Universe Falls (Gravity Falls x Steven Universe)

Summary:

After uncovering a conspiracy about the alleged founder of Gravity Falls, the kids set out to unravel a historical mystery... and to prove the snobbish Pacifica Northwest wrong.

For as small of a town as Gravity Falls was, it usually didn't take very long for Stan to head in, finish any errands he needed to get done, and head out. For today's quick trip to the grocery store, he decided to bring Dipper and Mabel along with him. A decision he soon came to regret upon getting caught up in traffic for what seemed like the tenth time in a row. 

Even so, the twins hardly minded the delay as they shared some nachos in the back seat. Mabel helped herself to two chips, fixing them to the studs on her ears to invent an entirely new type of jewelry altogether. 

"Nacho earrings!" she proudly proclaimed, laughing. "I'm hilarious!"

"That's debatable," Stan sneered. His aggravation only spiked as he found himself forced to slam on his car's breaks yet again. "Come on, what's with all this traffic?! And why is it all… covered wagons?" He paled in sudden horror as he watched a horse-drawn wagon slowly pass by. "Oh no," he panicked, throwing the car into reverse. "No! No! Not today!"

"Grunkle Stan, what's going on?" Dipper asked, gripping his seat tightly against Stan's frantic driving. 

Stan didn't answer. He was far too focused on trying to peel out of town as quickly as possible. "We gotta get out of here before it's too late!" Unfortunately, his escape attempt was soon halted as another wagon rolled in to block the road right behind him. "They've circled the wagons! We're trapped! Nooooo!"

Sure enough, the car was completely surrounded by the wagons and their riders, all clad in 19th century attire. As the twins peered out the window, it was as though they'd somehow entered another era entirely. And as perplexed as Dipper was by that, Mabel simply smiled over at the cow standing only a few inches away from her window. "I have a good feeling about today!"

Stan had no choice but to admit defeat and park the car, knowing they'd be getting nowhere fast in it. As the Pines began heading down Main Street on foot, they were able to get a first-hand look at its old-fashioned facelift. Most traces of modernity had been stripped away, replaced by what looked like an authentic frontier town. Still, despite the wooden stalls and makeshift teepees, there was an air of festivity in the air, with banners and flags flying high and crowds taking part in a variety of archaic activities from basket weaving to spoon whittling. 

"Ugh, it's Pioneer Day," Stan explained, rolling his eyes. "Every year these yahoos dress up like idiots to celebrate the day Gravity Falls was founded."

"Welcome to 1863!" Toby Determined brightly exclaimed as he walked past the Pines. 

"I will break you, little man!" Stan threatened, frightening Toby enough to chase him off.

"Grunkle Stan, what's so bad about Pioneer Day anyway?" Dipper asked. "It seems harmless enough."

"Yeah, and look at all the old-timey cool stuff you can do!" Mabel added, pointing out a handful of festival booths. "Candle dipping, gold panning, and-" She stopped short upon spotting a man who was being officially married to a woodpecker. "And… that, I guess."

"Oh yeah. I remember reading about this," Dipper said, recalling it from a passage in the journal. "Apparently it used to be legal to marry woodpeckers in Gravity Falls."

"Oh it's still legal," the man said as he passed by with his new woodpecker bride. " Very legal."

"See what I mean? This holiday brings out the crazy in everyone in Gravity Falls," Stan crossed his arms. "And that's saying something considering how crazy everyone in this town is already."

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but we actually agree with you on this one, Stan."

The Pines turned to find the Gems arriving. Steven and Connie followed not too far behind, both far more excited and intrigued than the Gems were by the surrounding festivities. 

"Oh, come on, you guys!" Steven exclaimed. "Pioneer Day is great! It's like we've stepped into some weird alternate dimension where people ride horses instead of cars and don't bathe! You gotta admit that's pretty cool."

"Uh, Steven? It's not so much that we stepped into an… alternate dimension then that we stepped back in time," Connie corrected, smirking. "Not literally, of course, but still."

"Whoa… Still cool!" 

"Ugh, Pioneer Day isn't cool, Steven, it's lame ," Amethyst groaned. "Can we go yet?"

"I'm already way ahead of you three on that one," Stan scowled at a group of passing wannabe pioneers. "I've already stomached enough Pioneer Day for one lifetime. And if you two come back to the shack talking like these people," he fixed the twins with a warning look. "You're dead to me."

To the twins, however, this was far more of an invitation than a warning. "There's a carpetbagger in the turnip cellar!" Dipper proclaimed first as he took on a faux western accent.

"Well, hornswabber my haversack!" Mabel exclaimed just as heartily.

"Oh! I wanna try!" Steven enthusiastically raised his hand. "Um… Ya'll!"

Though the kids were able to enjoy a good laugh over this, Stan and the Gems didn't come anywhere close to sharing it. For his part, Stan simply shook his first at the kids before angrily storming off, shouting, "Dead to me!"

 "So…" Amethyst spoke up after a beat of silence. "Can we leave now?" 

"Unfortunately, no," Pearl sighed. "You know how Pioneer Day is. Since the people of Gravity Falls get so into celebrating it, they usually completely abandon modern common sense and safety practices. And even if they decide to disregard those things for an entire day, that doesn't mean we should."

"We need to stick around to ensure public safety," Garnet summarized. "The last thing we want is a repeat of Pioneer Day 1968."

"There were so many fish…" Pearl cringed at the unpleasant memory.

