Travis's Journey Through the Apocalypse

Chapter 1

Earthquake

Yeah, well, that day sucked balls. I don't know if I cant take this job much longer. I’m finally off, but It’s 2 A.M., and the fucking bus I need doesn’t even run anymore. Now I have to either waste my money on a goddamn Uber or walk my ass home. Well, I need to eat, so I guess I’m fucking walking. Now if I have to walk home, I’m gonna pick the straightest fucking road.

I can put my headphones in and keep it pushing. I was about halfway home, right in the middle of a great song. The streetlights were on, it was a chilly Oakland night, and the clouds were hiding all the stars. The wind had started burning my face, and my cheeks were really feeling it. I had to zip my jacket up and put my hood up to keep warm. Now, I’m not the jumpy sort, but when the ground starts shaking in California, that means there’s an earthquake. If it’s a big one, you better find some cover.

I was in the middle of the street, headphones in, walking, when the ground started shaking, I thought to myself. Oh fuck! It’s okay, Travis, it’s an earthquake. It’s okay, it’s gonna be okay, I thought to myself. But it still didn’t stop after 30 seconds. The sound of metal twisting, stones cracking, and bricks crumbling filled my ears. All I could think was, I’m so fucked. As everyone knows, California had a big earthquake about a hundred years ago. We all knew the big one was coming.

All the scientists said it was coming, but yeah, you know, you don’t think about shit like that. I tried to run, but the ground was like Jell-O. I made it five steps before I went down. Damn near broke my wrist when I fell. As I shakily got back to my feet, a car came out of nowhere and sideswiped me. He even had the audacity to tell me to get the fuck out of the road. I couldn’t believe it! I watched the car drive away. He got under an overpass, and the damn thing fell right on top of the car. Holy shit! Instant karma asshole! The next thing I knew, there was a sound of ripping metal, then nothing but black.

When I woke up, I was still in the middle of the street, and there was shit all around me. A cart from the grocery store, a metal drum, multiple bikes, and a whole bunch of other crap. It looked like a streetlight ripped out of the ground and threw a bunch of shit into the road. I don’t know what actually knocked me out, but my head hurt like a son of a bitch, and when I tried to stand up, I instantly felt nauseous. I also cut my palm a little trying to do so, which hurt.

There were little bits of glass, metal, and other sharp shit all over the ground. Yeah, I’m not gonna try standing for a little bit and plopped back onto my ass. After checking that I was more or less okay, I had a few cuts and a couple of bruises, but nothing too bad. I looked around, and it was like the world had exploded. Almost nothing was left untouched.

For some reason, at that moment, I thought about my parents, even if they were scheming fucking douchebag thieves. I don’t care if it’s legal theft, but when you know what you’re doing is a goddamn pyramid scheme, you’re fucking evil. Me and my parents never saw eye to eye on right and wrong, but fuck, why were they all I could think about? They both lived in California, but it’s not like I had talked to them in years. I let my thoughts of them end with, I hope they survived the earthquake, but I’d probably never know, and I had to be okay with that.

Once I had given myself a few minutes to get my shit together, I got back to my feet slowly, making sure my legs could support me. I thought about my next steps. What now? Well, my phone is fucked, so, no service. Of course, it took the damn cell towers out. First things first, how long was I out? Hell, I’ve definitely been out for hours. I mean, it’s daytime. There was so much fucking smoke, and sirens were blasting in the distance.

The air was hot and hurt to breathe. The sky was a burnt orange color mixed with thick black clouds of smoke. The thick, black smoke smelled like burning tires and natural gas. I started coughing. I thought about where I was and made a few quick decisions. My apartment was probably fucked. There was no way my place had made it. That building was shit, and I always worried that if we got a bad storm, the building was going down. This level of destruction, my place, didn’t stand a chance. That got me thinking about Shannon, my neighbor, and her family.

That almost had me headed home, but then I thought about what I would do. What I might find? If they were hurt, who was I kidding? They were most likely dead, and then what? Seeing all the damage around me, there was no chance. I could see it. I would go there, digging through the rubble, to end up just finding their bodies or, more realistically, not finding them at all. I don’t think I can deal with that right now. I had to find out what was going on. Were the relief efforts being set up? My watch was busted, and my phone had to have service to tell me the time, so no luck there.

