Undead Beast Master: Living Solely for My Desires

"Even if they weren't twisted before, they became so. It became a regular occurrence for me to find myself in places where my life was in danger—no," Vera's voice turned cold, "it would've been a mercy if it was only my life at risk. Most of the visions began after my fate was already sealed."

The staff she gripped in her hand looked like it might splinter into shards under the pressure of her tightening fingers.

"Should it prove to be too much of a burden, I could always sever the vision, but the price will be a severe drawback to my real body, so I did it as little as possible."

"I… never knew how twisted humanity can really be, but thanks to the visions, I learned it pretty quickly. And the worst thing? It wasn't always humanity's fault. Sometimes I just suffered due to a natural disaster, and other times because of a wild beast."

She took a shallow breath, forcing her muscles to relax.

"I've been beaten, burned, boiled, crushed, drowned, stabbed, pierced, sliced, gutted, chewed, frozen, torn limb from limb, eaten, experimented on, drugged, sexually assaulted, skinned alive, whipped, electrocuted, chained, hanged, blinded, mutilated, castrated, suffocated, poisoned, crucified—and countless other things."

"Every single time, I feel the pain, the fear, the hopelessness of the victims that have gone through the horrible experience as if it is my own."

"I've been trapped in a dark room, chained to a chair, tortured… and then I was the one doing the torturing. I couldn't control the body I inhabited—I was just there, watching, feeling, through their eyes."

"I've even been a woman giving birth. Do you know how much that hurts?"

"There are no limits. I haven't just been humans. I've seen through the eyes of animals, beasts, demons… horrors beyond mortal comprehension."

Zaroth said nothing. Maybe he should have comforted her—but how could he, when she had lived through so much? There were no words that could help—her burden was too heavy to be eased by something as useless as sympathy.

"These visions broke me in several ways. The physical pain was obvious, but the most damning thing was the mental damage. I have lived through countless visions, most showing a scene where the last moment of a person had—or could—pass."

Her voice cracked.

"Do you know how it feels to believe that every single thing you've done has been meaningless? The nature of your own powerlessness starting to eat you from within, slowly devouring your very soul."

"At some point, I got used to even that," she continued, voice steadying. "Like any human would—I adapted. Or what was left of me did. Even though I lost parts of my humanity, even though my feelings dulled, I kept going. I didn't give up. I searched for a way to end this damned curse. To rid myself of these rotting visions."

The shaking of the glass dome intensified several times over, threatening to break and let the deep underwater flood in and drown the two of them. But neither of them paid any attention to that fact in the moment.

"So I began to search—for a person that could have the same goal as me and have the strength to make their wish come true." Her voice trailed off.

"But every single one that I thought would make a good ally turned out to not be fit for the task. A vision of the far future, where they were in a hopeless situation, would come to me—showing me their end. Do you want to know what all of them thought in their final moments?"

"This is impossible, the pain is too much, I am tired, I can't go on." She chuckled softly, shaking her head.

"These people didn't have what it took to kill a god. In the end, they turned out to be cowards—lacking in skill and will," she spat.

"Sure, maybe I could have used my visions to keep them alive for longer—to know when a threat was coming their way and act with the intent to save them. But I didn't want to."

Out of instinct, her delicate fingers brushed off against her white mask.

"I have already seen how they responded to fear and pain. I know what they thought at their final moments. These people hadn't gone through even a fraction of what I suffered, and yet they broke in the very end. How could they have what it takes to kill the gods?"

"I've suffered the most. I will suffer the most. No one knows the pain I've endured. No one will ever match it." Her gaze lowered to the ground, deep in thought. The light skill still in her palm illuminated the glass dome, while her other hand was clutching her staff tightly.

Silence stretched between them for several moments.

"At least… that's what I believed."

A cold shock resonated through her entire body, causing her hands to tremble.

"But when I had lost all hope, I was shown one other vision. It was a vision of you."

Her gaze didn't rise from the glass floor.

"That vision… it was wrong. Twisted. Unnatural. You were enduring something inhuman, and it never stopped. It just kept going—on and on and on. The pain… I've never felt anything like it. That one moment dwarfed every other vision I've ever experienced. And it wasn't just intense—it was endless. So long, it felt like months were slipping by, second by second. The pain never faded. Not once. Not even for a heartbeat."

Her hand let go of her staff, moving to her heart, no doubt remembering unpleasant experiences.

"In the end, I couldn't hold it anymore. I had to sever the vision, and suffered the drawback of doing so."

A few seconds of silence passed over them.

"That's why I came to help you—personally. Because during that vision—at the height of pain worse than anything I've ever endured in my entire life… you weren't the victim. You weren't the prey. The pain wasn't something inflicted on you by a higher power."

"No. You chose it. You walked into it willingly, enduring every second for the sake of completing your goal."

At last, Vera lifted her eyes to meet Zaroth's unreadable expression.

"And through it all, from beginning to end… your twisted smile never left your face."