"Oh, so is that why you guys don't like Pioneer Day?" Connie asked, curious.

"Oh, no. The real reason why we detest this pointless holiday is because it's all one big sham," Pearl crossed her arms. 

"Sham?" Dipper wondered. "What do you-"

His question when unasked as the loud clang of a bell rang out from the nearby town square. An announcement filled the air along with it as a crowd began to congregate in that direction. "Come one and come all for the opening ceremonies!"

"Oh, this is always the best part!" Steven exclaimed, already running ahead. "Come on, you guys!"

As excited as Steven and Mabel both were, there was little Dipper or Connie could do to stop them from dragging them over to the square. The Gems, however, were far less impressed as they watched the wheels snap out from under a passing, poorly-built covered wagon. As telling of an omen as there ever was for how today was probably going to go. 

"Can we leave now ?" Amethyst asked once again, annoyed. 

"Amethyst…" Pearl groaned just as tiredly. 

"Fine," she pouted, crossing her arms in begrudging acceptance. "But I'm gonna keep asking until we actually can leave, so you might as well get used to it."

Unsurprisingly, most of the town had shown up to take part in one of Gravity Falls' most beloved pastimes. A large audience had gathered around the makeshift stage set up in the square, from which the mayor would give his annual Pioneer Day address. Mayor Dewey sat proudly alongside his son, Buck, who made no effort to mask just how bored he was by his father's political posturing. On the other side of the stage sat the wealthy Northwest family, proudly heralding their status and prestige over the entire town. By the time the kids squeezed their way to the front row, Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland were just calling everyone to attention. 

"Here-ye, here-ye! Ye olde commencement ceremony is about to commence!" Blubs called.

"Woo! I got a bell!" Durland cheered, happily ringing it.

"He sure loves his bell," Blubs warmly smiled over at his partner. 

"Alright, that's enough, officers!" Dewey impatiently cut in as he took center stage. He flashed his constituents a flashy, anxious grin as he launched into his prepared speech. "Hello, my fellow pioneers! Welcome to the Gravity Falls of 1863! On this fine day, we celebrate the beginning of our beloved town and honor its fine founders: Nathaniel Northwest and my own great grandfather, William Dewey!"

At the command of a sign held up by one of the mayor's aides, the townsfolk offered an obligatory round of applause before Dewey continued. "Of course, we all know the story of how Gravity Falls was founded way back in 1845, but for those of you who are unaware, allow me to briefly spin the heroic yarn. William Dewey and Nathaniel Northwest were a team of dashing, brave, intrepid pioneers, seeking to carve out their destinies in the wild frontier of the American northwest. Along their way, however, their wagon train was assaulted by a vicious, bloodthirsty monster! The other pioneers had all given up hope and prepared to turn back, but at the last second, William Dewey saved them all with his heroic, supernatural ability by turning into a fifty foot giant, carrying the wagons safely into this very valley we now stand in! The other pioneers were so impressed that they elected him as first mayor of Gravity Falls!"

Once again, the crowd applauded, though not everyone in it was so taken in by this outlandish tale. "What?" Dipper scoffed, incredulous. "That whole story seems pretty out there. And by out there, I mean impossible."

"I guess it wouldn't be too out of the question though…" Connie shrugged. "Gravity Falls can be a pretty strange place, but still…"

As the crowd continued to cheer for the heroic exploits of William Dewey, the current mayor happened to catch the aggravated glare that Preston Northwest was sending his way. "Dewey!" he snapped loudly enough so that only the mayor could hear him. "Remember what we agreed on!"

"Oh, right!" Dewey cleared his throat. Not wanting to risk any potential funding from the wealthy family, the mayor was quick to correct himself. "Aha! But I erroneously forgot to mention that our dear town here would have never been discovered if not for the quick wit and impressive navigating skills of Nathaniel Northwest! C-certainly, he is the true hero in this town's founding!"

As the townsfolk clapped again, Dewey took a tentative glance back at the Northwests. He breathed a sigh of relief as he got a terse nod of approval from Preston. Not wanting to stumble any further, Dewey quickly ended his speech and moved on with the next part of the program. "A-and now, here's our beloved town darling, Pacifica Northwest!"

Pacifica confidently strode forward, clad in an aptly trendy old-fashioned dress. She barely even spared Dewey a glance as she walked past him, her nose in the air as she grinned at the crowd below. "Howdy, everyone! You all know me, Pacifica Northwest, great-great granddaughter of Nathaniel Northwest. I'm also very rich."

Somehow, that was enough to get the crowd cheering, and Pacifica readily soaked in the adulation before moving on. "Now if you've got the pioneer spirit, we ask you to come on up and introduce yourself!"

Mabel let out a delighted gasp and her wide grin mirrored Steven's perfectly as they exchanged a glance. "Audience participation!" 

"Finally, a chance for me to use this!" Steven pulled the ukulele strapped to his back forward.

"I don't know, Mabel," Dipper said, eyeing Pacifica warily. "Isn't that girl kind of like your arch-enemy?"

"Yeah, don't you remember how terrible she acted during the sidewalk art contest the other week?" Connie asked. She fixed the heiress on stage with a cross glare, still holding onto a good deal of resentment from their first encounter. Resentment that Mabel was much more willing to leave behind. 

"Oh, that's water under the bridge now," Mabel waved her hand. "Come on, Steven!"

"Yeah!" Steven readily followed after her as she ran up onstage. 