I thought about where I was in relation to the hospital, took my best guess of the hospital’s direction, and started walking. I didn’t see many people on the street, but those I did see seemed worse off than me. I thought about trying to help, but with how fucked up everything was, I decided to prioritize myself for now.

After about 20 minutes, I found a family. There were three of them. I stopped because they looked like they were lost. They said their grandmother and uncle had been crushed inside the house. I realized that the earthquake had hit in the middle of the night, and these were probably some of the lucky ones who weren’t inside when it hit. The family had called emergency services but hadn’t been able to speak to anyone, so they were just waiting there.

No one had come, and with how crazy shit was, I doubted someone would. Fuck, this place was basically destroyed. I told them as much. The daughter started crying, and the mother and father’s eyes became wet with tears about to fall. I felt bad. I told them they could come with me if they wanted, but I didn’t have a real plan. I told them I was going to try and find a hospital or at least someplace where people would be gathering, but they declined. They said they’d wait in hopes somebody would come. I waved goodbye and started walking. There’s nothing you can do when people won’t get out of their own way. Hell, they were probably in shock. Hell, I was probably in shock.

I was just around the corner from the hospital, maybe a couple of blocks away still, and I turned the corner and instantly froze. I threw myself back around the corner. My heart was pounding. Sweat was building on my brow. That was a wolf and not just a regular old wolf. That was a huge wolf. Oh, fuck me. That thing was the size of a small car. Now I’ve never been around wolves, but that thing looks way too fucking big.

I peeked my head around the corner to get another look, to make sure I wasn’t going fucking crazy. Yeah, it was a huge wolf. Its back was as high as the cars around it. It had dark gray fur. I couldn’t see its face, thank fuck it was facing away from me. Bones were sticking out of its back through its skin as if spines were growing from its vertebra. Then, as I looked closer, I could see that there was green puss dripping from the puncture wounds on its back, where the bones pushed through. I pulled myself back around the corner. Fuck that! Fuck, that! I’m out!

So I turned and booked it. I mean, full tunnel vision, as fast as I fucking could. I must have run for five blocks before I found a parking garage. I ran inside and hid behind a wall. My heart was pounding. My chest was rising and falling faster than it ever had. I wasn’t an athlete. I smoke some weed here and there, maybe a lot, but fuck! I didn’t think I’d be running for my life anytime soon.

Guess that was my mistake. I don’t think it saw or smelled me, but my mind was having problems dealing with what I just saw. I mean, I’ve played some Magic in my day, and that thing looks straight out of an undead deck, but that was impossible! This is fucking real life, and that shit is all pretend, fucking make-believe stories and crap. You know what, maybe I’m dreaming, or maybe I’m tripping and dreaming like maybe somebody put something in my drink, and now I’m fucking losing it. That didn’t seem true, but I was grabbing at straws here, people!

After I caught my breath, I decided I couldn’t live behind this wall. This couldn’t become my new home. I couldn’t stay here forever. I had to get up. I had to walk. I had to move. I was convincing myself more than anything. I managed to make myself get up and peek over the wall. When the coast was clear, about 10 minutes later, I made my way opposite the hospital. My mind kept trying to rationalize what I had seen, and I couldn’t seem to find an explanation, so I had to let it go. I couldn’t drive myself crazy. I was pretty sure I was going crazy anyway.

As I was walking, I noticed that every so often on the street corners, there was an odd-looking sign. I walked up to one and took a closer look. The sign’s posts were made of wood. They were stabbed into the concrete of the sidewalk as if they’d been there forever. The sign itself was carved into a piece of wood. It was an amazingly intricate design. It kind of resembled a Celtic knot. It was all raised and had what looked like gold leaf on the tops of the design. As I studied the design, a disembodied voice rang out from nowhere and said,

“Welcome newly integrated species. Your world has been integrated into the greater system. The celestial council has chosen your Galaxy. You are welcomed into the greater world. We hope your experience during the integration so far has not been too intrusive to your lives. The integration of Mana and subsequent boosting of your planet’s natural aura may be rather tumultuous. Still, we see this as a minor cost to being allowed access to the greater system. Some of you may have noticed you now possess a stat sheet. By saying the word “Stat Sheet,” you will see a summary of your abilities and level.

