To love a sword

Beta read by Shigiya, Paragon of Awesomeness and FabledLife

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-Sainan-

'Why did this have to happen again?'

A certain brunette found herself facing a situation she very much despised and wanted to get over with as soon as possible. 

One troublesome case that presented itself with one of her schoolmates standing before her with their face flushed with embarrassment.

"M-Mikan-chan… I-I've been thinking about you for a long time and finally worked up the courage to tell you this," The boy mustered his bravery, took a deep breath, and faced her. She stood there with her arms crossed, a blank expression on her face, and waited for him to speak his mind - though she already knew what he was going to say from the very beginning. "Please, be my girlfriend!"

The boy finally confessed, bowing his head down as his flushed face refused to look at her. His friends in the background laughed at the display of their buddy before returning back to playing on the field. Meanwhile, her group stood by, their grins expectant for different reasons. She let out a sigh, knowing she had no choice but to handle this situation before recess ended.

And she didn't even have the chance to eat her lunch yet.

And she had yet to eat her lunch.

"I'm sorry I have to ask this, but… who are you exactly?" she asked, her tone was blunt and her words caused the boy's lively expression to completely change as if he had turned to stone. He was clearly taken aback by her question.

Looking at him more closely, she was pretty sure that she had seen him before, at least enough to recognize him a bit more; she must've seen him at one of the sports club events, though she couldn't remember which one. 'Was it the baseball team? Or was it soccer?' 'I think I saw him on the baseball team. Or was it soccer?' 

"A-Ah… m-my name is K-Kou, Handa Kou!" 

He introduced himself with a second bow.

First came a hum as she scoured through her memories, "Sorry, doesn't ring a bell."

Her response caused him to crumble even further, his stare now lifeless and empty. His friends couldn't help but laugh at the sight, showing no sympathy. She let out a sigh and spoke, "Listen, if this is some stupid prank or a stupid dare that your friends challenged you to do, then don't waste my time with it. Find another way to get your kicks."

The boy struggled to get his words out of his mouth, trembling as his prior hesitation re-emerged, stronger than ever. "But… but I was being honest…" he managed to stammer.

"So let me get this straight," she said, her tone growing colder as she squinted her eyes at the trembling boy. "We have neither talked nor hung out with each other even once before. I didn't even know your name or anything else about you until now, including which class you are part of. Despite all of that, you expect me to suddenly agree to become the girlfriend of a complete stranger? Do you take me for an idiot? Cause it's the only thing that makes any sense of this."

Her words were too much for him to bear before tears started to stream down his face, and he began to cry and ran away, while his friends followed him, smiles and laughs on their faces. "You're way too mean, M-Mikan-chan!" 

His reaction left her somewhat at a loss, as she hadn't expected it to be so dramatic. "Ah, I didn't mean it like that…" she tried to call the boy back, but he was already too far gone, leaving her alone with nothing but her own thoughts. Her friends approached, each having a different reaction on their faces.

Some grinning while others feel sorry for the latest victim.

"The Ice Queen strikes again! Another innocent heart shattered into pieces by your cold words," one of them spoke dramatically, borrowing a line from a movie she had seen.

"Damn, you didn't have to be so ruthless to the boy again. Kou-kun, is the boy who plays soccer every day and is quite good at it. He's always been nice to everyone, and looks so sweet." another friend added, slightly jealous. "Now you made such an innocent soul cry for no reason." 

"I didn't mean to come across as rude to him!" She tried to defend herself, receiving only skeptical looks from her friends. "I was just stating the facts! We never spoke other than probably saying hello and goodbye to each other. I don't know a single thing about him, and he doesn't know anything about me, yet suddenly he comes up and confesses to me. It's idiotic!"

Her response was received by half of the girls nodding their heads in agreement, while the others had an opposite reaction.

"Come on now, Mikan, if you keep acting like that, then of course, no one will get to know you. You barely talk to any of the boys at school about anything. So, try to get closer to some of them you're interested in as a start," one of them advised, which made her think for a moment.

Her friend's words weren't wrong, making the young brunette audibly hum. "I do agree with you, but the problem is, every time I try to talk with them, they just bring up topics about video games, their favorite sports, and anime. I honestly can't really relate to any of them if we don't share the same hobbies," she answered, reflecting on her attempts to socialize with some of them. 

But their conversations would often feel completely disconnected. Mikan would sometimes feel like she was talking to a child from kindergarten, and whenever she brought up her hobbies and her interest in cooking — many of them would start laughing as if she were joking. 

All in all, the girl found many of them to be quite immature, which became the major reason why she never truly interacted with them.

Hearing her reason, the girls looked at each other before sighing. It was already perfectly clear why their friend was like this.

"You sometimes act too much like a grown-up and tend to forget that we are the same age! Like seriously, even with us most of the time you talk about literature like that… arto… arko… ark kni—"

"Arthurian Legends," corrected Mikan, her friend clearly not recalling the book's name.

"Yeah, that one. Are those books read by grown-ups or something? I haven't seen anything like those in the library at school. Yesterday, I even saw you reading a book about space Viking astronauts!" her friend remarked.

"It's spelled 'The Argonautica' and it's Greek, not… any of the things you just said," the brunette's voice couldn't be any more dry. Were they doing it intentionally to annoy her? It wasn't like these books had complicated titles; even Rito remembered them despite never having read less than a handful of them many years ago.

"I don't exactly see your point. What's so wrong about me reading those books?" she asked curiously, genuinely wondering why it was such a big deal in the first place.

"It's because most of those works are not something anyone in our school is reading; it looks like something you'd see an elderly person reading at the library. It's boring," came the response she expected to hear. 

However, that did not sit well with her.

"It's not boring!" She exclaimed with a slightly more stern tone as she glared back at her friends. "If either of you bothered reading any of those, then you'd realize how amazing they are compared to what we're given by the school. The stories are exactly like those fantasy books, filled with heroes and adventure. I don't see why none of you are interested. My brother always read them to me, and I always enjoyed them!"