"Our first newcomer is-" Pacifica stopped short when she noticed who had joined her. Her broad smile swiftly fell into a hostile scowl as she bitterly growled, "Mabel…" 

"And don't forget about Steven!" he added with a wide smile.

"Let's get this Pioneer Day started!" Mabel zealously exclaimed. "Right, everyone? USA! USA!"

"USA! USA!" the crowd gladly joined in on the patriotic cheer. Steven hoped to make their spirits even brighter as he began strumming a merry tune on his ukulele, before launching into a full, on-the-spot song. 

"Ohhhh… Way, way back in 1845, Gravity Falls became alive!" Steven sang as the crowd clapped along to the beat. "So now we're here to celebrate! Pioneer Day, isn't it great?!"

Before Steven could go into his second verse, he was abruptly, harshly interrupted by Pacifica. "Uh, what do you think you're doing?" 

"Singing a song!" Steven grinned as he continued strumming. 

"No, you're not," Pacifica deadpanned. "You're making a total fool out of yourself. Sorry to break it to both of you, but Pioneer Day is for serious people, and you two look and act ridiculous. I mean, a puppy playing basketball?" she scoffed, eying the design on Mabel's sweater. "And who even plays the ukulele anyway?" she rolled her eyes at Steven. "Are you two always this silly?"

"But… ukuleles are really cool!" Steven protested, frowning. "And, i-it's mine, and I like it!"

"Like I said," Pacifica made a show of haughtily flipping her hair. "Silly."

"Hey, we can both be serious!" Mabel puffed her chest out to make her look more mature. "Right, Steven?"

"Right!" Steven threw his ukulele over his shoulder as he took up a similar stance. 

"You do have nachos hanging from your ear, hon," Pacifica pointed out. Mabel was unable to stifle the hot blush that filled her face as she gently skimmed her nacho earrings in newfound regret.

"And as randomly singing songs in public," Pacifica said to Steven, still sore over how he had almost upstaged her. "Just so you know, it's not charming; it's childish ." Steven winced as he looked back at his ukulele, suddenly wishing he hadn't brought it along after all. 

As the pair hung their heads in shame, Pacifica simply smirked, satisfied that she'd gotten the upper hand over them both. "Wow, I'm embarrassed for you guys," she let out a small, patronizing laugh, one that the crowd soon began to join in on. "Give them a hand, everybody!" 

The audience did as she said, save for Dipper and Connie. Instead, the pair exchanged an angry nod, knowing that they couldn't let Pacifica get away with humiliating Steven and Mabel so easily. "Hey!" Connie snapped at her as the pair sadly sulked off stage. "You can't talk to them like that!"

"Why not?" Pacifica shrugged, unsympathetic. "I'm just being honest. Heck, if anything I'm doing them a favor by giving them the reality check they so desperately need. That's what makes me so nice . Isn't that right, folks!?"

Though the town unanimously agreed with her, Dipper took the opportunity to lead Steven and Mabel away from the limelight to spare them any further embarrassment. Connie soon followed, though not before sparing one final, disgusted glare Pacifica's way as she posed for a commemorative photo alongside her family. 

"Everyone say Northwest!" she called, sharing a smug laugh with her equally elitist parents after the photo was snapped. "We're perfect."

As distracted as the crowd was, nobody noticed when the kids slipped away from it. Steven and Mabel were uncharacteristically solemn and silent, making it clear that Pacifica's cruel remarks had cut them both deep. And as frustrated as both Connie and Dipper were by that, they knew the pair needed their support now more than they needed either of them to stand up for them.

"Hey, are you ok?" Dipper placed a consoling hand on his sister's shoulder. 

Mabel sighed as she took a glance back at the stage. "I need some old-timey butterscotch."

"Same here…" Steven glumly agreed.

"Then we'll get you both some," Connie offered them a reassuring smile. It was all she could do to keep herself from marching back over to the stage to find some way to put Pacifica and her pompous attitude in her place. "Come on, let's go."

If there was one thing Stan couldn't stand, it was getting caught up in the inane, annoying nightmare that was Pioneer Day. Unfortunately, escaping its clutches was far easier said than done. The streets going in and out of town were all closed for the occasion, forcing Stan to take a rarely used dirt road to get back to the shack. A plan that quickly fell through when his wheels got caught in a puddle of mud. 

Though he tried to drive out himself, his car had all but stalled, stuck in place. Fortunately, it seemed as though his luck was about to turn as he spotted his usual mechanic passing by, dressed for Pioneer Day with a donkey by his side. 

"Hey there, uh, donkey boy!" Stan called him over. "Give me a hand with my car, huh?"

"Here in 1863, I have never heard of a 'car'," the man said, playing up the Pioneer Day act. "Pray-tell, what is this magic wheel box?"

"Aw, c'mon, Jim, you're a mechanic for Pete's sake!" Stan exclaimed, exasperated. "Cut me some slack!"

"'Slack'? I am unfamiliar with this bold, new expression…"

"I can't take this anymore!" Stan wailed. "I'm getting dumber every second I'm here!"

A sudden whistle cut through the air as Blubs and Durland ran up, ready to stop any possible altercation. "Are we gonna have to intervene here?" the sheriff asked, suspicious.

"Oh look. The 'constable'," Stan mocked the pair. "What are you gonna do? Put me in 'ye stocks'?"

As it turned out, that's exactly what they did. Stan was shocked to find himself abruptly arrested, landing him in the stockade set up near the town square for the rest of the day. It was going to make for a frustratingly boring and downright embarrassing punishment, to say the least. Of course, just when things didn't seem as though they could get anymore humiliating, that's when they did. 

