To Hell with Being a Saint, I’m a Doctor

“Sigh… Do you know how many days it has been?”

Startled by the voice of an elderly maid coming from outside the door, Iriel, who was hiding in her bedroom, flinched.

The maid continued to speak.

“You hardly eat or sleep properly. If you keep this up, something bad will really happen.”

“…….”

“It’s time to stop and have a conversation.”

After saying this at the door, the maid bowed her head and left for somewhere.

Have a conversation……

She had been avoiding meetings, fearing she couldn’t overcome her own emotions.

When he came, she outright rejected him and returned the jewels he sent as a way to show she didn’t want to meet.

‘I thought he would have given up by now.’

That’s what she thought.

But he never gave up.

He kept thinking and trying for a while, and then it seemed like he gave up thinking altogether and just waited quietly in front of the mansion.

From the crack of the window, she watched his actions little by little.

On the first day, he seemed restless, wandering around and looking around.

Occasionally, when he met high-ranking paladins or healers, he would greet them and make small talk.

But that didn’t last long.

After two days, and into the third, he just stared blankly at the sky.

Like someone half out of their mind, he looked at the flowing clouds, and it oddly caught her eye.

After fourteen days, it seems he got tired of looking at the sky.

With a blank gaze, he stared at the distant mountains.

Sometimes the steward came with the maids, sighed, but he stood there as if he was a rock.

Eventually, the steward gave up first.

It has been over ten days.

She, staying in the bedroom, felt exhausted just by him standing in front of the mansion.

If it were his usual self, he might have barged into the mansion by now, but so far, there’s no sign of that.

As if he was spending all his energy just waiting.

And now, on the 13th day.

He is still standing in the same place.

This has made it impossible for her to refuse.

“I can’t deal with this anymore. It’s simple but feels like a divine trial.”

She sighed briefly and called for the maid.

Not long after, the maid approached, bowing her head, and she said,

“Send a message to invite The Saint. However, tell him to rest well today, and we’ll have a talk tomorrow.”

“Understood.”

Hours had passed since The Saint was invited to the mansion.

Suppressing the turmoil in her mind as much as possible, Iriel murmured while sitting on a chair.

“…Leaving.”

Muttering that lonely word, a part of her heart felt empty.

The absence of that one person doesn’t mean the Holy Kingdom will disappear, but somehow, the world feels utterly void.

Just as she had been by Ray’s side, he had always been by her side.

Perhaps that’s why the emptiness felt even greater.

Looking at the moon outside the window, Iriel exhaled.

Her murmuring, unheard by anyone, filled the bedroom.

“It’s funny… I, a Saint worshiped by thousands, am actually very afraid. I’m terrified of living each day. Wondering how long this life must continue, when will I be able to freely express my feelings out loud…”

She clasped her shoulders and slumped down where she stood.

“I’m afraid that even now, as I speak, I might disappear… But without you, I can’t go on…!”

Unable to finish her sentence, she bit her lip hard.

Because Gaia would not forgive any more murmuring.

After entering Iriel’s mansion, he fell asleep for a day.

Although his physical fatigue wasn’t severe, the mental exhaustion was significant, and he collapsed as if he had fainted.

When he got up from the soft bed, Iriel was sitting next to him, reading a book.

She spoke without taking her eyes off the book.

“You’re awake.”

Her voice carried no particular emotion.

However, she seemed quite concerned about his condition, occasionally sneaking glances at him.

“You’ve done something uncharacteristic by pushing yourself too hard.”

“When a certain esteemed person wouldn’t open the door.”

“If the door isn’t opened, you should know to back off.”

“…Right. This is as far as I go with pushing. If you’re still not in the mood to talk, I won’t come again.”

His resolute words caught Iriel’s attention.

She closed her book and looked at him directly.

“…Talk to me.”

Her voice sounded empty, as if something was missing.

Loneliness was evident in her sad eyes.

He paused for a moment before speaking.

“At first, I intended to apologize. I thought that if we faced each other and I apologized sincerely, you would understand.”

“……”

“But after clearing my head for a few days, I realized it might be too selfish of me to expect anything from you, who has only been helpful.”

“So, I pondered on my own after that. It didn’t take long to find an answer.”

He chuckled bitterly and continued.

“Thinking you would understand everything was my selfishness.”

Ray gently stroked the cover of a book lying next to the bed as he spoke.

“As I said before, I will leave the Saint and the Holy Kingdom. Whatever happens next is up to you. Whether you resent me or hate me, I won’t interfere with your feelings.”