The girls before her looked at each other, silently acknowledging the challenge of addressing the fact that Mikan's taste and general demeanor were a bit too different from someone her age. It was mainly the reason why she couldn't truly blend in with most of the students, as she behaved more like an adult than anything else.

"Aha! So he is the perpetrator, the culprit!" one of them shouted, stepping forward and grabbing onto Mikan's shoulders, looking her straight in the eyes. "You have grown so accustomed to spending time with your brother that you have acquired the same tastes and hobbies as him! No wonder you can't relate to someone your own age. We should rectify this problem as soon as possible!"

Mikan felt her eyes twitch. 

Inherit Shirou's habits and hobbies? 

She didn't think that was the case. 

The young girl recalled that even in her earliest memories, she had always found these things to be fun. Cooking was just a hobby that helped her keep everyone fed and calm her nerves down. Her brother, at most, reinforced those hobbies rather than making her inherit them.

They were wrong!

"You guys are speaking nonsense. My brother has nothing to do with the way I am now," she insisted stubbornly, making those around her roll their eyes for a second time, having forgotten how much of a brickhead their friend tended to be at times.

"Wait, your brother is responsible for making you like cooking and reading such books? But the last time I saw him, I was pretty sure that you mentioned something along the lines of going back home with him so that you could start making lunch. If he knew how to cook, wouldn't he be doing so as well?"

A look of understanding flashed across her face. "Oh, yeah, that was also my brother, but not the one you are all talking about. The person you all saw last time was Rito, and cooking and reading such books aren't really his pastime — he's better with sports, gardening, and gaming. I was talking about my other big brother."

The girls were caught off guard by that piece of news. Some of them, closer to Mikan for longer, knew about Shirou's existence but not the details, as their friend never liked to talk about such topics. This made them curious about knowing more about the local Ice Queen's family which the latter was surprisingly tight-lipped about.

"Why didn't you ever tell us anything about you having two brothers? Do you have a picture of them? Can we see? We can stop by your house to meet them!" Some eagerly bombarded her with questions.

A surge of desire to protect both of her brothers from these fake-faced serpents emerged in the depths of Mikan's heart. "Absolutely not!" her shout resounded around her as she quickly put her phone somewhere safe.

"Why?" one of the girls asked, puzzled by her abrupt reaction.

"I don't need to give a reason," answered the youngest Yuuki sibling. "Knowing all of you, you just make my brothers uncomfortable with all of your questions and try to embarrass me in front of them. I don't want to give either of them any ammunition they could use against me for teasing."

Truth be told, there were plenty of other reasons why she didn't want her friends to meet her brothers at any point in the future.

This didn't even include the situation with Lala, Shirou being intertwined in a galaxy-spanning family drama with the emperor's daughter, and then possibly getting involved in all of that without even realizing it. No, what Mikan feared most of all was having her friends reveal every single story about her at school to both Shiro and Rito.

'I made sure to keep my life as a student a secret from them. The only one who probably knows something is Rito, given he came over once to pick me up, but even he doesn't know everything,' she thought to herself.

The nickname and being called "Ice Queen" alone made her so embarrassed that she wanted to dig a hole deep within the forest and hide in it forever. At no point should that piece of information ever reach them, or she'd have to ask Yummy to help her erase their memories.

'Also, it's not like they'll find out that Shirou is my adopted older brother. Both of us have the same colored eyes, after all,' another small worry festered in her mind. The possibility of them finding out that she wasn't related to one of her brothers could spread rumors around school and everyone has weird misunderstandings. 

To avoid any unnecessary trouble that neither she nor her brother wanted to deal with.

"Alright, enough of this. Since that's the only confession for the day, I'll head back to class," the girl changed subjects, wanting to be done with the day as soon as possible.

Realizing that there was no one at home other than the clumsy bodyguard and those twins to take care of Celine. The young girl did not trust Zastin due to looking after anything, and the twins were very far too suspicious in her opinion. 

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Thankfully, there were no more confessions or letters in her shoebox for the day, a preferable outcome giving her a sense of normalcy. 

"I'll go back home. Sorry, I couldn't come to the karaoke today; I have other things to do."

"Wait, Mikan! There is still Yuichi-kun from Class 3-A who wants to give you a letter," her friend interjected, much to her dismay.

"Just tell him I'm not interested! I don't even know who that is, so you can handle him yourself!" She snapped, frustrated but ultimately deciding to not entertain such people for the day. 

Unaware, the boy she was addressing stood right at the gate, pale and crestfallen as he heard her response. A gloomy atmosphere loomed over him as he walked away, holding back his tears at the very least. Seeing that sight, Mikan's friends couldn't help but continue sighing.

"That nickname really does suit her, too bad she can't see it," one of them remarked.

"Apparently, it has something to do with her thinking it sounded like some anime villain's name. But she sure does live up to that name, though I feel 'Heart Crusher' sounds more genuine." 

"How many boys does that make so far? Isn't this like half of them by now?" 

The others shrugged, having lost count at this rate, honestly.

"I bet you all of my allowance that the reason Mikan is not so interested in either of those boys coming up is because she's a !" someone whispered.

"Eh? But for which one? She has two of them." 

"It really doesn't matter which one, because it would explain so much of her attitude — which includes those weird stories she likes!" another replied. The girl even mentioned her brother used to read them to her, books she still carried around and read from time to time at home. 

Unaware and not interested in confronting her friends about their little gossip with anything related to herself, she marched outside the gate without saying anything and waved them goodbye. Releasing a breath of air due to relief, as it felt like most of her energy was sapped away. "I hope Zastin hasn't made a mess of the house," she muttered to herself.

Taking the road back home, whilst making a quick stop at a bakery for some bread, she looked at the time on her phone and worried about going back and finding her house in ruins. "I'm probably overthinking this. He may be clumsy, but he's still the main bodyguard of the Emperor of the Galaxy. Surely he's not that bad, right?" she reassured herself.

Then came to a sudden halt as a strange sight was in front of her.