"Well, well…" Pearl smirked as approached the stocks alongside Amethyst and Garnet. "Looks like someone finally had the common sense to put you right where you belong, Stan. You know, back in the real pioneer days, they used to lock the town's most sleazy crooks in these very stocks. So I guess this is actually quite fitting."

"Can it, Pearl," Stan shot back. "I think I've been through enough torture today. I don't need any more from having to listen to you run your yap."

Despite Pearl's offended gasp, Amethyst snorted out a much-needed laugh. "Good one, Stan! But seriously, being locked up in that dumb thing looks like it's even more boring than just being at Pioneer Day alone."

"And that's saying something," Garnet deadpanned, her hands on her hips.

"Tell me about it," Stan grumbled. "Hey, here's an idea. How about you three do me a favor and bust me outta this thing, huh?"

"And why in the world would we ever do that?" Pearl asked. "Chances are you probably got yourself into this mess by doing something illegal, so it's only fair that you face the consequences."

"So I insulted the cops. Who cares? That's what they get for bein' cops," Stan scowled. "C'mon, just hook me up! If you help me out, I'll… uh… I'll stop complaining about you guys for a week. What do you say?"

Pearl and Garnet simply exchanged a flat glance, not even bothering with a response as they began to walk away. "O-okay! How's this? I'll extend it to a whole month!" Stan shouted after them. "And if I slip up and say something bad about you guys, then you can borrow Dipper and Mabel for a while! Take 'em on your little adventures or use them to fix up the house or whatever! Come on! You're not gonna get a deal like this anywhere else!"

By the time Stan was finished, Garnet and Pearl were already well out of earshot. Amethyst, on the other hand, had conspicuously hung back. "Don't worry, Stan," she whispered with a sly grin. "I got you covered."

"This isn't going to be anything like the last time you broke me out of jail, is it, Amethyst?" Stan asked, doubtful.

"Nah," she shrugged. "Mostly 'cause I don't have a battering ram on me this time. But just sit tight for a while. You'll be outta here in no time. Trust me."

"...Ugh," Stan let out a long, weary sigh as he watched her run off. But with little other options available to him, he found he had no choice but to rely on her risky, reckless schemes once again. "Why do I always get such a bad feeling in my gut whenever you tell me to trust you?"

After stocking up on a steady supply of butterscotch, the kids found a secluded spot near the statues of Nathaniel Northwest and William Dewey in the park. As dejected as they were, Steven and Mabel sullenly ate their butterscotch without so much as a word, much less a smile. It was a sight that worried Dipper and Connie alike the longer it went on for, to the point that they soon couldn't bear to watch it go on any more than they already had. 

"Connie, we have to do something," Dipper whispered. "I hate seeing those two so upset."

"Same here," Connie frowned. "It's so quiet without Mabel cracking a joke or Steven playing his ukulele…"

"Well, hopefully it won't be like that for long," Dipper said, resolved. "I have an idea. Follow my lead." After a brief bout of silence, he addressed the despondent pair. "So, um… how's that butterscotch treating you guys?"

"It's sweet…" Mabel pouted.

"And sticky…" Steven added, just as morose.

"How about we go to the gold panning booth or something?" Dipper offered. "After all, anything's better than just moping around here, right?"

"And it could be fun," Connie smiled. "I mean, we probably won't find any real gold, but we could always pretend. And if there's two things we know you both like, it's shiny things and pretending."

"We appreciate what you guys are trying to do, but… no thanks…" Steven sighed. "We're… just not up for it."

"Actually… can I ask you guys something?" Mabel began. "Do you think me and Steven are silly?"

Dipper and Connie exchanged an uneven glance at this. Their initial silence alone spoke volumes to the pair sitting alongside them, even more so than the halfhearted, uncertain answers they tried to give. 

"Um, n-no?"

"Not… always...?"

"Aw, man!" Steven flopped onto his back as he pushed his ukulele even further away from him. "Even you guys think so!? Why did nobody ever tell us?! No wonder the Gems are always leaving me out of stuff. They probably think I act like a clown."

"Oh, Steven, I'm sure they don't think that…" Connie reassured. "You both can be really serious when you want to be."

"But not when it counts…" Mabel shook her head. "The nacho earrings, the sweater… I thought I was being charming, but I guess people just see me as a big joke." Not wanting to cling onto her silliness any longer, she tore off her nacho earrings and took off her sweater, tying it around her waist.

"Come on, Mabel, you love that sweater!" Dipper protested. 

"I did before Pacifica ruined it for me," Mabel glared at the ground. "She ruins everything!"

"Ugh, Pacifica!" Dipper stood and scowled up at the statue behind them. "Why does she think that being related to the town founder means she can treat people like garbage?"

"I can't stand how she goes around acting like she's so much better than everyone!" Connie agreed, indigent. "Being rich shouldn't give anyone that much of an ego. Someone really needs to take her down a peg."

"Wait a minute!" Dipper started in sudden realization as he pulled the journal out of his vest. "I feel like I read something about Pacifica's great-great-grandfather before." 

