This Taoist Master is too Frivolous

3 Chapter 3: There are no ghosts in the world, believe in science!
Translator: 549690339
Chapter 3

Any food that has been “sniffed” by a female ghost will instantly become cold.

Its aroma and taste will completely vanish, as if it were stale, leftover food.

So what Ma Long said about “eating shit” isn’t much of an exaggeration.

The waiter came quickly.

He was a blond-haired guy wearing a white shirt, black vest, and a bow tie around his neck.

In Lanting Street, the waiters in the various KTVs, bars, and barbeque places are mostly young boys who dropped out of school instead of studying, and many of them aren’t even of age yet.

These young people have one thing in common—their tempers are explosive!

Never mind if you’re a customer or the owner, they’ll go off on anyone if something is even slightly displeasing!

If they vent their anger, they just shrug it off and move on; after all, if one person has a full stomach, the whole family can’t starve—who can do anything about it?

As soon as the blond waiter entered the private room, he stiffened his neck and asked, “What’s the matter?”

Damn it!

Ma Long also had a short temper!

After finishing high school, he had spent a year as a street rat himself.

He heard that “treasure hunting” was popular in his hometown, so he persuaded his father to buy him 200 sheep to go home with. Angrily, Ma Long pushed the skewers onto the blond waiter’s face, cursing, “Here, you taste this yourself. What the hell kind of barbecue is this?”

Seeing that the other party was even fiercer than he was, the blond waiter instantly softened up a bit and muttered, “Impossible! Our barbecue chef is a highly-paid talent that our boss poached from the neighboring bar, and his skill is renowned! Customers who eat it all say…holy shit!”

However, as soon as he bit into it, the blond waiter yelled out.

What the hell is this?

Is this it?

Barbecue chef?

He grills it like shit, and he’s also called a chef?

Blond-haired waiter suddenly slumped, saying, “Bro, should I get you another plate?”

“Change it. Change it quickly… Pfft…”

Ma Long angrily took a bite of grilled chives and spat it out on the spot. He tried the rest of the barbecue and fruit platter, fuming: “Where’s the boss? Call your boss over.”

Lady Ghost saw this scene, thinking she had done something wrong. She floated quietly behind Xu Yang.

A few strands of her black hair floated in the air, tickling Xu Yang’s neck.

She meant to ask Xu Yang to help defuse the situation.

Xu Yang understood and said, “Forget it. It’s a small matter, no need to make a fuss. We can go somewhere else to drink tomorrow.”

Pulling Ma Long out of the private room, Xu Yang went to the front desk to pay the bill.

But how could Ma Long agree?

He insisted on paying and having the cashier cancel the charges for the barbecue and fruit platters.

After leaving the KTV, Ma Long said, “Old Xu, I’m really sorry. Let’s go next door and continue drinking!”

The two young ladies followed and said, “Brother Long is so generous!”

Xu Yang looked back at the Lady Ghost floating behind him, not in the mood to continue drinking. He immediately excused himself because he wasn’t feeling well.

Ma Long nodded, saying, “Your mental state indeed seems to have some issues… It’s good to get some rest early.”

He left with the two young ladies.

Xu Yang went back into the store and settled the charges for the barbecue and fruit platters again.

He had brought the Lady Ghost, and she had “eaten” the barbecue and fruit platters.

The money couldn’t be pocketed; it would damage his “Yin virtue.”

“Lady Ghost, remember, never do something like this again.”

“It’s easy to cause misunderstandings.”

“If you want to eat barbecue, I’ll buy it for you…”

As Xu Yang walked up to the car, he suddenly remembered that he had been drinking.

Those who drink don’t drive, and those who drive don’t drink—that’s the bottom line.

He was just about to call for a substitute driver when Lady Ghost swooshed into the car and sat in the driver’s seat, enthusiastically waving her small hand at Xu Yang.

Xu Yang: “…”

He tentatively asked, “You mean you’ll drive?”

“Can you… Drive?”

The temperature in the air decreased, a cold Yin wind blew over, chilling to the bone.