"What the hell happened here!?" The previous attempt at consoling herself turned into pure shock, her mouth agape as she stared at what could only be described as a complete disaster. 

The streets around her neighborhood were in complete disarray, with cars and bikes having, for some reason, crashed against one another or into walls. Cracked asphalt, bent lamp posts, eerie vine roots jutting off the earth surrounded by footprints belonging to some large animal.

"An attack!" Looking both ways, expecting that another attack had occurred, she swiftly found her house and rushed over. "Huh?" Opening the doors, she found no signs of battle or anything of that sort. Instead, everything looked clean and sparkly.

"Zastin!" Having had enough, she screamed his name, seeing the alien warrior scramble towards the door from the living room before quickly dropping to his knees with his head pressed against the ground. 

Already, this was a bad sign.

"Welcome back, Mikan-sama! I have taken upon myself to keep the house clean and free from even the smallest spec of dust! I have also scrubbed the bathroom and polished every window in the house! I was just about to scrub the porch."

"You can do all of that later! Just tell me what happened outside. Did we get attacked or something? Also, where are Celine and Lala's sisters?" she demanded, her voice filled with concern and urgency.

An awkward expression befell him as his eyes darted everywhere but did not look straight at her. "Um, it's a bit hard to explain, but just so you know, no one was harmed and we didn't get attacked. I made sure to stay true to my duties and defend this household from any and all dangers with my own life, without losing focus once. I have sworn an oath by the Emperor's name back when I was barely a teenager with nothing but the clothes on m—" 

His rant came to an end as Mikan grabbed a newspaper, rolled it up, and smacked the man on his head with a loud thud.

"I didn't ask for your life story! Explain everything that happened here, now!" she demanded, her voice edged with frustration. Zastin squirmed in his place for a moment, as the phantom image of a certain redhead overlapped with her face.

In the end, he crumbled under the pressure.

"Momo-sama and Nana-sama went outside to find Celine, who accidentally wandered off to the streets… I have failed you.

"What!?" The image of a small toddler who was just born a couple of days ago and had just learned how to walk wandering around town played out in her mind, surrounded by plenty of danger and suspicious individuals who would have their eyes on her. "We have to go find her right now. You have an airship, right? Go find her right now and don't come back till you do!"

"Yes, ma'am!"

That poor little child. Who knew just what kind of dangerous situation she was in right now? Mikan truly hoped that no nefarious person or criminal ended up getting their hands on her.

(Break)

"Is that green smoke coming out of the room?" Emiya asked, looking towards the end of the hallway, noticing the visible green smoke seeping from the cracks of the door. His bewildered gaze was paralleled by Rin's, the young swordswoman just as confused as he was before a face of horror befell upon her.

"Saki-sama!" She called out the blonde's name, rushing towards the door and opening it forcefully, ignoring his warning and refraining from doing so. 

"—!"

But it was already too late as instantly she was met with a wall of dense green smoke avalanching towards her and nearly enveloping her entire body.

"Don't just stand there, you idiot!" Thankfully, the woman managed to get saved at the very last second as her collar was grabbed and pulled by the red-headed boy and thrown backward, far away where this strange substance wouldn't touch her. The man himself covered both his nose and mouth with his shirt, creating a distance between him and this strange fog.

His mind raced as he searched for a possible answer to this phenomenon.

Upon looking at Rin's reaction, it seemed very unlikely for this to have been a trap from Saki or something they were responsible for doing. From the small amount of smell I got from it, it does not seem to be any kind of poison I am familiar with, and also there are no traces of magical energy anywhere. Already, he was circulating his magical energy all throughout his body, preparing to fight back against whatever this was, just to be on the safe side. A quick scan of his body showed no anomalies so far, which further confused him.

"It could also be a substance from another planet. Maybe that is why I cannot identify it," he thought. Whether or not this was the case, he couldn't dismiss it. The chances of one of Lala's wedding candidates throwing a surprise attack were not zero, and he was warned by others that many would come.

"It could also be an attack from Solgam," he considered.

"Get your hands off me! I need to save Saki-sama!" He was brought back to the current situation as the girl next to him struggled to break free from his hold, stubbornly wanting to dive into this mysterious cloud without any regard for her safety while trying to find her mistress.

"Stop acting erratically! And if it's a harmful substance, it will affect you, and you will be of no help to Saki regardless. Just stop and think for a second," he scolded the girl, letting out a sigh of relief as it seemed that his words managed to get to her, and she did not resist as much.

"Good, let me go first. I have the means to protect myself, it doesn't seem to be poison at the very least." 

Putting on a gas mask he projected, he carefully approached the end of the hall. Even though channeling his Magical Energy would have sufficed to a certain extent as this didn't seem harmful. 

Best not to take any unnecessary risks.

"Where did you get that?"

"It was lying in a cupboard inside the guest room," it took him another second to remember that there was really no need to hide his magecraft from Rin as she'd already seen it. An automatic response that came out before he could give it any thought. 'No matter, I'll explain it later.'

Getting closer to the door, his mind readied to call for Kanshou and Bakuya from his reality marble as soon as something jumped out of this fog. "Something is approaching." His body tensed as he heard the sound of rapid footsteps, but instantly the redhead froze as he was about to trace the swords, as the shadow came out and showed itself to be a familiar sapient alien plant with mostly green hair.

"Ma-u!"

"Celine? What the-!" The sudden weight of a body launching towards him took him by surprise, and he quickly steadied her with his hands. He couldn't help but notice that she was holding onto one of the daggers he had forged years ago, his very first attempt at creating a weapon.

"Why do you have that… I'm pretty sure I left it in the shed." He was at a loss for words, expecting another kind of alien to jump out from the mist with more hostile intentions, sent by one of Lala's many candidates. Yet, the last person he ever expected to be present here was casually holding a dagger for some unknown reason.

"Uuuh!" As if she understood his question, the little child extended the dagger to him, holding it by the blade with the handle facing him and waving it around happily.

"Careful!" Given this wasn't one of his traced creations, he couldn't dismiss it and thus hastily grabbed the weapon out of her grasp. "You shouldn't hold any kind of bladed weapon like that, especially when it's half of your body length." 