After flipping through a few pages, he quickly found the section of the journal that detailed the history of Gravity Falls. "Of course! This is perfect!" he wasted no time in reading the passage aloud for the others. "In my investigations and through several hints the Gems have given me, I recently made a discovery: Nathaniel Northwest and William Dewey may not be the true founders of Gravity Falls! I believe this secret is buried somewhere in the enclosed document. If only I could crack the code…"

Sure enough, a document was taped to the opposite page. Upon unfolding it, the kids were met with a cryptic letter filled with mysterious symbols and indecipherable codes. "Oh man, I knew that story Mayor Dewey told about the town's founding sounded ridiculous!" Dipper exclaimed. "If this cover-up is true, it means that Pacifica's entire family is a fraud. This could be a major conspiracy!"

"Oh, just imagine how mad Pacifica will be when she finds out!" Connie said, chuckling. "We have to find a way to prove this theory and tell the entire town! They deserve to know the truth."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Steven interrupted, his eyes wide with newfound excitement. "I want to help you guys solve this mystery!"

"Me too!" Mabel volunteered. "After all, conspiracies are serious, right?"

"Oh yeah, definitely," Dipper nodded.

"Well, if we help you guys crack this code, then nobody could ever call the two of us silly ever again!" Mabel reasoned.

"Yeah!" Steven jumped to his feet, holding his ukulele over his head. "No more silliness for me! From now on, you can call me Serious Steven!" With a daring shout, he prepared to slam his ukulele to the ground, at least until Connie rushed in to stop him. 

"Steven, wait!" she exclaimed. "You don't have to break your ukulele to be serious!"

"Oh, good!" Steven breathed a sigh of relief as he slung his instrument back over his shoulder. "I might have gotten a little caught up in the heat of the moment…"

"Ok, guys, let's do this," Dipper said, holding his hand up for the others-five. "Mystery Kids?"

"I thought you didn't like that," Mabel said. After all, out of all of them, her brother had been the least fond of the title Soos had given the four of them a few weeks ago. 

"It's starting to grow on me," Dipper shrugged, smiling. 

"Woo hoo! Mystery Kids!" Steven cheered as all four of them high-fived. Without any further ado, the group set off to begin their search for the truth, unaware of the pair who had been eavesdropping from the other side of the statues. 

Blubs and Durland watched as the kids ran off, prompting the sheriff to activate his walkie-talkie. "This is Sheriff Blubs. We've got a code sepia!"

"What?!" the dispatcher on the other end exclaimed, alarmed. "And what are you doing about it?!"

"We're following them right now," Blubs confirmed.

"Find them and stop them. There's no room for error."

"I understand. Blubs out," the sheriff put the walkie talkie away before turning to his partner. "Deputy Durland, maintaining this cover-up is the mission we've been training for our entire careers. Are you ready?"

Instead of offering an answer, Durland simply held up his bell and gave it another cheerful ring. "Woo!" 

Blubs couldn't help but laugh, as charmed by his partner as he ever was. "If being delightful was a crime, you'd be breaking the law!"

"Let's go get 'em!" Durland proclaimed, still ringing his bell. They both headed off, their mission to stop the kids from completing their quest clear. The very history of Gravity Falls, if not the entire nation, depended on it.

The kids decided to begin their search at the town library. If there was any place that could offer them the intel they'd need to decode the journal's document, it'd be there. Dipper and Connie had already accumulated a tall stack of books and slides on cryptology while Steven and Mabel cleared a table for them to work. Solving a mystery of this caliber certainly wouldn't be easy, but they were determined to rise to the occasion, just like they had several times this summer so far. 

"Alright, you guys," Dipper began. "If we can prove Nathaniel Northwest wasn't one of the founders of Gravity Falls, then it will finally put Pacifica in her place."

"And solving a real mystery will prove that we're not silly!" Mabel added, exchanging a grin with Steven. "We're serious. Seeeeerrioussssss…" She kept up a stoic expression on her face as she used her tongue to lap up the butterscotches sitting on the table nearby.

"Serious Steven!" he cheered loudly, only to be quickly shushed by the librarian. "Oh, sorry!" he called, only for the librarian to quiet him once more. "Sorry…" he whispered this time, blushing.

"Ok, it's time to beat these books," Connie said as she cracked a heavy tome open.

"Hey, what did they ever do to you?" Steven asked, concerned.

"It's an expression, Steven," Connie laughed. "We're just going to use them to help us find a way to crack that code, right Dipper?"

"Right," Dipper nodded before turning towards the projector slides he had gathered on various kinds of codes. "So, let's see here…" He held the document up alongside the projector for comparison as he went through them. "It's not Egyptian… It's not numerology… It's not—wait, of course! The triangle is the alchemist symbol for flame!" He pointed to the large triangle that took up most of the page. "Lighting this parchment on fire will reveal a secret message!"

"Whoa, really?!" Steven loudly asked, only to be shushed by the librarian again. 

"It's so obvious!" Mabel exclaimed, still chewing on butterscotch.

"Alright," Dipper grabbed the candle sitting on the table. "Let's light this sucker up and—Mabel!"

Mabel froze at her brother's surprised exclamation, taking a brief glance up at the paper hat she had quickly crafted out of the document. "Look! I made a hat!" she proclaimed, only to realize her error immediately afterwards. "Ugh, I did something silly again!"

"To be fair, it is a really cool looking hat," Steven encouraged. 

"Wait a minute," Connie took a second, closer look at the folded document. "The way the symbols are all rearranged… It sort of looks like… a map!"

"Whoa, you're right!" Dipper exclaimed, surprised. "Mabel, you folded it into a map! And I was gonna burn it…"

The kids' shared excitement was suddenly broken when they happened to overhear a startling conversation at the front desk. "We're on the lookout for four kids who might be reading," Sheriff Blubs informed the librarian.

