Troubled Youth

The worst thing about loneliness isn't being alone. You can become very comfortable being by yourself. No, it's more terrible to be surrounded by people and still feel you're isolated from everyone around you. That lack of connection does something to you. Or rather than lack of, that denial of.  

"Heard the new girl's been stalking you lately, Shuu. You need me to talk to her or what?" 

That said, when you have those that accept you when everyone else rejects you, you come to find that person unbearably precious.  For me, that person was Fujiwara Hide. At a tall 6'3 with a shock of dirty blonde hair and star-shaped sunglasses he wore for an abysmal sense of fashion, he was a funny guy.

There was something about Hide. He saw you. He understood you in exactly the way you wanted to be understood and asked nothing more of you than what you were willing to give. It was a comfort unlike any else, that. 

In my life, so many people proved they were trash time and time again. A lot of times, I had hoped that I was wrong. I rarely was. Hide? He had also proved who he was to me, but unlike others, he was a guy worthy of my trust and friendship. 

He was not an overly nice sort of person. He could be talkative and pleasant enough, but when talks got serious he would not take things lightly and only ever believed what he could verify for himself. Its was he did with me when those rumors first started to spread, and since then he's become my most ardent supporter. 

You didn't need a hundred friends. You just need one who's willing to stay at your side even when it seems like no one else will. Hide, for me, is that person. 

At his question during the start of the fourth period, I waved him off. "Ignore her. I do."

He yawned, replying, "You realize people are thinking she's yet another Sachiko, right?" Hide also wasn't one for formalities. He rarely used honorifics for anyone. Maybe that was a habit he picked up from me, though. 

The Sachiko he mentioned was Sakurai Sachiko, a third-year senior who I had an amicable relationship with last year. She was another person I thought might be good people, but we hadn't interacted much for me to be sure. The fact she also hung out with the local delinquents due to her own ne'er-do-well attitude may have also been a factor in why she wasn't immediately put off by rumors of my supposed misdeeds.

In any case, she'd invited me for a drink one night. I made the mistake of accepting and getting piss drunk. The location was a local karaoke bar ran by her family. After, she found out she'd become pregnant. 

She had a boyfriend at the time, but like with Asami the man was also scum. As soon as he found out, she knew he'd bail. Maybe she already knew she was pregnant by the time she invited me, though, as I always suspected, and that's why she turned to me and claimed I was the kid's father. She knew her boyfriend was that kind of flake and so wanted me to be the father instead. 

But in spite of her tears i was absolutely sure I never touched her. I might have been piss drunk, but that didn't mean I was going to have sex with anyone just because of that. In the first place, sex lost meaning for me a long time ago. 

The orgasm was pleasurable, sure, but I could live my entire life without ever experiencing it again. So there was no way I'd want it when drunk off my ass. 

She's made the accusation public, too, which just made things so much worse. Everyone who heard that believed her. My father, for one. He stopped beating me the first time I fought back and threatened I'd kill him if he ever struck me again, but that didn't stop him from sneering at me and saying, "Goddamn man-whore." Apparently, I was trash who only ever caused them trouble. Or so he said. 

Only Hitomi got physical with me. A single slap to the face. That's all it was, but the look of fucking betrayal in her eyes....the sheer fact she had the nerve to feel wronged after everything she'd done to me... it nearly drove me over the edge. I hated her more in that moment than I ever had. 

Luckily, Sachiko's family wasn't as bad as her. They had video evidence of that night and came forward with it, proving I was innocent.

As for what happened to Sachiko after that...I honestly doubt anyone else knew besides her own family knew, but the knowledge haunted me every day. 

"There's no way she'd become a second Sachiko," I replied and forced myself to move away from such thoughts. Something so tragic and morbid was wrong for the soul.

Perhaps noticing my change in mood, he let the matter drop and changed the topic. "Well, that's good." He started. "Anyway, so can you cover my shift at work tomorrow? I'll treat you later." He clapped his hands together and gave a hopeful, apologetic grin.

I gave him a raised brow. "That's the fifth time this month. You're really going to get fired at this rate."