There seemed to be no cuts or injuries as far as he could see, yet soon enough he started to question why she was truly here.

Looking at the weapon in his hands and her expression, a few possible ideas emerged in his mind, some that didn't initially make sense but were the only ones he could think of logically. 

"Is this a 'gift'?" he asked, and she shook her head. 

"Did someone steal it?" 

Again, that didn't seem to be the case. 

"Did you… Did you bring this here for me?" 

That made her excitedly nod her head, looking at him expectantly, with sparkling eyes and a large smile.

"Don't tell me that you thought that I go out with a weapon all the time?" 

As he feared, she nodded her head once again. An argument could be made concerning his magecraft, but that was beside the point of physically carrying the weapon with him.

Rubbing his face, the Counter Guardian wondered how Celine could be under such an impression and where she got such a misunderstanding in the first place. "All right, we'll talk about this later. For now, there are more pressing matters to attend to," matters concerning the fog in particular. 

"Who is she?" Rin asked, looking strangely at the girl within Emiya's grasp. "And is that a flower on her head?" Her worry about Saki was momentarily overtaken by the confusion of this little girl's appearance.

"She's an alien plant," he wasted no time in revealing her origin to Rin, who was already familiar with aliens. There was no need for him to create unnecessary confusion and fabricate more lies at this point. "Don't ask any more questions. I'll answer them later. Just hold her for now."

"Just like how you will answer my questions about those people who attacked you last time?" 

"Yes, all in due time. Hm?" As he was about to go back into the room as the fog started to dissipate more and more, he halted in his steps as he found someone walking out of the room. "Saki?" It was none other than the blonde heiress, wobbling on her feet side to side followed by a couple of maids and Aya, who had a similar movement.

"Something is wrong with them,"

A rather obvious statement, a sight that put the two on edge.

The swordswoman, having gotten the urge to check up on her mistress, held herself back at the last second by being reminded of Emiya's words. 

"That is pretty clear. Last I recall neither of them had a sprouting flower on their head," he said, noticing the additional presence of the plant over their heads, his mind started to connect the dots as he looked at the small plant held within Rin's grasp. 'I'm pretty sure there was no mention of her species being able to secrete any kind of mist or fog to begin with. But that was in her flower form. I can't use the same knowledge on her new form.'

"Watch out!" 

"—!" 

His instincts suddenly went haywire as the swordswoman shouted at him, moving to the side just in time to dodge one of the maids who had leaped towards him with her arms held wide open. Her face struck the wall with a loud thud, yet she got up the next second without even acknowledging the pain.

"Wah!" The woman exclaimed with a large grin on her face, her expression unnaturally happy despite having collided against a wall. "Shirou… I love you!" 

"Huh?" 

"Shirou! Shirou! Shirou! Shirou! I love you! Kiss me!" 

"I don't even know who you are!" He shouted as she came for him once again, foggy eyes clouded by pure desire and lust. "Damn it!" Unfortunately, this was just the beginning as one by one, all of them repeated his name, their gaze completely focused on him with an unnatural light within their eyes before rushing him from all sides.

"There's too many of them!" Not having any choice, he decided to take a more drastic measure. "Sorry about this, this will hurt a bit," he apologized as he grabbed Rin and Celine, reinforcing both of his legs before jumping straight over the group's heads. 

"Aaaah!" 

"Wah~!" 

Two different reactions showed on the two girls' faces, one having fright and horror as she suddenly found herself near the ceiling with the other holding her standing on a chandelier. While the second one showed pure joy, sitting on his head and holding onto his hair as her hair fluttered against the wind — enjoying the ride more than anything else.

His position advantage proved useful amidst the swarm of people in the halls, with more emerging from the room. 

"What the hell were you all planning to do in the first place? Why are there so many servants!?" he demanded, finding it absurd for there to be so many staff members present for just a small party.

"Saki-sama was planning to impress you with multiple shows and presentations. Performances put together by the staff members of the Tenjoin Estate, using our finest to have you reconsider her option and accept becoming part of the staff."

There was a clear presence of pride within her tone despite the circumference they were in. 

"What a stupid plan! I would not have accepted regardless of what you all tried to do to impress me!" Emiya exclaimed, frustrated by the futile effort.

"Don't berate her plans like that! She spent days preparing this and used a ton of resources on you because of how hard it was to have you accept coming here once," Rin defended, her tone softening slightly. Despite her words, she couldn't help but marvel at how nimble Emiya was, effortlessly navigating through the chaos. "Such movements… are you perhaps the descendant of a Shinobi clan versed in ancient ninjutsu?"

"Not even close, this is just magecraft." He said while running around the walls with unnatural finesse and power, able to clear the obstacles without any issue before making his way inside the main room, where they had much more space than the cramped hallway. 

This time, the hoard rushed inside with Saki at the forefront. 

"Saki! What is wrong with you?" he asked, but weirdly enough, no response came from the other side.

"Sh-Shirou-kun!" This time, Aya was the one to lunge towards him, but this time he didn't need to move or dodge as Rin appeared before him and swiftly tackled the bespectacled girl to the ground and started to slap her face silly.

"Aya, just what is wrong with you? Come back to your senses!" No amount of slaps helped to get the bespectacled girl's attention, as she continued to struggle with a surprising amount of force that even made Rin get pushed back at first. "It's this flower!" 

That particular plant on their head had to be the reason, perhaps ripping it out would break them out of their state. However, her attempt was spotted by Emiya who was quick to dissuade her. 

"Don't, we can't be sure how deeply it's ingrained in their heads. The roots could easily be embedded within the brain, removing it with force could cause some irreversible damage."

"That gruesome!?" 

"It's just a theory, I'm not sure since this is the first I've seen something like this." Even back in his world, there were magi experimenting with controlling a human body through a similar-looking method. Though in many cases those were already dead bodies… nothing said a similar thing wouldn't happen here but with living people if they weren't careful, even if it just looked like they were under the influence of an aphrodisiac.

