This Life, I Will Be the Protagonist

[Rita]: Oh my god, thank goodness the team match is over.

[Fat Goose]: Oh my god, thank goodness the team match is over.

[Mistblade]: Oh my god, thank goodness the team match is over.

[Maple Syrup]: Oh my god, thank goodness the team match is over.

[Motor]: …Are you people even speaking human language?!

Motor slammed his hands on the table. "Boss! One copy of Cinnabar of the Cliff's intel, right now!"

Rita and Mistblade, sitting opposite him, froze for a second. Then, over Motor's tiny robot form, they locked eyes with the crimson glow of Cinnabar's mechanical gaze.

By the time Motor was loudly pointing out all the errors and missing pieces in Cinnabar's file to the entire tavern, Cinnabar had already walked up to their table.

Two teammates followed close behind—Syntax and Gale.

Heads lifted at every nearby table. Dozens of eyes turned their way.

Cinnabar's mech body scanned Motor, then gave a thin smile. "So it's you."

Motor immediately dropped his disguise, shifting straight into combat form. He stood on the table, staring up at Cinnabar, who towered thirty centimeters taller even in base form.

The contrast was brutal. Motor looked outmatched before he even moved. In combat stance beside Cinnabar's base form, the hopelessness was almost painful.

Even Rita felt a wave of helplessness.

Syntax sighed. "Your little brother really is a walking tragedy…"

No one could say who struck first. Skills flew too fast, many silent and unseen. One blink, and the tavern had erupted into chaos.

With everyone's disguises blown, Rita and her squad stopped pretending too.

Rita shouted, "No fighting in Burrowbug Tavern!" while slamming Syntax, the undead, into the floor with both fists. He'd asked for it. His mouth was too damn smug.

At the next table, Wither Monarch had been watching. He finally stood, intending to pull Syntax out, muttering to Pine Bloom and the others not to interfere, not to escalate.

Then Maple Syrup, in the middle of trading blows with Cinnabar, accidentally slapped Bearmud across the jaw.

That was it.

Both sides dragged in. Pine Bloom, Frenzied Shark, Autumn Deer—they couldn't just sit and watch anymore.

On the other side, Mistblade was whipping her tails like mad while backing Motor against Cinnabar. One swipe knocked Lulumi's giant sundae straight onto the squirrel's head. Another smacked JE three times as he tried to quietly eat his lunch.

Even Rita had to admit—it was probably on purpose.

Fat Goose got blasted across the room, landed butt-first on Crab's head, then smashed his shield into a poor raccoon apprentice's skull.

One after another, everyone got dragged into the brawl.

…

GodDraw77 paused mid-sip of tea.

Across from her, Lightchaser lowered her cup with a frown. "She can follow you to learn druidic techniques, sure. But how does that make her your apprentice? I've never heard of an apprentice having two official mentors."

GodDraw77 answered calmly, "Well… while we're talking, your apprentice is currently brawling at Burrowbug Tavern in Dalaran. They've nearly wrecked the place. The damage bill is already tallied—thirteen million gold. Good news, she wasn't the one who destroyed the most property. Bad news, even after responsibilities were divided, she still owes about three hundred thousand."

Lightchaser snapped, "Your apprentice."

GodDraw77 shot back, "Your apprentice."

"Yours."

"Yours!"

"Yours!"

"Yours!"

GodDraw77 exhaled through her nose. "…Too childish to argue."

She had to go bail them out anyway. But first, she'd have to get the money from Mistake Answer. There was no way she was fronting it herself.

…

When GodDraw77 arrived at Burrowbug Tavern, the entrance was choked with apprentices.

She wasn't the only teacher. Instructors from Puppy Ranch, Cliff, Icefield Lake, and Twilight Library were already there, faces dark with anger, come to bail out their own.

Inside, Rita and Fat Goose had Motor by both arms, dragging him back. Motor's head was swollen nearly flat, but he was still screaming at Cinnabar: "You talentless piece of trash!"

Across from him, Syntax and Gale restrained Cinnabar. He roared back, "Mechanical garbage!"

To outsiders, it sounded like childish insults. But those who knew their secrets… winced. They were stabbing at each other's weakest points.

Motor kept kicking into the air, legs pumping as his teammates dragged him off. "Trash, trash, trash!"

Cinnabar, locked down by his teammates, couldn't fire his cannons anymore. He kicked air back in Motor's direction, bellowing, "Garbage, garbage, garbage!"

GodDraw77: "…"

She shifted into moonbear form and stepped between them. Silence dropped like a hammer.

She joined the other instructors in a grim line before Dusksable, who was waving a ledger with both claws.

Dusksable stood on the rim of a two-meter beer mug, the wrecked tavern behind him nothing but splinters. He waved the bill. "Fair prices, every one! Quit glaring, or I'll dump all your academy secrets at discount!"

The Twilight Library instructor, standing behind GodDraw77, snorted. "What secrets could I possibly have?"

Dusksable froze. "?"

He pulled a notebook from his back, flipped pages, then slammed it open. "Your Lightchaser fanfics have made over two hundred thousand gold these past years."

GodDraw77 immediately turned to stare at the blue-skinned mage behind her. "Show me."

Dusksable smirked. "Want to know? No, you don't."

GodDraw77: ???

The mage shrieked, "Fine! Here! Take it!"

Shoving past the moonbear, she hurled her coin purse at Dusksable, grabbed the bill, scribbled her name, then scooped up her apprentices like armfuls of groceries. Orange White tossed over her shoulder, Crab under one arm, the raccoon under the other—then she blinked out of sight.

All eyes swung back to GodDraw77.

She quietly handed over her payment. "I don't want to know."

Signed, sealed, she turned toward her five apprentices, who were huddled in a guilty little cluster.

"Did you win or lose? Does it hurt?"

Their eyes lit up. What did that mean?

Around them, apprentices from other schools leaned in.

So Moonlight Marsh was this warm? Other teachers only cared about the money. But theirs… she cared if they won, if they were hurt.

Pride swelled in Rita's chest. She straightened and declared, "We won!"

GodDraw77 nodded, satisfied. "Good. Then the interest on the advance we covered for your damages won't be too high."

Apprentices: ?

Rita: "Wait… what's this about fanfics? We should investigate."

The bear's paw landed on her head before she could finish.