inside the shack. "No exceptions!"

"Boo!" Mabel yelled back. "That's not fair, Grunkle Stan! I really want one!"

"It's called capitalism, pumpkin! Get used to it!"

Mabel groaned as she leaned against the table, not even noticing Dipper come outside until he walked up to her and Steven. "Hey, guys," he greeted, smirking confidently. "Notice anything… different about me?"

The two of them stared at him, confused, for a moment, until Steven let out a surprised gasp. "Wait a second… Dipper! You've grown an extra millimeter!"

"What?!" Mabel exclaimed, shocked. Immediately, she hurried to stand back to back with her brother, using her hand to check and see if it was true. And sure enough, much to her dismay, it was . Some way or another, they were now exactly the same exact height.

"What can I say, sis?" Dipper shrugged. After how much she'd enjoyed getting a rise out of him earlier, he made no effort to hide just how much he was enjoying doing the same to her now. "Growth spurt."

"Yeah, well mine happened first," Mabel countered. "And I'm gonna be taller in the end anyway. It's science, Dipper."

"What? But we're the same height now."

That hardly seemed to matter to Mabel as she shrugged just shy of launching into another round of: "Alpha-twin! Alpha-twin!"

"Oh yeah?" Dipper challenged. "Something tells me that I've got another growth spurt coming on right now…"

With that, he turned to head back inside, leaving his sister behind to wonder what he might have meant. And to wonder how he could have grown an entire millimeter so suddenly, so fast .

"This is weird…" she said, deeply suspicious. "I'm gonna go see what he's up to. Good luck selling your watermelons, Steven!"

"Thanks!" Steven called after her as she headed inside. "And uh… good luck to you too?"

"Steven Universe!" His attention was soon drawn away by Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland, who had stopped by to inspect his makeshift stand. 

"Oh, hi, officers!" Steven brightly greeted the pair. "Would you like to buy one of my Watermelon Stevens?"

"Would we?!" Durland asked, excited. He quickly reigned himself in, however, when his partner shook his head. 

"What's goin' on here, kid?" the sheriff asked, hands on his hips. "You got a permit for this setup?"

"Um… I don't have one…" Steven nervously began. "But Mr. Pines is letting me sell them here, so I'm sure he does! Don't you, Mr. Pines?" His smile fell when he was met with no response from inside the shack. "Uh… Mr. Pines?!" Upon a second failed attempt, Steven quickly came up with another plan on the fly, one that he hoped could get him out of this tight spot. "Um… Hey! How about I give you guys one on the house?"

"Mm… I don't know…" Blubs eyed the watermelons critically. "They're kinda weird lookin'…"

"Aw, Blub, look!" Durland pleadingly held one of the Watermelon Stevens up. "It's got lil' arms and legs! Can we keep it? Pretty please?"

"Oh… You know I can't resist that face!" Blub's resolve crumbled the second his partner resorted to begging. "Alright, kid. You got yourself a deal. We'll go ahead and accept your bribe."

"Yes!" Steven and Durland both exclaimed, relieved. The cops carried their Watermelon Steven off, swinging it between them as if it were a child while Steven waved them off. Even if he hadn't really "sold" it, he was still happy to see one of the melons go to a good home. Hopefully, the first of many as even more customers began to pass by.

"Hi, Sadie!" he called her over as soon as he spotted her. 

"Hi, Steven," Sadie smiled as she stepped up to the table. "What's all this about?"

"Just a little side project that I got going on."

"Oh really?" Sadie chuckled. "That's great. How'd you get such handsome watermelons?"

"Let's just say there's a little Steven in every one of them," Steven said with a mysterious smirk.

"Great sales pitch, dude," Sadie said, amused, as she reached into her purse. "So, how much for one?"

"How much?" Steven stopped short. "Oh man… What did Mr. Pines say again? They're supposed to be… uh… I don't remember!"

"Come on, I insist," Sadie said. "I love supporting local businesses."

"Whoa!" The conversation was suddenly interrupted as Ronaldo happened to pass by, glancing up from his phone as he caught sight of the strange watermelons. "What's going on here?!"

"Hey, Ronaldo-" Steven began, though he paused when Ronaldo began snapping photo after photo of his table.

"Don't mind me, just doing some liveblogging about your weird watermelons," Ronaldo said as he began typing away at his latest post.

"Liveblogging?" Steven raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah! For Keep Gravity Falls Weird!" he exclaimed, reading his blog post aloud as he typed it. "Check… out… these… weird… watermelon guys… down by… the… Mystery… Shack… it's… really… weird…"

"Steven, you shouldn't keep your customers waiting like this," Sadie cut in as she pulled a dollar out of her purse. "I'll just give you five bucks and take one, ok?"

"Sadie, wait!" Steven exclaimed as she left him the money and took one. Sure, five dollars was something , but he knew it wasn't anywhere near as much as Stan had told him to sell them for. Not that it mattered much to Ronaldo as soon as he caught wind of the significant markdown.