This will expand as you grow and unlock new aspects of your stat sheet. You can also call forth a brief visual representation of your current Health, Mana, and Stamina Levels by saying “Status Check.” These changes are all thanks to the increased Mana density on your planet. Your integration has been paid for by the Slag Company. We are here, required by celestial council law, to inform you that every citizen living within the Milky Way Galaxy is hereby under indentured service to the Slag Company.

For no less than 200 years, or till the debt of 3 million celestial credits has been paid to the Slag Company per indentured. You will notice at the bottom of your stat sheet there’s a tab that says, “Indentured Contract.” If you focus on that tab, you may see the details of your indenture. Now that you’ve become familiar with and aware of the system and the celestial council, we provide this one warning,

“The Slag has decided that your planet has been coordinated for potential gladiatorial combat prospects and elemental mining. Therefore, they have populated your planet with low-level beasts, hoping that some will rise, but most will probably fall. Anyways, that’s about it. Happy integration, and yeah, good luck! That’s a stat too. Hopefully, yours is high. Don’t die… too fast.”

What the actual fuck is this? Can Ayahuasca make you fucking see…maybe? Hell, there’s all these chemical drugs now, but not like I kick it with anyone that does shit like that. Maybe someone at work…like a hazing? Shit, this is all too real. Maybe a slap on the cheek will help? Nope, that fucking hurt. All right, let’s try this “Stat Sheet.”

Stat Sheet:

Travis Mullins

Level: 1

Race: Human

Strength: 11

Dexterity: 10

Intelligence: 14

Wisdom: 12

Constitution: 10

Luck: 9

That’s it? What the fuck! I’m supposed to just know what 11 Strength is. Like, can I break concrete with my fist? I turned to the wall next to me, started whining back as if to punch it, and caught myself. What the fuck am I doing? I’m gonna punch a wall to see if I don’t break my hand. What the fuck? All right, got to calm down. Okay, I have stats. I’m a level 1 Human with stats. Oh, my brain is hurting, but honestly, if the world wasn’t a total shit show right now, I’d be pretty juiced.

How do I get more strength, and does wisdom and intelligence help you cast spells? Like, is there freakin’ magic? Is magic a fucking thing? That’s awesome! Well, shit, it must be a thing for shit to go like this. No way aliens just pop down, terraform a planet, and then disappear. I mean, who am I to tell aliens anything? Like, what they can and can’t do, hell.

Okay, well, this kind of changes things. Probably not gonna be any working hospitals. I think I’m more likely to find a freakin’ healer or maybe a health potion now. That made me laugh. I think I needed that. On a more serious note, Travis, I need to think about shelter, water, and food. I think that’s the correct order of stuff to do when shit hits the fan. I’ll worry about all this level shit once I’m safe. Maybe I can hunker down somewhere till the government has things more in hand. I could totally see people going crazy in times like these.

I looked around. All the buildings were burnt out, and the ones that weren’t wholly demolished looked like OSHA would have a fit about safety regulations. I would see people occasionally, but they were mainly focused on looting or trying to move without drawing attention to themselves. I looked over at a family as I was walking, and they froze when they saw me looking. Their eyes were wide with fear, and when they saw I wasn’t going to fuck with them, they started moving again. I wondered how many people had stopped to inspect the signs. The design of the signs worked like a QR code for your brain. It was an off-putting sensation but a good way to disseminate information. I had to give it to them on that front.

I decided to walk a little further out from downtown. I passed some firefighters putting a house fire out, but before the fire was out, they got a call, packed up as fast as they could, and took off, leaving the house burning as they drove away. After an hour of walking, I saw fewer and fewer people out and about, and the occasional dead person was lying in the street, but I just told myself they were sleeping and kept pushing.

I didn’t have the mental capacity to deal with dead people right now. I finally found a couple of buildings that hadn’t fallen apart entirely. One house, the front half had slid forward, but the back had stayed where it was, like they were going to move the house, so they cut it in half. Then the front half of the house fell, and they just said, fuck, we tried and just left it there. The house was an old Victorian-looking two-story with what must have been a lovely garden until the earthquake or well system integration hit. The house was split down the middle, so I moved towards the split and made my way inside.

Once inside, I was standing in what once had been the downstairs living room. The first thing I noticed was the mess that was inside the house. The walls looked like Swiss cheese, and I couldn’t see a single piece of bare floor. Half the second floor looked like it made it without too much damage. There was a staircase leading to it that looked like I could climb.