The youth's smile turned victorious. "So it's a yes? Great!" 

I wanted to slap him. "Did you not hear what I said?"

"I did...but I have my priorities." He dismissed me. "Things with Ruri are really taking off. Honestly, I might quit soon myself." He admitted. "Working at a place like that is great if you're single, but it's a little...you know." Hide trailed off. He knew my circumstances and was very careful with his choice of words 

I didn't blame him at all. He only took the job to back me up anyway. An act of solidarity, so to speak. He hated it there, but he stuck around because he didn't want me being the only one to "demean" myself. Or whatever he might've thought. 

He was a good friend, so he'd never say it to my face unless he thought i needed it. But he had his opinions and thought I could do way better. 

Thing is, I wasn't in a position to do better. I was still underage, and the kinds of jobs that paid as well as the place we currently worked at wouldn't hire me. For now my options were limited, but I needed the money. I was saving up all I could.

I had to. That deadbeat father of mine would never help me. And I'd sooner gut myself before I ever asked my mother for a single goddamn thing. I was already a Junior, after all. I had to think about my future and Universities weren't cheap

"It's fine. I get it," I assured him. "I'm glad everything is going well between you guys." 

If ever there was a relationship that I hoped would work out, it was with those two. Ruri wasn't an easy woman to get along with, being so headstrong. But she's the only one I've ever known to not look at me like she wanted to eat me, at least, and she was very loyal. Same as Hide. 

Well, maybe that first thing wasn't entirely true. As a matter of fact when the guy first introduced us her first words were, "You'd look better without clothes on." Which I found hilarious due to how direct she was with it. And also because Hide had added, "Back off, slut, he's mine." 

And slid an arm over my shoulder possessively with an upturned nose. 

I loved those two. 

"Thanks, man I'll make it up to you, promise!" He gave a thumbs up. "Next weekend, you and me. All-you-can eat."

"I'm going to bankrupt you," I told him flatly. His face paled instantly, but he feigned nonchalance.

"Feel free to try, my friend." He cleared his throat. "By the way, here" He presented a small notebook. 

"Ah, right. Thanks." 

Hide was a good student, better than me. Sometimes he lent me his notes. This one was full of English and Maths. I was studying them rather extensively these days. They say that being fluent in the subjects was a requirement for a lot of high-paying jobs, and I could believe it 

Maybe Chinese or Korean. French? But I shelved the idea for now. English was a fucky language enough on its own. And just reading it made my brain hurt sometimes. 

Same with math, though I was a lot better at it comparatively. Once I was done with those I would probably start learning to code. It was a daunting task, that, but they widened my options even more.

I actually planned to take a course for that in University. Perhaps Software Engineering or CyberSecurity. Getting a degree in one of those might be the best move I could make. Everyone wanted an office job, but if I could find something I could do from home to keep an eye on Haru, that'd be best.

"No prob--"

"Fujiwara," A cold voice interrupted. Sometime during their conversation, Ryoko had entered the room. "What did I tell you about coming here? Go to your own class. Now."

Hide froze, then offered a shaky smile, "Ah, Ryoko-sensei..lovely as ever I see. Say, is that a new hairpin? It really suits you! Did you get a boyfriend, or--?"

"Now!" She spoke with all the warmth of a glacier. 

The boy saluted, "Right away, ma'am!" And he scurried off. 

The woman tsked. "Damn brat. Making me raise my voice all the time." She turned to me. "And you! Talk to her already!" She jerked a thumb to the doorway, where Asami was peeping into the classroom. Ryoko dipped her voice and leaned in close. "This is getting ridiculous, just reject her already. Either you make her cry, or I will. And I guarantee she won't get out without several psychological traumas if I do it."

I was neither happy nor sad to hear that. "By all means. You have my blessing."

She furrowed her brows. "Just get her to stop coming here. Or no more smokes!" She whispered harshly.

"You drive a hard bargain, dearest Ryoko," I told her. "But alright."

"Call me sensei, dang it."

I only snorted in response and she was left extremely irritated for the rest of the hour. I was called up to the board no less than ten times. 

This is abuse of power, surely.