Uncanny Valley | Rimuru x Arifureta

「 ✦ Rimuru Tempest ✦ 」

I've never been this busy ever since I left the Orcus Labyrinth. I've never exerted as much work and effort as I did today.

Mental exhaustion was a real thing, even if slimes couldn't get physically tired. Standing in the ruins of what had been a perfectly functional government hall not even half an hour ago, surrounded by the ashes of an entire town's worth of people, I felt that exhaustion settling into my consciousness like a dumbbell.

A hundred thousand monsters were still descending on Ur—or what was left of it, anyway. The moment I'd come to warn everyone about the approaching horde, the whole place got reduced to rubble by a bunch of overzealous angels before the monsters could even arrive.

And now this.

"I missed you," Hel said with that same sultry smile I remembered from our brief encounter. Her voice carried easily across the devastated space between us, warm and intimate despite the destruction surrounding us.

"Oh, I'm sure you did," I replied flatly, not bothering to hide my sarcasm. "Because nothing says 'I missed you' quite like showing up right after a massacre."

She laughed—a sound like silver bells mixed with distant thunder. "You always were direct. I appreciate that in a man."

Behind me, I could sense Hajime struggling to reattach his prosthetic arm while Yue helped stabilize him. Shea was trying not to collapse from exhaustion, and Aiko's group was huddled together in terror. All of them were looking between Hel and me, trying to understand what was happening.

"So," Hel continued, tilting her head with the same dangerous cuteness I remembered, "I have to ask—why are you so willing to protect these people? Especially those three." She gestured toward Hajime's group with an elegant hand. "From what I understand, every time you meet them, they try to kill you."

I shrugged, keeping my expression neutral. "Things happen."

"Things happen?" She raised an eyebrow. "That's your explanation for risking your life for people who actively want you dead?"

"Not really—not entirely—but pretty much."

Hel studied my face for a long moment, as if trying to read something written in a language she didn't quite understand.

"Are you friends?"

"Definitely, absolutely not," I said without hesitation.

She nodded slowly, that knowing smile playing at her lips. "I see." She paused, then her expression shifted to something more business-like. "Well then, would you be willing to hand over Aiko Hatayama?"

I turned my head to look back at the trembling teacher and her students. Aiko was barely holding herself together, her face pale with terror and exhaustion. The kids around her looked like they'd aged years in the past few minutes.

"Not today," I said, turning back to face Hel. "Not while I'm here."

Her smile widened, showing teeth that were perhaps a little too sharp. "Even if that meant fighting me?"

I felt my own smile surface. "Even if that meant fighting you."

For a moment, Hel's expression shifted to something that might have been genuine sadness. "That's too bad," she said softly. "I really thought we clicked. That we had something real and intimate going on between us."

"Hel, while I do admit you're hot, don't think boyfriending me will be so easy," I replied. "I have standards."

"Oh…" She pressed a hand to her chest in mock hurt. "You wound me, darling. Here I thought we had a connection—drawn together by fate and circumstance. The chemistry was perfect."

"Was it now?"

"Oh, absolutely." She stepped closer. "The way you looked at me when we first met? The careful distance you maintained? I was very much convinced you loved me."

"Congratulations on meeting the bare minimum for social interaction. No wonder you don't have any friends."

She laughed again, completely unbothered by my sarcasm. "You see? This is exactly what I'm talking about. That sharp wit, that refusal to be intimidated. It's quite attractive."

"I'm flattered. Really."

"You should be." She circled me slowly, like a cat stalking prey—or perhaps like a woman trying to decide if she wanted to devour someone in an entirely different way. "Do you know how rare it is to find someone who can match my energy? Someone who doesn't immediately try to either worship me or destroy me?"

"Shocking that the Goddess of Death has trouble with her love life."

"You joke, but it's true. Immortality gets lonely, darling. Especially when both gods and men can't string two coherent sentences together in your presence." She stopped in front of me again, close enough that I could see the way shadows seemed to dance in her dark, seductive green eyes. "But you? You look at me like I'm just another person. Dangerous, perhaps, but not divine. Not untouchably out of reach."

"Yeah. Because you're really not."

"Exactly!" She clapped her hands together, delighted. "You understand. We're both playing in the same league, you and I. Both beings who've gone beyond flesh and blood. Both..." She paused, her expression growing more serious. "Both very lonely, I think."

I said nothing to that, but something in my silence must have encouraged her.

"I could make you another offer," she continued, her voice dropping to a more intimate register. "Partnership. Alliance. Marriage? Whatever you want to call it. Think about it—we could reshape this world together. No more petty conflicts, no more meaningless struggles. Just pure, efficient governance by those actually capable of seeing the bigger picture."

"And all I'd have to do is hand over one terrified teacher and her students?"