"They are basically zombies right now," Emiya noted. "If this flower is magical by nature, I can attempt to circulate a small portion of my energy within them and attempt to dissipate it… but something tells me they won't be very compliant."

He gazed as Saki approached him, "E-Emiya, my heart is pounding. I-I need you to help me calm it down, n-now~!" Her voice dripped with honey, breathing haggard as the fervor within her heart-shaped eyes grew stronger. "I want you to ravage me~! Ruin me for any other man and make me your woman~! Quench the fire with my heart~!"

"Other than those last parts, I would have taken your request into consideration if you weren't controlled by whatever this is. But for now, I'm afraid I'll have to decline." He said with an uneasy smirk. "As your temporary butler, I'm quite happy to help make your day better, a shame it had to turn out like this. Would you like me to give you a massage?"

Her body twitched, steps halting for a second before resuming her approach. 

'So she's not completely gone, I doubt the same will work on others. I don't have the time to try, I'll see what I can do after they're immobile.' he thought while throwing one of the maids who got a bit too close to him towards the sofa. 

Body tensing, his legs pushed against the ground, carefully maneuvering his way around the heiress with his arm held high, going for a quick chop to her neck. 

"Don't hurt her!" 

Much to his shock, his action was halted as a certain someone came at him with her wooden sword with a quick strike aimed at his hands. Forcing him to jump back as more swings followed the initial one. 

"What are you doing, Rin!?

A face of frustration appeared on the young woman before being replaced by absolute resolve. "I'm sorry, but I have taken an oath to protect Saki-sama against any kind of violence and keep her safe at all times even if it's for her own good. I can't allow you to lay a hand on her, I'm sorry but I just can't!" 

This idiotic little… "Did you get infected as well or you're just stupid? I can't check her state if she keeps coming at me like that. Your action can and will cause her more harm if we don't get her treated as soon as possible!" 

"…" Her grasp on the wooden blade tightened, fully understanding his word to be valid but that entailed allowing her mistress to get struck unconscious. "T-There h-has to be another way, maybe we c-can restrain her and everyone without p-pain. Pleas—huh?" 

In an instant, he vanished from his spot. Rin's eyes widened, her instinct screaming to dodge but still a second too late as she felt her body freeze up. As if bound by thousands of invisible tendrils, wrapped themselves around each limb. 

Surveying the room, Rin realized that she wasn't alone, noticing the sudden hush that had fallen over the previously chaotic space. All of the maids were fixed in their spots, and the room had grown eerily still. Her gaze drifted to the sight of a strange straight blade protruding from the ground, positioned precisely at the center of each maid's shadow, dozens of them.

'From where did these swords even come from…'

"You owe me a favor, since Saki is your mistress, and your oath does not extend to everyone else here." She heard his voice, unable to look but to listen to the sound of multiple thuds of bodies falling to the ground in quick succession. 

'Yuuki E-Emiya Sh-Shirou,' she tried to call his name as he appeared once again in her vision, taking down the few remaining maids before turning his attention to both her and Saki.

"I still find it very odd you all went to the extent of securing the windows, and doors barricaded with metal. Heh, something tells me I was walking inside a trap and would have ended up getting kidnapped in some way." 

He chuckled calmly, walking in front of them and carefully observing Saki's face. 

"Just what exactly were you planning by inviting me here… At this point, I honestly don't care anymore." Picking up Celine, he made her face Saki. "Can you remove this?" 

"Mau?" His answer came in the form of a cute head tilt.

"Hn, I guess not. Was worth a try." 

With that said, Rin grew alarmed as the man placed his palm on her mistress's forehead, the latter's face visibly reddening and breathing quickening. Clear that she was trying her utmost best to move and embrace him but couldn't move a muscle. And just like that, the latter lost consciousness, the swords all around disappearing as she fell with Emiya carefully catching her. 

"Guh! Hah… Hah… Hah…" As for the swordswoman herself, she fell onto her knees with a pale face, struggling to catch her breath. "That felt horrible." 

Emiya scoffed, "Suck it up. You'll recover soon enough, now just stay put till I find out what's wrong with her. If there's nothing I can do, we'll take her to a doctor I know who is familiar with alien biology. Perhaps she can do a better job than I can."

All she could do was nod at his words, having gotten overwhelmed by the prior experience. 

.

.

.

It felt warm, Saki felt weird with a headache occupying her mind, as if she was struck by a heavy object. Yet at the same time, the pain slowly diminished with each passing second till all that remained was a sense of weightlessness. "Hmmm," her sore throat released a small whimper as she tried to open her eyes. 

"Rise and shine, Master." 

Greeted a certain redhead vested in a butler outfit, for some reason she was lying on the floor as he sat right next to her. His hands touched her forehead, being the source of the warmth. "I honestly didn't expect for the flower to fall off on its own, guess it hadn't taken root in your brain." 

Ah, this had to be one of her dreams again. Getting taken care of her personal butler, a scenario that led to two different outcomes depending on her mood. Sadly, she couldn't go with the most common one as her body strangely felt far too tired to even move a muscle. "Em…Emiya…"

"Oh, so you are back to your senses as well. I was worried that you would have stayed like a zombie forever." 

He was worried about her, which made her stomach tingle and her lips twitch upwards. She didn't know what happened prior to this dream, nor why she was on the floor — but she didn't care in the end. "You look… good in that outfit." 

"Rin said you went to some famous tailor to have it made for me. It's not bad." 

Smiling at his answer, the girl used what little strength she could summon and moved towards him just enough to place her head on top of his legs. "Hehehe… lap pillow." 

Tamer than anything she'd usually do in such a scenario, but with limited options it was the best one so far. Gave her a sense of peace, making it harder and harder to stay awake despite this being a dream. Probably meant that she was about to wake up soon.

"I'll give it to you for now, there won't be a next time — Risa is already too comfortable with such things." 

Who was this Risa woman? She wanted to pout as even the Emiya in her dreams kept bringing up another woman's name in her presence. "You're not allowed… to think of anyone else but your mistress." 

