Two and Half Men - Reborn as Jake Harper

Chapter 106 

We all laughed after giving Ross the most deadpan looks possible.

"Seriously, man?" said Chandler, shaking his head.

Ross shrugged innocently. "It was a legitimate question!"

"How could you not know it was Jake?" asked Monica, incredulous.

"How would I know?" Ross asked back, frowning.

"Barbados?" said Phoebe, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh," Ross muttered as realization hit him. "I was a little drunk," he added, trying to defend himself.

"Yeah, because if you were too drunk, there would've been a wedding," I said with a grin.

Everyone burst out laughing (except Judith and Laura, who just smiled), and Ross, who shot me a glare.

Rachel laughed too, but after a moment, she exclaimed, "Heyy!!"

The laughter only grew louder, filling the balcony with warmth and teasing.

"Now we need to talk about their wedding," said Chandler, grinning.

"Your mother and your girl will like the story," he added, nodding toward Judith and Laura.

"There's not much to talk about," Rachel said, waving her hand as if it were a normal thing. "Ross and I were drunk and got married in Vegas."

Laura and Judith both laughed at how casually Rachel said it.

"Jake was there making fun of us the next day," Rachel added, chuckling.

We all chuckled, until Mom turned to me with a raised eyebrow and a smile that wasn't really a smile.

"Did you go to Vegas, young man?" she asked sweetly—too sweetly.

Everyone around went "Uuuu" teasingly.

I turned slowly to Judith. "Would you believe if I said no?"

Judith shook her head with an amused smile.

"It's not a big deal. I couldn't enter the strip, nor could I bet in the casinos. Believe me, Uncle Charlie tried, even put a fake mustache on me," I said, making everyone burst into laughter.

"So, for me, it was just a normal city—a very normal shiny city."

"So you tried to enter the strip?" asked Laura, teasing.

There was another loud "Uuuu" from everyone.

I lifted my hands innocently. "I mean, bet in the casinos!"

We all laughed again. Laura smiled, knowing I was telling the truth.

Ross then said, "Since we're already talking about weddings and such... we need to tell them about Chandler."

We turned to him curiously.

"When he and Monica had their first fight," Ross continued with a grin, "Chandler showed up apologizing—and ended up proposing to Monica."

Chandler covered his face with one hand as everyone burst out laughing again.

"That was embarrassing," said Phoebe, shaking her head.

Laura, Judith, and I winced a little in sympathy.

Chandler, indignantly, said, "I asked for your help too!"

"That's your fault, Chandler. You asked Ross for advice. Obviously, he was going to suggest marriage," I said, grinning.

"Because that's his answer for everything!" added Rachel, pointing at Ross.

Both Rachel and I gave each other a high-five as everyone burst out laughing again.

After a moment, Rachel clarified, "I'm not married to Ross anymore. We divorced."

"Oh-oh, that's your thing," said Phoebe suddenly to Ross.

"What?" asked Ross, confused.

"Your thing. Your thing. Y'know? You're the guy who gets divorced," Phoebe said.

"Oh yeah!" everyone else chimed in.

"No-no, that's—that's not my thing! I do not love getting divorced!" Ross protested.

"Yes, you do!" said Phoebe, pointing at him. "This is your third divorce! You love divorce so much you're probably gonna marry it! Then it won't work out and you're gonna have to divorce it, divorcing guy." She paused and then added, giggling, "I'm so drunk."

"Oh, I got one," I said, but stopped myself.

"Say it!" urged Rachel.

"Nah, it's even meaner than Phoebe's one," I said.

"Do it," incited Chandler

I said, "I would say, considering the past weddings, that Ross and Rachel's marriage was actually a success. I mean, the bride was too drunk to run away, and the groom got the bride's name right—after all, he just had to repeat the same name as last time."

I paused and added with a smirk, "And... it was also a financial success. It was in Vegas, they didn't need to pay for the party. Ross didn't even pay for a ring..."

Everyone burst out laughing, even Ross.

After a moment, Rachel turned to me, still smiling, and said, "Yeah, that was a little mean"

Before we could say anything else, the doorbell rang. One of the maids quickly went to answer it. A few moments later, Joey and Uncle Charlie walked in—each with a twin girl on his arm, making their entrance even more lively.

I murmured under my breath, "How have those two not knocked up some girl yet?"

That earned a muffled laugh from Rachel and a reproachful glare from mom.

---

The next morning, I was sitting at the kitchen island, quietly having breakfast. The early sunlight streamed through the large windows. I had a plate of scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast in front of me, along with a big glass of orange juice.

A few minutes later, Rachel stumbled into the kitchen, clearly battling a huge hangover. Her hair was messy and she walked like every step was a challenge.

"Morning..." she mumbled, her voice hoarse.

Rachel dropped into the chair across from me with a heavy sigh, resting her head on the table. "I am never drinking again," she groaned.

I took another bite of toast and muttered, just loud enough for her to hear, "You said that after Barbados too. And in Vegas..."

Rachel just grunted without lifting her head, making me chuckle softly.

I slid a small packet of aspirin and ibuprofen toward her and motioned for one of the maids to bring a special juice blend—something for mornings like this.

Rachel peeked, accepted the pills gratefully, and downed them with a small grimace.

After a few minutes, and a few careful sips of the revitalizing juice, she started looking a little more alive.

Rachel then said, "You really know how to take care of this stuff."

I smiled and replied, "I lived for about a year and a half at Uncle Charlie's house (until now). One thing I definitely learned well was how to cure a hangover."

Rachel gave a small chuckle.

Omake:

"...And that day was my Laugh Tail. Jake D. Harper (Jacob David Harper)."

Nico Robin finished reading, then looked up. "That's it?!" she said, incredulously, while her eyes were turning in deadfish eyes

"Rosss!!" Sanji screamed, biting his shirt. "He married three girls!" (One inferno can be others' dreams.)

"This Jake seems suuuuper!!" screamed Franky, doing his famous pose.

"He does seem good!" agreed Nami, with a berry in her eyes.

"Shishishi"

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