"Just the teacher, but yes. A small price for unlimited influence and companionship with someone who actually understands you."

I looked at her for a long moment, considering. She was beautiful, certainly. Powerful beyond most people's comprehension. Intelligent enough to engage in actual conversation. And yes, there had been something like chemistry when we'd first met—a recognition of equals, or at least near-equals.

But...

"No," I said simply.

Her expression flickered with something that might have been genuine disappointment. "No?"

"No. Like I said, I have standards. And one of them is not handing over innocent people to death goddesses, regardless of how charming they might be."

"Oh? Charming?" Her smile returned, though it seemed a bit forced now. "Well, at least you admit I'm charming."

"I admit you're many things. Charming is one of them."

"But not enough to change your mind."

"Not even close."

She sighed dramatically, throwing her hands up in exasperation. "You're impossible, you know that? Here I am, offering you everything most beings could ever want, and you turn me down over what? A sense of misplaced heroism?"

"Call it whatever you want."

"Fine." She smoothed down her clothes with sharp, irritated movements. "Be that way. Stay here with your not-friends who want you dead and your moral high ground. See how far that gets you."

"I'll manage."

"I'm sure you will." She started to turn away, then paused. "You know, this could have been so much simpler. So much more... pleasant."

"Probably. But simple and pleasant aren't really my style."

"No," she agreed, looking back at me over her shoulder. "I suppose they're not. You always did like doing things the hard way."

"It builds character."

"It builds headaches." But she was smiling again now, and this time it seemed more genuine. "You're really not going to reconsider? Not even if I promise to make it worth your while? Not even if I give myself to you—body and soul?"

"…Nope."

"Stubborn."

"Yep."

She shook her head, but she was still smiling. "You know what? Fine. You want to be stingy with your affections and your cooperation? Be my guest. But don't think this is over."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

"Good." She started walking away, her form already beginning to fade at the edges. "Because you haven't seen the last of me, darling. Not by a long shot."

"Whatever," I called after her.

Her laughter echoed back through the ruins. "See you soon, baby."

And then she was gone, leaving nothing but the faint scent of winter air and old roses.

I stood there for a moment, letting the silence settle around me. Then I heaved a long sigh—partly relief, partly exasperation. The mental exhaustion was getting worse. Between the monster horde, the Apostles, the destroyed town, and now this encounter with Hel, I felt like I'd been put through an emotional blender.

And then, as if all the weight of everything that had happened today finally caught up to me, my knees gave out.

I collapsed forward, my hands hitting the rubble-strewn ground as I knelt there looking every bit like a broken man. My shoulders sagged, my head hung low, and for a moment I just stayed there, breathing heavily and trying to process everything that had just transpired.

Behind me, I heard someone shift uncomfortably. Then Hajime's voice. "What's happening to you?"

I stayed silent for a long moment, just staring at the debris beneath my hands. When I finally spoke, my voice came out flat and tired.

"I just turned down an absolute baddie. How do you expect me to react?"

The silence that followed was deafening. I could practically hear the gears turning in everyone's heads as they tried to figure out how to respond to that statement. What could they possibly say? 'Congratulations on your moral victory'? 'Sorry you had to reject a goddess'?

Yeah, I didn't think so either.

I picked myself up slowly, dusting off my hands and knees. When I straightened up and looked ahead with renewed resolve, I turned to look at the survivors.

Hajime had managed to reattach his arm and was slowly getting to his feet, though he was clearly in bad shape—clearly in no condition for another fight. Yue was supporting him, while Shea was sitting on a piece of rubble trying to catch her breath.

"See? I'm not so bad, am I?" I said, my voice carrying a hint of dry amusement despite my exhaustion. "Maybe think about that the next time you see me and decide to start blasting my face again."

The comment was directed at all of them, but my eyes lingered on Hajime specifically. After everything that had just happened—the town destruction, the Apostle fight, me confronting a goddess to protect them—maybe it was time for a little perspective.

There was a lot more that could have been said, but I didn't feel like talking about any of it. Instead, without waiting for a response, I just turned and started walking away.

"Where are you going?" Aiko called after me, her voice still shaky with fear.

I paused without turning around. "I still have a monster horde to take care of."

Behind me, I heard the murmur of voices—probably Hajime's group trying to figure out what to do next, or Aiko trying to comfort her students. I ignored all of it and kept walking.

As I picked my way through the rubble, something caught my eye. A gleam of black metal among the destroyed stones. I stopped and effortlessly cleared away the debris, revealing a familiar object.

My runecard.

The black metal was unmarked despite everything that had happened. I picked it up and slipped it into my pocket, allowing myself a small smile.

At least something had come out of all this trouble.

My money was back and safe.

Right. I wonder if Iu's safe.