Lady Ghost was angry at being doubted by Xu Yang.

She started the car, stepped on the gas, reversed out of the parking space, drove forward for 60 feet, then quickly backed up and came to a stop right next to Xu Yang, proudly raising her head at him.

Xu Yang looked on, dumbfounded.

Holy shit!

This female ghost can drive so well?

He moved to the passenger seat and thought happily, “With her around, don’t I have a free driver from now on?”

Xu Yang suddenly felt that having a female ghost by his side wasn’t so bad.

But he soon realized…

This idea is fucking ridiculous!

Because, aside from him, no one else can see the female ghost!

As soon as they left Lanting Street, their car was stopped by a traffic policeman.

Seeing the empty driver’s seat and the drunk Xu Yang in the passenger seat, the officer was stupefied.

Fortunately, Lady Ghost stepped in. With a wave of her hand, the officer shivered as if controlled, saluted Xu Yang, and then waved for him to leave.

By the time they returned to the “Funeral Shop,” it was 1 a.m.

Having had a few drinks, Xu Yang lay down on the bed and soon fell asleep.

That night, Xu Yang had a long dream.

In the dream, Lady Ghost turned into a hot babe, living a shameless life with Xu Yang, having children and a blissful life.

But the scene quickly changed – the female ghost suddenly bled from her orifices, transforming into a ferocious ghost seeking revenge!

Xu Yang jolted awake, sitting up straight in bed.

“It was just a dream…”

Heaving a long sigh, Xu Yang searched around and found Lady Ghost hanging from the ceiling, sleeping. So he quietly got out of bed.

He walked into the bathroom.

Splash…

Xu Yang looked relieved and sighed, “So refreshing… It’s amazing to pee without a female ghost watching!”

Just as he was about to finish speaking, he heard the bathroom door creak, and Lady Ghost floated in.

Xu Yang: “……”

With an expressionless face, he pulled up his pants and brushed his teeth.

Afterward, Xu Yang received another phone call from Ma Long.

“Xu Yang, I’ve asked a friend to arrange an appointment with a psychologist for you. I’ve sent you the location, and it’s set for 10 o’clock. Hurry up and come over.”

Before Xu Yang could answer, Ma Long hung up the phone.

Xu Yang felt helpless.

I’m only haunted by a female ghost, not really having a mental problem, so why do I need to see a psychologist?

But he couldn’t reject Ma Long’s kindness since he spent favors arranging the appointment, right?

“Lady Ghost, can you watch the shop for me while I go out for a bit?”

Xu Yang tried to leave Lady Ghost at home.

However, she shook her head.

…

In Wu City,

Inside a private psychology clinic.

Ma Long talked animatedly for a long time, took a sip of water to moisten his throat, and continued, “Doctor, that’s the situation with my friend.”

After a few seconds of silence, the female doctor sitting across from him asked, “How long has your friend been in this state?”

Ma Long thought about it, “For about half a month. Doctor, is it a mental problem or is he really haunted by a ghost?”

The female doctor laughed and asked instead, “Do you believe in the existence of ghosts?”

If it were two years ago, Ma Long would have jumped up immediately and told everyone to believe in science, not superstition.

However, after “treasure hunting” in the mountains over the last two years, he encountered many strange things and heard a lot of ghost stories from fellow treasure hunters. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have asked Xu Yang to perform the ritual.

So, Ma Long tilted his head and thought, “Maybe there really are ghosts?”

“… ”

The female doctor paused for a moment, then smiled and said, “The existence of ghosts and spirits is not reliable. Foreign scientists have conducted research on this subject and found that many paranormal phenomena can be explained scientifically. Your friend might be having hallucinations caused by neurasthenia, making him believe a ghost is haunting him.”

“Simply put, he has fantasy syndrome.”

“So, that damned female ghost is just a figment of his imagination?”

Ma Long laughed, “I knew it! There’s no way a female ghost would waste her time haunting him.”

“… ”

The female doctor said seriously, “Mr. Ma, there are no ghosts in this world. We must believe in science!”