"What?! You're only selling them for five dollars?!" he asked in disbelief. "Hey, everyone! Come get a Watermelon Steven! He's practically giving them away! Hurry up before they're gone forever!"

Before Steven could get a single word out, a large crowd had already started gathering around the table. Unable and unwilling to turn them away, Steven accepted their lowball offers, more than happy to help his watermelons find their "forever homes" above all else. So he sold them off to any and all who came by, to the point that, in almost no time at all, he had a nearly empty table and a sizable stack of cash to show for it. 

Not bad for his very first business venture, Steven supposed.

As much as Dipper hated to admit it, Mabel was right. In time, she'd grow another millimeter–or more–and she'd be able to hold it over his head again, just like before. Or at least she would if not for the newfound advantage he had on his side. 

He made use of the size-changing flashlight once again, mere seconds before Mabel burst into the attic, hoping to catch him in the act. In the act of what, exactly, she had no idea, but she was determined to find out nonetheless. 

"Give it up, Dipper! I know-" she cut herself off, gasping when she caught sight of her brother. When she noticed he was now somehow an entire foot taller than her, at least. "Whoa, what happened?"

"Oh, you know… puberty and stuff," Dipper shrugged, proudly smirking down at her for the first time ever. 

"This doesn't make any sense…" Mabel shook her head, bewildered. "Just a second ago, you were—Wait a minute! This is some kind of magicky thing, isn't it? Was it a wizard or something? There's a wizard in the closet, isn't there? ISN'T THERE?!"

"What? No!" Dipper said. Even so, Mabel wasn't buying it for a second.

"You're telling me that there is not a wizard in this closet. You're telling me that if I open this door right now-"

"Fine! Open it!"

Mabel did so, glaring at her brother all the while. Of course, there was no wizard in the closet, but that hardly convinced her otherwise. "An invisible wizard! Really, Dipper?!"

Stan had long-since stopped monitoring Steven's stall in favor of supervising Greg and Soos as they put together his new attraction. In the midst of ordering his former and current employees around, he was caught off guard when the doorbell suddenly rang. He half expected it to be one of the Gems, come to complain about the Watermelon Steven sale once more. But who was actually awaiting him at the door turned out to be much more annoying by far. 

"Oh, it's you…" he deadpanned down at Gideon. 

"Oh, howdy, Stanford!" he greeted with a dark grin. "Listen closely. Inside this jar I have one thousand cursed Egyptian super termites. Hand over the deed to your property, or I'll smash this jar with a bat and they'll devour this shack with you inside!"

Despite this heavy threat, Stan simply rolled his eyes, unphased. "Hey, what's that?" he pointed in the opposite direction. While Gideon was distracted, Stan pushed the jar of termites out of his hand, letting the creatures fly free the second it hit the ground.

"Oh no!" Gideon screamed as the termites violently swarmed him. "Get off! Get 'em off me!"

His frantic distress only made Stan laugh even harder as he called back inside. "Hey, Soos! Greg! Get out here! I wanna take pictures of this!"

Enraged, Gideon growled as he turned back around, forcing himself to ignore the feverishly biting termites. "Ya'll may have won this battle, but mark my words, Stanford! Your family has a weak spot, and I'm gonna find it!" His threats, however intense they might have been, were ultimately undermined when Gideon shrieked over the termites filling his pompadour. "Ah! My hair!"

Refusing to endure another second of embarrassment, Gideon sullenly retreated once more. He didn't get too far, however, before he noticed a sizable crowd gathered around a table on the far side of the shack. Curious, he crept over to get a better look, unable to quell the wave of rage that washed over him when he spotted Steven as at the center of that crowd, selling his strangely-shaped watermelons at a surprising rate. Watermelons that Gideon couldn't help but see some level of potential when it came to his next sinister scheme, whatever it might be. 

Unaware that he was being spied on from afar, Steven finished off with another round of happy customers. In the calm that followed, he took time to count out his earnings, realizing he'd made a surprisingly decent profit. "And another… and another…" His grin widened as he finished piling his stack of cash. "Cool, one hundred pieces of money."

Before Steven could put the rest of the Watermelon Stevens out for sale, he stopped short when he spotted something, or someone crawling out from under his table. "Oh, hey, Onion," he greeted the young boy with a friendly grin. As usual, Onion didn't say a word as he rose to stand before the table, expectantly holding his hand out to Steven. 

"Um… you want… my money?" he guessed. Still, Onion didn't seem satisfied as he shook his head and pushed his hand further towards Steven. 

"You want to buy one of my Watermelon Stevens?" Once more, Onion declined. He decided to be more direct by pointing at none other than Baby Melon. "Oh, sorry, Onion," Steven shook his head. "Baby Melon's not for sale."

Steven only turned away for a second, but that was more than enough. By the time he glanced back at the table, his smile fell when he noticed it was empty–and that both Baby Melon and Onion were gone. 

"Onnniiiioooon!"