"Ah, I guess you're right, I'm still your butler after all." He scoffed with slight amusement, "You remember anything that happened a minute ago?" 

"Don't know, don't care. Probably fell asleep, Aya will wake me up when you get here. Hmmm, perhaps I will ask you to treat me like this, not a bad idea." 

Hearing her words, Emiya was momentarily confused before putting together that this girl believed this to be a dream. "Quite an unusual way you prepared for my arrival. Reinforced windows and a small army of maids, you honestly think that will make me change my mind?" 

He was curious; willing to use this opportunity to get some answers out of her by playing on this misunderstanding of this being a dream. Rin could fill her in with the truth after he was gone, he didn't want to deal with another extreme scenario. Her lethargic state was the best-case scenario. 

"It's my only chance to impress you," she answered with a whisper. "Just to have you over I had to wait so long and go through many hurdles. I don't want our next time to be a month later or beyond that. It's not fair that stupid Lala gets to spend so much time with you every day with little effort."

For something so benign she was willing to go so far, he didn't know whether to be impressed or worried. 

"It's not like I've been deliberately trying to avoid you this entire time without reason. Put away these ideas of putting me on a leash and we can talk more often like normal people." 

"…I don't want to just talk with you." He rolled his eyes as she pouted, but she wasn't done. "But if it means I get to be around you more often then I'm willing to try. Though I have a condition." 

"That is?"

"Rub my head, your mistress demands it."

"Are you serious?" Far less tamed than he imagined, having expected for the latter. 

"That is an order." 

Well, it wasn't so bad. Best to agree with this term rather than have her realize this wasn't a dream and attempt something far more convoluted. "Fine." 

And so, a few minutes passed as he continued to stroke the blonde's hair, the latter having fallen into a deep sleep. Rin on the other end of the room gave him a weird stare, as if she was having a hard time believing the sight before her. 

"Hm?"

The very next second his senses picked up the sensation of the earth beneath his feet shaking. "What now…"

A loud crash echoed throughout the room as one of the walls crumbled into pieces in an instant.

"—!?"

To his surprise, the right side of the wall where a large portrait of sake hung was instantly destroyed by a…

"A rhino!?" Rin finished his phrase, her bewildered face looking at the animal, five times the size of a minivan, towering over everything in the room. Its appearance was strange, to say the least, with pale blue skin and four horns on its head, along with a pair of reptilian scales on its neck.

"She's there! Capture that girl before she vanishes again!" shouted a voice coming from the back of the animal, and right before his eyes, a multitude of vines burst out of the floor, forming a cage around Celine and Rin. 

"We got her!" 

Two pink heads appeared on the back of the beast. The first was Nana, looking in a rather pitiful state. With messy hair, ruined clothes, and soot-covered faces. "Hahaha! Finally!"

"We did it!" High-fiving Nana, Momo showed herself to be in a similar state. Visibly tired and has some bruises on her arm. Swaying side to side, getting supported by her sister as they made their way down. "When we go back, we'll have to throw away every can of soda from the fridge. I'm not going through all that ever again."

"Hey, it was your idea to keep Celine calm when we first got to her with a can." 

"I didn't know it would make her release a pollen cloud with such perverted effects! Let's just bring her back before Emiya… returns… home…" Momo's voice slowed down till it came to a halt as she noticed Emiya sitting on the ground a couple of meters away from them. 

The twins wondered why he was wearing a butler suit along with having a blonde girl using his legs as a pillow.

"Ah," Nana avoided his gaze, the girl going pale in his presence while Momo started whistling innocently, backing away and leaving her sister to confront him. "Momo!? C-Come back here!"

Returning with an awkward smile, Momo tried her best to explain the situation. "Hehehe… this is not what it looks like, Emiya." 

"Pray tell what it actually is then?" 

"It was Zastin's fault!" both of them shouted at the same time, but Momo decided to take the lead and continue her speech. "We were just minding our own business in our sister's room when we heard something break downstairs. Going over, we found Celine missing and panicked!"

Now Nana continued, "Yeah, we managed to get her at first but she kept trying to run away from us for some reason. Momo wanted to calm her down with some drinks but it only made everything worse."

"I didn't know it would have such an effect!" 

"We tried again to get our hands on her before she got hurt, but everyone in the neighborhood went crazy because of her, and we had to take care of that situation first! Even when both of us tried working together to pick up the trail, she kept disappearing and reappearing with another large hoard of perverts shouting your name for some reason!" Nana whined, horror showing on her face as she recalled the events of the past. "She was deliberately torturing us and enjoying the show!"

Absorbing the rather absurd story, he paid close attention to the latter part of her phrase, looking back at Celine inside the cage and taking a nap within Rin's embrace. "That's hard to imagine, she's just an innocent child."

Even as a sunflower plant, Celine never showed such kind of behavior. Only plays little pranks on Mikan or Rito by hiding their belongings behind her back and giving them back in exchange for food or attention.

"She's a sadistic plan—mmph!" Her tirade was forced to a stop as Momo quickly covered her mouth. 

"Emiya is right, Celine is not like that and she was acting weird because of the soda." Sending a signal to Nana, she warned the latter to keep her mouth shut if she didn't want to be in any more trouble with the man. "W-We really were trying to keep her safe."

"I can see that," Emiya hadn't expected for this little girl to cause so much trouble out of nowhere, but he was still relieved to find out that nothing bad actually happened to her. "I guess the fault lies in myself as well, I should have kept the shed closed and made sure she couldn't have gotten inside. But still… thanks for working so hard trying to keep her and everyone else safe." 

Asking Momo to remove the cage, he grabbed the little girl who just squirmed as he picked her up. Yawning as drool strained her clothes, fully in a deep sleep and most likely tired from the entire journey. "Did you say those affected by this pollen suddenly shouted my name?" 

They nodded, making Emiya very confused about whether or not this was truly pollen in the first place. Acting as an aphrodisiac-like substance and now giving strangers who didn't even know he existed the knowledge of his existence and trying to seek him out… Truly bizarre.

