Trapped In A Novel As The Breeding Mate For Four Powerful Alphas

Seo-Jun left my room without doing anything further. And while I was a bit expectant, I was not disappointed that he left just like that.

More like... I was looking forward to the next day so I had no time to be disappointed.

Other than Seo-Jun, the rest of my masters did not come home that night and even when it looked like Seo-Jun was in the mansion, he did not come down to have dinner with me.

A bit disappointing and lonely, but I made do and went to bed right away, waiting for the next day to come.

I just couldn't wait to see what Seo-Jun had in store.

I wonder... What places would a guy like him go to in order to have a fun date?

I'd still find out once we head out but I was just so curious and filled with impatience.

Have I ever felt this way before? This anxious and impatient feeling while waiting... I remember having those when waiting for a new book from my favourite author to be published.

Especially so when the blurb was on fire.

In any case, it was a feeling I was familiar with, but at the same time, unfamiliar with, because this wasn't anxiety from waiting for a new book to come out, but a date.

I was anxious about our date.

Okay, let's take deep breaths and calm down.

It's not like I haven't gone on a date before.

I mean, there was that time with Min-Cheol, though we ended up going as a group since the others just so happened to be there.

But even if we look away from that, there was that time with Jin-Yeok where we went to different gardens and then had lunch.

Hm, I did not exactly consider it a date because I wanted to get out to get some fresh air, and at that time, Jin-Yeok was still dating that girl, so I felt he was emotionally attached to me.

That's why I wasn't so anxious then.

Though he was flirting and using intimate gestures, it did make my heart race.

Ahem, point is, compared to the others, this date feels so different.

Seo-Jun likes me. Let's put that fact up for a while. Even if he doesn't like like like me, he likes me enough to want to kiss me and not hurt me, very contrary to his usual character so maybe he also like likes me.

Ugh, you know what I mean.

And because of this, it felt like a real and actual date. A date aiming to impress me, I guess. A date that's bound to make my heart and eyelashes flutter softly.

It's because I know it's a date like that, that I just can't seem to calm down.

"Are you okay?" Seo-Jun asked and I flinched, throwing myself out of my thoughts right away.

"Ah, yes. Of course. I'm fine, master." I answered, sitting straight and smiling, though I was far from comfortable but let's put my acting skills to use, shall we?

I was in the car, heading to our destination, and sitting beside me was a folded arms and crossed-legged Seo-Jun who, I'm sure, never took his eyes off me since we left the mansion.

And thanks to his super observation skills, he was able to guess I wasn't exactly comfortable and kept asking if I was okay.

Even when I assured him I was fine, I kept making these fidgety movements that indicated otherwise, so it caused him to worry.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked, leaning closer. "You seem out of it. Did you decide to change your mind?"

His face was so close to mine and his red eyes were beaming with concern as he stared into my eyes.

I gulped.

For a moment, I almost gave in to my inner demon and leaned in to kiss him, but I'm stronger than that, muhahaha. No demon is going to control my actions.

(Yet, huhu)

"No, I don't have a change of mind." I said, turning my face away to look away from the temptation.

Just as Jin-Yeok was like a sin I could not bare commit, Seo-Jun was like the devil tempting me to fall into that said sin.

And in case you forgot what I meant by a 'sin', it's the act of being so handsome, attractive, and charming that I get my rationality stolen from me and fall for whatever words that come out of their mouth.

Seo-Jun frowned a little and then pulled back, unfolding one of his arms to lean on the door with his elbow.

"I get it. You're still not comfortable with me." He said. "And all that bullshit I said yesterday must be getting you worried, right?"

Well, not exactly but he was close.

It wasn't his 'bullshit' that was getting me worried but what I remembered after his bullshit.

Wait, why am I even saying 'bullshit'? That's his language. Ugh.

"No, it's not." I answered and he rolled his eyes away, unable to believe me for some reason.

"Remember you said you couldn't be honest with me." He brought up and I blinked. "Does that mean that if you're feeling uncomfortable or feeling good, you'll say the opposite of it just so I wouldn't know your true thoughts?"

"No!" I immediately exclaimed, a bit too loudly, and this shocked him.

It shocked me as well. I didn't mean to be that loud.

But in any case, I couldn't let him misunderstand for too long.

"When I said I couldn't be honest with you, I didn't mean it like that." I said. "If something's bothering me, I'll definitely tell you."

"Then why won't you tell me what's bothering you?"

Ugh, he wants to use my words against me.

"I'd believe you if you said you're being very wary of me, and that's why you can't open up to me. I'm the villain, after all. I'm doing all this to gain your trust, after all." He said and my eyebrows lightly furrowed. "It explains all of your actions up till now, anyway. So don't stress your little brain any longer and just give it to me straight. The end of it would just be me putting in more effort to convince you to open up to me and nothing more."

He was saying it as if he didn't care if I shouted right there and then that I hated him. He was acting nonchalant, as he always does, and putting up a wall so that he wouldn't get hurt.

How pathetic.

I was so pathetic.

I just have to tell him, right? Be a bit honest.

I was carving a door on the wall that I was so scared to climb because of how tall it was. The door I was carving... Was I halfway there?

Ah, yes, I was.

Without realizing it, I had carved the entire corners, and all that was left was to put the doorknob to help me open it.

That was to say, I was just a step away from regaining my true self and the freedom of speaking my mind to whomever and whenever.

So right now... I was brimming with a certain confidence that made it seem like, 'It'll be alright no matter what I say. And... I want to say it all. I don't want them to have to think of the rest with their own heads. I want them to hear it from my mouth.'

I could say I'd come a long way.

But can you believe it?

It's a bit ironic to know that the first person I would want to open up to so badly among my four masters was Seo-Jun.

'The' Seo-Jun.

Haha.

I want to laugh but I wasn't in a situation where I could laugh as I pleased.

He'd think I was messing with him.

He'd probably not take me seriously.

Let me finally put in the doorknob and open the door, so that I can say whatever and do whatever.

It's the least I deserve to do in this life, right?

No more living with restrictions.

I reached my hand out towards Seo-Jun's face and when he noticed I was reaching towards him through the corner of his eyes, he asked,

"What are you...?"

But I did not give him a moment to ask the question in his mind and then held both sides of his face.

I couldn't pull him in. I mean, what if he resisted thinking I wanted to attack him?

That would be embarrassing.

So, I leaned in instead and then I planted my lips on his.

Seo-Jun's eyes were widened in shock, but even as he was shocked, he did not slack and did his part, holding on to me and kissing me as if he had gotten a chance he would regard as once in a million.

But wasn't this similar to me asking him to kiss me the other day?

My face went red thinking about it.

I was so shameless but who cares?

What I want right now is to assure Seo-Jun that even if he liked the world in red more, the world still looked pretty with other colors added.

And I... I was going to show him those colors.

Since I was part of those colors as well.