Twinned Destinies: A Cultivation Progression Fantasy

She still wasn't sure how she felt about Marcus. On the one hand, he tried to kill Jin, and she hated him for it. She still did, but he didn't seem like an awful person. If he hadn't come, they would have all died, and he'd personally saved Darius too. So, she kind of loved him for it. It bothered her that she'd never been very good at feeling halfway about someone. She didn't really get it. As far as she was concerned, she either loved someone or hated them; she felt uncomfortable feeling both at once.

If Marcus, sensed her unease, he didn't show it. He went on sipping his tea calmly, then set it down.

They regarded each other in silence.

"I am sorry it happened like this,” he began.

She just nodded. "What do you want?"

"To speak. That is all. There's much to say, apologies to make, but I sense you wouldn't want them, and they wouldn't help regardless. Perhaps we can start here. My name is Marcus. I am the Lord of Demons. I am happy you're here. I am… not happy about how this came to be.”

Ruyi said nothing.

"There is another reason I've asked you here, I must confess. It's on behalf of someone else."

"Who?"

He slid a letter across the table, and she gasped. All she saw was its address, but she knew her brother's handwriting anywhere. Trembling, she grabbed it.

Dear Rue,

This is my twelfth time trying to write this letter, so I’ll just say what I mean and be done with it.

I miss you. Mother misses you too, and so does father, even if he won’t say it. We love you. If you need anything, if you want anything, please, please ask. I worry about you.

I know you must be feeling lonely. I want you to remember that there will always be people who love you, who are thinking of you. Sometimes you forget. When you do, I want you to remember this letter and know that even when it feels like the world is against you, know there will always be someone rooting for you.

They made me emperor, and there are some problems I need to fix. Once I do, once it's safe, I promise you there will be a home for you here. One day we'll be back at the old Manor, eating meat buns around the dinner table like we used to, as a family.

I believe in you. We all do.

With love,

Jin

It was so simple, but it was Jin. He knew her better than anyone; he knew exactly what she needed to hear. Sometimes she really did forget. She was tearing up a little bit. She wanted to say she missed him too, so much, that she thought of him every night, and of mother and father. She looked up.

"Can I write him back?"

Marcus had paper and a quill ready. She started scribbling.

Jin’s letter had clearly been well thought out; it was simple and said exactly what he meant. Ruyi just started scribbling and didn't stop; she poured everything out of her. It took up a page, then two, then three. On and on, and it was an hour before she finished. She'd written a small booklet by then. She felt a little exhausted, but in a good way, like she'd written all the bad feelings out of her.

Marcus took the letters when she was done and wrapped them gently. "I'll see them safely to your brother."

"Why’d he write to you?"

"To ask about you," said Marcus. "He went to great lengths. He cares a lot about you."

"I know," said Ruyi, sniffling. She felt like she was dissolving in a warm pool of feeling. Then she remembered.

"You tried to kill him."

"Yes," said Marcus, sadly. He let that sit for a breath.

"He is fated to kill me, and I have enough hubris to believe that if he manages it, the realm would be far worse off. If I was not here, Octavius would have taken the Lord's scepter months ago and wielded it to cross the mountains and conquer all mankind. Now Lucius is rising in dominance, gathering strength, and you have seen a small part of the destruction of which he is capable. I am trying to keep a kettle at a low boil, you see.”

A pause.

“But I am not really answering your question, am I?” he sighed. “Yes, I did try to kill your brother. Those in my position—that is, rulers—have a habit of justifying their atrocities. Indeed I have been justifying myself up until now. It isn’t so complicated, is it? Your brother is a good man, and he did not deserve to die, and I tried to kill him. That is not forgivable, nor is it something I expect forgiveness for."

Ruyi thought for a few breaths. "Would you try it again?"

"Yes," said Marcus, with hardly any hesitation. "I would. And I am ashamed, but I cannot apologize for it.”

Ruyi almost respected him for saying it to her face. Almost.