"Exactly, I'm not sure what kind of pollen it is, nor why it causes that kind of effect in the first place. But it should be safe as long as Celine doesn't consume any alcoholic or highly sugary drinks… I think. Regardless, the effects only last for half an hour and there doesn't seem to be any remnant side effects." Even Momo wasn't certain what was going on, as all her diverse knowledge of alien flora unfortunately did not include whatever this was. 

He nodded, keeping that in mind before heading towards the hole where there used to be the wall. Leaving the others confused, Momo and Nana looked at one another, shrugging before sighing. 

"I think it's time for us to find a new place as well. Do you have any money on you?" The youngest sibling asked, to which Nana showed a similar reaction. 

"Nope, I don't think we can exchange our money with Earth's currency. But I still have some jewelry I took from Dad's collection, maybe we can pawn them off." 

"I don't think they'll accept them, some of those materials don't even exist on this planet." 

"Ah, I forgot about that." 

Both sighed, believing that their best option was to just find a good spot at the park and set up camp there til they could think of a better solution. 

"Why are you dawdling?" Both were taken aback as they heard Emiya's voice, turning around to find the redhead standing outside the wall giving them an impatient stare. 

"Eh? What do you mean?" Momo asked, unsure what he meant by that.

"I'm asking whether you're coming home with me or not. Both Mikan and Rito are probably worried about us, so let's not waste any more time and keep them waiting longer than we have to." 

"…"

They hesitated at first, unsure whether to follow or not until Momo went first with a smile on her face. Nana quickly did so as well, still unsure but strangely enough, relieved. The giant rhino disappeared, returning back to the D-Dial as more pieces of the wall and ceiling started to crumble. 

Rin remained in her spot, eyes twitching as she counted on a couple of dozens of maids lying on the floor along with Saki and Aya who she needed to bring somewhere safe. 

"He could have at least helped me, that jerk."

{Break}

-Yuuki Residence- 

"So, let me get this straight, this is not Lala? " Sitting in the living room, the group gathered after the debacle in the Tenjoin Estate. Mikan looked at what she'd thought was the pink-haired princess with an expression of disbelief. "She sure looks like Lala to me, unless she has a third sibling I wasn't aware of, who also happens to be a perfect twin."

Emiya sighed, fully aware of how ridiculous his statement sounded, but it was the truth. "I wish I were kidding, but unfortunately I am not. I don't know how exactly it came to this, but just know it was an accident which had nothing to do with me."

"You are saying that as if any of the prior malfunctions were because of you. I know how to judge that, Shirou." 

"Just wanted to let you know, that is all."

"A-Ah… hello Mikan-chan, i-it's been a while hasn't it? You remember me?"

The young girl flinched backward, unused to seeing Lala… or rather, Lala's body, behaving so timidly and speaking in such a soft tone. It was jarring to say the least, disturbing even. 

"Of course I do, it was only a year ago and your sister won't stop talking about you." 

"Eeeeh!?" Her reaction said it all. Unprepared to learn that her sister met up with the Yuuki siblings at any point in time. Haruna never learned that Akiho even knew about Mikan, let alone talked to her. "How!?" 

"We meet from time to time at the supermarket or when she's having a date with a new guy. She even came over once to pick up some chocolate for White Day." 

Haruna couldn't believe her ears, her gaze demanding an explanation from Emiya. 

Rito on the other hand recalled an old memory, "Ah, I remember! That's why that woman looked so familiar, I thought she was just one of Nii-san's friends." 

"She's an acquaintance at best," answered the eldest sibling with a dry tone. "Akiho paid me to make her some chocolates for her colleagues at work because she was too lazy to do it herself. I believe her exact words were that it was 'cheaper' to buy something of that quality… I should have charged her twice the amount just for that."

The chocolates from last year's White Day, Haruna remembered how amazing they were and her sister refused to tell her where she got them from. 'I even brought some that remained in the fridge and gave them to Yuuki-kun and… Emiya…'

As if he read her mind, Emiya smirked. "If my memory serves me well, that was quite the brag about having helped your sister make those chocolates. I nearly said something, but didn't because of how funny it was, though Rito was the one who didn't realize it, he was so happy to have received your 'homemade' chocolates that I couldn't bring myself to burst his bubble."

At that, the boy blushed before looking away. "I was just happy that I got something in the first place from Sairenji…" 

As for Haruna, her face had turned as red as Emiya's hair. Curling into a ball, she used the pillows to hide her face. "Kill me now, I don't want to live in this world anymore. My entire life is a lie." 

As the others chuckled, Mikan turned her attention to the other body-swapped girl now present in the living room. Sitting with a large grin on her face while playing a game with Rito on the console. Unlike the real Haruna, she didn't seem as bothered or worried to have taken over someone else's body and continued to behave as her usual self. 

"So, any plans of finding a way to fix this? Because I'm not going to lie, all of this is kind of weird." Emiya asked.

"Lala mentioned being able to fix this by tomorrow if she gets to analyze and study Sairenji's body and reverse the effects," Rito said with an awkward gaze, not knowing how to handle Lala being within his crush's body and vice versa. 

He even instinctively stuttered and blushed when the real Lala came over to ask him whether or not she could play with him on the console, making it very awkward. he wouldn't have such a reaction near Lala's body at times as he kept thinking of her as the real princess. 'This is all so confusing.'

"And what about them?" Mikan then pointed at the twin sisters, Momo and Nana, quietly sitting in the corner of the living room making as little noise as possible while Celine played with Nana's hair. "I thought you told them to leave this morning." 

Even though she asked a question, there was already a knowing tone to her voice, having guessed this outcome from the beginning. 

A reaction to which he paid little attention to. 

"Well, it turns out there are plenty of aspects about Celine that are unknown. Best to have an expert around to watch over her health in case of an emergency." 

"You turned them into a pair of glorified babysitters." 

"I don't mind!" Momo exclaimed, having a large smile on her face as she looked at both brother and sister. "I promise to keep Celine in perfect condition and make sure she doesn't fall sick!"