"We're huntin' them down for secret reasons!" Durland exclaimed, still ringing his bell.

Knowing they didn't have much time left to spare, the kids abandoned their table, hiding behind a shelf just out of sight of the officers. They hadn't guessed that their investigation might get them in trouble with the law, but that seemed to be the case now that Blubs and Durland were clearly on their tails. 

In light of this information, the kids knew they had not a moment to spare as they quickly took to hiding behind a nearby shelf, just out of sight of the officers. They hadn't guessed that their investigation might get them in trouble with the law, but that apparently seemed to be the case since Blubs and Durland were now on their tails.

"Okay, guys, maybe we should take this elsewhere," Dipper anxiously peered out from behind the shelf. 

"Way ahead of you, Dipper!" Steven gave a thumbs up as he lay on top of a wheeled stepping stool. He let out a laugh as he gave himself a push, riding the stool down the aisle as the others quickly followed after him.

"Steven, wait!" Connie called as quietly as possible. "We might get caught!"

"Yeah, and I want a turn!" Mabel protested.

"Wee!" Steven chuckled as he went down the row of books, glancing over at them curiously. "Wow! There are even cool books on the bottom shelves!" He'd just about ridden the stool to the end of the aisle when he happened to spot a stray book lying under one of the shelves. "Huh? What are you doing down there little buddy?" He picked both himself and the book up just as the others caught up to him. The tome was covered with dust, and from its blank, worn red cover it was clear to see that it was quite old. "Guys, check this book out!" Steven showed it off to his friends.

"Steven, it's blank," Connie noted, knowing they didn't really have time for this. After all, the cops were certainly still on the hunt for them; they had to leave the library as soon as possible. Or else.

Steven let out an amazed gasp as he cracked the book open, only to find a detailed sketch of the Gem temple on one of its pages. "But look!" he flipped through several more of its pages so everyone else could see. "It's full of drawings of magical Gem places! Just like the journal!"

"Wait, what?!" Dipper took the book, immensely intrigued. Indeed, it had sketches and descriptions of not just the temple, but other mystical locations as well, many of which he had seen in the journal before. Still, there were clear differences between this book and the journal, including the style of the illustrations and language used in the descriptions, proving that they were both written by different authors. "What is this thing?"

"Uh, we might not have enough time to sit down and read it here!" Mabel pointed out. She stole a peak through a gap in the shelves, spotting the cops as they searched the next aisle over for them. 

The kids made a beeline for the exit, deciding to take the mysterious book with them. Fortunately, they made it out of the library without being noticed, giving them the time and space they needed to take a closer look at the book Steven had found. 

"Whoa… Apparently this book was the journal of Buddy Budwick!" Connie pointed out as she read through the first few pages of the book.

"Buddy who-now?" Mabel asked, confused.

"Oh wait! I think I've heard of that guy," Steven said. "Mayor Dewey mentions him every other year during his Pioneer Day speech. I think he was a friend of William Dewey or something."

"Then that means he could have known something that can help!" Dipper theorized. "Connie, keep reading."

"Ok, let's see here…" Connie adjusted the frames of her glasses as she began to read the first entry. " August, 1845. At last our long and perilous journey upon the Oregon Trail has reached its end. Our wagon train has found a place to stake our claims and start anew, a small, rather odd valley dubbed Gravity Falls. However, I would be absolutely remiss if I didn't recount the miraculous circumstances that brought our leaders, William Dewey and Nathaniel Northwest, to this bold new land…

"We had been journeying upon the trail for many weeks; our food supplies and morale were starting to run quite low, but Mr. Dewey and Mr. Northwest refused to share their healthy rations with the rest of us. (Since this is my own personal journal, it would likely be safe for me to note that neither of them were very competent leaders.) However, as we were going over a precarious overpass, we were attacked by a monster unlike anything we had ever seen before!

"Mr. Northwest and Mr. Dewey prepared to flee for their lives, leaving the rest of us to fend the fell monster off alone. But alas! When it seemed as though all of our hope had died and the hour of doom seemed at hand, we were rescued! Our savior was a giant, eight-armed woman, an illustrious goddess of a creature! With ease, she defeated the monster and carried us and our wagons into the safety of the valley, before somehow splitting apart into four smaller, yet still quite impressive women.

"The women introduced themselves as the Crystal Gems, and their leader, Rose Quartz, warmly welcomed us to the fledgling town of Gravity Falls. However, she gave us a gentle warning that this land was one of untold dangers and that it might not be safe for us to stay. Mr. Northwest and Mr. Dewey harshly scoffed at her concerns and decided to settle down here anyway, as did most of the rest of us. Still, I cannot help but wonder if the Crystal Gems were right about this odd little town after all…"

"Wow, my mom and the Gems helped all of those people get here!" Steven grinned once Connie was done reading. "That's so cool!"

"That's not the only thing that's cool about this," Dipper said as he flipped through Buddy's book for himself. "If what this Buddy guy wrote is true, then that means that Gravity Falls was already here way before Nathaniel Northwest and William Dewey got here! Which means-"

"It means that the Gems can turn into a giant, giant woman!" Mabel interrupted. " I wanna see her and all eight of her arms!"

"No," Dipper flatly corrected. "It means that Northwest and Dewey couldn't have been the town founders! This book proves it!"

"And to think I found it just rolling around on a stool!" Steven laughed, before remembering his resolve. "I-I mean, I found it by being serious !"

