This Life, I Will Be the Protagonist

—"Having fun with the gacha machine?"

Now that was an interesting question.

Rita slightly lifted the gacha machine and glanced at the Fat Duck across from her, puffing out its chest. This one was also carrying a gacha machine, but it wasn't Fat Duck No.1.

In the few seconds she'd looked away, countless skills had already been launched at her. Rita quickly ducked back down and hid under the machine again.

She answered honestly. "The gacha machine is a divine work of art."

She felt that she'd barely tapped into ten percent of its potential.

As soon as that reply appeared, the dialogue box vanished.

Rita didn't mind. She wasn't trying to flatter anyone anyway, even if she suspected that the one messaging her might be one of the gacha machine's creators.

…

Despite the barrage of ground-level area-of-effect attacks, Rita remained perfectly safe, tucked under the protective harness of the gacha machine.

As for the chorus of complaints hurled at her across the field, she flicked her ear and pretended not to hear a thing. Let them be the ones stewing in frustration—she certainly wasn't.

Some players were trying to avoid giving her free kills, using single-target skills rather than damaging the Gacha Defenders on her path.

But nearly half the players on the field had multi-target setups. No matter how careful they were, the defenders' HP inevitably dropped.

Rita patiently crept forward, tile by tile.

The players behind her died in waves, but as soon as a starting tile opened up, another player took their place.

This strategy of hers didn't even take much effort. Half an hour later, she stood at the starting tile of the Gacha Defenders. In her lane, there were no players left but her.

One more minute, and she'd reach the gacha machine.

Honestly, she felt like turning around and thanking the others—every defender in her way had been killed by someone else.

[Player Banana Mint has used the item "Profit Swap" on you. Banana Mint will take half the damage you receive during the game, and 30% of your game rewards will be allocated to Banana Mint.]

Rita immediately used Moment Reversal to swap their names.

[Player Banana Mint has used the item "Profit Swap" on you. Banana Mint will take half the damage that Banana Mint receives, and 30% of Banana Mint's rewards will be allocated to you.]

From behind came a string of angry syllables in a language Rita didn't understand, but from the tone—sharp, clipped, absolutely furious—she guessed it had to be Banana Mint.

She didn't even glance back. Since the start of the match, so many items had been used on her she'd lost count, but Moment Reversal worked like a charm every time. Just swap the names with the intended beneficiary—problem solved.

Once the swap happened, at least half of the players instantly canceled their items. The rest either couldn't cancel or figured the items' duration was short enough not to bother.

A voice came from the left, speaking Mandarin: "Are you really planning to finish the game like this?"

It was a Gacha Defender. Aside from the machine races and Nivalis, only defenders ever spoke to her in Mandarin.

Rita replied, "Yup. What, is that not allowed?"

The voice asked, "Don't you think this tactic is a little cowardly?"

Rita: "...You know what happened to the last Gacha Defender who called me a coward?"

Fat Duck No.2: "What happened?"

Rita: "I killed them. But only after they helped me awaken an SSS-level skill called Unchanged Fate."

Fat Duck No.2: Quack?

As it watched Rita inch closer to the gacha machine, it turned and asked Sweet Pomelo—who had been gently poking it with a wing—"Who was she talking about?"

Sweet Pomelo: "Deceitful Bloom."

Fat Duck No.2: "......"

This was Rita's first time physically standing in front of the gacha machine, despite having pulled it hundreds of times on her in-game console.

With the machine on her back, shielding her from all the chaos behind, she pressed the button with ease.

The eggs inside tumbled. Seconds later, one rolled out of the hatch.

Rita immediately opened it. In this game, every chance to enter the match meant another chance to roll, and the more she rolled, the more opportunities she had.

This match was harder than the maze, and players lost Blocks even faster than on the Ferris wheel.

Players only advanced one tile per minute, but just like in Plants vs. Zombies, every time a starting tile was freed, a new player was tossed in. Entry speed and death rate were both absurdly high.

Naturally, the rewards were equally impressive.

The drop rate was a staggering 50%. Aside from five blank eggs, the rest contained seriously good stuff:

Event Gift Boxes, Copy Blocks, 100g attribute Blocks, more gift boxes, and an exclusive skill slot item: Attack Skill Slot (Defend the Gacha only).

Rita unlocked an SSS-tier AOE skill from Chaotic Restaurant: Eternal Winter.

Centered on her, its radius was equal to her level (in meters). Entering the zone meant being swallowed by blizzards and glaciers, everything frozen solid.

The damage scaled off Intelligence, so it didn't hurt much coming from her. But it had a 20% chance to freeze targets on impact—perfect for creating chaos.

Back in the waiting zone, with the now-miniature gacha machine on her back, Rita stared blankly at the ground, acting like she didn't see the crowd forming around her.

"How much for that machine?"

"Was it really a freebie from a gacha pull?"

"She's full of crap and you believe her?"

"She put the Divine Relics in there—does that mean we can't loot them?"

"Feels like it. That's a total exploit!"

"So even if we kill her, the Divine Relics won't drop?"

"Ugh, Verdant Whisper · Windrush, I can't believe you of all people…"

Maple Syrup and Mistblade—both recently killed and returned—squatted beside her again, one on either side.

Maple Syrup: "Sweetheart, talk to your mother. Speak from the heart."

Rita: "…You mean, you want to know where I got the gacha machine?"

Maple Syrup nodded with a smile. "That's what we call mother-daughter intuition."

Rita's expression involuntarily twisted.

She looked at Mistblade with a "go on, showtime" expression.

Mistblade: "I'll trade you ten SSS-tier items for your gacha machine. Or pick fifty—any fifty you want."

Rita shook her head. "Even if you offered me a fully assembled Divine Relic, I wouldn't sell my gacha machine."

…

[Drummer]: I think we seriously undersold those gacha machines

[Sweet Pomelo]: You wanna raise the price again??

[Drummer]: Did you not hear her? "Even if you gave me a complete Divine Relic, I wouldn't sell my gacha machine."

[Captain]: ?

[Drummer]: BS-Rita said it

[Deceitful Bloom]: That's what I don't like about her. Too stubborn. She never sugarcoats.

[Drummer]: Yeah, and she also called the gacha machine a divine work of art

[Deceitful Bloom]: Factually correct

[Drummer]: It is

Every god and demon who read the chat: …