Before exploring the upper levels, I looked around the living room for, honestly, I didn’t know. Maybe there was a weapon or something, anything I could use. It was also nice to distract myself with something monotonous, even if only for a moment. The monotony was broken when I lifted a piece of fallen drywall and found an arm. The arm looked to be from a child as well. It took a second for my brain to catch up with my eyes.

The arm was twisted and covered in blood. I followed the arm till it disappeared beneath another piece of drywall. When I picked that up, everything seemed to click. I dropped the drywall, turned, and threw up. That was the first dead body I had ever seen. I’d seen dead people on TV, in movies, and in video games, but this was different.

I thought it would take longer for the body to smell… like that almost sweet rotting garbage smell, but even worse…I guess not. The smell was terrible. It hit you in the back of the throat, and that’s what really made me sick. The blood everywhere and the twisted, broken bones tearing through flesh definitely were contributing factors. Once I had calmed myself down, I left the house immediately.

As I was making my way through the once-grand garden on my way out, I saw something moving in the street. I stopped moving, tucked myself behind a fallen tree, and then crouch-walked to a spot with a better view of the street. As I looked out at the street, I could see a small group of people, who looked like a family, quietly and carefully making their way down the street. I don’t know.

Maybe I was too far away, but from what I could make out from the looks on their faces, they looked terrified. I took a better overall look at the group. They looked pretty bad if I was being honest. Their clothing, which looked like it had been put on in a hurry, I might add, was all ripped up, and there were bloody splotches I could see on almost every member of the family. I watched them for a few more seconds and thought about asking them if they were okay and introducing myself.

As I decided to see if I could help, one of the kids tripped and started crying. One of the parents turned, grabbed the kid, and placed a hand over the child’s mouth. As the parent holding the child’s mouth shut began looking around, their eyes widened. I couldn’t see what they were looking at, but the other parent noticed the same thing as the first and let out a blood-curtailing scream of fear. The person who had screamed turned and ran, leaving their family behind as they fled. The parent that stayed with the children grabbed them tight and began to cry.

The children were sobbing as well at this point, and I watched with bated breath to see what had terrified them so much. A shadow came into view first, then a large dog-like shadow. Fuck! I think I knew what this was, and these guys were so fucked. Two of the extra large bone spike wolves came into view a moment later. A moment after that, everyone was dead. Holy shit. That was, that, holy shit, that was horrible, but I couldn’t take my eyes off the scene before me. About a minute into the show, a third wolf walked into view, dragging the runner’s body. After what seemed like forever, the wolves finished the meal and wandered off.

I felt like I could move again when several large bird-lizard things flew down and began tearing into the corpses. With that, I turned and, as quickly and quietly as possible, returned to the house. I honestly was just looking for a place to hide at this point. That whole scene was way too much, and I just needed to hide. I looked at the rickety staircase and said fuck it.

I climbed the half-broken stairs and barely made it to the second floor. The second floor seemed stable enough, but I still took every step tentatively. The first room I came to was a kid’s room, or at least before the earthquake, or I guess integration hit. There were a bunch of anime posters on the walls and a dope Pokémon rug. Hell, it could have been a couple of friends of mine’s room, too. The room was a mess, and the bed had fallen through the floor, creating a large hole on one side of the room. There was a closet full of clothes, a desk, and a dresser. I was still freaking out from the family I had just watched die right in front of me. I needed to hide. It was all I could think about.

I made my way over to the closet and looked inside. I grabbed a couple of blankets from an upper shelf and tried to make some kind of bedding out of them in the closet. It had a door, and at the moment, it was another barrier between me and the rest of the world. It was comfortable enough to at least sleep for the night, but that was just a bonus. I just prayed I was hidden well enough. As the adrenaline began to leave my system, my headache started to come back with a vengeance. I must have hit my head pretty hard when I got knocked out.

I swear I must’ve laid there for 3 hours, but it definitely could’ve been only 30 minutes, but I eventually passed out. Until I did, every noise, every little breaking twig, set my nerves spinning. I didn’t know how many of those wolf creatures were out there, but they said they were sending creatures to our planet, so there’s got to be more. After a while, I ended up passing out. I woke up in a panic, arms swinging forward, legs kicking, jolting myself into a seated position. Where was I? Was I in danger?