"It's proof… but I don't think it's the kind of proof anyone's going to accept…" Connie mused, frowning. "We're gonna need something bigger… Something that Pacifica and her family won't just be able to shrug off."

"You're right," Dipper agreed. "Mabel, let me see that, uh, 'hat' of yours again?"

Mabel handed it over, giving Dipper a chance to see exactly where the map was pointing them. "Hm…" he pondered over the abstract image of a pointing angel. "I'm… not sure what this is supposed to be."

"Oh, I know!" Steven raised his hand. "I've seen a statue that looks just like that in the town cemetery!"

"Then that's where we're headed," Connie said as she tucked Buddy's book under her arm. "Let's go!"

As the kids hurried off, Blubs and Durland emerged from the library following a fruitless search. Almost as soon as they did, Blub's walkie-talkie buzzed to life once more. "Officer Blubs, have the targets been apprehended yet?"

"Negative," Blubs shook his head. "But we're close. I promise, those kids'll never get past us!"

Of course, at that exact moment, the kids ran straight past the pair en route to the cemetery. "Hey! Get back here!" Blubs shouted after him. He and Durland ended up tripping over each other, however, leading to them falling into a messy pile of limbs at the bottom of the library stairs, much to the sheriff's frustration. "Dang it!"

As was the case with every Pioneer Day, the Gems found that most of their time at the festival was spent meandering around and making sure that no one was blindly walking into danger. It was a painfully tedious task, one that they'd dutifully undertaken ever since the holiday was created years ago. As much as they all wished it'd finally come to an end, no matter how much the townsfolk may have enjoyed it. 

"Well, no one's broken any bones or set anything on fire yet," Pearl noted as they walked down Main Street. "So I guess that's a plus when compared to the last several years…"

"Knowing how Pioneer Day usually goes, I doubt the streak will be broken," Garnet said dryly.

Oddly enough, Amethyst said nothing as she lagged a bit behind her teammates. She kept her focus over on Stan as he sat in the stocks, impatient waiting for her plan to kick into action. A plan she was more than ready to carry out… as soon as Garnet and Pearl weren't looking. 

"Heeeeeyy, look who it is!" Amethyst perked up when she noticed the kids approaching. Just the sort of distraction she needed right now. "How are you guys digging Pioneer Day? Hopefully you all aren't bored out of your minds like we are."

"Sorry, you guys, but we can't stop to talk," Steven said. "We're in the middle of something super serious ."

"Oh really?" Pearl asked with a curious smile. "Like what?"

"We're gonna find out who really founded Gravity Falls!" Mabel grinned daringly. "It's a HUGE mystery and we're not going to stop until we crack this nut wide open!"

"Sounds like a pretty big nut," Garnet said, smirking.

"Wait a second! Maybe you guys can help us out," Dipper said as he pulled out the journal. "You three were around when Gravity Falls was founded, weren't you?"

"Well… not exactly…" Pearl frowned. "We came about a year late, but we were 'around' back then, so to speak."

"So you guys would know whether or not Nathaniel Northwest and William Dewey were actually the town founders, wouldn't you?" Connie pressed.

"Are you kidding?" Amethyst burst out laughing. "Those losers? Come on. They couldn't have found their way to a tree. And in case you haven' noticed, there are trees everywhere around here."

"Plus, they didn't arrive here until almost two years after we got here," Pearl pointed out. "Yet the townsfolk have been so insistent on hailing them as the town founders for over one hundred years now for some inane reason." As she continued, neither her or Garnet noticed as Amethyst discreetly looked away when no one was watching. "We've tried countless times to try and set the record straight, but the people of Gravity Falls are stubbornly set in their historically inaccurate ways. What a shame."

"Then that means the book was right!" Dipper exclaimed, excited. Because certainly, with the Gems' help, this entire conspiracy could come to a conclusive end right here and right now. All it took was asking the only question left unanswered: "So if Northwest and Dewey didn't found Gravity Falls, then who did?"

"That's easy," Garnet replied, adjusting hershades. "It was-"

Just before she could finish, a sudden crash rattled the entire street. Garnet and Pearl spun around to find a startling sight. Amethyst's attempt at breaking Stan out of the stocks had ended in failure, and a messy failure at that. Her scheme involved a bicycle, a blowtorch, and several fireworks, all of which she'd managed to gather in record time. While there'd been no injuries in the resulting explosion, several people were still sent running from the small fires it had set. Amidst this disaster was Amethyst, covered in soot as she stood beside Stan, still sullenly stuck in the stocks. 

"Well, you gotta give me credit for trying at least," she shrugged, patting the flames off his fez.

"I'd give you even more credit if you hadn't ended up causing small-scale property damage," Stan deadpanned.

"Amethyst!" Pearl scolded from across the square, her hands curled into angry fists. "What did you do?!"

"Just a little jailbreak, P," Amethyst said, hanging her arms behind her head. "No biggie."

"Well, there's our disaster for this year," Garnet said, already setting off across the street. "Might as well go clean it up."

"Unfortunately…" Pearl grumbled. Still, she called back to the kids as she sulked after Garnet. "Have fun with your mystery hunt, kids! And stay safe!"

"But wait!" Dipper shouted after them. "You still haven't told us who the real town founder is!"

Garnet paused for a moment, glancing back over her shoulder as she provided a very brief, very vague response. "You four will figure it out. In fact, the answer's even closer than you think."

