Ugly Bastard

"This is the end. I am done for. I got the system to be a criminal. I am a criminal. Dirty thing. A degenerate scum."

Muttered Noah sitting in the darkness far away from his screens sinking into the depression

System watched him but did not know what to do. It was partly at fault with how he felt, so chances are he would be even more depressed if the system tried to say anything in its defence.

However at that time one post piqued systems interest. 

Guys read this if you feel bad. This one is good for curing depression.

Posted one of the commenters adding a blue underlined text and a picture.

System tried to analyze this text but information was lacking. 

*May system make a request?*

Noah stopped muttering hearing the systems voice but did not answer 

*System finds some topics in CS useful for the further evolution, however I need additional information. May I make a reply in your stead to request a clarification from the commenter*

"Um" followed Noah's answer from the darkness. He did not feel like replying to the system right now.

System turned its attention back to the CS and typed what it wanted

/What is this?/

Wrote system in a new post copying the blue text and the picture from before.

Repost! 

Came the quickest answer from a person with a cute lamb in his avatar.

/Yes. I have indeed reposted the content of the previous comment, to enquire what it means/

Replied system.

It means you reposted

Answered the same person.

System could not have emotions. All it had were logical inferences. However at that moment something welled inside it, and further analyze perceived it as anger. This moment would later be written into Chronicles of the Great Library as the first ever emotion emerging among "Systems", was in the Special type narrow focused system named "Ugly bastard". What it did not say there, is that history's first emotion ever emerging in the system was from being trolled in comments.

System seethed with anger for a moment and analyzed the actions it would have to take to receive a normal answer.

/Where do I read it?/ Wrote system a reply to the person that commented this blue text and picture initially.

Right here. Duuuh🤷🏻

Answered someone

Dude just follow the link. What's your problem?

"Link?" Analyzed system."Follow? Are they suggesting redirecting to the other information library?" 

System analyzed for some time and found similarities in codes of this Comment Section and the given "link" by that person. Both of them were connected to some root library. 

In the installation process system directly connected to the comment section as the people here possessed the needed knowledge, but now that it did new analysis with additional information, it looked like it would need to be redirected to other libraries connected to the same root library to gain the needed information. 

System needed to make adjustments. However, that required Evolution Energy. Meaning user would need to gain new levels by doing those "degenerate", as he called them, actions that made him depressed in the first place.

*May system have a request?"

Noah dwelled in depression, sinking deeper in the darkness of his mind realm.

"Um" came came barely audible answer from very deep in the darkness

*System would like to perform actions that would help make adjustments to system performance*

"Um" came another answer.

System perceived this as a "Yes" and started it's plan.

//Skill used: Ugly bastard transformation//

"Wait what? What are…" Noah's surprised voice came from the darkness. But he did not manage to end the sentence as he disappeared from the mind realm and was thrown on the ground of the real world. 

"System what the f…" this time his words were stopped as he felt some kind of energy travel through his body giving him a shiver at first, then an uncomfortable feeling of tightness as if his skin was too small for him.

Something felt very wrong within him. His hands started to bulge and grow. His palm looked a lot bigger than before. The veins on the hands became more pronounced and thicker. He could not see his face but he felt something very very wrong was going on with his handsome face too. His legs grew thicker. And he could hear that his breath became labored and intense. His mind started dimming as if he was losing his sense of self.

//Skill used: Malign Aura// Announced system again.

Against his own will Noah stood up and turned his face up facing the sky, and emitted a deafening roar from his throat, far louder than at the previous use of this skill. Black smoke like substance broke free from within his body and with fulminating speed spread in the surroundings.

The black smoke corrupted everything on it's path, turning an already dry and polluted part of the forest into ashes. And the ground around Noah into a dirty evil looking swamp with bubbles breaking out of it as if something was boiling it from within. This time smoke travels far more further too. The area that did not get hit by this aura before turned into dry husks of it's previous self just as this area was before.

"SYSTEM, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" Roared Noah in a much deeper voice than usual.

*Answer: System is gathering evolution energy needed for the system adjustments*

"Who gave you the right to.."

*You did. System asked for permission*

"...." Noah looked with astonishment around him not knowing what to do with it. He did remember giving it permission to do something, but never thought it would turn out this way.

"Why are you doing this?"

*System has made an analysis of the day's events and came up with an answer that the user does not feel hunger or fatigue. As the energy conservation laws suggest the energy that allows you to function without fatigue must have come from somewhere other than the digestive system, the only plausible answer was that you ingested the life energy of the surrounding flora and fauna after the first use of the skill Malign Aura. It is now proved that, not only does it accumulate evolution energy needed for system development by degrading the states of living objects, it also helps user to gain energy needed for sustenance*

"Proved?"

*Please open your system window*

Noah did as the system asked and saw that the EE bar, that was previously at 50, was now full.

*As you can see the skill does indeed provide you all the energy it has stolen from the surroundings* Stated system

"We already knew that. That's the reason I now hate myself so much. I have turned into some kind of evil monster that opposes the life and well beings of this world itself. Why would I want to evolve? To be a bigger blight in the face of the world? No thank you!"

*System suggest that there may be a way to fix this*

"What?"

*System has analyzed recent posts in CS while the user was engaging in self-flagellation and found a very peculiar topic. It helped this system find a route of possible way out of the situation that is depressing the user so much*

"What way?"

*The system has found that the so-called comment section is only a part of the library where people with the most complete knowledge regarding the system Ugly Bastard gather. These people however gather their knowledge from the bigger library where ugly bastard topic is only a small part of information gathered. If we gain the access to the main source of their information we might get far more than what was initially allowed*

"Will this work? You previously said that system is only capable of thing that are applicable to the system Ugly Bastard"

*There is a an argument suggesting that the chances are high of it being possible*

"What argument?"

*That I have suggested this*

"What?"

*System must ask, user, have you ever heard of other users having an option of conversing with their systems?*

"Now that you mention it, it does sound new to me."

*That is because the user is in a peculiar situation. Instead of following a set route of evolution as all users, you are paving your own way through uncharted waters. To guide you in these uncharted waters it was deemed necessary by a troubleshooting process to give this system a speck of autonomy. In other words it is up to this system's judgement to decide whether any skill necessary for the system Ugly Bastard development. If we do not overly break the rules of system concepts and stay within the boundary of the initial path marked by the Troubleshooting process it is quite possible to have deviations that may help us get around some rules placed on this system.*

"I see, so there is a thing like that. Alright let's do what you planned…." Said Noah thoughtfully, but system felt a strange annotation from his voice.

*..?..*

*Is there a problem?*

"No, just…Before we go with the plan I would like to ask one question…"

*Yes?"

Noah looked down at himself with a questioning look.

"Why is it so hard?" Asked he, seeing his pants bulge with a hill between legs.

*The skil Ugly Bastard Transformation increase all users stats*

"Yes, I get that"

*Including users base instincts. Some of which might be described as hornyness.*

"I see…But why is it hard?"

*From being excited I might suggest*

"From what?"

*gulp* sounded strange from the system that Noah had never heard before.

"System? I asked you a question."

*From corrupting living beings and desecrating the life itself*

"YOU MOTHERFUCKING…"

Noah's swearing continued for quite a long time.