As I pulled my shit together to figure out what had woken me up. I crept over to the window and took a lookout. A squirrel had jumped off the window ledge onto the tree next to the house. Damn, near fucking pissed myself. I looked down at my hands, and I was shaking. I took a second to calm myself. It was good to know there was some normal fucking wildlife still around. I checked myself out to ensure all my parts were still where I left them the night before. I was all good. My head had even stopped hurting, so that was a good sign. I felt a little better as well, hungry as hell, but I guess I burnt a lot of calories the day before running my ass off. I started looking through the kid’s room. Maybe there was a backpack or something else I could use to keep some of the blankets with me, try to create a survival kit of some kind.

Today was food and water. I’d found shelter, and it seemed to be a rather good place. Nothing bothered me last night, and I hadn’t heard or seen anything around since I’d been awake. I started rummaging around and managed to find a backpack. I loaded it up with a couple of blankets and a pillow. I found some gloves, too, and put those on as soon as I found them. My hands were so cold. As I was zipping the backpack closed, I heard a scream from outside the house, and my fight-or-flight response kicked in. It only took me a second, and I was back in the closet, hidden under the pile of blanks that had been my bed.

I stayed there for a little, but curiosity got the better of me, and I made my way over to a window and looked out. The window I was looking out of was facing the backyard, but as the house was only one of two houses to the left standing, I had a pretty good view of the side street. By the time I had got myself over to the window and looked out, most of the screaming had stopped, but there were bodies all over the road, blood pooling and running into the storm drains like rivers.

The bodies looked like they had furry tumors all over them. As I kept watching, I realized they weren’t furry tumors. They were small creatures, and they were consuming the bodies slowly but steadily. That was enough for me. I was not ready for this to become my life. I just wanted to go home, sit on my shitty couch and watch some tv. More than anything, I could really use a bowl of weed right now just to calm my ass down. Once again, I was in the closet, and I wasn’t hungry or thirsty anymore.

For some reason, all I could think was, let them pass me by. Please don’t look in here, please! I stayed there as quietly as I could for the rest of the next day and night. I kept falling asleep, then waking up, freaking out that this was the time they would find and kill me. Then after that moment, realizing I was safe for now must have been fucking with my adrenaline glands for sure. I was too scared to venture out that day and stayed held up in my hide hole. The next day, when I woke from my nightmares, it must have been around ten o’clock or so, and I had been looking around the room again, this time for anything I could use as a weapon. I heard a sound coming from downstairs. The sound of cracking wood. At first, I froze. This was my nightmare. I was gonna fucking die.

I probably was dead already and just didn’t know it, fuck! I stood there frozen for what felt like hours but was probably just a minute or two till I could move again. At that point, I returned to the closet, slid the backpack on my shoulders, turned around, and crouched by the wall. I slowly looked around the edge of the wall to see what was out, prowling around the house. It was 3 of those fucking wolves. I stopped breathing and slowly inched my way back behind the wall.

Oh fuck! Okay, how am I gonna get out of here? The cracking and sniffing sounds of the wolves were getting closer, and then it sounded like one of the wolves found the stairs and tried to go up. I held my breath, completely terrified, and there was a loud crash. I flinched extremely tough and then realized the stairs must have collapsed under the weight of the wolves.

There was a swift, high-pitched noise preceded by a quick snapping and snarling sound. Once I got up the courage, I leaned my head around the corner once more, and a wolf apparently did try to climb the stairs but had fallen and impaled itself on a piece of broken railing. Seeing their companion in such a disadvantageous situation, the other wolves decided to take full advantage and get an easy meal out of it.

By the time I looked around the corner, they were tearing into the viscera of the beast’s stomach, and the sounds of ripping meat, tearing flesh, and breaking bones filled the air. They were distracted. Now was my chance. I’d be the next meal if I didn’t take full advantage of this situation. I thought about the squirrel and how it had jumped out the window and landed on the fallen tree outside. I took a shallow breath and made a decision. I had to become the squirrel. I crept over to the window. I could still hear the wolves enjoying their meal. I slowly inched my way up to the window and looked out at the tree the squirrel had jumped to.