"Well… they are better than Zastin I suppose." 

Truly, at the end of the day, Mikan was a bit overwhelmed by all of these events happening so quickly one after the other. "So, Sairenji, want me to show you Rito's room? He's got a lot of interesting books and magazines that I've found scattered throughout the floor this afternoon."

"What!? Why were they on the floor!?" 

His shout resonated in the room, Momo and Nana slowly slithering away from the room and not assuming any responsibility. 

Emiya noticed something, "By the way, where is Zastin?" He asked, getting an ignorant shrug from everyone but Mikan. 

"Don't worry about him."

.

.

.

(A few hours later.)

"Hah, finally some peace." 

Finding himself back in the shed, Emiya indulged himself in some temporary solitude with nothing but his own creations and blazing embers from the forge surrounding him. 

"How did Celine even manage to track me down? I doubt a newborn plant has enhanced senses of smell like a bloodhound or a ridiculous sixth sense." Holding the dagger she brought him, such questions kept popping out one by one. 

"Ability to technically mind control people in a similar effect of aphrodisiac. Doing so without any lingering side effects after it wears off, capable of achieving such an outcome only after getting drunk on a carbonated beverage." He noted down each of her abilities on a piece of paper, slightly concerned that all of these abilities manifested a few days after her transformation. "It's very possible for more abilities to appear as she matures, or the existing ones becoming more potent." 

Was it because he used his Magical Energy to increase the nutritional value of her food? But that didn't make sense, his energy wouldn't have such an effect on anything. And even if that was the case, why would it influence the creation of a love potion-like pollen?"

So many questions yet no one was capable of answering them. Even called Mikado and explained to her the situation an hour ago, only to get a single response. 

"I'm sorry, Emiya. But Plantas by themselves are not a species I'm well versed with, and Celine from what I've gathered is a completely new specimen. Perhaps Momo Deviluke can help, she has a better understanding of plant-based organisms than I do." 

However, the problem came with the fact that even Momo didn't have any answers about Celine's evolution. 

"Um… Emiya-kun?" 

Not expecting someone to visit him so late at night, he turned around to find Lala… rather Haruna standing at the doorstep now wearing more casual clothing — ones that weren't Peke.

"I thought you were with Lala in her lab." He said, the princess telling everyone that she needed to burrow Haruna to conduct tests. 

"Ah, yes she did look at my body and did some check-ups. Now she's working on some machine that can turn us back to normal and told me to go to bed until she needs me again." The girl looked around the room in silent amazement. "And I saw the lights in the shed on, so I came over to see what's going on. You made all of these?" 

"I have, just as a hobby." Haruna walked around, looking at his creations for the next few minutes as silence fell upon them. This atmosphere felt oddly familiar, uncomfortable even. "You have something to say to me. If it's anything about Lala's origin as an alien or my involvement in all of this then feel free to ask."

She hesitated at first, opening her mouth but unable to say anything. A couple of seconds went by till she got enough courage to do so. "…N-No, it's not that. I-I was shocked at first about Lala being an alien princess. But now that I heard this, it makes a lot of sense given everything I've seen so far. But that's not why I'm here." 

Emiya nearly dropped his pen at how nonchalant and unbothered Haruna was about the whole alien thing. Treating it as if it were a minor revelation and a common event that happened every so often. And what did she mean by 'it makes a lot of sense?' nothing about this made any sense!

'Why does everyone who discovers that Lala is an alien act so casually at such a piece of news? Is there something about this world I've missed?'

From Risa, his siblings, and now Haruna… they all had minimal reactions. The magi at the Clocktower would have been foaming to get their hands on Lala and even a regular person would have been in complete shock at seeing an actual alien!

'It feels like I am the weird one here overthinking everything… just where the hell did you send me, Alaya?'

As Emiya continued to contemplate the twisted logic of this world and its inhabitants, Haruna continued to hesitate even more on her following words. 

"Emiya-kun… there is something I've been wanting to tell you for a while but never got the opportunity to do so." Her hand placed over her heart as a complicated expression flashed on her face. 

"—!?"

Already, Emiya picked up the cues on what Haruna was possibly about to say, and the answer gave him a cold sweat. 'Is she… trying to confess to me?' 

He wasn't so naive to miss the signs, the way she worded her phrase and general body cues continued to hint at that path more and more every passing second.

No… no that couldn't be, she never showed such feelings towards him in the past! They were always friendly towards one another but nothing more, he even mentioned prior how he wasn't interested in a relationship with anyone anytime soon.

Perhaps he was being paranoid over nothing.

"It's something I discovered during the festival… It's been on my mind ever since and I couldn't stop thinking about it. My heart becomes restless every time I think about it and it keeps getting worse." 

"…"

He felt like a mountain came crashing upon his shoulders, this girl who Rito had a crush on was trying to confess to him. This wasn't good, he had to end this before it created any misunderstandings or hurt someone he really cared about. 

'I have to remember, she is young and it's normal for someone her age to easily develop such feelings. I got too comfortable and failed to notice them. Was I too friendly with her?' 

Better to rip the band-aid off in one move rather than wait for no reason. It wasn't like this was the first time he rejected a woman, other than dealing with Lala he had declined to be in some relationships back when he still went by the name Emiya Shirou. His younger self having perhaps indulged in such instances with a handful of women whose names and faces he had mostly forgotten. 

"I'm not interested in a relationship with you, Haruna."

"I know you're dying, Emiya-kun." 

Both ended up saying their part at the same time.

.

.

.

"Eh?"

"Hah?"

And both showed pure confusion on their faces.

------------

The next 5 chapters of Snafu, and my other Fate fics (Fate Coiling Sword with 3 chapters, A Fake Familiar Reborn with 3 chapters, Steel Eyed Faker soon to be 3 chapters, Hound having 3 and To love a sword having 4 chapters) are already available on my P@treon. With 4 more Broly chapters at /NimtheWriter. Also, I post commissioned arts on each story, already posted a few on an Archer's Promise, Broly and Snafu.