"You may rest at ease," he said. "I doubt I will have that opportunity anytime soon. Your brother marches west as we speak. The Li, Zhu, and Huo clans are sworn to him. But Duke Qin leads the western territories against him. They marshal their armies for war."

"Will he be OK?"

"They outmatch your brother’s numbers," Marcus allowed, "but he has the backing of the army. In the end, I expect he will win through."

“…so, what am I then?" she said. "Your prisoner?"

"Oh heavens! No, no. Perhaps we are fated to be enemies, but that does not mean we must be animals to one another. This coming from a man who has tried to poison a boy, I know."

He sighed. "You are free to leave whenever you wish."

"Where will I go?"

He didn't seem to have an answer for her. At last, he said, "You are also free to stay as long as you like. It would be my pleasure to have you."

"You don't want anything from me?"

"No," said Marcus.

"Everyone wants something from me," she said. And why wouldn't they? She was Ruyi Yang. Everyone knew who she was. Everyone wanted her; they know what she could do.

Marcus hesitated, then gently, like a kindly grandfather, said, “Ruyi, you are a very bright young lady, but you are just one bright young lady. My concerns are at the level of the realm. Truly, you need give me nothing. Nothing you could do now will change things. Rest. That is enough."

“…Are you saying I'm not that important?” She was stunned. No one had ever told her that before.

“I am saying,” Marcus said slowly, carefully, “that it is possible to show kindness for the sake of kindness. Is that truly so hard to believe?"

"Yes." It wasn't anything personal; she wanted to believe him. He seemed like someone with a good heart. But that just wasn't how the world worked; she’d learned it over and over.

Her answer seemed to make him quite sad.

***

There was a funeral for the dead praetorianus. No speeches. They burned the bodies, returned them to the earth. Most were already most of the way there. They were so badly charred Ruyi couldn't even recognize her friends anymore.

The rest of the tribe was scattered outside the palace proper, in the spread of little houses ringing its premises. She found what was left of them. Folk wouldn't look at each other; they moved like they were wandering. Nobody was in a hurry to do anything; nobody seemed to know what to do. They moved sluggishly, sleepily.

She heard Livia was here. She came because she was worried—Livia had holed up in her hut and she wouldn't come out. The only time she did was for her mother's funeral. Ruyi wanted to help, but she wasn't sure how. When she tried asking Livia to let her in, for once, Livia wouldn't see her. Livia wouldn't even answer her. It was like there was nobody there.

***

Ruyi spent the rest of that week wandering the palace. She spoke a lot with Darius and went to visit Aelia; her friend seemed fragile but was doing much better. Aelia was much quieter now and spent a lot of her day sleeping, but she said she liked it when Ruyi visited her. At first, Ruyi brought her wood carvings—ones you could still kind of see in your mind if you felt their shape—but Aelia said it just wasn't the same. The next day, Ruyi came with clay, and they spent the afternoon making noses. Ruyi tried putting hers on to make Aelia smile. Then she remembered. As she set it down, feeling guilty, she hoped Aelia didn’t notice.

Rufus was okay; he was one of the ones who had been sent to protect the tribe as it fled, and he blamed himself—he seemed to think he should have died with them. But otherwise, he was okay.

The next time Ruyi visited Livia, Livia let her in.

They didn’t speak at all of what happened. They didn’t speak about Livia at all; how she was doing, what she was feeling—Livia seemed totally uninterested in talking about it. Instead, she asked about how Ruyi was liking life here. She even laughed a little when Ruyi told her about getting lost in one of the labyrinth-like lower levels—a little laugh, barely there, but it was there. Ruyi hugged her and left, and could only hope she’d be okay.

Darius said Sabina would be fine. Another week passed, and she still hadn’t come out. Then another.

Darius still didn’t think it’d be a good idea for Ruyi to visit. But Ruyi couldn’t sleep anymore, so she asked Marcus to let her into the dungeons. He looked hesitant, but made no comment. He allowed it.