Uchiha Kei: Game Dev in the Shinobi World

The new intel left Uchiha Kei stunned for a moment, a surprised look creeping across his face. "Huh? Stealing hamburgers and cola? What's going on in that old man's head? Why would Madara suddenly decide to steal that stuff? Don't tell me he's been stuck underground so long he's gotten the munchies?"

He was completely confused. Madara's actions made no sense.

Thankfully, White Zetsu had returned. As Kei's most reliable contact, he'd already gotten the full story from the other Zetsu and immediately explained the situation to Kei.

When Kei heard that Madara had awakened his Mangekyō Sharingan again after playing *Escape*, he gasped. Now *that* was something unexpected.

In his past life, there had been countless online debates about whether a transplanted Sharingan could evolve into a Mangekyō. Keyboard warriors had all kinds of plausible theories. But since canon never showed a real example, it all remained speculation.

Now, Madara had proven those believers right—with an over-the-top performance, no less.

Granted, Madara wasn't your average Uchiha. Aside from his raw power, just the fact that he awakened the Rinnegan and mastered Yin-Yang Release made him more like Indra, the clan's progenitor, than any modern Uchiha.

For someone like him to awaken the Mangekyō a second time… maybe it wasn't so strange.

But still… Madara was ancient. Wouldn't awakening it again put insane strain on his body? Could he even handle it?

Kei had doubts. And sure enough, White Zetsu told him Madara's physical condition was in terrible shape—on the verge of death.

Not long ago, Madara had even begun preparing for the worst, looking for a successor.

But then, Black Zetsu discovered something: the system-provided food the Uchiha higher-ups had been consuming had actual effects. When he reported it to Madara, the old man demanded a sample—and got one.

After eating it, Madara's body recovered slightly. He craved more—especially the cola. It was like he'd gotten hooked. He sent out several White Zetsu to steal more, like an addict needing a fix.

He acted like he'd die without cola.

Upon learning this, Kei was speechless. There were no words.

"Cola addiction… really?"

He muttered to himself.

But he understood. The cola probably had some system-enhanced effects that benefited Madara. Taste alone wouldn't drive him to this.

Looking at how Uchiha Setsuna and Uchiha Masanobu reacted to the combo meal, it was clear the system's cola extended life and possibly restored vitality.

For them, it was the combo—cola, burger, fries—that worked best. But for Madara, cola alone seemed to be the MVP.

"So why does cola have a stronger effect on Madara than the other stuff?"

Kei was genuinely curious—and he could find out. All he needed to do was have the Zetsu investigate.

He had worried that Madara or Black Zetsu would notice the defection of White Zetsu to Konoha's side, but so far they hadn't caught on.

This meant something important: even though Black Zetsu could read their memories, if a Zetsu intentionally concealed something, Black Zetsu couldn't access it.

White Zetsu confirmed this. Some defectors had already been possessed by Black Zetsu, yet he noticed nothing. He'd never even considered they might betray him.

To Black Zetsu, White Zetsu were just tools—organic weapons created by his mother, Kaguya. As the one with supreme authority, he saw them as transparent and loyal.

Who suspects a tool of betrayal?

No one. And certainly not Black Zetsu, who blindly believed in anything related to his dear mother.

The only one he half-suspected was Tobi—the oddball of the bunch. He thought Tobi was too loose-lipped and might blab secrets to Madara, so he told him nothing.

Had Black Zetsu actually forced memory scans, he'd have realized many Zetsu had defected. But he never even tried. Why would he exert himself? Memory scans were tiring, and he had no reason to doubt.

So the memories he received were only those the White Zetsu *allowed* him to see.

White Zetsu also gave Kei another intel drop: Black Zetsu was now terrified of going near Konoha. He wouldn't even approach the area, like some beast lurked within the village.

He never explained why. But all missions within Konoha were now left to the White Zetsu.

Clearly, Kei had left a deep psychological scar on Black Zetsu. And since he wasn't into bizarre fetishes like the poop-loving plant-men Zetsu, he was scared stiff of getting hit by the infamous "Colon Taste Bud Jutsu" again.

White Zetsu relayed this happily, even laughing at how clueless Black Zetsu was. He still didn't realize the White Zetsu had awakened self-awareness and now worshipped their true god—Lord Kei, the one who had shown them the divine taste of feces.

Knowing all this, Kei finally relaxed. Sure, there was some risk of discovery—but it was minimal now.

So he ordered White Zetsu to continue as planned. Play dumb, act innocent, and keep recruiting more Zetsu.

Kei didn't mind the slow pace. If they brought in seven or eight new Zetsu every few days, they'd have thousands by year's end.

Once they hit critical mass, the converted Zetsu could turn on the rest, completely isolating Madara and Black Zetsu.

He could already imagine the look on their faces.

But seriously—was the "Colon Taste Bud Jutsu" trauma *really* that bad? Was Black Zetsu *that* scared of it?

Kei was puzzled. For someone like Black Zetsu, fear seemed out of character. He could endure pain—wasn't that part of the job?

Maybe… there was another reason.

Kei began speculating, using his knowledge of the original story.

Then it hit him.

"Wait… could it be… Black Zetsu's scared that Kaguya might find out he tasted poop?"

Considering Kaguya's naive, airheaded personality—and her unexpected fondness for things like Naruto's Reverse Harem Jutsu—Kei's theory didn't seem far-fetched.

The Colon Taste Bud Jutsu was low-damage, high-humiliation, and maximum disgust.

If Kaguya ever found out… she might think Black Zetsu was gross. He couldn't risk that. So now, he stayed as far from Konoha as possible, terrified of encountering Kei again.

Which led to a devilish thought—

"Should I just walk up to him and say: 'Black Zetsu, you wouldn't want your mom to find out you ate poop, would you?'"

Whew. That's some peak East Asian flavor.

What? Naruto *is* an Eastern-style setting?

Then no problem!

Might be worth trying next time they cross paths. Nothing to lose.

With that decided, Kei dismissed the Zetsu and handed them a few combo meals to pretend they had "stolen." He also sent a message for Black Zetsu and Madara.

The message? Under Tsunade's supervision, Konoha was secretly constructing a cola factory. Soon, they'd be able to mass-produce the stuff.

Yes, this was intentional. Kei *wanted* Madara to hear it.

Why? Because Madara's craving for cola now resembled an addict's obsession. And if he didn't get more soon, who knows what genius plan he might hatch in desperation?

Kei couldn't take that risk. Madara wasn't far from Konoha—he lived nearby. And now he had Mangekyō Sharingan again.

With it, Madara could summon a Perfect Susanoo. At that power level, the 20 kilometers between the Naka Shrine and Konoha meant nothing. He could slice the village from afar.

Konoha couldn't handle Madara's rampage.

So Kei chose to appease him. Give him hope. Keep him calm.

Besides, Madara staying alive benefited Kei too. The old man's drop rate for Golden Spirit was way higher than anyone else's. As long as he played games, Kei would never run short.

In short: keeping Madara well-supplied with cola was a win-win.