"That… doesn't really help at all…" Connie frowned as soon as the Gems went out of earshot.

"I guess finding out the truth is still up to us," Steven shrugged. 

"To the cemetery!" Mabel charged ahead to continue their quest. Only to end up bumping straight into none other than the very heiress they were trying to discredit. 

"Hey!" Pacifica snapped, spinning around to face the group. "Watch where you're–ugh," she stopped herself with a groan. "Of course it's you. What, are you guys late to the local goofball convention or something?"

As she let out a cocky chuckle, both Mabel and Steven shrunk back, still bothered by how she'd mocked them earlier. Dipper and Connie, on the other hand, weren't about to back down so easily. Especially not now when they finally had some form of ammunition to use against her. "Actually," Dipper began with a small, vindictive smile. "We're on our way to prove that your entire family history is bogus and that your great-great grandpa was a total fraud."

"You're what ?" Pacifica asked, aghast. 

"Yeah, turns out we have some pretty compelling evidence that Nathaniel Northwest wasn't the founder of Gravity Falls after all," Connie crossed her arms. "Though to be honest, it wouldn't be that surprising if he really was a fake. Making yourself seem like you're way more important than you actually are must be a Northwest family tradition."

Pacifica reeled back, shocked and offended. Meanwhile, Dipper couldn't help but snort out a laugh as Steven and Mabel perked up a little beside him. "Oo, nice one," he said to Connie, impressed. 

"Thanks," she smirked, before quietly admitting. "I've been working on it all day."

"Y-you… you have no idea what you're talking about!" Pacifica hotly accused. "Even if you do have 'proof', nobody will ever believe you! I know I definitely don't."

"Well… what if we showed you?" Steven suggested. 

"Showed me?" 

"Yeah!" Mabel agreed, smiling. "Come with us. Then you'll be able to see for yourself that we're telling the truth!"

"Yeah right," Pacifica scoffed, turning her nose up at the group. "As if I'd ever be caught dead anywhere with you losers."

"...Uh… well, you're kinda with us right now," Steven pointed out, frowning. "So…"

"Fine, have it your way then," Connie shrugged, turning away. "But don't say we didn't warn you when you and your family ended up disgraced and humiliated in front of the entire town."

With that, they began to head off, leaving Pacifica behind to stew over everything they'd told her. And, as much as she adamantly didn't want to believe a single word any of them said, as much as she didn't want to think everything she'd ever been told about her family's esteemed history was a lie… somehow doubt still slipped in through the cracks all the same. Doubt that managed to be just enough to convince her to begrudgingly change her tune. 

"Ugh, wait," she huffed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "This is so stupid, but… I guess I'll come along. But only so I can laugh in all of your faces when you find out you're wrong , which you are ."

"Great! Glad to have you along for the ride!" Mabel warmly chimed in before Dipper or Connie could make any sort of comeback. She caught Pacifica off guard when she slung an arm over her shoulder. "Check us out! Now we're the Mystery Kids plus one !" 

"Ew, no," Pacifica swiftly pulled away. "Let me make one thing very clear: I am not and I never will be part of your dumb little nerd club."

"Oh, don't worry," Dipper shot her a cold smirk. "We'd never want you to be."

"Come on!" Steven cut in before another argument could break out. The lingering tension was all but lost on him as he charged on ahead to continue their investigation. "To the cemetery!" 

Pacifica stopped short, startled as the others led the way to the next step in their alleged discovery. "To the where now?"

"Are you guys serious ?!" Amethyst asked, distraught. She flinched when Garnet finished slamming the stockade down and Pearl securely locked her in right next to Stan. "What did I even do?"

"You nearly blew up the entire street!" Pearl harshly exclaimed. "And you were trying to break Stan out, even though he had been arrested by legal officials!"

"So?" 

"So, you broke the law," Garnet explained. "And even as a Crystal Gem, you are not above the law, Amethyst."

"Pfft, yeah I am," Amethyst muttered under her breath.

"What was that?" Pearl asked, hands on her hips.

"Nothing," Amethyst flatly droned, rolling her eyes. "You guys do know that this dumb thing can't hold me, right? I can just break out any time I want. Like this." With a sly smirk, Amethyst shape-shifted her arms and head to the point that they were small enough to slip out of the stocks. An impressive trick that Garnet and Pearl were far from taken with. 

"No, Amethyst," Garnet shook her head. "You did the crime; now you have to do the time."

"Come oooooonnnn…" Amethyst groaned as she begrudgingly positioned herself back into the stockade. "You guys are being so lame !"

"We're not the ones who told you to set fireworks off into a crowd," Pearl retorted. "If you two want to act like deviants, then you deserve to be treated like deviants. Let this be a lesson to you both."

"Gee thanks, 'mom'," Stan deadpanned. "Got any more after-school special messages for us? Like how we should look both ways before crossing the street? Or how stealing is wrong?"

Pearl growled, far beyond fed up with them both as she stormed off. "Ugh, you two are hopeless…" 

"Remember, Amethyst," Garnet sternly advised. "No breaking out."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Amethyst flatly agreed. "I'll sit here in time out like a good little Gem. You don't gotta to worry about me."

"I better not have to," Garnet warned, adjusting her shades as she left.

A beat of silence passed between the two "fugitives", though it was soon broken by Stan as he spared a knowing look over at Amethyst. "So you're already thinking up your next escape plan, right?"

Amethyst grinned deviously as she shapeshifted one of her hands out of the stockade. "Oh, you know it."