The tree had fallen in the integration. It was leaning against the house, probably part of the reason this half of the house is still standing. The angle of the trunk was just so that it was leaning up against the house, five feet below the window. I could probably jump out the window, slide down the tree trunk to the ground, and book it before the wolves noticed me. I just had to ensure I didn’t make too much noise or I was dog chow. I looked back one more time and listened to the sounds of the wolves enjoying their meal, reassuring myself that they were good and distracted. I decided it was now or never. I took the initiative and jumped out the window.

I dropped that first 5 feet. I landed on the tree and promptly started to slide off the side. I tried to grab a branch, and I managed to get one hand on a branch so I didn’t completely fall. I pulled myself back on the tree and slowly slid down the trunk. Made it to the bottom and took off to the bushes. I tripped on some debris in the backyard and rolled over my shoulder. Thank you, skateboarding camp. I swear that’s the only thing I took from that class…how to fall. After my roll, I popped to my feet and kept running toward the bushes. A baseball slid into the bushes, and I was hidden.

It was a blackberry bush that hurt. But I stayed there in the bushes, holding my breath. At first, I thought I was having a panic attack. It felt like vines were tightening around me, but then I realized the vines of the blackberry bush were actually tightening around me. Fuck, fuck fuck! I felt a vine on my neck. Felt the thorns touching my throat. I started ripping vines left from right. Okay, I freaked out, but I was way worse off than I thought. In the ten seconds I had spent in the bush, the vines had tangled around my body, legs, and arms. My chest had a couple wrapped around it, too. My body was covered in minor scratches by the time I was free. Some of them looked like a dog or cat attacked me. Blood was flowing freely down my arms. My pants were splashed with blood.

After I was free, I turned around and stared at the plant, actively whipping around. I had to avoid a few vines swinging towards my face. Then, I had my feet swept from under me. I frantically crawled away until I managed to get back on my feet. I was 15 feet away from it now, and I was out of the plant’s reach, but the wolves had heard the commotion and were standing 20 feet away at the base of the building, snarling, their hair raised on their backs, eyeballing me. Fuck, okay, here we go, here we fucking go.

A plan came to me quickly, not a great one, but maybe it was something. The wolves snarled for about 20 seconds while I just fucking sat there sweating bullets. Then they just fucking charged at me. And at first, on instinct, I just fucking started running in the opposite direction. That ended up being toward the blackberry bush. This is when I got my great idea. Lead the fucking wolves into the blackberry bush! That’s about as far as I got. So I was now running toward a blackberry bush that just a second ago tried to fucking strangle me to death, not my best moment.

A tree branch was lying on the ground in front of me, so I reached down while running and grabbed it off the ground. When I was close to the blackberry bush, I jammed the stick into the ground and tried to do a mini pole vault over the bush into the next yard. It kind of worked out. Made it to the top of the fence and slammed into it. Hanging on for dear life, I pulled myself on top.

The wolf following me the closest went to make the leap and got grabbed by the blackberry bush. Fuck yeah! Fucking plans! Knew that was a wonderful thing to do, you know, make one of those. Unfortunately, the second wolf used the opportunity of its fallen comrade to vault off its back, clearing the fence with ease. I dropped off the top of the fence, landing next to a barbecue. The wolf landed in front of me and snarled. I looked around. There was a dog house and some barbecue shit lying around. I saw a charcoal poker and grabbed it, then jumped into the dog house.

The wolf was right on my heels, literally scratched my fucking heel. As I jumped in, I lost my shoe. I screamed from the pain. Huddling to the back of the dog house, I clutched my ankle, trying to stop the bleeding. As the wolf reached in, I struck out with the poker, stabbing the wolf in the paw. The wolf screamed as the poker sunk deep. It pulled its paw back and reached in again.

I stabbed twice in quick succession. The wolf screamed in pain and disappeared out of sight. I stayed huddled in the dog house, listening to the sound of a wolf circling and sniffing. The sounds of a curious and angry wolf stopped after a while. So, I thought I might be in the clear. Maybe it was time to make a break for it.

I stuck my head out and damn near got it bitten off. I whipped my head back inside, and the mouth of the wolf stabbed through the opening of the dog house. I struck out with the poker again. This time, the poker stuck in the wolf’s muzzle. The next moment, the poker was ripped out of my hand. The wolf released a hair-raising howl and took off, snarling and wailing as it fled. This time, I could hear the wolf as it ran off, its cries getting softer and softer. I slowly inched myself out of the dog house. Okay, never talking about this again. No one needs to know I hid in a dog house.