“What do you mean…?”

Leaving a bewildered Iriel behind, he bowed his head.

“…As you said, Iriel, you have always been of help to me. Without your support, there wouldn’t be me or the Holy Kingdom as we know it today.”

His earnestness brought back memories of various events.

Establishing a medical academy, managing the internal finances of the Holy Kingdom.

They fought a war against a necromancer and successfully completed the first pilgrimage.

There were times they went out to the village for fun, and when times were hard, they joked with each other.

The painful sensation of turning those memories with him into mere recollections caused tears to fall from Iriel’s eyes.

Without saying a word, her hands trembling, he spoke to her one last time.

“Thank you for everything, and I’m sorry.”

He swiftly began to conclude his affairs in the Holy Kingdom.

The tasks that remained were to expand the medical academy to other nations and ensure the internal stability of the Holy Kingdom.

When he explained to Zik and the Lich how to manage the medical academy, their expressions were mixed.

“…We can handle the remaining tasks, but… are you truly serious about leaving the Holy Kingdom?”

“I am. That’s why I’m entrusting these responsibilities to you.”

“But without you, the medical academy might collapse. The relationships that have been maintained under the Saint’s name are unlikely to continue once you leave the Holy Kingdom.”

He shook his head at their concerned voices.

“Don’t worry too much. I’ve already sought assistance from His Holiness the Pope in that regard.”

“If that’s the case, then it’s a relief, but…”

“At this point, all that remains is to uphold what we’ve accomplished.”

As he scanned the room for any other tasks that might require attention, Zik asked with a grave expression.

“Do you really have to go?”

“I must. I can’t advance any further in the Holy Kingdom.”

“…As a servant, it’s not my place to hinder my master’s journey. I will serve you to the best of my ability.”

“Thank you, as always.”

He said with a smirk, but his smile seemed more hollow than usual.

The Lich approached from the side.

“Lord, I will not settle in any one place. I will return to your side whenever you call upon me.”

Despite being a questionable figure, he had dedicated himself to the academy’s work until now.

It would be unreasonable not to trust him at this point.

Ray patted his shoulder and said,

“I’m counting on you.”

Two weeks had passed since he left Iriel’s mansion.

During this time, he had been visiting various nobles of the Holy Kingdom to bid farewell.

The news of the Saint’s departure initially shocked everyone, but when no new divine decree came from Goddess Gaia, the nobles interpreted it as a sign of approval and organized a grand farewell party.

He spent a pleasant day exchanging pleasantries and small talk, and finally, he planned to bid farewell to Euclid and the Seven Archons at the mansion.

Upon hearing the news, Euclid and the Seven Archons had all gathered in the garden.

“It’s nice to see you all together like this.”

“We are not supposed to reveal ourselves in our true forms…”

“What does it matter? I’m not going to be a Saint anymore.”

“Well, that’s true. Hahaha.”

He scratched the back of his head as he joked.

“You’ve heard the general idea, right?”

Euclid responded.

“What do you mean by ‘general idea’? Are you referring to the news that you’re leaving the Holy Kingdom? It seems you’ve left the academy in the care of those two, and the trade routes with the Lesian Empire have been maintained by writing the Pope’s name.”

It seems he’s not just vaguely aware but knows the details very well.

As he nodded, Euclid sighed deeply.

“Haah… Why do you insist on leaving? Even if you’ve received permission from the Goddess, to leave so easily…”

He cut off Euclid’s words.

“It’s not easy. I’ve already lost a lot.”

His laugh contained many underlying meanings, which she did not fail to notice.

Without the power to act as a Saint, without the right to wear the holy garb, and having lost close companions.

Is that all?

Everything done in his name would fall under the disposition of the Pope and the nobles, and history would remember him as a Saint who refused the call of the Goddess.

She could not fathom why he would go to such lengths to leave the Holy Kingdom, but it was clear there must be a reason.

She bowed her head in acknowledgment.

“I misspoke.”

“It’s okay.”

“Have you planned when you will leave?”

“I’m thinking of leaving in about two days.”

“To the Silia Kingdom?”

“It’s the only place I have left to return to.”

“…May I ask what you plan to do in the Silia Kingdom? I can’t even begin to guess.”

She couldn’t comprehend why anyone would relinquish the esteemed title of Saint to venture into the Silia Kingdom.

Ray earnestly replied to Euclid’s grave inquiry.

“Even if the majority yearn for the Saint of the Holy Kingdom, there’s someone out there who needs a saint in the streets.”